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Main Forums => Positive Women => Topic started by: jdmalawi on June 09, 2013, 09:14:02 pm

Title: Anyone Else?
Post by: jdmalawi on June 09, 2013, 09:14:02 pm
I am a single professional woman living in Canada.  I work as an elemenary school teacher and have an orphan care centre in malawi.  I tested positive in the fall.  I am angry at myself for being careless.  I feel ashamed because I am an educated, middle-class lady who should know better. 

Are there any other professional women out there with HIV?  I know I'm ignorant but I feel like this is a disease of drug users and Africans. I just feel like no one will believe me if I say I'm HIV+.  I am judging myself, harshly. 



Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: chocaholic on June 10, 2013, 04:23:43 am
for Africans???????? that is so insulting..what planet do u come from.  HIV doesnt discriminate as you know clearly know now
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: karry on June 10, 2013, 07:10:05 am
I felt so insulted when I read this because I am African. Too bad its misconceptions like these that lead people like the op to this forum. Guess what I am also highly educated and professional and my partner and I are above middle class...but then we are not a good example to the op because we are Africans.
You have an immune system...so be you white, green, blue, rich or poor , gay or straight you are at risk for HIV. Pleade teach this to the children at your school too.
Karry
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: BT65 on June 10, 2013, 07:15:38 am
I see why the others feel insulted, as do I, since I"m a recovering drug addict.  But I did not get HIV from being a drug addict.  It just doesn't matter who a person is, where they are from, what their habits are etc.   Anyone having unprotected sex is at risk.  As you are experiencing.  I am not above middle class, but am a social worker, working at an ASO.  I see people from all walks of life in our agency, trust me.
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: klassykitty on June 11, 2013, 09:11:43 pm
Jdmalawi,

I am neither African, or a recovering drug user, well my drug recovery happened 25 years ago.

I got AIDS from my ex-husband.  I am no middle class, my government classifies me  as poor.

Like BT said all people can get it if they are not careful.

People believing you isn't the only thing you should worry about you also have to  worry about how they react. 

Michelle 8)

 
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: karry on June 11, 2013, 10:52:07 pm
I am a single professional woman living in Canada.  I work as an elemenary school teacher and have an orphan care centre in malawi.  I tested positive in the fall.  I am angry at myself for being careless.  I feel ashamed because I am an educated, middle-class lady who should know better. 

Are there any other professional women out there with HIV?  I know I'm ignorant but I feel like this is a disease of drug users and Africans. I just feel like no one will believe me if I say I'm HIV+.  I am judging myself, harshly.

My initial anger after reading this post has ebbed down a little. I reread it and I feel that maybe if you stopped putting people in categories such as African, drug user, middle class, rich or poor ...and just see us all as a set of people who have something in common, i.e HIV, then it will make it easier for you to accept your diagnosis, accept others...and you will probably stop judging yourself and start healing internally. Believe me, in order to cope with this new you i.e HIV positive you, you have to learn to forgive yourself for having made a mistake most of us here made....having unprotected sex.

I sincerely hope you will some day come to a place where you realise that the road to this status doesn't really matter..once you are here, you are here. Its now the question of how you wish to move on that matters in the long run.
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: jdmalawi on June 12, 2013, 07:26:09 am
Karry,

Thank you for understanding and for seeing that I am judging myself more harshly than I'm judging anyone else. 

I'm so very sorry to have offended so many strangers.  I truly hoped I could find support here but I've obviously botched it big time.

Best of luck to all of you.
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: jdmalawi on June 12, 2013, 07:30:15 am
To All Whom I Have Offended by my Ignorance:

I'm so very sorry.  I didn't mean to imply that ANYONE deserves HIV more than I do.  I know I can be very judgmental.  I judge myself as harshly if not more. 

I had hoped this forum would provide me with stories similar to mine (single lady, smart enough to know better, too trusting) makes a mistake that forever changes her life. 

I didn't mean to offend and I'm sorry for that.

If you knew me at all you'd find that I am not racist in any way.  I can't and won't try to prove that to you all here but I must state it for the record. 

POZ is a great site and I'd really hoped to find a community here.  My apologies for the offense I have caused. 

Best of luck to all of you.
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: TabooPrincess on June 12, 2013, 01:07:36 pm
Don't go!!!! 
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: anniebc on June 12, 2013, 05:16:57 pm
Hi JD

It's easy to say things we don't mean when we are angry, God knows I've hit that post button myself when I've been angry, and paid the price.

Try and put this behind you, as far as I'm concerned it's done now, you have apologised so let that be an end to it.

Please stay around and continue to post, this really is the best site for help and support.

BTW, I was a nurse for 30 years, I ended my career with a private company as a nursing sister in charge in Pathology, there are quite a few professional ladies here who has been through all the ups and downs and are still with us today and still working.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Aroha
Jan
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: BT65 on June 12, 2013, 05:55:12 pm
Please don't stop posting.  We've all made mistakes here, as Jan said, so don't worry about it.  This place really is wonderfully supportive and if you stick around you will find that out. :)

Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: klassykitty on June 14, 2013, 10:08:47 pm
Hi JD,

As Bt65 has mentioned we all have said something at one time or another to offend someone.  Don't worry people will let you know, usually in a good way.

It really is worth sticking around and getting to know us.

 Some of us on here have made a mistake that has changed our life, don't judge yourself to harshly.  that is something I'm sure most of us have done to ourselves at some point or another.

Michelle 8)
Title: Re: Anyone Else?
Post by: Happy1976 on June 18, 2013, 11:16:29 am
Hi

I am an African , I am from South Africa, my government classifies me as someone who is living above middle class,  I have (two) 2 masters degrees (explains the intelligence) and I am married to a HIV negative man BUT I am HIV positive.

As all the writers said HIV does not discriminate.

I have been knowingly living with HIV for 6 years and I have been on ART for 4 years.

So to answer your question yes " there is anyone else" except the fact that I am an African and I am not sure if my answer qualifies.

Good luck in your journey of healing and forgiving yourself and the person who infected you.

Do not be too harsh to your self it will make the healing process difficult.

This site is very informative and it will be beneficial to you should you decide to stay.

Good luck and regards

Happy