On PEP and scared

[Katcoo]

I'm 38 and after brief separation from husband of 19 yrs I made the worst mistake of my life by meeting up with a guy from holistic nutritional school. My marriage had been pretty complicated with hardly any sex and emotional abuse which made me very lonely and desperate for affection although I'm not blaming anyone but myself. 3 weeks ago  I had a brief  2-3 minute unprotected sex with a guy that lied about being tested
and removed condom, ejaculated on me not inside without my consent, I freaked out when I saw what he did and
then I found out he had many unprotected sex with women and possibly men. I asked him again if he'd been tested and he replied no and it's curable!!!!!! I ran out of there after I gathered the  info this guy followed me to my car and begged me to forgive him but I told him never contact me which he did anyways.
I had previously told him that in no circumstances would I have sex without a condom so I feel violated and disgusted with myself. I drove to ER but they didn't have PEP so after 24 hrs I found an infectious disease doctor who put me on Truvada Norvir and Prezista. Doctor seems optimistic but I'm pretty traumatized and scared. Thankfully doing very well and hardly any side effects.
To make matters worse I'm back with husband who I've been totally honest with .thankfully wants to try work it out but he keeps contacting this jerk and we are both begging for a test but guy says he might be HIV positive then changes his mind and says he's not and asks me to see him and that he knows where I live and work. I made it clear he cannot contact me but then I text hoping he says he'll get tested. Sick I know but I am not thinking clearly .Police  took report but won't do anything and I've gotten a lawyer God forbid should I become infected.
Honestly I am beyond despair with all this.

[Andy Velez]

Kat, first of all take a good deep breath in slowly and let it out slowly. And do that again. I mean it. And do it anytime you find yourself tensing up. It really helps.

Forget about chasing this guy and creating a whole drama for yourself with cops and legal stuff. You had sex and as you said yourself you have to be responsible for yourself.

The odds are in your favor that you're going to come out of this ok. The intercourse was brief and did not include the guy ejaculating in your vagina. And it was a one-time event.

You can test initially at 6 weeks after the completion of PEP. If that result is negative as I expect it to be, then in all likelihood you will test negative again for a conclusive result at 3 months. In the meantime you are going to have to make a real effort to focus on other matters in your life. Don't bother saying you are too worried to do that. That response won't fly here. Just do it and you will find that the waiting time can pass more easily than you may imagine is possible.

Taking all of the facts as you have reported them in mind, I expect you are going to come out of this ok.

[Katcoo]

Thanks Andy. I did the deep breaths today and it helped somewhat. I have a an 18 yr old child and a full life so I try my best to focus on that.
Only reason I'm seeking legal help is that the person didn't respect my wishes to keep condom on and I  didn't realize it although I did check several times but I only noticed too late when he was climaxing. Other possible exposures,  he had given me oral a week before and I also had dark blue bruises on my lips from his teeth hitting the inside of my mouth. I really don't recall any penetration just his fingers..... Sad I know but I had 3 glasses of wine that night.
 I'd love nothing more than to get my test results for HIV and  other stds as well and move on. Getting that Jan .16th

[Ann]

Kat,

The only risk you had was the unprotected intercourse. The oral sex and kissing weren't risks.

You need to calm down - you're on PEP and are highly unlikely to end up hiv positive, even if this guy is hiv positive.

Ann

[Katcoo]

Thanks Ann. Yes I'm hoping PEP is successful!!!!!!