Very high risk, do I even stand a chance?

[jake5225]

So it's been about 3 months since the incident and I've waited with knots in my stomach for this time to pass so I can be sure when I get tested my results will be 95% accurate or better. Three months ago I had unprotected anal sex with someone. It never should have happened, drinking was involved and truthfully the entire incident was ridiculous. I was the top and inserted into his anus for no longer than 5 minutes(probably less) I didn't even fully insert I'd say no more then half my penis was inside him at any point.  I did finish inside him and a week later he found out that one of his partners is positive and he got tested and is positive as well. I don't know for a fact but we are pretty sure he was recently infected within a month(at most) prior to us having sex. Now there was no blood and I was super super gentle using saliva as lubricant. I truly regret this and have learned my lesson. Since then I have had no weird symptoms, no soar throat or rash, fevers or cold, nothing at all. In fact I have felt in my best health ever. I am beyond scared to get tested but I know it must be done. This only happened this one time, I am curious...do I even stand a chance at being negative? I know when someone is newly infected their virus load is the highest. I have done alot of research and of course the only way to know is to test but I am hoping for some real honest but hopeful words of advise for this situation. I'm truly scared and know that if I am negative I will never EVER put myself in this situation again.

Side note both him and the person who infected them both experienced soar throats within weeks of infection, I doubt this matters but I have not. Since it's the same strain(I'm guessing) would I have experienced the same symptom to start?

[Ann]

Jake,

The chance of you testing negative is excellent after a one-time insertive incident. Hiv is more difficult, but not impossible, to transmit to the insertive partner. While you have had a risk and do need to test, you are more likely than not to test negative, but the only way to know for sure is to test.

Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. Many people who are positive don't remember any kind of illness that could point to their seroconversion. The ONLY way to know your status is to test.

Even if you do test positive, you need to know. Hiv is no longer a death sentence and today's drugs are very tolerable for the majority of people.

You need to understand that it doesn't matter how far in you put your penis, as the only part of your penis that is vulnerable to infection is the head - specifically the lining of your urethra and if you are uncircumcised, the inner lining of the foreskin (the part that is hidden when the foreskin is covering the head).

I'm happy to see that you have realised the role drinking played in you making this mistake. You should make sure you have condoms with you if there is the slightest possibility of sex happening.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

GO TEST!!! Being scared is no excuse and it won't work here.

Ann

[jake5225]

Thanks for giving me a possibility of hope. Although I realize it's a very real factor that I do stand a change of being positive for this, It's good to know that I stand a chance against it.

I understand being scared isn't going to help at all and I expect no ones sympathy as this was my mistake and carelessness. I can't say I wasn't informed or that I'm not smart enough to know. Sure had I known he was positive I'd have at the very least made sure protection was used but what's done is done.

Of course I'm scared to learn if I am positive but most of my fear comes from being alone afterwards as I have no one to go to for support. I could never tell my friends or family as they are not the kind of people who would welcome me with open arms. It's a scary thought knowing you will have to live a lie from the people you care most about. Not to mention, and I am truly ignorant as far as the dating life of a positive person goes....but I'd imagine what already seems like a nightmare(dating while negative) is extremely difficult to control oneself and make smart decisions for both you and your partner with disclosing information and carefully stepping around ways to make sure no infection is possibly spread.

Just thought I'd follow up with my thoughts and concerns, I know for me reading others mindsets and reactions has helped alot. We all react and respond differently, this is just how I feel and I hope someone can relate as I can't think these forums enough for even the slightest peace of mind and knowing that I am not alone in this.

[jake5225]

Also i wanted to mention my friend right now does not even need medication and his viral load is low. I don't know the exat number but low enough that he doesn't need medication at this time. Does that reduce the chances of transmission at all?

[Ann]

Jake,

A lower viral load is less infectious, but still infectious.

You're just going to have to man up and go get tested. There's nothing else we can say.

Ann

[jake5225]

I've posted previously and am still working up my nerve and courage to go get tested. I will defiantly do this by the end of the month but wanted to enjoy the rest of the summer with my friends without knowing for sure that I am hiv positive(assuming that is even the case). In my previous post I mentioned I briefly inserted without protection to someone who then found out they are hiv positive. While it was brief(5 min or less) and no blood was detected, in fact not even fully inserted, I did ejaculate.

It's been 4 months and I've waited this long to make sure when I go my results will be the real deal(no false hope). I realize questions like this are probably annoying but just recently I got a cold, just congestion and a cough and its pretty much gone after 4 days. I have noticed though lately that on my upper arms i've been getting raised skin tones bumps(could be dry skin or even acne cause i've always had problematic skin my whole life) Also immediately after the cold my gums seemed to be a little swollen(I might have just brushed to hard or something)

I am just curious at the 4 months mark after infection, do things as I've described above potentially indicate infection. Since the exposure I have felt super healthy until just the past week and seemed to recover rather quickly. I realize not everyone shows symptoms and even symptoms can't be a yes or no for infection but I thought maybe someone might have more knowledge on the subject to provide.

[Andy Velez]

I've merged your threads here. In the future please follow the rule of this site that all of your entries go in the same thread.

There is nothing more for us to say about your situation. Your risk was low and we expect you will likely test negative. I can help wondering how much you are going to enjoy the time spent while you hold off on getting tested, but that's your decision to make.

Your symptoms are certainly not HIV-speicifc, but then the presence or the absence of symptoms will never tell you anything accurately about your HIV status. Only an HIV test can do that for you. Good luck with your test when you get around to doing it.

[jake5225]

Sorry if my thread wasn't following rules. While I appreciate your responses and information I do sense somewhat of a negative undertone to your response. "when I get around to it" as if it wasn't a priority. Of course it is, and I'm dealing with things the best way I know how at the moment. To be honest I want to worry a little and I want to remember exactly how scared I was so in the event I am negative I never put myself in this situation again. I want to make sure this is a good lesson learned hopefully with a forgiving outcome. I'm taking the time to mentally prepare myself for the worst. Emotionally I'm a fragile person on a normal basis...something like this is near unbearable to deal with and I'm trying to prepare myself to deal with it. Thanks for the advice though.

[Andy Velez]

OK. So you have a plan that you feel will work for you. That's good.

Good luck with your test result.