Anxiety + Stress = Killing Me

[anxiety555]

Hello guys! First of all. I'm new here. I just have some questions regarding on my sexual encounter happened last year, during my freshman year in college. I'm sophomore now.

So I meet this guy from the other school. We became friends and sooner he invited me to his dorm. We talked for a moment and after then we made out. Because of my stupidity, he asked me to give him an oral. Since that time it's REALLY my first time to do such an act, I tried it. It's is unprotected. It never lasted a minute because I really don't like it. He NEVER ejaculated in my mouth and I don't remember any sores or whatever in my mouth. It happened twice, with the same scenario. No condom, never ejaculated in my mouth, it lasted a minute (I think it's just 50-55 seconds) and I don't remember sores and stuffs.

After a few weeks or so, I got flu like symptoms. HIV never crossed my mind at that point because during the time I'm having my flu, it's also a flu season here in our country so.

Now, it's been almost a year. It's weird because at this point I'm panicking the hell out of me thinking that bad memory. I know I should move on now but I'm so scared. I just had a folliculitis in my leg, just one piece in my leg. And now it's dried out. I googled it one of the symptoms is it's because of the friction between the skin and a tight clothing. My school pants in really skinny because skinny pants are my thing. And also, folliculitis is in the same family of eczema which I had diagnosed before and also in the part of my family (heredity). I thought it has something to do with HIV so I googled the symptoms and skin rashes are one.

Now, almost 1 year of my encounter I feel fine. I don't feel anything and feeling healthy. I am really a health freak person. I don't skip my daily intake of multivitamins supplement, I just had a booster shot vaccine for Hepatitis B and I don't easily get colds, coughs, and etc. But whenever I think of my past experience I feel terribly ill, and whenever I'm googling the symptoms of HIV, I feel I'm having while reading it. I'm having a terrible anxiety and stress these past weeks and scared. That encounter is the first and I think last sexual encounter I'll be having in my life. I feel so scared now to be in a relationship and I feel everything is not safe. I'm being hypochondriac all the time even in my own house!

So my questions are:
Does my encounter has a high risk for HIV infection?
Do I need to go testing? If yes, what kind of test is reliable?

Please consider answering my questions. Thank you so much and more power to you, beautiful people!

Anxiety555

[Jeff G]

Hi 555 . These are the ways HIV is transmitted .

Sharing IV drug needles immediately after use.
Unprotected anal and vaginal sex.
Mother to child during or shortly after birth
Very specific healthcare situations.

There have been no fewer than three separate serodiscordant couples studies (where one person is HIV positive, the other negative.) These couples were tracked for three. five and ten years. The couples used condoms for penetrative vaginal and anal sex, but NO BARRIER at all for oral sex. Any kind of oral sex.

These studies yielded NO infections so you didn't have a risk for HIV  , zero .

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME for the incident you described  , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[anxiety555]

Hello there! Thank you for your response. You don't know how great I'm feeling right now after reading your response! I actually consulted this problem of mine to my aunt, which is a registered nurse. She said its nothing and I'm just being paranoid all the time and I'm putting a lot of anxiety and stress in my life.

But sometimes I can't help myself but to spend a time googling about HIV and later on I can't restrain myself from thinking the "what ifs". I really can't concentrate and just a few weeks its my midterm exams already. I hope this feeling will go now. It's very hard and tiring. Maybe I need some sort of theraphy or something but I can't afford to stop a semester just for the therapy.

But thank you agin for the response! God bless you and wish you all the best in life!

[Andy Velez]

What you need to do is stop searching the net. You don't have a problem but you will definitely lots to feed your worst fears there and all to no good purpose. Cut it out. Really.

[Jeff G]

Hi Anxiety . It sounds like you are dealing with an HIV phobia . You owe it to yourself to try and recover from this and if therapy is the way then you should explore that option .

A healthy sex life is one of life's pleasures that you should enjoy and it would be a shame for you to miss out on a stress free sex life . You can go to therapy and complete your education at the same time I bet . 

[anxiety555]

Thank you again for the response!

Yes, I hope so. But I'm doing much better now. The anxiety and stress is slowly fading now but there's still some worries and thinking. My family is observing my behavior ever since this anxiety and stress came. They have a conclusion that I maybe suffering from OCD. Whenever I'm going to school, a train is my transportation because I don't want to use my car. When there is a person sneezing or coughing my heart beats so fast. And I feel like I'm going to get the disease. I really hate being surrounded my people it kills me. I get dizzy or so whatever.

I also thinking what if the symptoms are just not occurring but really I am infected? What if in the future suddenly I became really ill? These questions are the ones to blame for my lost of concentration and being scared again.

So, do I still need the therapy? Thank you again.

[Jeff G]

Judging from your response it leaves little doubt in my mind that you could benefit from therapy . The important thing is how do you feel about it ? .

Do not make the mistake of thinking that your current state of mind is something you have to except . You have a choice to make , to live in fear or get some help and on the road to recovery .

The beautiful thing about therapy is that when you talk to another person in therapy you must make sense to two people instead of being stuck with the same old internal dialog that has got you nowhere fast .     

[Ann]

Gambit,

I removed your post from this thread.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Only those Moderators and members who are authorized to answer questions in the Am I Infected? forum are permitted do so. Unauthorized responses may be deleted without permission of the poster. Repeatedly posting replies of this nature may result in a Time Out or permanent ban, at the discretion of the Moderator Team.

You are not authorised to respond in the Am I Infected? forum. Do not post in this section the forums again.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann