Looking for any words of support or encouragement

[SusieF]

I hit rock bottom 16 weeks ago.  I am a soon to be 36 year old woman and suffer from alcohol abuse.  I just completed a 4 week rehab program and I am back on track to getting my life headed in the right direction.  I believe I put myself at risk 16 weeks ago and honestly don't know if I have reason to be concerned.  However, I am assuming the worst happened.  I went away for the weekend to escape from some drama and after some time in my hotel room, I got bored and had a lot of nervous energy, I went to the hotel bar to self medicate and after some time, I just don't remember anything......I blacked out and woke up in my hotel room at 4:30am. I was alone, but naked with throw up all over and I just had a gut feeling that something bad happened and have convinced myself of it and have no way of knowing for sure.  This was my bottom. I will not go into all the symptoms as I know from reading on this site they really don't mean anything.   I have tested to Gonorrhea and Chlamydia and they were negative. I tested with Home Access for HIV at 4 weeks and at 10 weeks and was negative.  I testd today at 16 weeks after I got out of rehab. I bought the Express Test so I should have the results in a day or two.  I will test for Hep and Syphilis next week when I go to Doc to make sure I have everything covered.  I am hoping for any words of encouragement to get me through the next couple days.  Thanks for allowing me to share my story. 

[Ann]

Susie,

Your ten week negative is highly unlikely to change - although you're doing the right thing by confirming your result. I don't expect anything other than another negative result and neither should you.

For future reference, you need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann

[SusieF]

Ann,

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement.  I really needed to hear them. 

I am trying to focus on positive thoughts.

All the best,
Susie

[SusieF]

My 16 week test was negative.  I am glad I took the final test and no longer need to think of what ifs....I can focus 100% now on my recovery and staying sober. 

Thank you.

[Andy Velez]

Congratulations on that happy and conclusive test result.

Have intercourse with whomever you want to in the future. Just make sure the guy is always, without exception, wearing a condom.

Good luck to you.

[SusieF]

I am not sure if I am doing this correctly.  I wanted to stay in the same thread.

It has been some time since I have been on this forum.   Since I posted last, I have been focusing on my recovery.  I am soon to be coming up on one year of sobriety.  With this impending celebration, I have had a lot of time to reflect on some things which has also caused me some doubt.  I had mentioned that I tested at 4 weeks, 10 weeks and 16 weeks with Home Access after a black out espisode in which I was concerned about something happening.   All tests were negative and gave me some immediate relief and comfort and helped in keeping me focused on being sober.  With this said, due to some other medical issues, I found out I have a blood clotting condition and was wondering if this would in any way affect the validity of a HIV test via Home Access?  This has been on my mind quite a bit and while I have a mantra that I say that inlcudes symptoms don't mean anything relative to HIV, I can't help but to have a twinge of doubt since I have had so many random medical issues that I haven't had previously.

Any insight into blood clotting and HIV testing would be helpful?   

Thanks,
Susie

[RapidRod]

No your blood clotting issue would not have an effect on your test. You are conclusively negative.

[SusieF]

Thank you for the speedy reply RapidRod.  I was out there searching and didn't see anything relative to my concern.   

Thanks and take care.

Susie

[Andy Velez]

You are reliably and conclusively HIV negative. You needn't worry about past history in relation to HIV.

What you need to focus on is now and that everytime you choose to have intercourse again in the future you will always make certain the guy is wearing a condom. NO EXCEPTIONS!