Author Topic: New Here and Would Like Some Advice (Read 8761 times)

newbie92 · « **on:** June 07, 2014, 05:56:26 pm »

Hello Everyone! Long story short. I'm new to this POZ world. I was just recently diagnosed via Oraquick this past March. Nobody knows except my boyfriend (he was born HIV+). I'm assuming he gave it to me but that's not important. I started Tivicay and Epzicom in June and haven't missed a dose!!

Go me! I'm still having a hard time adjusting. I know it will take time. I worry a lot about my health and my dreams of going to med school. I don't want this to consume me or change my life path. I want to feel normal again. I want to treat it just how I treat my asthma. I haven't disclosed to anyone because I don't want to anyone to be disappointed in me. I need advice on coping!

newbie92 · « **Reply #1 on:** June 07, 2014, 06:38:05 pm »

Correction, I started the regimen this past May.

BT65 · « **Reply #2 on:** June 07, 2014, 10:33:58 pm »

Hi there, and welcome to the ladies family. What are you having issues coping with, just being HIV+? Don't worry, you will adjust. The first year (or two) is like a transition period. You're still learning how to deal with it yourself.

Why would people be disappointed in you? You have to quit worrying about that. About your plans you can definitely still go to med school. Do you live in the US? Forgot to find that out.

We're here for you. Keep talking.

Betty

newbie92 · « **Reply #3 on:** June 08, 2014, 04:37:53 am »

Thanks for the reply! I am having trouble with coping with being positive. I really couldn't believe this has happened to me. Some days I really hate myself for doing this to myself. And I do love in the US. My mom is a nurse and I don't want her to be full of criticism or judgement. I feel like I can't only cope when I'm with my boyfriend.

BT65 · « **Reply #4 on:** June 08, 2014, 05:25:39 am »

Well, what did you "do to yourself?" You love someone and had sex with them; the same thing millions of people do on a daily basis. In other words, you were acting like a normal human! It's not like you wished HIV on yourself. I do understand feeling like this, and it will get better with time.

There should be a local Aids service organization in your area, or close (hopefully). Ask your HIV specialist. Then get a hold of them to get someone you can communicate with about this, that would be helpful. And also express your concerns about sharing your status with your mother. Being that she is a nurse she should understand; however I realize that sometimes even people in the health profession, who should be the least judgmental, are judgmental.

However, I do not know your mother and it could be she may be over concerned at first, then calm down and just be supportive. Sometimes I think we imagine the worst because we don't want to feel like we failed people.

If you get to the point you're having an extremely difficult time dealing, you could get into therapy. I was in therapy for quite a while after being diagnosed.

We're here. Keep talking.

Betty

newbie92 · « **Reply #5 on:** June 08, 2014, 09:42:47 am »

Thanks so much for all your help! Maybe I should try some support groups. I just feel like I'm the only person in the world that's going through this at such a young age (21). I just want to live a long life.

BT65 · « **Reply #6 on:** June 09, 2014, 05:58:08 am »

There's no reason why you cannot live a long life. Just get regular medical care and monitoring.

Please get a hold of the ASO (Aids service organization). They should be able to either point you to a good support group, or a good therapist. I do not know where you are, but I'm sure whether or not there are support groups will depend on the area you live in.

Where I live we just started a support group in the past few months, for women. There are only 3 of us so far, but we are hoping it will grow in the future. It always helps to talk with others in similar situations.

Meanwhile, we're still here!

Betty

newbie92 · « **Reply #7 on:** June 09, 2014, 02:06:34 pm »

I think I eat pretty healthy. I just don't want this to be a burden on me. I want to go back to normal. I don't want to look over my shoulder every given moment.

BT65 · « **Reply #8 on:** June 09, 2014, 03:51:13 pm »

Quote from: newbie92 on June 09, 2014, 02:06:34 pm

I think I eat pretty healthy. I just don't want this to be a burden on me. I want to go back to normal. I don't want to look over my shoulder every given moment.

Don't worry, you'll get to the point where you don't even think about it. You'll just take your med(s) and get on with the day, with whatever is "normal" for you, which for me, changes daily.

emeraldize · « **Reply #9 on:** June 10, 2014, 06:35:43 am »

Hi Newbie92

I agree with everything Betty has posted.

You and I have something in common. My mom is nurse, too.

Regrettably, I waited a long time to tell her because I didn't want to add stress to her life. She was dealing with a serious health issue at the time.

When I finally did, she said " Why did you wait so long to tell me? "

As Betty noted, nurses by their very training understand disease transmission.

When you finally decide to share this with her, you will be supported in that way only a mom can offer. A nurse mom ? All the better. I am biased and lucky as she is smart, logical, and non-judgmental. We rarely have cause to speak of it---years since we've discussed it. I take my meds, she takes hers. When, if, it's relevant as a topic I know she'll listen calmly. I hope to face my life half as bravely as she has faced hers.

Life, lovingly, goes on.

Em

newbie92 · « **Reply #10 on:** June 10, 2014, 09:14:17 am »

Betty: Thanks for all your advice! I know I have to give it some time. I know things have changed a lot since the 90's so I am thankful for the advanced medicine.

Em: Thanks for that! I guess I want to wait until I have accepted it and I know I haven't. I find my subconscious bothering me at night sometimes. I want to wake up and just not even realize that I have HIV. That's when I'll be ready to disclose it.

emeraldize · « **Reply #11 on:** June 10, 2014, 07:34:19 pm »

You are but three months in and you're gonna figure out your path, confidantes and get on with your career. Hurry up will ya. There are a lot of us oldsters who will need your medical expertise !!

newbie92 · « **Reply #12 on:** June 11, 2014, 09:28:26 am »

Thank you so much Em! I appreciate that. That really made me feel better. I know it's not the end of my life.

Sweet_C · « **Reply #13 on:** June 12, 2014, 09:21:33 pm »

I agree with everyone that very soon you will get to the point where you don't even think about your HIV status. I didn't believe it when I was first diagnosed but in a few months the fact I was poz only came into my mind only occasionally.

You are very young and HIV will not stop you from achieving all of your goals. I've been able to do everything I've wanted to do since finding out.

newbie92 · « **Reply #14 on:** June 16, 2014, 12:39:05 am »

Sweet: Thanks for that! I can't wait to get to that point!

TabooPrincess · « **Reply #15 on:** June 24, 2014, 03:19:21 pm »

Yeh, Sweet's right - I go months without thinking about it. I chuck those meds down every night just out of habit, no thought goes along with it. You'll get there. I can't honestly say my health has changed in 6 years. I get thrush a bit more and feel tired a bit more but Hell I'm no spring chicken anymore and I'm running around after a 4 year old so this could have happened anyway!

newbie92 · « **Reply #16 on:** June 29, 2014, 03:10:39 am »

I just feel so disappointed in myself. I wish I could've made better decisions.

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Author Topic: New Here and Would Like Some Advice (Read 8761 times)