POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: aupointillimite on March 29, 2007, 08:36:13 pm
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Because I think I have it. For real.
The burning. The buuuuuuuuuuurning!
I'm gonna be the first kid on my block to collect every STD ever.
I can now say "yearning... followed by burning when you make pee-pee" and mean it.
Perhaps an appointment at the Free Clinic would be in order. I am making one tomorrow.
A curable STD. What a novel concept.
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Because I think I have it. For real.
The burning. The buuuuuuuuuuurning!
I'm gonna be the first kid on my block to collect every STD ever.
I can now say "yearning... followed by burning when you make pee-pee" and mean it.
Perhaps an appointment at the Free Clinic would be in order. I am making one tomorrow.
A curable STD. What a novel concept.
I hope you didn't mention this during your recent interview. ;)
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Gonorrhoea, darling.
And remember you could also have everyone's favourite chlamydia. Or both!
MtD
(Who has had the lot more than once)
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I hope you didn't mention this during your recent interview. ;)
Oh, I did.
Repeatedly.
I said my cock felt like a Coney Island Red Hot when I take a piss. :D
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Ouch. Me too. I let Millker milk me the other day, and I can't stop the burning. I have been pissing fire and brimstone ever since.
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Gonorrhoea, darling.
And remember you could also have everyone's favourite chlamydia. Or both!
MtD
(Who has had the lot more than once)
I don't need your crazy Australian spellings! :D
Both would be awesome, though.
Two birds. One stone.
Benj
(Who seems to recall that chlamydia is not a flower.)
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A curable STD. What a novel concept.
Really. How Junior Varsity it all seems by comparison.
Circle, circle...dot, dot....
EDITED TO SAY: Benj has cooties.
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My personal fave (outside of syphilis) was having ano-rectal gonorrhoea.
Oh how we laughed!
MtD
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How do you know it is gonorrhea ? Have you had it before?
Actually I have only had the aids and the crabs.
rob
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How do you know it is gonorrhea ? Have you had it before?
Actually I have only had the aids and the crabs.
rob
rookie
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How do you know it is gonorrhea ?
Benj has all the proper symptoms.
Yes.
I'm now gonna tell everyone that I have a Punk Rock Cock.
Because I do.
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Really. How Junior Varsity it all seems by comparison.
Circle, circle...dot, dot....
EDITED TO SAY: Benj has cooties.
I just talked to my friend Jennie.
She has herpes.
Her husband has herpes.
I have HIV. And now the clap.
So... we're gonna write a song about STDs for our band. It'll probably be called, "I'm In It For The Dicks."
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Do you have filthy green puss coming out of your piss slit so much that your underwear adheres to your cock head?
Been there, done that. And what was worse is I got it by being a TOP... oh, the agony. But hey, at least I caught mine from a famous porn star in the late 90's. VERY Studio 54 of me.
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Do you have filthy green puss coming out of your piss slit so much that your underwear adheres to your cock head?
Been there, done that. And what was worse is I got it by being a TOP... oh, the agony. But hey, at least I caught mine from a famous porn star in the late 90's. VERY Studio 54 of me.
I'm not at that point yet.
But my piss feels like it's made of lava. I'm calling my genitals Mount Etna until this is over.
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Ouch. Me too. I let Millker milk me the other day, and I can't stop the burning. I have been pissing fire and brimstone ever since.
Milker doesn't have bozorea. Milker enjoys pissing so far.
Milker.
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wait until your dick sticks to your underwear from the sticky discharge. oooh so fun,
notthatiwouldknowaboutthat
good times.
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Hey Benji,
You've gotta get the test done to know for sure. As the other mansluts have pointed out, symptomatic gono usually has a lucious creamy pus discharge. Chlamydia is more famous for it's clear watery ooze.
You never know, you may just have plain old vanilla NSU. :-*
MtD
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I'm not at that point yet.
But my piss feels like it's made of lava. I'm calling my genitals Mount Etna until this is over.
You won't be laughing tomorrow young lady when they are jabbing your pee-hole with a rough government issued cotton swab.
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Hey Benji,
You've gotta get the test done to know for sure. As the other mansluts have pointed out, symptomatic gono usually has a lucious creamy pus discharge. Chlamydia is more famous for it's clear watery ooze.
You never know, you may just have plain old vanilla NSU. :-*
NSU? Non specific urethitis? That sounds pussy and very un-punk rock.
If I don't have the clap, I'll be very disappointed.
This means I'll need to go out and get it to have that notch in my belt.
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You won't be laughing tomorrow young lady when they are jabbing your pee-hole with a rough goverment issued cotton swab.
Been there. Done that.
All that went through my head was Diane Keaton from Annie Hall saying, "Lah dee dah... lah dee dah." Then I sort of laughed, and the doctor asked me what I thought was so funny. I think I muttered something about "PoMo medical absurdity."
It felt appropriate.
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My personal fave (outside of syphilis) was having ano-rectal gonorrhoea.
Oh how we laughed!
MtD
As a good little bottom, I've only ever had it up my butt and/or down my throat. Icky stuff.
The word, gonnorhoea, comes from the greek; gonos 'offspring/seed', rhoia 'a flow' ;D
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I told my doctor when I first started seeing him to test me for everything, each and every office visit. He doesn't even test for gonnorrhea and stuff anymore, except in routine bloodwork. If I come in and tell him I might have been exposed, I get the requisite drugs jammed in my ass, no questions and no Q-Tips.
Jonathan
(who is way more skanky than he appears online. Its the quiet ones)
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I told my doctor when I first started seeing him to test me for everything, each and every office visit. He doesn't even test for gonnorrhea and stuff anymore, except in routine bloodwork. If I come in and tell him I might have been exposed, I get the requisite drugs jammed in my ass, no questions and no Q-Tips.
Jonathan
(who is way more skanky than he appears online. Its the quiet ones)
Damn, he doesn't even have the common courtesy to give you a reach-around.
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Man, you guys rock.
If I was, conceivably, feeling bad about this (which I'm not... I find this to be more hilarious than anything else), I'd feel like I was in much better company now.
As it is, you've only helped me laugh even more about this than I have over the past couple of days.
Which is awesome.
Never say I don't have a healthily twisted outlook on the potential fun that is VD.
Watch this. And learn something.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gKi5kv7MwPg
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These days in Oz, the "swab-down-your-peeny" days are behind us. We get to wee in a jar. You still get swabbed in the throat and up the pooper though.
MtD
(Who is well known down the all-night pox shop)
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As a good little bottom, I've only ever had it up my butt and/or down my throat. Icky stuff.
The word, gonnorhoea, comes from the greek; gonos 'offspring/seed', rhoia 'a flow' ;D
Shirley Q Liquor calls it "Gone arear"
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Don't wait too long dear, you would hate to have to remove your Aiden Shaws with a paint scraper.
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o noes! NOT THE SHAWS!!!
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If I got clap drip on Aiden Shaw's underroos...
Wow.
I might possibly be the coolest person ev-ar.
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this thread brings back painful memories of the past....
(more than one painful memory)
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You people are FUCKING TWISTED!
I KNEW i felt at home!
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Sigh .. the clap .. !
A couple of Cipro's and you'll be good to go ..
Where was that condom young man !
BTW, and how did you catch it ? Probably a dirty toilet seat. See those public restrooms are dangerous.
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Sigh .. the clap .. !
A couple of Cipro's and you'll be good to go ..
Where was that condom young man !
BTW, and how did you catch it ? Probably a dirty toilet seat. See those public restrooms are dangerous.
I got it from God.
It was an immaculate infection.
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Told you God doesnt like you. And this PROVES it!!!
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I got it from God.
It was an immaculate infection.
Thank GOD you have Gonorrhea! You can add yourself to the http://www.thankgodi.com/ (http://www.thankgodi.com/) list!!!
Milker.
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I got it from God.
It was an immaculate infection.
Great .. another religion is born ..
Benjie has started his own cult .. "Our Lady of the Clap..."
Clap On .. Clap Off ..
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Told you God doesnt like you. And this PROVES it!!!
When I was 18 and lived considerably closer to DC than I do now, my friends and I (for lack of anything better to do) would go up there for pride rallies to make fun of people, art museums to make fun of people, or the Fourth of July to make fun of people.
There were always scads and oodles of crazy Christians handing out pamphlets.
Crazy Christian: Would you like a pamphlet?
Me: No, thank you. I don't trust any religion that can be explained in less than
two hundred words. And besides... God doesn't love me.
CC: If you read this, you'll learn that He does.
Me: No, He doesn't. I got a call from Him last night. It's totally over.
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this thread brings back painful memories of the past....
(more than one painful memory)
Like Bill Clinton, I feel your pain.
Acutely.
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You ladies are soooooo crazy.. I feel like I am not slutty enough to even participate in this thread because I only have AIDS...
AL
(who always feels like an outsider and can not compete with the other sluts)
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You ladies are soooooo crazy.. I feel like I am not slutty enough to even participate in this thread because I only have AIDS...
AL
(who always feels like an outsider and can not compete with the other sluts)
I like to think I transcend sluttiness and arrive at something called "cuteness."
It's my only hope.
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I got a phone call this afternoon around 2:30, just as I was about to get in the shower. It went something like this:
Bucko looks at his phone, sees Benj's name on the Caller ID. Running water for shower in background
Bucko: Hola, darling. I'm almost in the shower. What's new?
Benj: You'd know this you old whore. How does it feel when you get the clap? Does it burn when you pee AND when you cum?
Bo: Yeah, it hurts for both...any gooey discharge yet?
Bj: Not yet, but it really hurts to pee...and cumming was excruciating!
Bj & Bo laugh uproariously
Bo: You got something, babe. get ready for the Q-Tip. <shudders>
Bj: Oh that doesn't bother me so much, do you think...
Bo: Hate to cut you off, babe, but I gotta run in the shower. Love ya-
Bj: OK...bye!
Bucko turns up music on computer, climbs in shower, laughs uncontrollably again
FADE TO BLACK
Brent
(Who knew all before you Poxy Doxies did)
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FADE TO BLACK
Brent
(Who knew all before you Poxy Doxies did)
Bravo!!! BRavo!!!! Clap clap clap!!!! :D :D :D
Milker.
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It was the best burning while peeing phone conversation ever.
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Thank the good Lord you all are here; you bring a smile to my face every time.
Benj, Just wait till you get syphilis in your right eye....... Yes it was a good weekend, back about 22 years ago, and yes he was worth every bit of it. I nearly went blind from that little escapade.
You'll do fine young man!
Love,
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(http://ca.geocities.com/aimeerochard/asshat.jpg)
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You ladies are soooooo crazy.. I feel like I am not slutty enough to even participate in this thread because I only have AIDS...
Only AIDS, what a lightweight :D
My personal favourite is crabs. Its like having an STD and new pets. Here crabbie crabbie...
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"My personal favourite is crabs. Its like having an STD and new pets. Here crabbie crabbie..."
Maybe this should be moved to the "Am I Infested" forum.........
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Only AIDS, what a lightweight :D
My personal favourite is crabs. Its like having an STD and new pets. Here crabbie crabbie...
I had crabs a couple years ago.
That was fun.
I gave them all cute little names.
Like Hitler, Feltch, Cumquat, Rapeseed, and Mr. Peanut. I also named one Glenn Danzig.
My boyfriend and I decided to forgo the "nitpicking" and opted to shave our entire bodies from our chests to our knees.
The itching that ensued within three days made the crabs seem like a glorious Utopian dream.
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I had crabs a couple years ago.
That was fun.
I gave them all cute little names.
Like Hitler, Feltch, Cumquat, Rapeseed, and Mr. Peanut. I also named one Glenn Danzig.
My boyfriend and I decided to forgo the "nitpicking" and opted to shave our entire bodies from our chests to our knees.
The itching that ensued within three days made the crabs seem like a glorious Utopian dream.
I'm rather amazed that I have never had crotch critters yet. AIDS and syph, but nothing else.
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I'm rather amazed that I have never had crotch critters yet. AIDS and syph, but nothing else.
Clearly, you're not slutty enough.
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Clearly, you're not slutty enough.
I am! I am! I swear I am slutty enough! That's the amazing part.
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I had crabs and they were apparently very calm because I didn't notice until I got the email from that guy "Thanks for the gift, dumbass". Looking down I finally saw a colony of inhabitants that I never suspected. Nice neighbors, didn't bother me at all. I tried the topical lotion, but all I got was a revolt, my crotch got on fire, and I decided to shave. After I shaved it looked so ridiculous that I was wondering if there were crotch toupets that I could use temporarily ;D ;D ;D ;D I'm with aupoint about the itching during the growing back.... not pleasant, not pleasant!
Milker.
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I had crabs once and didn't even have any fun getting them! It was during my college years and we had a party with several people who stayed overnight. A friend of my roommate slept in my bed with me rather then being on the floor. No sex, just sleep. Well he left several tiny thank you gifts. I was really pissed off at the time.
"Now many of you may know that Sheena Easton has a pet lobster from her hit song "The Lobster in Me" but what you may not know is that Sheena also has crabs!" ;D - Julie Brown
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i mistook you for a bottom. my bad :P
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i mistook you for a bottom. my bad :P
Variety is the spice of life.
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so did you go to the doctor to get the tube you like so much shoved up your 8=======D ????lol
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After I shaved it looked so ridiculous that I was wondering if there were crotch toupets that I could use temporarily
Such a product is available. It's known as a "merkin".
MtD
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Oh hell, I completely forgot about crabs, because with my hairy body, they don't even have to be within the same neighborhood to find my ass. Yeeech, A 200 was just part of my shower ritual.
Oh the days of whoredom. All I can say is that it was fun, even with the crotch troope.
Love,
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After I shaved it looked so ridiculous that I was wondering if there were crotch toupets that I could use temporarily
Such a product is available. It's known as a "merkin".
MtD
Oh yeah.. i'd look FANTASTIC with this !!
(http://jafproject.net/images2/merkin.jpg)
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Oh yeah.. i'd look FANTASTIC with this !!
Every little bit helps, dear. ;)
MtD
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Yes thats a merkin...but was designed for ladies after their hair fell out after the liberal applicationof arsenic powder to make those regions seem paler!, maybe we should call that specific specimen a milker? ;D
And doesn't match your...eyes from what you've said matt
xxxx
And that infection is spelled, oh shit, antibiotics andthrush again! ;D
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Yes thats a merkin...but was designed for ladies after their hair fell out after the liberal applicationof arsenic powder to make those regions seem paler!, maybe we should call that specific specimen a milker? ;D
And doesn't match your...eyes from what you've said matt
xxxx
And that infection is spelled, oh shit, antibiotics andthrush again! ;D
Welll I was hoping for one made by Matty the Damned. The ones made by Aupoint have been recalled.
Milker.
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Buy a Benj Merkin.
Guaranteed to warm your public region on cold winter nights.
Only $19.95 plus shipping and handling.
And the crabs are free!
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Buy a Benj Merkin.
Guaranteed to warm your public region on cold winter nights.
Only $19.95 plus shipping and handling.
And the crabs are free!
Only $19.95...are you jerkin my merkin?
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Only $19.95...are you jerkin my merkin?
You know you just gave me a new song title, right?
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I suppose by now you have seen a doctor.....?
Anyway, symptoms ,as we all know, often mean shit. Unless you have the pussy greeish discharge along with the painful urination....it may not be the clap. I have had both the clap...and a non-specific urinary tract infection. Althouh they kind of feel the same they aren't the same. Still need anti biotics tho I guess, but also need a doc.
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I just took the zithromax... and I feel somewhat icky.
Up next... one Cipro, and this will all be a hilarious memory in the mists of time.
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....but like an unholy divining rod your penis will certainly lead you back to the murky shores of Lake Clap.
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....but like an unholy divining rod your penis will certainly lead you back to the murky shores of Lake Clap.
I do find myself drawn to those unknown spots on the map that are marked as only, "Here there be VD."
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crotch toupets! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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Oh... can I just say that it's really annoying to go out and get sort of hit on by some hot trade... not one but two... and I can't hit it because of the Happy Fluffy Super Fun Bug.
It's like they can smell the fact I can't, in good conscience, do anything... so they throw out the possibility of pipe dream dick.
Stupid, stupid Happy Fluffy Super Fun Bug.
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I hope you didn't mention this during your recent interview. ;)
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NSU? Non specific urethitis? That sounds pussy and very un-punk rock...
Yep, I've had NSU too. All I could think of was looking down at the one-eyed snake and saying " I'm not sure I'm understanding you, could you be more specific" ;)
BTW this thread has totally turned me off sexual contact of any kind.