POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Positive Women => Topic started by: Dragonette on April 28, 2007, 09:11:35 am
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Hello ladies,
I was wondering what is your take on having protected vaginal sex during menustration with a negative partner. The councellor told me and my BF to avoid all sexual activities during menustration. I am undetectable but she said that the blood coming from the womb is not the same as the blood in the bloodstream and can have a higher VL and therefore is better to avoid. She also vetoed him giving me external oral sex while I am wearing a tampon. The result is the even when he touches me during menustration I feel nervous about transmittion. What do you think?
Thanks............
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I have not had my period since finding out I was poz because I am pregnant. I would imagine that you should be careful when the flow is heavy because well it can get messy. Lets face it. However my dr. recommended trying the instead cups during this time for at least a few hours before sex and use a condom. The instead cup catches the flow pretty well when I have used it in the past for modeling.
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I have never heard of the instead up, momoftwo, what it that?
Sex during menstruation is risky, protected or not. But I guess if you must, then definitely use protection! (I'm just jealous because I'm not getting any! :D).
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Thank you. Guess I can keep holding off for a week a month... ;)
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I would think it would be riskier to have sex during the time of your period because of the blood like your doctor said. I am wondering how you could have sex during that time, being so messy and all. I guess it's a matter of choice, not knocking you or anything, just saying.....Ewwwwwww
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I wouldn't have sex when there is a heavy flow (at this time I am also in pain), but the period kind of drags on and you get to a point when there is very little, dilluted blood, that kind of comes and goes (to the point that I don't need to wear a tampon anymore but just a thin panty liner). Also my period comes in "spurts", there can be hours a day without any or little blood, then a big flow. When there is the buildup of the flow I am horny [I must admit; this is a women's forum after all], as well as irritated, edgy and half crazy but that's another topic ;)
Anyway I wouldn't put my BF (or anyone for that matter) at an additional risk so like I said I will just hold on to the end
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Ah ok, so you wait til you are basically spotting. I am glad you chose to wait it out. Just think how horny you will be by then... ;) Glad I don't get periods at the moment. I am on the depo shot. My periods use to be very heavy from day 2 to 14, yep, I would go that long. And you don't even want to talk about the mood swings and the cramps. The depo shot has made me a nicer person to be around.... ;D
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did you know that prostitutes around here if they dont want to lose a nights wages they stick a wad of cotton wool or a tampon up there when they are having their period - and the johns dont even know...
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Ok, not sure but have you been tested for fibroids, or other female problems in regards to why your period seems to drag and come in spurts? There may be something else going on and if so you may need to treat, or it may just be your system if that is the case than I hope you have a good idea of when your period is coming, so that you can have sex, sex, sex, and more sex before red dragon makes her appearance, if you are not sure than make calander notations of the days you do get your period, spurts or otherwise you should start to see a pattern.
My 15 yr old daughter has irregular periods(which caused her a lot of embarrasment) she would just get it without warning and have well you know accidents. Doctor suggested calendaring her periods, spurts and all and we began to see a pattern! We calendared for three months, maybe this will work for you and your BF and you can have satisfy yourselves b4 and wait until after!
Have fun!
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This is my take on it. If you are bleeding Yes there is a higher percentage of transmitting to your partner. And it sounds like you do not want to put your BF in harms way, so how about thinking outside the box.....if you are horny and bleeding have him use a dildo on you I would reccomend the rabbit!!! or other things as you play with yourself as he plays with himself. Just on those questionable days, you never know you just may enjoy it. Also I am not sure if you are interested in having children, but if not they can do a procedure called oblation of the endometrial linning. I had it Done in 11/05 and have not had a period since and I love it. I hope this helps you and wish you all the best sex in the world but safe. Much Love Rachel
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I never have sex during menstruation because of my heavy flow and feeling like crap (it is heavy the whole time, but at the beginning I go through one super plus absorbancy tampon ever 1-1 1/2 hour and wear a pad as well, at the end it eases up a bit). I know that it is riskier during menstruation, protected or not, so if you did it, I would wait until it is a much lighter flow. I also would suggest that you talk to your partner. What does he feel comfortable with? Especially if you have an undetectable viral load, the risk does lower somewhat, but as always with any risk, I think what you should discuss what you are both comfortable with. For example, some magnetic couples will have unprotected oral, but protected intercourse. Others are totally protected all the time. If he nixes the idea of sex, there are always other ways to sexually pleasure each other if you get horny without actually having intercourse.
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OK ladies u're starting to scare me now. not to hijack this thread but i had sex with my BF while i was on. i had just started so it wasnt heavy and i was wearing a tampon and there wasnt even anything on the condom. i'm starting to get nervous here. i had told him over and over and over that i was on and he said it was ok he was protected.
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^There are several factors that play into what the risk is, but the risk isn't extremely huge. However, it is all relative to how much risk you are comfortable with.
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thanks for the additional input I am just having it again... Tendai i wouldnt wear a tampon for sex it can be quite dangerous (not from a HIV POV) it can get stuck, you can have it break into bits that stay in and might cause an infection... just a thought
Have a great weekend and hugs
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However my dr. recommended trying the instead cups during this time for at least a few hours before sex and use a condom. The instead cup catches the flow pretty well when I have used it in the past for modeling.
I think momoftwo may have been referring to using a diaphragm to catch the flow? Even still, I personally wouldn't have intercourse while on my period just because I'd be uncomfortable, and if a condom did break, there would be higher risk. Even with a diaphragm AND a condom, its just not worth the risk to me. I would be so paranoid I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself, lol!
Cindy
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They are actually called Instead. They are cups that catch the flow of your period and are good for up to 12 hours I believe. I haven't tried them yet, but am curious to see if these are better than using tampons.
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thanks for the additional input I am just having it again... Tendai i wouldnt wear a tampon for sex it can be quite dangerous (not from a HIV POV) it can get stuck, you can have it break into bits that stay in and might cause an infection... just a thought
Have a great weekend and hugs
I second that. I've only actually had sex a couple times when I was still having a period and I actually felt well enough. One of the times I forgot all about my tampon. Let's just say it can get pushed way up in there. Luckily I had sort of an epiphany that I had it in before it could do much damage. I had to have assistance in getting it out, though.....
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Ladies, just to put your minds at rest, a condom still prevents hiv infection when you're on your period. As long as the condom is being used correctly, it shouldn't break. Check out all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can make sure your fella is using them correctly.
Ann
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Wow, didn't know there was an alternative to the tampon, did I read correctly it's called, "Instead?"
Also, having sex with a period is a personal choice light or not, I prefer not to because it's just too messy for me, as I said b4 time your periods so you can have sex b4 and not during.
Continue having great sex and be careful
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Nunii,
Yes, it's called "Instead". In fact, I didn't find it at my grocery store next to tampons and kotex, I found it with the sanitary wipes (of all places) so I didn't even know it existed until I ran across it.
I think I'm going to give it a try on my vacation. I'm going out of town with my boyfriend, and my period is due during that week (poor timing!). We will see!!
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IzPoz please let me know how it works going away on the 27th with my bf and am due that wk.
nunii
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Hello ladies;
for those of you curious about Instead, I actually got my period earlier than expected, tried them and they worked pretty good, was a little tricky at first because you have to push them down to prevent leakage but after I got it in correctly I forgot I was using it, but for the cramps I had absolutely no spotting, or leakage.
Also, like the fact that there are no chemicals involved and the chances of Toxic Shock Syndrome are a lot lower than with a Tampon.