So nervous that I puke

[biboy88]

Hello.

I have read a lot in this forum, and have found many questions and answers that has been very useful. Thank you for the incredible work you guys are doing.

I’m 25 years old, and have an enormous fear of getting HIV. I will start treatment for this fear after New Year, but until than I have to deal with stuff myself.

Here is the deal:

A week ago I met a guy for sex. We had talked online for a little while, and he said he was HIV-negative. He was going to fuck me, but never entered me properly. On the second try he was probably ½ - 1 inch inside me before I pulled away.

He was using a condom the whole time, both when he was pushing his penis against my rectum, and when he was ½ - 1 inch inside.

My concern is, if he would have tried to put the condom on the wrong way first, and than turned it around and put it on the correct way, and precum got on the tip of the condom, can I have been infected by this, if he is positive? To clarify, I have no idea if he tried to put it on the wrong way first, I’m just thinking IF he did.

I also do have a hemorrhoid about ½ inch inside my rectum, that is bleeding from one time to another.

I am aware of that the only sexual way HIV transmits, is unprotected anal og vaginal intercourse. I also know that the HIV in precum looses its ability to transmit when its outside of the body. But for how long does it have to be outside? Is there a SLIGHT chance that if there was precum on the tip of the condom, it could infect me when he was 1 inch inside me?

I know I am obsessing more than I need about this, but would really appreciate the meanings and opinions of the professionals here.

Thank you so much!   

[Ann]

biboy,

You certainly ARE over-thinking and obsessing over this NO RISK situation.

You've obviously already read about how fragile hiv is and how it is only transmitted in very specific situations. You need to start believing it. There's no way it would remain viable if the scenario you're imagining happened.

In over twelve years of answering questions on this forum - and plenty have been about starting to put a condom on the wrong way - not one person has ever tested positive because of it. You're not going to be the first.

If you're sexually active, you should be having a FULL sexual health check up at least once a year, or twice if you're very active with several partners. It's what responsible adult do to protect their health and that of their partners.

So the bottom line for you is - if you cannot bring yourself to believe us when we say such a thing isn't a risk, go test and collect your negative result. As I said, you should be testing regularly as a matter of routine anyway.

Ann

[biboy88]

Thank you very much, Ann!
Right now I am so happy that I am crying. Even though I am quite well read about HIV, I get silly nervous and make up silly scenarios in my head after a safe sexual encounter.

I appreciate that you reply with a "not standardized"  answer, as this helps me to calm down. I always get tested after sex, so I will not have sex for 3 months now, and get tested at the 3 month mark.

Once again, thank you! I can not tell you how grateful I am!

Have a great day!

[biboy88]

I got a very good answer yesterday, and I am much calmer than I was earlier. But still I cant help to think that there is a slight chance to be infected by precum on the tip of a condom?

[Ann]

biboy,

So the bottom line for you is - if you cannot bring yourself to believe us when we say such a thing isn't a risk, go test and collect your negative result. As I said, you should be testing regularly as a matter of routine anyway.

Ann

[biboy88]

Hello again Ann (and all the others).

I am absolutely going to get a test (and hopefully collect a negative result).
But until than, I cannot help but to worry. I'm crying and loosing sleep and energy over worrying about this. You guys are the only one I can ask and talk about this to, so therefore I appreciate your responses enormously.   

I have been reading a lot of different forums, some professional, and some shady. Most of them say that there is no risk, or very minimal. However a few of them say that there is a real risk, and this is what is worrying me.

Do you have an estimate of how long it would take to make the pre-cum not viable (in fresh air) after leaving its host?

Does the outside of an condom have a "sperm killing gel" or something, that would also kill the HIV?

Thank you again, and sorry about my poor formulations.

[Jeff G]

Its not that we don't care , its a case of we have have done all we can for you . It all comes down to the fact that you didn't have a risk NO RISK . Our answer isn't going to change so if you are uneasy read this thread again and take the advice you have been offered . You are worrying yourself sick over nothing . 

[biboy88]

Thanks Jeff!
I know that I am worrying myself over nothing, but I cant help it. I have a great fear of this, and all the different opinions in forums and on different webpages are making me so confused. I do believe you when you say that its a "no risk situation", but still I cant seem to calm down, and it is really hard on me.

I know that you care, and I also understand that you need to use your energy on people who have been in situations where there is more risk.

I've been reading this thread probably 80-100 times to calm down, and it does help.
I understand that your answers are not going to change. It just feels good that more of you agree

[Jeff G]

We use the latest peer reviewed science when we do assessments and do not comment on what others say .

I am a bottom line kind of guy when I deal with these things and I have to be honest with you and say that you most likely have an HIV phobia and there is not one thing we can do at this point except tough love . Use this as a wake up call that you need to get counseling or therapy for your fears . I'm going to issue you a warning , take it as a sign you need to get some help outside this forum . We cant go endless rounds with no risk situations , its not good for you or us . Best . 

[biboy88]

Thank you Jeff.

Yes, I do have an HIV phobia, and I'm going to start therapy for this after New Year. I just scheduled an emergency sessions for tomorrow, with a sexologist and therapist.

I do not mean to hassle you about this, and will quit asking about this. I again want to thank both you and Ann for your replies, and thank all of you that's working with forum for the great work you are doing.



 

[Jeff G]

You are welcome , best of luck .