Risk over cunnilingus

[Happened]

Dear all,
I am really glad I found this forum - seems to be ran by really educated and kind persons.
For past days I've been reading through the posts and I assume I already know what the answers are going to be. But as I do not really have anyone I could share my worry with I hoped to get some assurance from here.

10 days ago while on business trip, me and my colleague decided to get some company. We ordered a working girl for 2 of us. As we had to wait quite a long (in one point I thought she is not coming at all) we had quite a few drinks. Over few hours, I managed to get pretty drunk and even fell asleep.

But then the girl came and we decided that I go first. My friend asked if she has condoms with her just to be safe. Of course she had, she seemed to be very cautions.

All good so far but as I mentioned we got some drinks and I was pretty toxicated already. first she performed oral sex on me protected and we continued vaginal sex protected. I was not fully erect so the whole thing was complicated as I could not really penetrate her. In one point I gave up and started to kiss and finger her. I assume I did it for a good 10 minutes. In one point I decided to go down on her and she did not refuse. I think I had 2 sessions of cunnilingus on her, both for 5 minutes. Well I wanted her to feel well too so I gave my best (should have asked some money back for service provided to her huh ? )

Then in one point i decided to try vaginal sex again but the same thing happened - I could not go in fully as I was not erect enough. You know what happens - your ar pushing but you get in only 4-5 cm and penis is folding against your stomach. I gave up after few minutes again.

Then I decided to remove condom and hoped for oral sex but she refused (good girl).

I would be happy if all ended there but then my memory started to play tricks on me. Directly saying I do not recall exactly what happened then. I think we were just kissing and I might have fingered her and that's it. BUT now my mind is in WHAT IF loop.
I cannot stop thinking that if I tried to penetrate her without condom. I know it sounds silly to think like that because I know the risks and would not do that BUT if you cannot exactly remember then your mind goes wild.
SO here I go - what if I tried to penetrate her with my flaccid penis - probably would have gotten my penis head in only for few moments. I definately could not penetrate her but what if I tried? I am sure the girl would not allowed this to happen but still.

Anyway I was quite worried in the morning and asked my friend about such possibility. He said that I should not worry because the girl was really insisting of using condom. as my friend was next, she asked him to put on condom first and when my friend did not manage to do it and dropped the condom, the girl asked to use new condom.

Just to sum up. Based on other posts, performing cunnilingus, is not a risk?
Such a short penetration without a condom (which I think did not happen at all) would be a risk?
Just based on my and my friend's observations, the girl was really cautious insisting on using condoms (even when performing oral to me) and therefore really trying to protect herself - I would say she would not dolorate any improper behaviour from my side.

I was now reading my post over again and it sounds pretty silly and I could not even imagine what kind of answer I am expecting from you. But I feel already reliefed by typing this and I think nothing which would put me under real risk, happened.
Nevertheless your risk assesment would be higly appriciated

[jkinatl2]

Nothing you mention or describe sounds like an HIV concern.

[Andy Velez]

For future reference, you need to know that the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as you consistently use condoms for those activities you will be effectively protected against HIV.

[Happened]

Jk, Andy, thanks a lot. I will keep on using condoms but first of all, i will give my best to avoid one time intercourse. As it has happened few times in my life i am sure i can keep it under control.

[Ann]

Happened,

I agree with Andy and JK - you haven't had a risk. Cunnilingus is not a risk and neither is protected intercourse. The sex worker insisted on condoms and I really doubt she would have let you try to penetrate her without one. Sex workers use condoms to protect themselves, not you, the customer. Stop worrying about it.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

For future reference, here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER THE SEX WORKER INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[Happened]

Dear all!
I managed to stay calm for 2 weeks but then anxiety got the best of me. Already a week after incident, I started to feel strange things in my throat. It feels that there is something stuck in my throat and I need to clear my throat all the time. The neck is quite stiff as well. On top of that some strange bumps appeared on my gums behind lower teeth. 2 bumps on the left and 2 on the right - seem to be quite in parallel. They are whitish, painless and very solid, bone alike. Of course I tried to be reasonable thinking that my gums might be inflamed (it happens time to time), especially because I smoked many cigars over the weekend.
I don't think it is STI either as I visited uro and as they do not do throat swabs, he prescribed me azitro in a large dose -just to be on safe side. And for syphilis which would require direct contact, I do not really see a possibility how could any of her body parts have reached gums behind my lower teeth.
And now I am fighting with HIV fear again. I am not sure if that is the symptom of ARS so I thought it is wise to ask from you.
BTW. I freaked out and ran for HIV test. It was 4th gen Ab/Ag Combo test done on day 23/24. It came out NEG.

[Ann]

Happened,

Neither symptoms nor even the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status. ONLY testing will.

If you continue to feel unwell or are worried about bumps in your mouth, keep working with your doctor and/or dentist to find out what, if anything, is going on. Whatever that may be, it isn't going to be hiv as you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days.

A six week negative (where there has been a risk - you have NOT had a risk) must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

You can consider your negative hiv test to be conclusive because you did NOT have a risk. You do not have hiv.

Ann

[Happened]

Ann, thank you so much, hard to find such a caring person nowadays. I admit I was  putting all my issues to one big pot which of course is wrong. Meanwhile after my post I visited dentist, had an x-ray done and it appears it is my jaw bone. I irritated gums by poking it and therefore they are bit swollen.

No more posts from me, all the best to AidsMeds team, keep up the good work!