A Question for Ann and Others

[bosendofer]

Hi all,

I know I am probably crazy right now. Please help me..

I massaged another man's feet at a party. No Sexual contact whatsover. No touching on the genitals either. I just took off his socks and massaged his feet for about 1-2 mintues.

Then I went for two tests: One Duo Test (4th generation) at 5 weeks; another Rapid Oraquick at 7 weeks. All NEGATIVE.

When I was trying to move on, my wife told me she has several red spots on her neck (might be due to the toxic chemicals from the renovation, she says).

I don't know what to do now.   I certainly do not plan to do the weekly tests through 12 weeks. Additional tests will just heighten my fear. I will just wait unti lthe 12/13 weesk. But what to do now?

I am a foriegn student alone in NYC. I don't know what place offers psychological support. I went to GMHC today and they refused to either test or counsel me based on my zero exposure.

Please guys, I know you are great.

[Matty the Damned]

Bose,

As you were told by the good people at GMHC, giving someone a foot rub is not a risk for HIV infection. Never has been never will be.

You do not need to be tested for HIV.

MtD

[Ann]

Bose,

There's really no excuse in the 21st century for thinking that simply touching an hiv positive person will end with you being hiv positive. Hiv is absolutely NOT transmitted through casual contact, including shaking hands or massaging feet. I get that you're a foreign student, but there's still no excuse.

You have NO reason to be afraid. You did not have a risk. You do not need further testing.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

You do NOT have hiv!

Ann

[bosendofer]

Thanks Matty

I know HIV might not be the issue here. However the massage event is a trauma for me. It wasn't very pleasant. It was a foot fetish party. I remember the guy was just sitting there , making out with another guy. I was just touched his feet and laid them down. I think he wasn't very happy about me putting down his feet without putting on his socks. So I guess in my mind the person became the "anonymous" stranger.   Anyway in my mind HIV is srigmatized in this manner. Plus it was Chelsea in NYC, a place of high HIV prevalence.

But I know for absolutely sure that nothing sexual ever happened. I haven't had sexual contact since 2005 from a major HIV phobia attack.

Am I making sense here??

[bosendofer]

Thanks Ann too!!!

I was just rambling about some deep cause before seeing your reply

[Ann]

Bose,

It doesn't matter that the party happened in what you perceive to be an area of high prevalence. You need to understand that it's not who you have sex - or casual contact - with or where they live or what they do for a living or any thing else along those lines. It's not who you do, it's HOW you do it.

I urge you to find a therapist who can help you with your hiv phobia. You are going to be coming into contact with hiv positive people pretty much every day of your life, especially living in a place like NYC where there are many people. There is no reason to live your life in such fear of hiv when hiv is not transmitted through normal, everyday contact.

Aside from sharing drug injecting equipment, the only proven risks for adults are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. And that's it. Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER A FOOT MASSAGE, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

[bosendofer]

Thanks for your comprehensive answer, Ann.

FYI, I was just tested twice since the Foot massage: 5 weeks after,  HIV DUO TEST
                                                                      7 weeks after,  Oraquick at a NYC STD clinic

Both NEGATIVE.

Can I move on now? I was originally planning to get a 8 weeks test, next week. Should I?

Another question: Can student insurance cover Therapist test?

Many thanks, guys!

[Ann]

Bose,

You do not need further testing. You did not need to test at all over this NO RISK incident.

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

You do NOT have hiv.

You'll have to ask the company who issues your student insurance as to whether or not they will pay for a therapist. Some college campuses have on-campus counselling available. Someone in Student Services should be able to answer your questions. You don't have to tell them why you want to see a therapist or counsellor, you only need to tell them you wish to speak with one.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

[bosendofer]

Thank you guys for your help! I am try now, very hard, to work on my anxiety. I have a counseling session scheduled for Thursday, at my own school. I hope it would work.

Part of the reason why I am so anxious is that I saw some posts in the "I just tested poz" forum, the posters of which say they don't remember having any risks. This made me fear as if anything could lead to HIV infection.

[RapidRod]

That is why you shouldn't have been in that forum, that forum doesn't concern you.

[Matty the Damned]

Bose,

IJTP is a forum for newly diagnosed people to share their experiences. Just because a person makes a claim in that forum about how they think they may have been infected doesn't make it so. We don't tend to challenge such claims because that is not the purpose of IJTP.

Please resist the urge to bring back things from IJTP (or any other forum)  to your thread here. It's called "trawling" and is frowned upon.

MtD