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Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: Peter Staley on December 16, 2006, 09:46:01 am

Title: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Peter Staley on December 16, 2006, 09:46:01 am

Some members of the forums have requested that we launch a forum for the friends, family and lovers of someone HIV+.  I'm open to this idea, but wanted to get a sense of the larger membership here.

Peter
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Cliff on December 16, 2006, 09:54:58 am
Why?  If those same individuals are welcome in the Living with HIV thread, then I don't see a reason for a separate forum.  Does this mean that ONLY people who are HIV positive can post in the Living with HIV, if this new forum is started?
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Nadine on December 16, 2006, 10:23:59 am
Being a person whom "Someone I Care About Has HIV" it doesn't matter to me either way, as long as I can still post in "Living With"
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: allopathicholistic on December 16, 2006, 10:28:56 am
voted "No"
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: ademas on December 16, 2006, 10:30:34 am
Quote from: Nadine on December 16, 2006, 10:23:59 am
Being a person whom "Someone I Care About Has HIV" it doesn't matter to me either way, as long as I can still post in "Living With"

I was thinking of you, Nadine, and a couple of others who post in "Living With" who are not infected, but very much affected, by HIV, and very much a part of the family here.

I change my vote from "don't care" to "NO!".
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Longislander on December 16, 2006, 10:37:19 am
I voted no because I'm not sure what the reason would be to exclude them? Or whether it involves exclusion at all...
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Peter Staley on December 16, 2006, 10:42:55 am
Quote from: Cliff on December 16, 2006, 09:54:58 am
Why?  If those same individuals are welcome in the Living with HIV thread, then I don't see a reason for a separate forum.  Does this mean that ONLY people who are HIV positive can post in the Living with HIV, if this new forum is started?

NO!  We wouldn't change a thing in this forum -- friends/family/lovers would still be welcome here.  This is just offering them a forum exclusively for their situations, and would help them find threads specific to their situations.  Let's face it, there aren't that many threads in Living with specific to their perspective (this is a very busy forum, and threads get pushed down quickly).  And because of the title, HIV- friends/family/lovers may not even know they are welcome here.

Peter
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: rayvjr on December 16, 2006, 10:54:11 am
I vote yes.  Our friends, families and lovers face issues of their own due to their relationships with those of us who are HIV positive.  I think it is a great idea to allow a forum for those issues to be addressed.  Good thinking.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 16, 2006, 11:06:41 am
I voted, "Yes"...as long as the "Living With HIV" remains as open as it has been.  I can see this new thread serving a valid function as a sister/subordinate thread to "Living".  I confess that it took me a few days on here to figure out that "Living " was open in scope to negative people impacted via loved ones.  I think it is worth the experiment...close it down in time if it doesn't seem to be a worthwhile addition. 
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: ACinKC on December 16, 2006, 11:09:59 am
I said no.  The more we divide ourselves the less cohesive we become.  VOTE  NO ON SEGREGATION!  Pretty soon it will be a forum for those that got HIV through drug use and one for sex and one for transfusions and one for my spouse gave it to me or WHATEVER.  We are all the same... we have threads within the forum that can address those who deem themselves a seperate subgroup.

Keep us together.....
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: AlanBama on December 16, 2006, 11:49:14 am
I voted no, but as long as they can still post in Living With, it really doesn't matter to me.   It might be helpful for them to have their own forum.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: woodshere on December 16, 2006, 12:03:46 pm
At first I was thinking no.  But then after reading Peter's comment I think it would be nice for those affected by HIV a specific thread.  It isn't segregation, it is offering yet another avenue to connect with someone.  And after all we are able to visit wherever we wish.

Woods
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Dan J. on December 16, 2006, 12:33:11 pm
I voted no. Don't see the point if they are allowed to post in Living With.

Just my 2 cents...
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: emeraldize on December 16, 2006, 12:38:40 pm
Voted Yes. It will soon be proven out whether such a forum's audience awaits. And, given there are no restrictions as to posting in "Living With" everyone of us stands to benefit. When I think of my family, relatives, friends and colleagues who know of my status, i can envision they might want to have a place they could post questions, concerns and encouragement or read the same posted by others. Early on, I was too preoccupied with what was happening to me to even have a clue as to the impact of the news on them. I learned from them it can be staggering, leaving them feeling helpless, uninformed and saddened. Further, I think it could be enlightening to all of us who are positive to have a chance to read their unfiltered, anonymous views. I don't see it as segregation, but offering more options to people who may feel uncomfortable posting in our oft times familial forum.  It's a good idea and as yet untested. A statement likely uttered before AM was begun.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Longislander on December 16, 2006, 12:52:12 pm
I changed my vote after Peter's reply. Yes, definitely try it out.  It's true the threads fly off page 1 these days.  Just as someone coming in to get specific help with treatment questions has a clear place to start, so could friends/family/loved ones. They can then venture into who wants to do who  ;) after they're comfortable.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: bluelove on December 16, 2006, 01:11:37 pm
Going with a yes vote.

I know my younger sister who l am close to reads these boards.But she does not post thinking here thinking her questions or thoughts might sound silly.

Maybe "Someone I Care About Has HIV"? might make her feel more comfortable to ask or share her thoughts.

Blue
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: David_CA on December 16, 2006, 01:44:24 pm
I voted 'NO'.  There are already enough different forums to check... living with, treatment questions, and just tested poz that often deal with the same issues.  If it would make people feel more comfortable to post in a new forum, then I guess it would be OK.  I just think that many questions would get overlooked there.  Often, the KISS principle works best.

David
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Teresa on December 16, 2006, 01:53:33 pm
Quote from: David_NC on December 16, 2006, 01:44:24 pm
I voted 'NO'.  There are already enough different forums to check... living with, treatment questions, and just tested poz that often deal with the same issues.  If it would make people feel more comfortable to post in a new forum, then I guess it would be OK.  I just think that many questions would get overlooked there.  Often, the KISS principle works best.

David

I agree with what David said. I voted no.

Teresa
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Ann on December 16, 2006, 01:54:05 pm
Hi David... and anyone who shares his concern about having another forum to check...

If you use the "Show Unread" link that appears under your user name in the left hand column, then you can keep up on all the new posts in any forum, all on one page. I use this method and I find it's a lot easier.

Ann
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Jerry71 on December 16, 2006, 04:23:11 pm
I voted NO. I thought this site was really just going to be for people with AIDS. Seems to me as time goes on this site will flop if you keep adding new contents. I say have a site just for people living with HIV. :o
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: J.R.E. on December 16, 2006, 04:38:22 pm
Quote from: Jerry71 on December 16, 2006, 04:23:11 pm
I thought this site was really just going to be for people with AIDS. Seems to me as time goes on this site will flop if you keep adding new contents. I say have a site just for people living with HIV.


Jerry,

From the TERMS OF MEMBERSHIP FOR THESE FORMS    The following :

The AIDSmeds.com Forums have been designed for HIV-positive people; their caregivers, friends, family, and loved ones; and people who fear they may have been exposed to the virus and require support while testing -- for educational purposes only



Now... I voted no. I see no problem the way things are now. What I would like to see is a forum for those with HIV and HCV coinfection... Perhaps ?





Ray
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Boo Radley on December 16, 2006, 04:45:06 pm
I voted yes because uninfected people affected by HIV come to AIDSmeds looking for information and this forum would make it clear they were welcome here, too. 

How about a "Someone I think is a rat bastard has HIV" forum as well?  Just tossing out the idea.

Boo
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: chemistry001 on December 16, 2006, 04:58:01 pm
Umm, tough one, I hear what both sides say, but after reading what Ann has said about checking unread mail i have voted 'No'.

My first thought was yes as posts do get pushed down so quickly and if your not on here for a day or two then you may have to scroll a few pages to find your thread if it is not one of the popular ones, then as Ann said, there is an easier way to find unread threads which i did not know about so i changed my mind.
There is such a wealth of knowledge knocking around in these pages that too split it up by starting new forums just seems a little crazy.

Paul xXx
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: HIVworker on December 16, 2006, 05:30:55 pm
Then why not also have one on HIV/HepC coinfection or HIV/HepB etc.

R
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: alisenjafi on December 16, 2006, 05:33:57 pm
My feeling is no- but going the way of AIDS activism and it's special niches - I can't help but think the old Roman adage- divide and conquer.
While I do understand that I have little to offer an Asian tranny teenager if one should post by compartmentalizing us , it seems the one thing that brought strength (unity) is being disassembled.
Are we next next to have forums for str8's? Blacks ? Asians? What happens when I venture into another forum?
  It won't be far off when each group start fighting each other for funding- and how easily that will be when we won't recognize each other as simply an infected human. So I must ask- why mimic the gov't?
Just my 2 p
Johnny
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Queen Tokelove on December 16, 2006, 05:34:54 pm
I have read other posts and honestly, I really don't care. I have no problem with the way things are and will not have a problem if you do decide to have a forum for people who knows someone who is poz....
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Maestro on December 16, 2006, 05:48:02 pm
Quote from: Peter Staley on December 16, 2006, 09:46:01 am
Some members of the forums have requested that we launch a forum for the friends, family and lovers of someone HIV+.  I'm open to this idea, but wanted to get a sense of the larger membership here.

Peter

I realize I do not have HIV but someone I care about does.  I certainly don't mean to trivialize the experiences someone who has HIV is going through, but my life has been completly turned upside by caring for someone with HIV.  And by that, I certainly think I am "Living With HIV".  So I think this forum is very appropriate.

As always, I appreciate everything everyone here does.

M
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: J.R.E. on December 16, 2006, 05:49:49 pm
Quote from: Peter Staley on December 16, 2006, 10:42:55 am
Let's face it, there aren't that many threads in Living with specific to their perspective (this is a very busy forum, and threads get pushed down quickly).  And because of the title, HIV- friends/family/lovers may not even know they are welcome here.

Peter


I understand the problem with that. I s there a way to increase the amount of topics per page. Change it from forty to fifty. I have noticed some topics are going  onto  page two, too quickly.


Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Boo Radley on December 16, 2006, 06:12:04 pm
Quote from: HIVworker on December 16, 2006, 05:30:55 pm
Then why not also have one on HIV/HepC coinfection or HIV/HepB etc.

I demand a forum for all of us with HIV, dysthymia, Social Anxiety Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Temporo- Mandibular Joint disorder, color-blindness, myopia and presbyopia, who have at least 3 cats and 3 dogs or more. 

Boo,
who knows he's not alone!!

P.S. I was co-infected with Hep B for 3 years but 3TC took care of that so I have no need for such a forum but it might not be a bad idea.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Peter Staley on December 16, 2006, 06:24:24 pm
Quote from: J.R.E. on December 16, 2006, 05:49:49 pm

I understand the problem with that. I s there a way to increase the amount of topics per page. Change it from forty to fifty. I have noticed some topics are going  onto  page two, too quickly.


I increased the topics per page to fifty.  Good suggestion.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: David_CA on December 16, 2006, 07:03:50 pm
Quote from: Ann on December 16, 2006, 01:54:05 pm
Hi David... and anyone who shares his concern about having another forum to check...

If you use the "Show Unread" link that appears under your user name in the left hand column, then you can keep up on all the new posts in any forum, all on one page. I use this method and I find it's a lot easier.

Ann


And I thought I knew this forum inside and out!  Thanks for the tip.  I just assumed that it showed the unread threads in the current forum, duh!   ;)

David
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Eldon on December 16, 2006, 07:13:37 pm
Hey Peter...

Given the situation that is open for discussion, it can go either way. However, it would be more beneficial if the members interact with the Living With forum so that they can relate more to a person Living With HIV.



"Don't Give Up, Don't Give In... Cause it is ALL within you to WIN!"
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: DanKenny on December 16, 2006, 07:28:45 pm

I've considered both sides of the issue, and there are some compelling arguments here.  But I would vote "NO" on this one.  Knowing someone who has HIV, and coming online to seek information implies one cares enough about the infected person.  If so, then one of the best places to learn and offer quality support is from experiences of people "Living with HIV".  Creating a separate forum might simply isolate the uninfected helpers. Let them mingle, and learn. 

/DK
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: cubbybear on December 16, 2006, 07:49:28 pm
I voted No.

Those people are living with HIV even if they aren't themselves infected and issues discussed in their own forum would be just as well placed to be posted in the living with forum like they always have.  I see no need to double up when they are more than welcome in the living with forum.

Just my AUD $0.02 worth.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: md on December 17, 2006, 04:02:37 am
After reading the respones so far, and after a lot of thought, I voted "yes".

It isn't a very strong "yes" vote and I wouldn't really care very much if the new forum isn't created, but I do think that there is some value in having another forum with a slightly different focus.

Here is why.

I do not have HIV, but my partner does, so in that sense I am "liiving with HIV".
He, however, has advanced ADC and, in a very real sense, the person that I knew and lived with for over 20 years no longer exists. The person that he has become is currently "being kept alive with HIV" and one day, I suppose, will be "dying with HIV". He is, by definition, in a very different state than anyone who still has the mental capacity to post in these forums.

While I have in no way felt unwelcome in the "living with HIV" forum, there are topics involving quality of life, stopping HAART treatment, palliative care and other end of life issues that I have been hesitant to bring up since they seem  to me, at least to some extent, to be off-topic iin a forum for people who are living with HIV. Perhaps some of these issues and, of course, others might be easier to discuss in a form that had a slightly different focus.

In all of this I am assuming that there is not intention to "exclude" anyone from any of the forums, only to provide another corner of this virtual room in which slightly different conversations, of interest to a different but overlapping set of people, can take place.

A footnote:

I just went back and re-read the entire thread again, including my own post, and was struck by the number of references to "them" in other posts. That's also part of the issue - when I post in this forum I am apparently "one of them", not "one of us".

Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: poet on December 17, 2006, 05:38:02 am
I voted no.  Having a forum open to caretakers is standard in cancer, etc. with support groups and the like.  But I thought about who would be contributing to it: people seeking support, people with questions, things found on aidsmeds already.  So I pictured post and after post of questions which no one could answer because the people with the answers weren't visiting it.  I myself wouldn't visit it, because the point is the forums, for me, is to spend time with people like myself who are living with hiv. And I thought about GMHC using its funds to reach out to caretakers, and couldn't imagine it either. Win
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: sweetasmeli on December 17, 2006, 05:59:09 am
Hmmm...I dont think it would do any harm trying it out. If it doesnt seem to be working you can always scrap it. So I'm a yes, try it out, why not?

Or/and you could find some way of making it clearer on the AM homepage that the site is for people living with and/or affected by hiv/aids.

Just my 2pence/2 cents worth (depending on where I am!)...

Miss Melia

PS: Mr Boo: you're funny! :D
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: J.R.E. on December 17, 2006, 06:05:15 am
Peter,

I also believe that a little while back , I had made reference to the possibility of starting a forum for HIV negative caregivers. I bellieve I had mentioned this very lightly in one of Maestro's threads about his uncle. I thought at that time, that his concerns, may end up going off the page ( to page two or three), and not getting the proper support. But in reality , that never happened, and I believe that as I continue reading Maestros threads, he continues to get that support for his uncle, from the members here on the site, Just as others that are negative are getting that support for their loved ones/ spouses. This or course is only  only one particular case. But it's working. This is why I believe another forum, should not be created, and I voted "no". I think that posts may get lost, or may not get responded to, as well as they do in the living with forum.


Just my thoughts  ----Ray





Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Cliff on December 17, 2006, 06:38:33 am
I voted no cause if it impacts people with HIV, then it will likely get missed by those who may need it the most.  With so many forums, I believe most people primarily stick to 1 or 2 for daily/weekly viewing and only use the other forums sporadically.  There are probably other forums that are likely, (I think), to get more usage (specifically, a forum for co-infected individuals).

But at the end of the day, it doesn't hurt to try it out.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: blondbeauty on December 17, 2006, 08:07:03 am
I think it would be a very good idea and of great help for parents, lovers, friends and relatives in general. If I ever tell my parent I would like them to be able to join such a forum.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Iggy on December 17, 2006, 10:00:23 am
.





Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Joe K on December 17, 2006, 01:51:15 pm
Thank you Peter for continuing to anticipate the needs of these forums and I vote a resounding YES.

I started reading some of the responses and many of you seem to miss the basics of what Peter is offering.  I have been in a sero-discordant relationship and I can attest to the truth that there are very different issues that concern both partners.  Since I was the one with HIV it was my responsibility to manage my health and support Mark if he had concerns.  However, it was not my role to help him understand how it felt to love someone with HIV, because I had never been there.

This is not an issue of dividing or anything else, it is an issue of inclusion.  So many people complain on how misunderstood the HIV community is and here we are debating a forum to support the very people who love and often take care of us pozzies.  They have real needs that we will never understand, you know, the same issues that pozzies have that negative people can rarely understand.

I would hope that we would support such a forum and realize that by doing so, we send a very powerful message to our loved ones about how much we cherish them and want to provide any tools available to help them to help themselves and us.

Maybe the answer would be more clear if we simply viewed this new forum as a logical extension of what we have here.  To me, the thought that we would deny ANYONE infected/affected with/by HIV all that we can offer seems very shortsighted and down right cruel.  Just like us, our supporters deserve the best we can offer.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: heartforyou on December 17, 2006, 04:03:12 pm
Yes,

This still is one Forum.
I can imagine that people living with HIV pos people would benefit form each others experiences.
Why not try it out?

Hermie
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 17, 2006, 04:23:59 pm
Quote from: poet on December 17, 2006, 05:38:02 am
I voted no.  Having a forum open to caretakers is standard in cancer, etc. with support groups and the like.  But I thought about who would be contributing to it: people seeking support, people with questions, things found on aidsmeds already.  So I pictured post and after post of questions which no one could answer because the people with the answers weren't visiting it.  I myself wouldn't visit it, because the point is the forums, for me, is to spend time with people like myself who are living with hiv. And I thought about GMHC using its funds to reach out to caretakers, and couldn't imagine it either. Win

Peter,

The post I quoted raised some very good points for me to consider.  For one, I'm a bit in the dark about the inner workings behind sites such as this.  What impact (aside from dynamics) does adding or removing forums sections have, in general?  I mean in terms of mechanics, labor involved, costs...all of that nuts and bolts stuff.  I'd be interested in a little insight about that.  I think others would as well.

The second thing is a counter-point to Win's post.  He made the statement that he could see post after post of unanswered questions because the people with the information (us) wouldn't view it.  I'd like to say that if the forum is started, I will make it a point to check on it with consistency.  While I agree that the primary point of the forums is to be 'for us & by us- the poz community', I think this addition could provide a tremendous opportunity to open lines of communication between "us and them".  There is potential to further reduce anxieties, uncertainty & stigma...to further demystify this virus to a wider circle.  That's just got to be an idea worthy of at least trying, right?

~Tim
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Jeffreyj on December 17, 2006, 11:40:18 pm
Carefull...The site is getting "watered down."
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 17, 2006, 11:44:17 pm
Explain how.  Watered down how?  What, in your opinion, was its more 'solid' form?
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: HIVworker on December 17, 2006, 11:46:23 pm
Peter, how about some way of putting something to condense someones numbers? A lot of people have them in their signature, which is excellent, but some way of making signatures smaller?

Just another silly idea.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: J.R.E. on December 18, 2006, 07:52:41 am
Quote from: HIVworker on December 17, 2006, 11:46:23 pm
Peter, how about some way of putting something to condense someones numbers? A lot of people have them in their signature, which is excellent, but some way of making signatures smaller?

Just another silly idea.


There is a limit to how many charactors, that one can use for there signature line. I won't be able to put too much more of my numbers up. I am just about at the limit, so I will have to find another way...




Also Peter:

On the forums home page,Just under Aidsmeds.com ,  how bout adding to "Founded & Operated by people living with HIV... and for family members, loved ones and spouses of those infected with HIV. ( or something to that effect, you no what I mean.)


Ray
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: aztecan on December 18, 2006, 10:29:46 am
I vote yes.

I don't think it will segregate folks, but it will provide a space for affected loved ones to meet, greet and support one another.

Negative loved ones face challenges as well and being able to bounce ideas, situations and concerns off each other may help.

So, that's my 2¢ worth.

HUGS,

Mark

P.S. Peter, my spell check still isn't working.

Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: pozguy75 on December 18, 2006, 10:50:38 am
I voted yes...the main reason is, it's great to talk with people who are living with HIV/AIDS, but there are needs and emotions we just can't feel sometimes...I think it would be nice to have our family members who want to discuss coping measures, and other feelings with people who feel the exact same way...in their own safe environment.

It's not a matter of segregation, because they can still come in here ask questions to those are are living with it...but, it gives them a place to meet, discuss, and support each other in a way that we, well, can't.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Queen Tokelove on December 18, 2006, 11:02:08 am
Jeffrey,

I too would like to know what you mean by watered down? I'm not trying to call you out or anything but I am taking everyone's thoughts into consideration. I had said previously that I didn't care but Jeromy and a few others have made some valid points for having a room open for people that are affected through others. I didn't vote one way or the other,so..... :-*
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: J220 on December 18, 2006, 11:18:14 am
I say yes, and only because I see this simply as a matter of organization. It is much easier and concise to go to the forum you are interested in reading if the topic is better narrowed down.

While on the subject of forums, think the "Clinical Trials" forum should be changed to "Research News". This would be more in keeping with the vast majority of posts there. J.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Peter Staley on December 18, 2006, 02:46:06 pm
Quote from: J220 on December 18, 2006, 11:18:14 am
While on the subject of forums, think the "Clinical Trials" forum should be changed to "Research News". This would be more in keeping with the vast majority of posts there. J.

Good suggestion, J. 

We changed the title to "Research News and Studies".

Peter
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 18, 2006, 02:49:26 pm
Yeah....what Queen said.  For the record, I'm not trying to 'call anyone out' or anything.  I am still pretty new on here, so I don't have the scope of perspective that some of the more long-term members have. 

~+
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: DingoBoi on December 18, 2006, 06:36:14 pm
I would have to say yes for the exact same reasons as when the 'newly infected' forum was debated.  Growing site traffic and a spoken need/want for it.

How has the newly infected forum fared in comparison to when it was debated?
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: sweetasmeli on December 23, 2006, 12:50:28 pm
I already voted yes but I just wanted to add to my comment.

The other day I was talking with my best friend on the phone. She told me that she had been speaking with a friend of hers who knows her brother is positive but also knows he hasnt told his partner. Long story short, she told me that they started talking to each other about their concerns: my best friend's concerns about me and her friend's concerns about her brother. I didnt ask because I didnt actually realise till I got off the phone, but I got the distinct impression that she felt relieved she finally had someone she could talk to about her thoughts and feelings about my health and issues I've been struggling with that she would like to help me with.

It suddenly hit me just how affected the family members and friends we disclose our status to can actually be by our hiv status. Even though I've always been aware of the 'burdening' effect that disclosure can have on the person who is told, I never really thought about how they can be affected in the long-term, with respect to needing to ask questions and discuss their thoughts and feelings etc. I now realise they may well have questions of their own they need to ask and discuss with others in the same boat as them. I guess I realised its not necessarily only us - the infected - who need a support network. The ones who care about us often need help coping too.

Melia
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Rhino on December 23, 2006, 06:56:01 pm
There have been a quite a few questions I would liked to have asked but didn't because I was afraid to offended or upset anyone here. Maybe if there was a specific place I could have addressed these concerns I would have been able to interact with the poz people in my life a little better.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Longislander on December 23, 2006, 07:00:32 pm
Melia (as usual) makes perfect sense.

There are probably many questions that 'people who care' have , but are too embarassed, uncomfortable or unsure whether to ask the HIV person themselves.

I hope it happens, even on a trial basis. It can also give HIV+ people an inside look at what our friends/family may be thinking.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Life on December 23, 2006, 10:50:33 pm
Yes....
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 23, 2006, 11:17:33 pm
That's kind of what I was trying to express in my 'yes' vote, but Melia said it so much better!  (As usual...Gosh, what a way with words that gal has!)  I will repeat myself again to say I see a great chance for opening up lines of communication on such a broad scope here.  The idea seems so worth it to me to try.
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Eldon on December 24, 2006, 03:05:26 am
(http://i119.photobucket.com/albums/o134/forfun_06/TaiwanDance.jpg)
Yes, I AM Supporting You!

Hey Peter...

It is amazing how your perception changes when you look at the same topic again. What came to mind was our member Maestro. He was or is in the situation where he was caring for someone who has HIV. He posted in the Living With Forum and he received a lot of support as well as suggestions. A perception.






"Don't You Dare Give Up, Don't You Dare Give In...Because It Is ALL Within YOU to WIN!!!"
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: Peter Staley on December 26, 2006, 11:29:46 am
Thanks for the input everyone.  The YEAS have it. 

I've created the new board.  If, in a few months, folks don't think it's working out, we can always merge it into the Living With board.

Happy New Year!

Peter
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 26, 2006, 12:30:30 pm
Yea!  I'm very happy about that!  I still don't see the forum on the left hand side.  When is it due to roll out for us?
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: thunter34 on December 26, 2006, 12:44:13 pm
Never Mind.....TA DAH! 

Thanks, folks!
Title: Re: New forum called "Someone I Care About Has HIV"?
Post by: lovingdaughter on December 28, 2006, 10:34:42 pm
I voted Yes! Although I have always felt welcome here, & have had great support from all of you, I sometimes find myself feeling a little guilty (for a lack of a better word) when I am venting about what my family goes through with my dad's poor health & recurring hospital stays & asking questions from all of you, who are actually going through the same thing, first hand. I don't want to be separated from you guys, as you have become family to me. But at the same time, I read what you are going through & sometimes it just seems a little selfish of me to "cry" on your shoulders. Please don't misunderstand, I know none of you feel this way and you have always been there for me, I don't think I would have learned as much as I have without you guys and sometimes you are the only thing that gets me through to the next step. I'm just saying that, SOMETIMES, family, loved ones,etc. need an outlet of their own, on their level.

                               My best to all of you,
                                             Lisa