Author Topic: Eric's Will Died Today.....Rest in Peace (Read 13993 times)

Robert · « **on:** October 23, 2009, 10:21:08 pm »

I received an email from Eric today. His husband, Will, died this morning (Thursday, Oct. 23) at Rose Memorial Hospital in Denver, Colorado.

Eric writes, "Right now, I am lost, devistated and so utterly wondering how to go on without the most beautiful human being I had ever had the chance to meet.."

The Rockies had never met two finer gentlemen than Will and Eric. It's October and the Aspen have changed. I like to think that their magnificent colors are a loving tribute to the love between these two men, their quaking leaves a long goodbye.

God Bless, Eric

robert

joemutt · « **Reply #1 on:** October 23, 2009, 11:59:29 pm »

My thoughts go out to you Eric, I am sorry about your loss.

komnaes · « **Reply #2 on:** October 24, 2009, 12:12:00 am »

My condolences to Eric and to his and Will's family...

Big hugs to Eric, Shaun

skeebo1969 · « **Reply #3 on:** October 24, 2009, 12:20:31 am »

Sorry for your loss Eric.

RIP Will

Life · « **Reply #4 on:** October 24, 2009, 01:29:07 am »

I posted this in anothet thread.... Thank you Jeff and Robert for posting....

Please live your days as if they were your last. You just never know when someone important in your life may not be here for you to tell them that you love them tomorrow.. I learned the hard way.

Thank you for all the prayers and good thoughts, it means alot.

William died Thursday in my arms at 11:30am in Denver Colorado, he was 49 years old. Even though we were apart these past few months, it still met that I thought we could and would figure things out and that we would wind up again together. William dialed 911 on Wednesday around 7:30pm and than collapsed in his apartment. He was awake only briefly then was unconscious to the very end. He had a massive bleed in his chest that could not be stopped. Full blood transfusionsn and clotting agents were administered and 100% oxygen and ventilation were given along with the highest dosages of bp meds to keep him going for awhile longer. All his friends myself, my mother, brother and sister were there along with Williams Mom and Dad. (he was their only son). I was told by the nurse that we believe that these patients can here you even though the are "out". I spend 4 hours with him until he died holding him, running my fingers through his hair, kissing him on the cheek and telling him how much I loved him and that my life has been nothing but full of joy since he proposed to me six years ago. Seeing William in this condition (like a dump truck ran over him) was heart renching. His eyes were just slightly open but very red and swollen. I looked into his eyes and just kept telling him that you were the best part of my life…

I told him that God is going to just enjoy having you and that you would no longer be in any more pain from this world and that you have been a blessing to me and countless others. The pain that I feel and remorse for not being here for William is still present but I know the choices I made to stay in Aspen until I could reason things out were reasonable. However, I still feel that if he and I were still living together, I could have gotten him to the hospital before this catastrophic event took place. This was not an hiv death, it was by other causes.. However William also had on his plate going on ARV’s as well as dealing with liver, platelet problems. I know William had health issues but he always chose to keep those close to him and not really completely give himself over. He would rather help you than himself and inevitably, this is how and why he died.

I am so lost right now and all I can remember is all the love and care he gave me and all the times we spent together over the years. I walk through the park were we lived in Denver and now everything has changed for me. My perspective, my out look, everything. I am seeking the support of many friends and my support group and I will get through this in time. I just wish that I could have had just a few more years with William because I was not finished loving him… Tomorrow Dr. Ben invited me to go out with him for lunch to talk about life and William and my future…

I wish I could have Will back and I wish all of you could have met him. He was my love of my life and I will never forget this for the rest of my life.. I am truly blessed to have had the six years I did with my beloved Will…

Rest in Peace…. William

OzPaul · « **Reply #5 on:** October 24, 2009, 02:14:05 am »

Dear Eric

I am so sorry for your loss. May Will rest in peace. You were such a kind, loving and loyal friend and partner.

Paul

BrooklynGuy · « **Reply #6 on:** October 24, 2009, 05:01:17 am »

Eric,

I am so sorry for your loss. Know that Will is in heaven looking over you and will be there to greet you some day. May he rest in peace and may you remember all the good times and keep them close to your heard all your days.

Frank (BrooklyGuy)

Dachshund · « **Reply #7 on:** October 24, 2009, 07:03:09 am »

My condolences to you Eric

hal

BT65 · « **Reply #8 on:** October 24, 2009, 07:07:00 am »

Eric, I am so, so sorry for your loss. I'll be keeping you in thoughts and prayers.
In sadness,
Betty

Ann · « **Reply #9 on:** October 24, 2009, 07:28:50 am »

Quote from: Life on October 24, 2009, 01:29:07 am

Please live your days as if they were your last. You just never know when someone important in your life may not be here for you to tell them that you love them tomorrow.. I learned the hard way.

Eric, I already responded in the other thread, but I wanted to respond here to what I quoted above.

What you say is so true. My partner (also poz) doesn't take as good care of himself as he should and it scares me no end. However, I can't live his life for him and I can't tell him how to live his life either. All I can do is be there for him and let him know how much I love him.

I'm sure William knew how much you loved him and I've been rooting for you two to settle your differences and find a happy medium. I can't tell you how much my heart aches for you now. It's not often that I end up in tears through what I read in these forums, but I've been crying this morning.

((((((Eric))))))

Stay strong.

Ann
xxx

carousel · « **Reply #10 on:** October 24, 2009, 07:31:27 am »

Eric,

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

I'm glad to hear about all the wonderful years that you have had and that you were there to share those last few hours with Will.

Condolences.

Texan38 · « **Reply #11 on:** October 24, 2009, 08:02:00 am »

Eric,

Reading your post brought a tear of saddness to my eye. The time the two of you spent together seemed lovingly beautiful. I am so deeply sorry for your loss.

Mark

bocker3 · « **Reply #12 on:** October 24, 2009, 08:57:52 am »

Eric,

I am soooo sorry. Will was so lucky to have a wonderful man like you and I know that he knew that. I'll be thinking of you.

HUGS

Mike
(I also sent you a PM)

bear60 · « **Reply #13 on:** October 24, 2009, 10:05:41 am »

What a heart wrenching story Eric. I'm so sorry about your loss.
Take it easy.

Denver Toad · « **Reply #14 on:** October 24, 2009, 10:19:56 am »

I'm saddened and hurt for your loss Eric. I am so glad that you and Will had your time together, but wish it had been longer and that a different ending could have been written.

Be gentle with yourself and I hope you find some peace. Godspeed Will, hugs and prayers to you Eric.

Todd

Moffie65 · « **Reply #15 on:** October 24, 2009, 10:31:51 am »

Eric,

When you called Thursday morning, I was able to keep my emotions at bay, and not cry. Not so much with what you wrote above.

Be sure, William is still with you, and he will be for as long as needed. He is now in peace and now he no longer has this body to weigh him down. I am sure as the day is long, that Will was probalby aware of his demise, and was making preprations for that day and that exit; consequently I think he moved to Denver and pulled away from you, most likely thinking that it might be easier on you and his family if he was not leaving anyone in the lurch. Just a feeling buddy.

Love you,
Tim.

dad1216 · « **Reply #16 on:** October 24, 2009, 10:50:20 am »

Eric,

My deepest condolences to you, I am so sorry for your loss.

Bob

Snowangel · « **Reply #17 on:** October 24, 2009, 11:17:57 am »

Eric,
I am so sorry for your loss.

Snow

Joe K · « **Reply #18 on:** October 24, 2009, 11:31:55 am »

Dear Eric,

My deepest condolences on your loss. There are never any adequate words to offer, at times like this, so i will leave you with the words of Angelo Patri, who writes:

“In one sense there is no death. The life of a soul on earth lasts beyond their departure. You will always feel that life touching yours, that voice speaking to you, that spirit looking out of other eyes, talking to you in the familiar things they touched, worked with, loved as familiar friends. They live on in your life and in the lives of all others who knew them.”

Love you,

Joe

aztecan · « **Reply #19 on:** October 24, 2009, 11:54:20 am »

Eric,

There are no words to adequately express how I feel.

Just know that you, your family, Will's family and, of course, Will, will be in my thoughts.

With love,

Mark

PeteNYNJ · « **Reply #20 on:** October 24, 2009, 02:20:27 pm »

Eric

My condolences. William was also lucky to have you in his life and I am sure you were in his thoughts at the end.

RIP William

xoxo

Pete

Nashvegas · « **Reply #21 on:** October 24, 2009, 03:27:00 pm »

So sorry to hear about Will's passing, Eric. My thoughts are with you and both of your families.

J.R.E. · « **Reply #22 on:** October 24, 2009, 03:33:29 pm »

Dear Eric,

I am so sorry and saddened to read of Will's passing. My deepest heartfelt sympathies go out to you, and Will's family. This is such a shock, I am deeply saddened.

With Love-----Ray

Life · « **Reply #23 on:** October 25, 2009, 01:12:57 am »

I am surely blessed to have all of you as friends during this time. I cannot put to words what it feels like not to know William is not just a phone call or email away. Even being apart I knew where he was, I knew where I could find him, and I knew that he was safe. Unfortunately the last just was not true. I spent today talking with his friends and family. I spent two hours alone in a closed HIV clinic just sitting with Dr. Ben and myself over a cup of coffee. Ben explained to me exactly how William left us and the physical reasons why. He has such a way in putting it in simple understandable terms. I think we both shed tears as we talked about Will and how sparkly he was here in the office with the staff and out there in the real world. Ben kept reminding me that he would "kick my ass" if I ever felt that I missed something or did not see the "signs". William was on a path that probably was unchangeable given his condition. This does not make it much easier. Tonight I took a long walk down to a lake in Denver and prayed in earnest to feel the spirit of William fill my sole. I asked God to fill the emptiness that is inescapable. I pray and I pray and I pray to find the peace in knowing William is being taken care of and that the terrors of this world have left him and he is joyous, happy and free. I want the same for all of us who have gone through such loss... I want to know peace again and know that life will go on as William would want my life to go on.... I need a hand to hold and I need a shoulder to cry on.. God bless all of you here. And God Bless William..

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the
paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the
shadow of death; I will fear no evil: for thou
art with me; thy rod and thy staff they
comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the
presence of mine enemies: thou anointest
my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all
the days of my life; and I will dwell in the
house of the Lord for ever.

psalm 23 - bible - psalm of david

Jeffreyj · « **Reply #24 on:** October 25, 2009, 04:02:38 am »

Eric,
Thank you for those eloquent words. You have a wonderful way of writing and explaining your deep feelings to us. You are a great friend and a class act. William is at peace, and you know he would want you to carry on, happy and strong. I can see your strength now. The happiness may fade right now, but it will come back soon enough.

I hope you will find strength in those happy memories you and Will had. May these happy times help you move forward. I know it has worked for me. I take much comfort remembering the great times I had with Kandi. It will get better for you Eric. I prey for your strength so you can move forward with your life.
And what great advice you gave in your other post:To live each day like it's your last. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for any of us.
You can cry on my shoulder any time Eric. You are an amazing human being. Don't for get that.
Love you ole friend,
Jeff

karry · « **Reply #25 on:** October 25, 2009, 08:16:49 am »

Eric,

My condolences. I have you in my prayers.
RIP Will.

Karry

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #26 on:** October 25, 2009, 02:48:51 pm »

Eric,

I will keep you and William's parents in my prayers. You have my condolences.

Assurbanipal · « **Reply #27 on:** October 25, 2009, 04:37:29 pm »

Eric

My sincere condolences to you and the rest of Will's family and loved ones.

A

Life · « **Reply #28 on:** October 25, 2009, 05:11:30 pm »

I put up Williams picture.... He looks so happy here...

I am hanging on and thank you for the prayers. I know they truly are felt by me and all those lives that William touched over the years.

This morning I took Williams family to our church in Denver. Me and Will spent many Sundays here with all our gay, straight, you name it friends. When the prayers were read for those who were suffering this week, only William was mentioned. The church was full and during the five minute prayer the entire congregation held eachothers hands unbroken as we listened to the pastor pray for William and that his family finds peace in knowing that we all share the grief and loss of William... It was the most moving service I have ever attended.. I wish I would have brought more Kleenex...

We will have a celebration of Williams life at our old home in Denver on the 11th floor looking out over Denver and the entire mountain range. William always loved going up to the roof and finding peace there.... We will do this for William this Wednesday..

I love all of you very much, and I cannot thank each and everyone of you for your kind words and encouragement these past 48 + hours. It sustains me and moves me forward..

All my Love,

Eric

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #29 on:** October 27, 2009, 04:11:05 am »

Oh Eric, I'm just now catching up on this thread (high on Mucinex-D as I'm sick so excuse spelling errors) but just wanted to let you know how much I'm thinking of you, and of your dearly departed partner. One can't imagine the loss you are feeling, and the new road that is opening up for you to carry on with your own life.

All my best,

David

anniebc · « **Reply #30 on:** October 27, 2009, 06:19:45 am »

Dearest Eric

Thank you for sharing your beautiful memories and photo's with me, you are in my thoughts, my condolences to you and to both families.

In sadness
Jan

sharkdiver · « **Reply #31 on:** October 27, 2009, 09:28:00 am »

My thoughts are with you.

MSPspud · « **Reply #32 on:** October 27, 2009, 10:47:12 am »

Eric - I am so sorry to hear this today. My thoughts are with you.

Jason

Sebastian1969 · « **Reply #33 on:** October 27, 2009, 11:03:50 am »

Eric,
I am sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds like you have a lot of wonderful memories of Will and those memories will comfort you in the days, weeks and years to come. Love is an amazing thing. In time the final hours will become more of a blur and your memories of the person are of them when they wre their strongest. God bless you, Will, and your family.

rondrond · « **Reply #34 on:** October 27, 2009, 02:50:35 pm »

I am sorry for your loss...

Ronnie

Life · « **Reply #35 on:** October 27, 2009, 11:30:59 pm »

Thank you my Dear Friends...... I do not feel alone as I move through this... Today I spent the entire time working on what I was going to say when asked to speak. I have gone through a container of kleenex. We will all get togther tomorrow night on top of our high rise down town Denver (in a snow storm of course) and celebrate how William touched us all and carried us through when we were down. I know I am going to loose it, but thats ok..... I want to get these feelings out and I want to greive with everyone else.... My family will be there and scores of others that will make the night one to truly remember..... Its going to be difficult to go back to Aspen at the end of the week... I know I have a very good support group there who will help me through my lonely times, my sad times and whatever this life is going to throw at me......

Thank you for allowing me to lay it out on line here... It really helps me knowing people whom I have never met care for me, for William, his friends and especially his Mother and Father...

Bless all of you!

Eric

Angel-Ronnie · « **Reply #36 on:** October 28, 2009, 12:52:31 am »

Dear Eric I am sadened by the news my thoughts and prayers with you and the families of you both in this difficult time.

Hugs

Ronnie

northernguy · « **Reply #37 on:** October 28, 2009, 11:13:09 am »

I'm so very sorry to hear of this Eric. Please take care of yourself.

EBmemphis · « **Reply #38 on:** October 28, 2009, 11:58:04 am »

Eric,

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Eric

manchesteruk · « **Reply #39 on:** October 29, 2009, 06:33:49 pm »

Eric apologies I've only just come across this news. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.

Life · « **Reply #40 on:** October 30, 2009, 12:28:48 pm »

My Dear Friends. I am headed home now back to Aspen after this winter storm. My mind is numb in knowing that my life is very much changed in the permanent loss of William. Future plans are now unwritten and undone. Perspectives have changed on what now is important in my life and I guess I just need time to understand them and act. William always told me to "Keep moving Forward" in everything I do. I will try and honor that. That the most important part of living is "your relationship with Friends and Family." Nothing is more important. I will try and live by that. The emptiness sometimes is so overwhelming for me that I feel it can never be fillled again. I know this will pass. And I will keep moving forward hoping and praying that again Eric will be happy. That his family will find peace. Right now, its just not happening. Its an amazing piece of machinery the "heart" God gave us. Its amazing the amount of joy, the amount of sorrow it can hold all the while keeping us a heart beat away from where William is now.

I am thankful to be feeling this. But I really wish I could let the sorrow leave and be joyous in the fact I was so happy during our times together on earth...

Now its time to drive back up the mountains and get going again with my life as it is.

Eric

MOONLIGHT1114 · « **Reply #41 on:** October 30, 2009, 10:47:20 pm »

Dear Eric~

I am so sorry to hear of William's passing. May you find peace in knowing that he is no longer suffering.

You are in my thoughts tonight.

~ Cindy

wellington · « **Reply #42 on:** October 31, 2009, 04:28:19 am »

Eric.

I simply am shocked to hear this news. Please know that I am thinking of you, fondly.

*hugs*
w

Andy Velez · « **Reply #43 on:** October 31, 2009, 09:24:23 am »

WOW! This is stunning news, Eric.

Thinking of you and praying for you to get through and continue you on the best you can.

Hugs without end.

Moffie65 · « **Reply #44 on:** October 31, 2009, 10:56:58 am »

Just before Eric left for home yesterday; we talked for about an hour, and it seems like Eric is finally beginning to regain his life again. This is very good.

We chatted about the time that he and Will had been given together, and Will's ongoing challenges with the addiction, and that now he is free of the body that weighed so heavy on him. Will was above all things, a stalwart in his caring and love for all things family.

We also chatted about divine intervention, and the fact that we often pray that God will intervene and make things what we would like to see. However, the flaw in that is when we ask for divine intervention; we must then give the situation over to God to do with what he wants. It is shameful for us to doubt the outcomes of these prayers if in fact it means that God has taken a lover, mother, father or other family member to be with Him. If God's solution was to take Will, then we must be thankful for that action, as we might have been the trigger in that action by asking for God's intervention. To actually doubt it is to spit in the face of God.

Eric thinks he can work through it, and come to a place of peace about the loss of Will in his life, but it will take some time of course. He is in a very good place in his own life, and he promised me that he would make sure that he draws his thoughts away from the sadness and look more towards the good and the light. I am confident he will and can do that.

Eric is now focused very sharply on making the best of a shitty situation, and he has turned the corner on refocusing his life in Aspen. He will be OK, and I am sure of that because he has a very good network of people who really care for him and his recovery from loss. I simply tried to help him to continue on and focus on all the things in his life that are really good and enriching, something that we all need to do on a daily basis.

Life · « **Reply #45 on:** November 01, 2009, 06:00:24 pm »

From Williams Memorial......

Know that there is a Higher Power...
a Silent Pulse.... a Guiding Force...
that has been created, evolved
and given you life.

Call it what you will-
Know that your are Part of the Whole, which is a Miraculous Orchestration of Organization and Synchronicity that cannot be denied or Ignored.

Time to close this thread and move on... I know he would want me to....

All my Love,

Eric

jinghua · « **Reply #46 on:** November 01, 2009, 11:25:10 pm »

Dear Eric,

Accept my deepest condolences....i'm sorry for your lost..

Jing Hua

Florida69 · « **Reply #47 on:** November 03, 2009, 10:52:04 am »

My dearest brave Eric, when I spoke to you last week my heart was aching from the hurt that I know you are feeling. I was in the Florida Keys when I heard the news and wanted to touch you right away, and let you know that if you ever need a friend, I will always be available for you. I wish that I could make the pain go away, but I know that only time can ease the pain. You are a truly beautiful soul, and I know that the love that William instilled in you will continue to grow. I have cried for the love that is lost. If only I could believe that it is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all. You have loved, you have climbed that mountain, you have reached the summit and you flew beyond your wildest dreams. Please do not forget that feeling, and remember you are truly loved my friend, as unconditional as one could love a child, lover, sibling or parent. Life continues to throw us curve balls, we swing and miss, but sometimes we hit the ball out of the stadium. I know you have it in you to hit the ball out of the stadium; I have seen you do it. Know that my thoughts and prayers are always with you, I have carried you in my heart since the very first time I met you on the Body. You have inspired me to live, love and embrace life. If only I could give you just a piece of the power that you have instilled in each and everyone of us on this site, I would. I have learned many things since realizing my positive status, but the biggest thing is that life has just begun, we are in the trenches of a war, and the brave like you will be the ones standing in victory. I know that we have lost touch over the past few years, I do not frequent any of the sites as I used to, as life has continued to give me lemons, and lemonade is what I have learned to make. Regardless how tart my troubles regardless how big, none compare to your loss. I honestly believe that God calls only the best and purest of heart home early, and he has done that for William. You will be together again; however on earth we struggle to understand his message. May you find peace in the life that you had with William, and love without conditions. Much love to you my dear friend. Donnie

AlanBama · « **Reply #48 on:** November 07, 2009, 05:49:15 pm »

Dear Eric, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

With love & sorrow,

Alan

RIP Will

Jody · « **Reply #49 on:** November 08, 2009, 11:31:05 am »

Dearest Eric ... I am so sorry to post so late but my sincerest condolences on the loss of your beloved Will. I am touched by your solemn, yet strong response and know that Will shall always be close to your heart as long as you live. Be well kindly man.

Jody

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Author Topic: Eric's Will Died Today.....Rest in Peace (Read 13993 times)