My Friend is paranoid, needs expert advise.

[ansari]

I am monogamous male from Pakistan, in late forties and so far limited myself within committed relationship, except one incident abroad. I met a white American married lady, not from a high risk group. and after a couple of "dry dates" we attempted to masturbate each other. Both of us had fingers exposed to each other's secretions at the end.

I later checked my fingers for possible cut or open wound, but there wasn't any, but anxiety continued. I went for MEIA antibody test after completion of 7th week of exposure, which came out "non-reactive".

There are two different opinions about testing window period, as I have learned from a number of websites, where extent of exposure risk is also said to a contributing factor, and according to them, 6-8 week negative test is more than enough for a low risk behaviour. For rest of the risky behaviours (unprotected anal or vaginal sex), 12/13 week test is conclusive. Although I am unable to buy this logic, because, test method has nothing to do with type of exposure.

What I want to ask from the knowledgeables here that should I proceed for my 13 week test if it is necessary in my case. It really requires lots of nerve power to go for blood sampling, wait for the result and finally go n collect the report. I have been through this cycle once and wanted to repeat only if it is really needed.

Just for info, I remain totally asymptomatic during the period, without any fever, rashes or any other listed ARS symptom.

[Ann]

ansari,

You didn't have a risk for hiv infection. Mutual masturbation is NOT a risk for hiv infection regardless of any cuts or whatever on your hands/fingers.

You do not need further testing over this incident. You ARE hiv negative. You do NOT have hiv.

If you have relations outside your marriage again, as long as you are using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned. Take a condom refresher course by reading through the three condom and lube links in my signature line.

Please also read through the Transmission Lesson - you'll find the link in our Welcome Thread.

You did NOT have a risk and you do NOT need further testing. You ARE hiv negative.

Ann

[ansari]

Ann

I am extremely grateful for your quick and very encouraging response. I wish you a very happy and healthy life, God bless you.

No ! I have no further intention to be "adventurous", this was enough for me. I had almost 50 sleepless nights until I got my first 7 week test "negative". Polygamy is not the cup of tea for anxious and ultra sensitive people like me. I am happy with my wife and thankful to her, who stood by with me in my difficult time and supported me a  lot. I was so careful that kept myself away from her with a fear that I may not infect her, during a time when my viral load would have been at the highest.

Now I am feeling the same as I was before the incident and your response gave me a new life,,, Once again tons of thanks for you.

[Ann]

ansari,

You're welcome - glad to help.

Ann

[ansari]

I am writing this post on behalf of my friend, who is not very good at computers and specially requested me to post his problem (which, I think is not a problem).

Based on my little knowledge gained from this forum, I tried to calm him down and told him that he was never at risk, but he insists to get and a professional reply from an expert, not from me.. So here I am on his behalf.

He visited Hong Kong in early October and "following the norms" (just a humorous note) of far east, called  room service for massage. The poor fellow "charged" during the course of excellent "work" performed by the massage girl and ended up with an "upgrade".

The "upgrade" was limited to masturbation, done by the girl to him, without any anal, vaginal or oral exposure. The genitals of the two, were not even came into direct contact of each other. The girl did not use her saliva for lubrication, but the same massage oil.

After this "exposure" he is too worried and thinks that what if,,,, you know what I mean,,,

I request you to please reply my post so that anxiety level of my friend could be  brought down. Further, does he need any testing?

Regards   

[Ann]

Ansari,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread - even when you're asking for a "friend".

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Your friend did not have a risk and he only needs to be tested if he is regularly sexually active. While testing is NOT needed over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann