Fearful in Florida

[Mandakins]

So I’m not an overly promiscuous girl, I am not saying people with HIV are, but I think I might have HIV. I have been hearing rumors about a guy I hooked up with. I am not sure if they are valid but to ease my mind I am going to get the test. I plan to get it tomorrow. We did engage in unprotected sex, and I knew better but at that time it did not seem important. And now I have no way to contact him.

Ironically, I always ask partners if they are clean multiple times. This guy, Bart said “Oh no I am clean, I’m military.” News Flash! Military does not mean you are clean, you’re still human. My heart reaches out to those that may not even know they have HIV. Maybe he did not know or was scared to tell me? I cannot even find it in my heart to be bitter, I’m just scared. This has also put a dent in my eating disorder recovery. My mind is numb from thinking about it. I need someone to talk too. I am very scared and trying to keep an open-mind.

When is it to soon to get an hiv test? I was with him two weeks ago. I don't know if I can wait three months to get the test. Everywhere I read it says three months after event to get accurate results. I don't have insurance.

[RapidRod]

3 months post exposure is when you can obtain your conclusive test result.

[Mandakins]

The waiting is going to be tough. I thank you for your quick reply. I just don't know what to do with myself. I am still trying to contact him.

[Ann]

Mand,

Guess what? I'm hiv positive and I'M CLEAN TOO. I just had a shower a little while ago. To use the term clean to describe someone's sexual health is very insulting to those of us who are living with a virus. Don't use that language here again.

Asking someone if they're "clean" is no way to protect your sexual health. How can someone who isn't even aware they have hiv tell you that they have it? You need to wise up and start insisting on condoms, no matter who you're with.

If you've been having unprotected intercourse while relying on what someone tells you about their health, you may already be hiv positive and not know it. You could also have other infections like chlamydia, gonorrhea or syphilis without knowing - these infections can be present with no obvious symptoms. Wise up. You don't have to be promiscuous, it can take only one single time to become infected with an STI.

The earliest you should test is at six weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.


You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann