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Author Topic: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen  (Read 533388 times)

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Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,729
  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #250 on: June 06, 2008, 11:18:20 am »
Get home and make turkey sandwiches and call Mom and give her the results of my 'Consult" turned "Surgery" and then lie down and don't wake up until 6pm in time for 6pm meds. Decide to go to Griff's and have burgers for dinner (red meat to help replace my lost blood  )
...............................
Ron
I thought it was supposed to be soup after that kind of surgery. How are you doing now?

Joel

I was just thinking about the rigamarole I had to go through to get to that consult and all the fears I had been given regarding the blood thinners....as I come out of the daze I wonder, did I get stellar, state of the art, this is the year 2008 service, or was it almost a completely reckless and irrational act?

I asked him if I could eat and he said whatever I wanted. I just have to "swish" after meals to make sure there is nothing in that hole till it heals over.

The whole situation became so surreal when he said, I can have it out in 10 seconds, right now, today. I still have to stick my tongue back there to make sure I didn't just dream it all.

At the consult with the "regular" doctor to get a referral, I was told I would need to go off blood thinners three days before the procedure and would be taking Lovenox shots.....that didn't happen.

I was told that yesterday was just a consult and would be given a date for the surgery....instead I had the extraction right there.

I didn't bleed to death. I'm not really in too much pain, in fact I am more obsessed with the feeling of biting down and that tooth isn't there. The tooth that was next to it now feels absolutely huge.

He stated that it would be healed within five days. I felt like a 'Pioneer" when the women would give birth to babies out in the field and keep working...and then go home and cook..



« Last Edit: June 06, 2008, 11:39:27 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Winiroo

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  • Positive since 1991
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #251 on: June 06, 2008, 02:07:15 pm »
I had a molar pulled in 1997 because of an abscess. I asked them if I could have the tooth they looked at me like I was a total loony and said "No, it is a biohazard."

LOL because I have AIDS my teeth are biohazards and I am not allowed to keep them.

What a crock  ;D

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #252 on: June 06, 2008, 02:19:18 pm »
I know someone who keeps all the teeth he's lost on a necklace around his neck...kind of like a ZULU warrior or something.  He's into wrestling and all sorts of rough stuff so knocking teeth out may be a sport for him.  Come to think of it....maybe they are teeth from OTHER people.
I am making ceramic beads for a necklace....they look like teeth...lol.  When I'm done I'll show it to you.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Winiroo

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  • Positive since 1991
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #253 on: June 06, 2008, 02:24:19 pm »
I know someone who keeps all the teeth he's lost on a necklace around his neck...Come to think of it....maybe they are teeth from OTHER people.

Creeeeeepy LOL

Cant wait to see the necklace.

Offline rondrond

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  • Posts: 1,729
  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #254 on: June 06, 2008, 11:44:53 pm »
I had a molar pulled in 1997 because of an abscess. I asked them if I could have the tooth they looked at me like I was a total loony and said "No, it is a biohazard."

LOL because I have AIDS my teeth are biohazards and I am not allowed to keep them.

What a crock  ;D

Maybe you should consider having them all pulled...for your own safety of course. :D and for the safety of your boyfriend...just think of the contamination level from every little kiss.. ::)
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #255 on: June 07, 2008, 01:24:21 am »
Maybe you should consider having them all pulled...for your own safety of course. :D and for the safety of your boyfriend...just think of the contamination level from every little kiss.. ::)

I envy my otherhalf (BOB) he has a full set of dentures..........I have mostly all crowns, I had VERY GOOD Dental, back when I worked, but I have to replace them crowns every FIVE yrs. cuz that's all Ryan White will allow me to, (or only what the will cover) but I'm a good BOY, I brush & Floss twice a day sometimes 3 times a day..........I have to use my ASO's Ryan White Dental Program, cuz I don't qualify for medicade (I make too much, or so medicade says) I have some co-pays for dental, but they aren't that bad tho..........THANK GOD for Ryan White Dental, if it weren't for that, I wouldn't  have ANY Dental coverage at all................ :)
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 01:32:13 am by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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  • Posts: 1,729
  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #256 on: June 07, 2008, 07:26:40 am »
Joel,
a necklace of ceramic beads that look like teeth? Is this a seasonal apparel, like for Halloween?  :D

denb,
 I bet Bob envies your crowns. I bet you have a purty smile ;)

I fortunately, and in spite of my horrible dental care,  still have all of my teeth, minus the Wisdom Teeth and this one molar. Being born in the Panhandle of Texas and growing up drinking nothing but Artesian well water, my teeth are pretty strong. Every time I go to the dentist, and they take one look at my teeth, they know, and will proudly tell me where I was born.

When my Wisdom Teeth came in they were impacted. I had too many teeth in my mouth and there was no room for them. One Christmas I was eating some cookies made with nuts, and a piece of nut got stuck and got infected and my gum swoll up like an earthworm.

I was in my 20's.  and I have never been fond of going to the dentist, no matter how cute they may be, as they always seemed to hurt me, right after promising that "this isn't going to hurt"....."yeah, right"...He squashed my gums and all this gunk and the offending piece of nut came out. He gave me some antibiotics and told me that they needed to come out and to come back next week.

20 years later....I still had my wisdom teeth, by applying the dental technique I had observed:  if something gets stuck, squash it out. And it worked for 20 years. Then, one day, it didn't...

I found myself with a severe, down to the jaw and neck infection and since I thought I was dying, agreed to have them removed.

Mom brought me and was waiting for me, and when an inordinate amount of time had passed, decided to check on me. (I have terrible veins..they hide and go deep at the mere mention of a needle) So, when Mom found me, in surgery, she also noted that one of my shoes was missing....After being apprised of my situation, she asked if they had removed my shoe so I couldn't run away..again..(they had been looking for a vein and giving up had finally gassed me.)

 so...now I had absolutely no feeling in my mouth area, and it was full of gauze, and I had a prescription for Vicadent, in case of any pain...

.ronnie is holding a vicadent tablet and sticking it in his eye, nose, can't find his mouth...Mom looks at him...those are for when the anaesthesia wears off and pain starts..ronnie remembers the last thing the surgeon said before passing out...now this is going to be a small pinch...then...CRAAACK...then total blackness....and this memory, spurs me to find my pie hole and swallow this vicadent as I NEVER want to experience even the slightest pain I can think of that could be associated with that CRAAACK ...

ronnie looks at Mom and says...do you think the Tooth Fairy still has my address..I got four to go under the pillow tonight, and these must have accumulated interest by now...ronnie thinks he is smiling....i still believe
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Winiroo

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,082
  • Positive since 1991
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #257 on: June 07, 2008, 10:45:08 am »
Maybe you should consider having them all pulled...for your own safety of course. :D and for the safety of your boyfriend...just think of the contamination level from every little kiss.. ::)

LOL I doubt kissing would come to mind if I suddenly had no teeth. He'd be thinking about entertainment below the horizon.

I'll pass. I prefer to eat with my very own firmly secure chompers. We will just have to deal with what ever horrible afflictions come with me having a AIDS infested mouth. LOL

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #258 on: June 07, 2008, 11:29:45 am »
LOL I doubt kissing would come to mind if I suddenly had no teeth. He'd be thinking about entertainment below the horizon.

I'll pass. I prefer to eat with my very own firmly secure chompers. We will just have to deal with what ever horrible afflictions come with me having a AIDS infested mouth. LOL

Ronnie he's likes having dentures, but, I have to tell him to wear them (put them in when we leave to house).I told him he looks a lot better with them in his mouth, but he doesn't like to wear them all the time.......

Winiroo...I bet you have a purty smile and you are a wonderfull person  ;)
but, as far as I know........unless you have any beelding gums or bad teeth, form what I was told by most dentist..you cannot pass HIV to someone else that way, unless they have a open-sore in there mouth, and you have beelding gums.... There have been some reported cases or mouth to mouth HIV infections, but it's VERY RARE........and NO, you do not have an AIDS infested mouth, did you know that Salvia KILLS most HIV bacteria that lives in your mouth? YES Salvia is a wonderfull thing, and we all have it  :) but please understand, that the jury is STILL OUT on any of this, and it all depends on just who you talk to about it, most Dentist as well as some Doctors.....might tell you something TOTALLY DIFFERENT
but I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you  ;D  Good Oral Hygiene is VERY Important for us HIV'ers, and it's half the battle  :)

My otherhalf is HIV-NEG, and still is NEG after 15 yrs. and he has NO Teeth (dentures)..........I have good dental Hygiene, maybe that's why he has NEVER become HIV-POZ (not that he's trying to get HIV).....or maybe he's just lucky........my doctor told me he could be amuned to HIV, but the funny thing in all of this is......we both have the same Blood Type 0 + poz, maybe that has something to do with it too..............dunno?
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 12:17:45 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #259 on: June 07, 2008, 12:14:48 pm »
denb...LOL...my Gmom loved her dentures too. She got sick and tired of bridges ? and playing with the dentist who wanted out pull one here and then one there...she finally just took matters in her own hands  and pulled the rest of her teeth herself just so she could get dentures.  :D

I've heard about saliva killing the virus and that's one of the reasons for the controversy of oral sex.

Now that I'm getting myself all fixed up maybe I'll try one of these support groups and meet some people. 8)
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #260 on: June 07, 2008, 12:26:36 pm »
denb...LOL...my Gmom loved her dentures too. She got sick and tired of bridges ? and playing with the dentist who wanted out pull one here and then one there...she finally just took matters in her own hands  and pulled the rest of her teeth herself just so she could get dentures.  :D

I've heard about saliva killing the virus and that's one of the reasons for the controversy of oral sex.

Now that I'm getting myself all fixed up maybe I'll try one of these support groups and meet some people. 8)

Yes everything us HIV'ers do seems to be of some controversy, oral sex, bareback sex, or whatever...........as for the HIV-support groups go....I stay away form all of them, (I already have someone to sleep next to at night)........and I have been to most supports groups, but all they seem to do, is try to pick-up-each other, and they almost NEVER talk about HIV...........don't get me wrong ronnie, but, I suppose if your looking for love, that might be a good place to start, and if you do........ GOOD LUCK, (I'd go out and look somewhere else, if i were you) my expirence with support groups have NOT been very good, not to mention the fact that they treat my otherhalf of 15 yrs. LIKE SHIT, cuz he's not HIV-POZ.............so I don't go to any of them, to me they are kinda worthless  ??? I have lived in a lotta places in my 20 yrs. of having HIV, and I can tell you THIS, most ASO's Support Groups are all that way, they all think that way, so that's why I can't be bothered with any of them.........I cannot understand why people can be so MEAN!  ??? we are a discorrdent couple (he's NEG & I'm POZ) I find it VERY interesting that it seems to bother most people........
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 12:38:02 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #261 on: June 07, 2008, 12:32:22 pm »
Winiroo...I bet you have a purty smile and you are a wonderfull person  ;)
but, as far as I know........unless you have any beelding gums or bad teeth, form what I was told by most dentist..you cannot pass HIV to someone else that way, unless they have a open-sore in there mouth, and you have beelding gums.... There have been some reported cases or mouth to mouth HIV infections, but it's VERY RARE........and NO, you do not have an AIDS infested mouth, did you know that Salvia KILLS most HIV bacteria that lives in your mouth? YES Salvia is a wonderfull thing, and we all have it  :) but please understand, that the jury is STILL OUT on any of this, and it all depends on just who you talk to about it, most Dentist as well as some Doctors.....might tell you something TOTALLY DIFFERENT
but I wouldn't worry too much about it, if I were you  ;D  Good Oral Hygiene is VERY Important for us HIV'ers, and it's half the battle  :)


Thank you!

I'm aware of the oral risks. I was just trying to be funny.
My partner is positive and its a non issue for me.

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #262 on: June 07, 2008, 12:37:57 pm »
quote
she finally just took matters in her own hands  and pulled the rest of her teeth herself just so she could get dentures.
..................................................................
Now that must have been fun. (NOT)  How did she do it?  And how many did she have to pull ?  Were they real loose?
MY Mom refused to get dentures.....I honestly think she did not want to spend the money ...since she was already 93 and probably would be dead soon. She died at 97 and still had a few teeth.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #263 on: June 07, 2008, 12:39:24 pm »
Thank you!

I'm aware of the oral risks. I was just trying to be funny.
My partner is positive and its a non issue for me.

 ;D Good for you!
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Winiroo

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  • Positive since 1991
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #264 on: June 07, 2008, 12:41:17 pm »
Jeez LOL I was so absorbed in the oral sex I missed that Gmom pulled her own teeth out.

Oh criminy !

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #265 on: June 07, 2008, 03:13:29 pm »
My Gmom was quite a character. She was from Finland and they have some pretty strange customs over there, but she was most affected by WWI, and learned how to become very frugal and did not like spending money on things she could do herself.

I believe she had the front 2, top and bottom, and then maybe about 2-3 on each side. Used a pair of pliers and It was a process, she did not just stand there and go pull, pull, pull.   But her teeth were probably ready to come out as every time she went to the dentist, he seemed to pull a tooth. She believed he only wanted money and so was dragging it out.

denb, thanks but I have been to support groups before and no I am not looking for love. I have been alone far too long and would probably drive any one who showed any interest in me to the loony bin. This time around with the Aids Outreach Center has been so different than it was in 1993, that I thought that I would go and see if it was the same.

I am fixing my self up for my own self esteem. I used to be a singer in The Fort Worth Men's Chorus and know where to go to find a 'nice man' if I decide to go down that road. However, I am always looking for a friend.

Now, Joel, I am still waiting to hear about a ceramic tooth necklace.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 03:34:39 pm by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,048
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #266 on: June 07, 2008, 09:08:23 pm »
My Gmom was quite a character. She was from Finland and they have some pretty strange customs over there, but she was most affected by WWI, and learned how to become very frugal and did not like spending money on things she could do herself.

I believe she had the front 2, top and bottom, and then maybe about 2-3 on each side. Used a pair of pliers and It was a process, she did not just stand there and go pull, pull, pull.   But her teeth were probably ready to come out as every time she went to the dentist, he seemed to pull a tooth. She believed he only wanted money and so was dragging it out.

denb, thanks but I have been to support groups before and no I am not looking for love. I have been alone far too long and would probably drive any one who showed any interest in me to the loony bin. This time around with the Aids Outreach Center has been so different than it was in 1993, that I thought that I would go and see if it was the same.

I am fixing my self up for my own self esteem. I used to be a singer in The Fort Worth Men's Chorus and know where to go to find a 'nice man' if I decide to go down that road. However, I am always looking for a friend.

Now, Joel, I am still waiting to hear about a ceramic tooth necklace.
...........LOL! don't worry Ronnie you have Kattie to do that for you (drive you to the loony bin).......I commend you on just dealing with that all the time, but hey she's your family, at least you stepped up to the plate to take care of her  ;) and in my book that's says a lot about who you are as a person  :)

Yeah....Support Groups are NOTHING like they used to be, and it's a real shame too, everything isn't always about the (so Called, hook-up) some people are just very lonely..........but, I choose NOT to deal with any of the DRAMA QUEENS & JEALOUSY.............come to mention it, I Haven't been to a Gay Bar in well over 15yrs. but, I don't drink anymore (stopped that 10 yrs ago when I went on disability)............what I'm trying to say is....most people ( the Youngs ones Gays & the younger HIV'ers) nowadays just don't have any manners and they just don't have good people skills, I suppose being RUDE is the norm now....................anyway........there are a lotta other places you can go to meet NICE people ( I'm sure some of us well mannered folks) are still around  :)...........I really don't don't understand the young ones anymore...guess that's what happens when you get old  ???
« Last Edit: June 07, 2008, 09:18:44 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #267 on: June 08, 2008, 12:51:43 am »
The last time I went to a Support Group in 1993, they were a real horny bunch of fellas and ,yeah, thats all they talked about, sex, sex, sex....and being , new, and still reeling from the diagnosis, I got caught up and actually wound up moving in with someone who proclaimed his undying love for me.

His lover had just died, and the condo was full of this persons pictures and things everywhere and I always felt like an intruder, and the feeling that I would never be good enough to replace what had been lost.  I had to write my feelings down and have a psychiactric nurse (who was also a minister at a 'Holy Roller' Gay Church) read it to him.

 There was also a problem with my dog, Darcell, as he was jealous of the attention I gave her and I would come home to find her under the table and wouldn't come out to greet me. Suspecting he was abusing her had my bags packed and moving out the next day.

My last week to go to the Support Group was a night they termed show and tell. At that time, I had moved a seriously ill drag queen, he was already exhibiting signs of dementia, of which I knew nothing about and and was almost sucked into it with him. Chuck, whom I brought into my home thinking, as most newbie Care Takers do, that I could fix him and bring him back to health.

After he died, I had to dispose of his personal items that he had made me promise not to let his parents see. He was an accomplished seamstress, having made all of his own clothes/dresses, using beadwork and they were very lovely gowns.

He was also a Leatherman, and was Mr Leather??person at one time and had all of this leather and a bag FULL of dildos of every size, from a small finger to my leg :o  and he was not very tall.

Not knowing what to do with the things, I brought them to Show and Tell, where they all found loving homes. :D
« Last Edit: June 08, 2008, 02:02:49 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,729
  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #268 on: June 08, 2008, 01:22:00 am »
I guess, the trauma of being awake and experiencing my tooth extraction has caught up to me. I was awake a 6am as I had to wake up Katie as she had a 7am pickup to go to Luck Optical to get her new glasses. I took my 6am meds.

 I remember sitting in front of the computer for awhile and then getting up going to the store. This is Friday, Grocery day. I got home @11am and laid down to elevate my leg as it was feeling real tight and was real shiny. Both of my legs felt like they just wanted to drop off my body. And I almost wished they would.

Then I was waking up and it was 930pm. I started to chide Katie for letting me sleep past my med time, when I notice that her chair was laid back and her arms were outstretched and she was snoring like a sailor. Apparently, she was at Luck Optical for 5 hours, waiting for her glasses, and then MITS does not just bring you straight home, they have other clients, so she had passed out too.

So, I took my 6pm meds at 930pm and as it was late, I ran to Whataburger, as I did not feel like cooking.

I am still not feeling any pain from the surgery, just a dull ache, and definitely mustn't forget not to chew on the left side! There must have been a really bad infection going on as my neck hurts down into my shoulder and there is some swelling under my jaw line. I get to see Dr Debbie on Monday. I guess I need to make a new list.

This extra dose of Gabapentin. Sometimes the toes on the left foot feel normal, but the right toes are still the same...numb. But, It's only been 2, 3 ? days....I wish I could see that velvet hammer coming before it knocks me out. I am constantly jerking awake on the way to the floor from the chair. (maybe I can find a chair with a seatbelt)

Only three more days of this antibiotic. I'm scared to stop it. I think that I have grown to like this poopy. What's the big deal of having a solid turd?

Walking any distance,  it's now mostly my upper thighs that just aaaache....
« Last Edit: June 08, 2008, 01:54:59 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Ann

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #269 on: June 08, 2008, 05:17:53 am »
What's the big deal of having a solid turd?

I say that to myself all the time. ;) ;D

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  

"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #270 on: June 08, 2008, 11:12:26 am »
What's the big deal of having a solid turd?

I say that to myself all the time. ;) ;D



Ronnie.....LOL I'm sure you did find loving homes for most of them Items, I bet it was like being at a WHITE SALE at JC Penneys or the Blue-light-sale at K-mart  ;D..........now that would have been something to see  :D all them Queens snacthin & grappin whatever they could get.............LOL  ;D..and I bet some of them just made a beeline for them dildos.........ROFLOL  ;D

   ;D I can relate to that as well, as I haven't had a solid turd in well over 15 years, but that's the PRICE we all pay for all of the HIV MEDS we have to take, just to stay alive  ??? it's keeps me nice and slim.....so, I guess there's is a good side to all of this  :-\
« Last Edit: June 08, 2008, 11:29:44 am by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #271 on: June 08, 2008, 02:00:03 pm »
Some said that it was the best meeting they had ever had. I did not bring them all out at once, but one at a time as the meeting went on, feigning innocence with each revelation as to what they could possibly be. :D
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #272 on: June 08, 2008, 02:29:26 pm »
Some said that it was the best meeting they had ever had. I did not bring them all out at once, but one at a time as the meeting went on, feigning innocence with each revelation as to what they could possibly be. :D

I bet...........Ronnie......"No good deed go's Unpunished"  ;D.......if I don't have any use for somethings, I'll just give it away........my Otherhalf told me that I should sell (Old Things) but I NEVER do...........I figure, if someone can use it, then, my work is DONE  :D.............nothing wrong with giving, when you give, it changes you for the better  ;D
« Last Edit: June 08, 2008, 02:31:20 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #273 on: June 09, 2008, 08:44:20 am »
Did you know that 6am, almost looks like 6pm?

Here we go again. My body has made some adjustments.

Sunday afternoon, I went to the toilet with the feeling that I was going to burst open, and it was a feeling that came upon me with a quickness. I sat there and flatulated forever. This is different. Since starting that antibiotic over a month ago, I have done nothing but serious business on the toilet, no farting around. When through, I turned and looked and there was actually a few small snakes down there.  8)

I still have feelings of urgency and the frequency has not changed, but as the day progressed I was either farting or making small snakes.  :-\  Having been 'fooled' before, I squelched thoughts that my diarrhea ordeal might be coming to an end. :)

After 6am meds, I was at the computer and there is a curio cabinet with Katie's Cobalt Blue Glass (Blue) right in front of me. For her birthday, she got a cobalt plate, with candles and shiny beads and she wanted it in the cabinet. I can't argue with anything that will keep dusting, especially thousands of pieces of bric-a-brac, to a minimum.

So, I started to rearrange this stuff to make room for this candle arrangement:



and then, after putting it all back in I had to wipe my fingerprints off everything I had touched:



and then, after putting it all back in I had to wipe my fingerprints off everything I had touched:



and then, might as well clean up the area...*note* this does not look like this all the time, especially after the mail run and the pile of Bills Due, and snacks.. Roll Eyes



Dusting is a very exhausting cardio moment and I had to have a lie down. Woke up @ 630 pm to Katie's voice.."ronnie, did you take your meds?" So up and atum atom ant...and grab the deck broom and go sweep the deck. Man, it was 97 outside, so that's all that got done outside today. Showered and dinner was sauteed chicken breast and with rice and beans with sweet onion, fresh strawberries and cheesecake.

Velvet hammer hit me around 11pm and I hit the couch. Awoke at 2am and could not go back asleep. An urgent trip to the toilet was very productive. Long snakes. I want to say that I am cured of diarrhea, but I know the minute I do....doodoo will doodoo....the jury is still out. I'll give it another day.

It appears that as the infection in my jaw lessens, so does my diarrhea. ....weird...

Patiently awaiting...maybe not so patiently...but waiting for 11am for Doc appointment. 5am found me remembering that Sit and Be Fit was on channel 13. So I participated. Got a kitchen chair, a towel, and a squishy ball. I was ready to go through the motions feeling like..."this is Kiddie Korner"....when she had us stand up next to our chairs and stand on our toes.

Neuropathy immediately screamed its displeasure by my ankle burning, itching and my arch tried to cramp. OK, we'll go slowly on that one and let's chalk one up for Miss Mary Ann Wilson Rn, she got me.  :-\

Then we were to bend a leg and with it bent turn it to the outside. Every clotted nerve and vein had shots of electricity running up and down my leg..ok..you got me again...Miss Mary... :-\
Fortunately, for me, we were now allowed to sit back down and roll the ball under our feet...piece of cake....then with the ball under the arch, turn your ankle side to side....NEUROPATHY, ankle screamed, alright ... MARY   >:(
I did it, 30 minutes was over and she was all smiles. Good Job.

I remember the agony of going to physical therapy when my back was hurt in 1991. All the seemingly impossible and painful things they would force me to do. The motto of Pain Management classes...on the very first day, the instructor came in and the first words out of her mouth were "You are in Pain...we know you are in pain....we don't want to hear it"..O.o ...



« Last Edit: June 10, 2008, 05:50:59 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #274 on: June 09, 2008, 11:24:41 am »
OMG....your a busy boy Ron. What with documenting toilet visits and dusting!!!  I think I need a drink. :-*
Quote you: Man, it was 97 outside, so that's all that gone outside today. Showered and dinner was sauteed chicken breast and with rice and beans with sweet onion, fresh strawberries and cheesecake.

Well, we ordered in last night. Kurt was going to cook because we went out Saturday night to have a BIRTHDAY DINNER with an old friend of ours. Old in every sense of the word....the poor dear is 75 and had a stroke a few years ago.  He is also HIV positive and on meds.  He is ALSO about to go in the hospital to have some little tumors frozen off his kidneys.  So we wanted to really do a nice birthday for him and got together a group of 7 people and went to a nice restaurant.  The bill wasnt too high as far as these things go...what with drinks before dinner and drinks with dinner and a la carte ordering......the total bill was around 360 dollars, split 6 ways was 60 bucks apiece.
So last night Kurt was going to cook but I reminded him it was 99 degrees out.   I had just sold off our two older air conditioners to our neighbors two doors down...a group of recent coillege graduates...really cute kids....for 25 dollars. ( Remember I am trying to clean out the basement.)  Hey 25 dollars is better than putting them out on the curb for trash.  So we were 25 dollars ahead and could afford to order in.  At least that was my reasoning.  ;D
We had Chinese....my favorite lite Chinese food is either chicken and brocolli or beef and brocolli and I choose the beef while Kurt was having a craving for sweet so he had the General Tsaos chicken.
modified to add:  LOVE the blue glass collection.  Kurt says all bottoms like blue glass!  ;D ;D
« Last Edit: June 09, 2008, 11:28:16 am by bear60 »
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #275 on: June 10, 2008, 12:36:15 am »
LOL...Joel, ..Chinese birthday dinner for a friend..$360.00....a night out with friends...priceless.

At least you've got started on the basement. I haven't even looked at the key to unlock the door.

My Chinese favorite is Pork Fried Rice/Chicken Fried Rice from Ming Wok, or the Asian House. (they even deliver) ;)

Oh, Dr Debbie, Dr, Debbie...what am I to do?  Blood pressure was 139/96. So, I have yet another pill added to my regime: Lisinopril. I was depressed over this as I am 'doing'  and my body is not cooperating. I don't want to be taking all these pills. I want to find the cause and fix it.

Then, my PT/INR was at 1.8 ...supposed to be at 2.0-3.0 .....so my warfarin has been upped to 9mgs from 8 mgs.

And because when it rains it pours....Cookie, Katie's aide called and her bus driving job has become too demanding on her time and she is ..ill...some kind of walking pneumonia...so she has given her notice. This means another round of interviewing and training a new aide, with me doing everything in the interim. This is not too devastating, as I already do much of everything. It's just the personal hygiene that I feel she should have another woman helping her there (actually, anyone , but me) though in the past 12 years, I have seen and done things I doubt even a husband would do. :o

And then there's that potty bucket... :o

So tonight, dinner was chicken breast with rice in an Alfredo sauce. Every now and then my stint as a chef in a gay  Italian restaurant in Dallas, Peppino's, leaks out. I used to cook for 400 people a night and was the typical tyrant. I would get so keyed up that I would send the kitchen help screaming to the back room if a pan I needed was not clean and they were standing there trying not to break a nail.

Robert, the owner, reserved the right to hire the kitchen staff and they were mostly drag queens, and I would get so mad sometimes that I would throw the pan against a wall, bringing Robert from the dining area to see who had upset "Mister Ron" and trying to soothe everyones nerves while I would then go off on a waiter who had just slipped a ticket in for a table that had been waiting for 20 minutes and had already finished their salad and appetizers and wanted Steak Marsalis "WELL DONE"...and I'm like "well, you better comp them a bottle of wine as I don't do  microwaves and well done takes awhile"..

.and then throw another pan at a drag queen who did not want to wash dishes as she was in "full face makeup" as she had a show after getting off work and the steam would ruin her makeup.... >:(






« Last Edit: June 10, 2008, 08:49:22 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #276 on: June 10, 2008, 09:46:27 am »
Hi
you wrote:          LOL...Joel, ..Chinese birthday dinner for a friend..$360.00....a night out with friends...priceless.
..............................
O the brain fog!!  Well...no we didnt have a Chinese birthday dinner. These were two different events: one being dinner out at a nice restaurant and the other being a quickie "order in" Chinese at home.  The restaurant where we went for the birthday party for our friend serves an "american" menu.  It is also owned by one of the nicest gay men in town.  He has been very active in local LGBT events and fundraisers and has donated lots of money to good causes.  THATS WHY I like to patronize his restaurant.  Mike from Ohio had dinner there when he was in town a few weeks ago.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #277 on: June 10, 2008, 11:04:15 am »
I like to patronize Gay Establishments also, and do so on a consistant basis, as long as they give good service. I have been in Gay Businesses where the service just plain...sucked...with teeth..and I will never go back.

The Velvet Hammer hit me @midnight and went to sleep, on the couch, for two hours. Laid back down and awoke again after another two hours. Could not go to back to sleep. 530am found me in front of the TV with a kitchen chair, towel and a small ball.

Mary Ann Wilson RN greeted me holding a larger red ball than yesterday. ??? As they went to commercial, I feverishly ransacked the house looking for a blue ball that Katie's grandkids play with and could not find it. Even looked in the garage real quick. No telling where it will turn up, after time is up for ME to need it. :(

I improvised with the top of the foot stool that has a round lid that comes off,  exposing a storage area. It worked for everything but when she started to roll it around her body. ..sigh..

Then, instead of a towel, she had what she called an exercise band. It looked like a rubber towel/sash. So, I improvised with my towel. I was just thinking that I was wasting my time, when, suddenly, I noticed that I had broke a sweat. Mary Ann had got me again. I wonder how much more it would have been if I had had the proper equipment?

One of the reasons I liked Margaret Richards /Body Electric was that she gave a list of things you would need before the show began. But, Margaret,  dear,  is too advanced for me. It's really kind of embarrassing to only do two reps instead of 20, to be sitting instead of moving and swinging. sigh...one day...

The buzzer on the dryer has just gone off. I have already done two loads of laundry, and rolled the trash bins to the curb. They keep promising rain, but so far...Nada....When Katie gets up will probably have to strip her bed.

Need to call Lenscrafters to see if my glasses are in. Call the dentist to schedule an appointment for cleaning, now that the offending tooth is gone.
Almost ready for a haircut as I took the scissors out last night and trimmed the hair that was tickling my ear. They know me well enough now as they will comment "I see you got started on the cut without me"....which is my red flag that I need a haircut when I take the scissors to it.

My bum leg is already swollen and tight, and I haven't been anywhere, just doing house chores. And that opens a tucked away for later bit of info that Dr Debbie threw at me. She suggested that I might think about seeing a cardiovascular specialist at JPS since I was classified on Ryan White now...that's another TODO...

Is there a test for asthma? Another tucked away bit floats out that she is concerned about me always being out of breath. She asked if I had ever had asthma. I wouldn't know asthma if it sat on my lap and said "Hello"....I keep attributing shortness of breath to Bi Lateral Pulmonary Emboli...and they know I have multiple diagnosis'...so why bring up this asthma thing?...another TODO...

and I thought that not working...meant..not working...sigh....

« Last Edit: June 12, 2008, 06:30:44 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #278 on: June 11, 2008, 12:19:00 am »
So, with my new goals determined, I start making phone calls. I call LensCrafters, and my caseworker, Paula at PMC.

It turned out that LensCrafters had my glasses in and they were ready for pickup. Katie was getting up and Caller ID shows a strange name and number which she goes ahead and answers. It was a girl named Charlotte who is going to take Cookie's place and she was wanting to know when she could start. O_O ...this was different.

I'm mumbling in the background to Katie as she is trying to talk on the phone (irritating, isn't it?) I'm saying that she needs to have a background check first and no she can't just come over without going through the proper channels. Katie pauses the conversation to inform me that she has already done so.

I leave to go pick up my glasses and to go to pick up a few things at the store. While at WalMart, I see one of those blood pressure machines, just sitting there waiting for someone to put their arm in it and push the button. So, I sit and shove my arm in this cuff, which is quite a tight fit, and push start. The readout says 115/36...0.o. ...Either the doctors machine is broken, or this machine is broken, or I am now over medicated on blood pressure meds. :-\

Get home and Charlotte has parked right in the middle of the driveway, >.< So I have to park in the street. Meet Charlotte and Katie has been showing her the routine.

Phone rings and it is JPS Financial Aid returning my call from the other day. After a lengthy discussion, and even more discussion, I lose. At the time I was classified last year, I had too much money and assetts, (more to the point, my IRA,, and my saving account) and this bill could not be revoked..."couldn't you just make a monthly payment?".....to which I reply "I haven' worked since last July, that "savings account" you are looking at is almost at zero. I am already thinking of "liquifying" my IRA, and then I will looking for housing on the streets....

I am still waiting on a decision from SSDI, and until that time, NO, I can't make payments on a bill, that she admitted I would not have if I had appealed in October as they had changed the requirements and I would have qualified then. >.< ..I had just been released from the hospital in August, and was still not in a proper mental state of mind,  barely functioning to meet the basics of living and NO...I can't make any payments on a bill that I wouldn't have because my "timing" is off? ((>.<))

So I just flatly state, great, so now I can continue to ignore any call I don't recognize on Caller ID  She did tell me *cough,cough* out the side of her mouth and I did not hear it from her that if a creditor called, I could state "do not call me anymore" and by law, they could not call me anymore. Of course, that is going to help my credit rating and not to mention that there is always snail mail with those "this is an attempt to collect a debt" letters. Before I said anything that would burn any potential bridges, I had to end the call.

I called the dentist to schedule a cleaning and got a recording, again. Left another message.

Received a notice in the mail that I have a follow up on my Oral Surgery on July 8th.

Paula called and advised me on how to get to a consult with a Cardiovascular Specialist to address this heaviness in my legs, varicose veins forming in my "good" leg, sharp shooting pain in my knee cap, again on my "good" leg and my shortness of breath. *Good leg is defined as the leg that did not have the DVT.* 

I have to start paying attention and putting things together better. I have services available to me that I am not using because I am ignorant, or just not paying attention, or have lost the ability to recognize. I have got to ensure that my "timing" is not off any more. ..and then..maybe I am already running like the White Rabbit...."I'm late, I'm late." and then I'm Alice.."but, what am I late for?"....

This reality fell out of the sky and landed on the table right in front of me:  Now that I am classified at JPS, that Dr Gavini I saw to get the referral to my Oral surgery, is now "my doctor" to get other services at JPS. So, tomorrow, I will call her and see what she can do about getting me a referral to a cardiovascular specialist as this is going to look good on my medical record for SSDI.  ;) (the more medical procedures on my record, the better my case)

Reality: I have been avoiding doctors and procedures as I am afraid of being admitted to the hospital. I HATE being in the hospital. Not being in control of anything there or at home or anywhere. Also afraid that I might not ever leave the hospital. weird

Gotta get a grip. call about this cardiovascular business. It should at least  help alleve some of my fears related to blood clots. I have heard from several people that a sharp pain behind the kneecap is a sign of a blood clot in the works. My right foot is having cold spasm all over and my ankle is hurting. Something is not right with my foot. But, "you're on warfarin"...yeah, but, "it has to be in therapeutic range to work, and mine apparently is not in therapeutic range being at 1.8, which means that a clot could be forming".....I just don't want another hospital stay...being an outpatient is for me....

I don't have to worry about the yard as it's so hot nothing is growing. Not even that grass seed I put out last month  >:( 

Katie pulls out this strange looking package,  and it's an exercise band! She's been holding out on me. Aren't I lucky that I have Mary Ann Wilson RN at 530am showing me how to Sit and be Fit?

Handed Katie JW's Fathers Day card so we can get it in the mail, It has a cowboy boot on it and when you open it plays 'boot scootin boogie'....Then I'm hollering at Katie who's getting ready for bed...."this is a Fathers Day card....you put Happy Birthday"..so I tell her to add, "on being a father" so it says" happy birthday on being a father"and then I think, maybe you should have just put a line through it and rewrote it....eh...he'll just know it's from us and listen to the music.  ::)

« Last Edit: June 11, 2008, 05:29:35 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #279 on: June 12, 2008, 12:18:32 am »
530am and I'm in my kitchen chair in front of the TV. I have my small orange ball, (still haven't found the bigger blue ball), towel and the exercise band. Good thing too, as this was the day for upper body workout using the 'band'.

At 10 am Called Dr G to make an appointment to discuss my legs and "when can you be here?.."huh?"...when can you get here?"...you mean today?....and what's available?"..."how about 11am?"..."one hour?"...this is the quickest appointment I have ever made, and now, I have to make myself halfway presentable to the world...

Wake up Katie and am running out the door, and then back in to the toilet. ::)  Sign in and am waiting to see Dr G which is seeming to take a long time as suddenly the Velvet Hammer hits and I want to go to sleep. Have my blood pressure taken 136/86. After remarking that it is better than last time, I remark that it should be after two Atenolol and the added Lisinopril.

I told her about the heaviness in my legs and the feeling of ants biting on my foot and ankle, and the numbness in my toes and my inner left thigh/groin area and I get some 'new info' as she relates that the inner thigh numbness could be part of the neuroapthy...

After much discussion, she decided to start with my knee pain and my shortness of breath. I had an XRAY done there, which she will have the results on in two days, and she will make a referral to JPS for an echocardiogram and a  pulmonary function test. By now, my foot feels like ants are biting it, and I had to have help getting off the XRAY table...

I cannot lie flat on my back. It immediately awakens great pain in my lower back and down my legs. And then getting up,  I have to roll over to my right side and do a sort of push up and roll forward and the pain in my back "on a scale of 1-10, went to 100 plus some vocalization...."

I got home and went right to sleep and woke up at 6m only because Katie woke me up to remind me to go take my meds. My sinuses were burning and I thought I was getting sick there for a moment. but they finally stopped burning. I felt so bad, I skipped my shave and shower, which usually only makes me feel worse, but ....

Dinner was chicken breast, ranch style beans with rice and jalapenos, and then strawberry yogurt...

Then Katie states that Dr Debbie called to confirm my appointment for tomorrow...??...and I'm like, no, it's on Friday, and she says, no, so, I will have to call in the morning to see whats up....of course, I expect to be right as I remember remarking that it would be on Friday the 13th.... 8)

« Last Edit: June 12, 2008, 12:22:41 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

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  • 22 years HIV+ yet a yard could be the death of me
Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #280 on: June 13, 2008, 12:58:50 am »
I finally received a call from the Dental Clinic. There should be an opening on July 1st. I called in refills for my Warfarin.

I have Labs tomorrow. (Friday the 13th.)

I am going to have to insist on seeing Dr Debbie. In anticipation of an upcoming echocardiogram I was shaving my body hair down. Having previously been surrounded by grinning nurses with razors and remarks of  "my, you're a hairy one", and shaving bald spots allover that did nothing to prevent the surrounding hair to stick like glue and pull hair out with their removal, I was determined to be proactive and prevent from having this unnecessary pain inflicted upon me again.

I was looking in the mirror and giving myself more than the casual glance in the mirror, when I saw something. It looked like a bruise, but I have done nothing that would leave a bruise. 

This is the area that is part of the numbness I have been experiencing in my left inner thigh and groin area. I calmly had Katie take these pictures and then went to my bedroom and cried. I don't know why. ok, I do know why. The first thing that filled my mind was.."I have KS" ..However, I have never seen KS so don't know for sure. I'm trying to think of how I could have possibly bruised myself otherwise.




To say that I am scared shitless, would be an understatement.... this is going to be a long night.

« Last Edit: June 13, 2008, 01:01:04 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #281 on: June 13, 2008, 07:57:11 am »
Hey Ron
I'm not a doctor , but I have had KS and that doesn't look like KS to me . 
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Offline edfu

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #282 on: June 13, 2008, 08:43:45 am »
I'm not a doctor either, but I, too, have had KS, and that doesn't look like KS to me.  Check out my post "Is It KS (or Something Else)?," several posts down from yours on the Long-Term Survivors site. 
« Last Edit: June 13, 2008, 08:46:31 am by edfu »
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #283 on: June 13, 2008, 09:44:35 am »
Jeff, edfu,
Thanks. I am probably being a silly old queen. I actually fell asleep last night. My appointment is in one hour.

Thank you for reminding me of the links. Maybe, I am just going through the 'aging process'. I definitely meet the criteria.  ;)

ronnie
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #284 on: June 13, 2008, 09:51:07 am »
First of all we should never, ever, diagnose over the internet. Have your doctor take a look. Secondly and respectfully, you really need to be careful about posting pics on this site. There are thousands of folks looking for excuses to obsess about every pimple and hangnail. Folks will take your pic and run with it to self diagnose the worst case scenario.

Offline bear60

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #285 on: June 13, 2008, 09:55:12 am »
Hi Ron
Well, I've never had KS but I have experienced strange and unusual healing.  As I have gotten older, I have noticed healing that would have been done and overwith in a matter of months to take years and there is still serious discoloration where the wound was.  
Now as for you....since you are on blood thinners, I can tell you that this  thing is probably more likely a bruise...and because of the blood thinners...is redder than normal.  BUT THATS NOT A DIAGNOSIS JUST A GUESS.
Kurt is on blood thinners too and I can tell you that when he gets aven the smallest cut it takes forever to clot.  The last time he got a little cut on a finger, he bled all night and soiled the sheets and that was WITH a bandage on.
I know you will be fine, hun.  Relax.
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #286 on: June 13, 2008, 10:25:39 am »
That looks like a scar from someone's high heels, queen.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #287 on: June 13, 2008, 02:01:17 pm »
And the winner is...Joel.

Doctor has determined that it is bruising from the blood thinners. I am now on 9mgs daily and am supposed to treat myself like a China Doll.....(without high heels....just in case :D)

So, now, I need to rethink this green vegetable thing that Dr Adams gave me permission to eat and he would adjust the coumadin level. Well, I have now had my coumadin adjusted upwards twice and now have bruising.  F*** the green vegetables, I saaaayy.

I also am having doubts as he is a nice man, but  I was advised that on the 26th, I would be his last patient as he is retiring. I could look at this two ways:

1) be very scared of anything he says because ...."he's outta here" and I don't know if he's voluntary or forced retirement and how does he feel about it.

2)  be alert  of getting every dream RX on my wish list as ...he's retiring and ..."he's outta here"..and he doesn't care..

Either way, When I go get my echo and pulmonary test, when they ask, "how are you feeling today?", I will point to my bruise and say 'ouch' and get a second opinion.

Today is Friday the 13th, grocery day. Mary Ann Wilson RN of Sit and be Fit must know her stuff as I was able to go aisle five before my back started hurting instead of my usual pain alert at aisle three.

Got the groceries put away and am now ignoring the paper shredder, as Charlotte was shredding Katie's junk mail and clogged it up. Cookie used to do the same thing..and I'm singing.."it only has a 12 paper capacity, then let it cool, no you can't shove all those credit card checks in there at one time, especially folded up like that...immediate jamb......

now where is that trusty 'special' tool that I have to dig that paper out without having to take this thing apart?  :-\




« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 12:01:26 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #288 on: June 14, 2008, 12:38:57 am »
Oh the majesty of nature. Just look at those three magnificent pine trees in my neighbors yard. they are so Tall, and lovely to look at.



and yet, they are over there, and I am over here...yet, twice a year, I get to share in the joy of a special time enjoyed by all who allow these majestic beauties to grow: if you notice, their yard is...white, and the driveway is white and my driveway and front curb are white, and the bed of my truck is full as we celebrate in the SHEDDING of every single needle on those bad boys:



and, my joy as I ..shhhwoop, shhwoop, shhwoop, from the side of the garage, to the front of the garage, and up the fence line along the drive way and out on the street , and along the the front curb: hmmm, when they put on the new roof, they took down the rain gutters. I need to find a way to clean those bottom bricks on each side of the garage door...the water hose alone ain't getting the job done....and probably think of some new rain gutters. only really need a small one , right over the garage door...



and I do this ritual of sweeping at least once a week, some times twice a week, making these cute little piles of needles:



that I then sshhhwwooop into the grass and spread around and then mulch when I mow. Thank goodness, I am not at a loss for these opportunities for 'cardio' . See, my shirt is dripping wet, from sweat, as am I....



So, I awoke at 530pm and after taking my meds and putting on my trusty hiking boots, took the 18" hedge clippers to the hedges and vines on the fence in the front and back yard. Especially, those new hedges, I have discovered in the back yard.

Then I swept up my daily allotment of pine needles. This is the first "shedding" of the year. It started two weeks ago and will last until it's over. When it's really coming down, neighbors roof and yard are completely covered. This is mainly because they are disabled and don't sweep or rake. Usually the neighbors across the street and I get involved when we can't stand looking at it any more.  >:(

 Across the street gets more involved as this woman is a nosey b***h  and being a loud mouth broadcasting the whole process of her 'good samaritan'  deeds, letting all in earshot know that she is a 'good' person.  ::)



« Last Edit: June 14, 2008, 05:58:09 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #289 on: June 14, 2008, 12:36:36 pm »
Well, Mary Ann Wilson Rn takes her weekends OFF.  How rude. Fortunately, I have been taping the shows and was able to rewind to the previous episode. Tell you what. My  feet and hips were complaining like nobody's business.  I thought that I was going to have to skip it, but BRAVELY, pushed PLAY. Once started, you gotta finish.

I like that exercise band. I can feel my muscles working and I'm not on the floor. So far, 99% of the exercises have been in the chair, except she does have some stretches to the hamstring that require you to stand up.

Katie has already been talking to her new Aide, Charlotte, who is doing a good job. She is a younger version of Katie, both being overweight , and she has three children, single parent, black, and they are getting along.

Katie stated yesterday that she had been cleaned in places that haven't been cleaned in years. Charlotte is really taking her work seriously and Katie likes to ...chat...and keeps asking her questions about her life, and she get shy and states that this experience of her being here  "should be all about you"....Katie is bringing her out of it with her people skills,

I heard them discussing Sit and be Fit yesterday. Katie mentioned that 'her brother' wanted her to start exercising everyday. Charlotte is scheduled for 3 hours a day and now that she has got caught up they are discussing taking 30 minutes and Charlotte will help Katie do the exercises. 0.0 ...wonderful....

Yesterday, I went around the front and back with the  18" hedge clippers and cut all the hedges and vines. Then I swept up pine needles from the neighbors GIANT pine trees which when they 'molt' twice a year,  I get fallout also...

Today, I intend to mow the front and back which shouldn't be too hard as it's been so hot that nothing is really growing except weeds and vines.
« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 11:39:19 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #290 on: June 14, 2008, 03:13:47 pm »
 I am not at a loss for these opportunities for 'cardio' . See, my shirt is dripping wet, from sweat, as am I....







Hey Ronnie................GRRRRRRRRRRRR  ;) you look like one of them Dallas Cowboy Football Players ;D Hey ,and OH, nice legs you got there  :-* If I ran into you with that Football FRAME of yours in a Texas Dark-Alley, You'd scare the be-jesus outa me  ;D
« Last Edit: June 14, 2008, 04:25:14 pm by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Winiroo

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #291 on: June 14, 2008, 11:06:40 pm »
I just wanted to tell you I'm still enjoying reading your thread. Its kind of like a blog.
The pictures are a nice touch. Reading your thread is kinda like getting to know you.

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #292 on: June 15, 2008, 10:06:29 am »
denb,
with talk like that, you could turn a fellas head.  :D

Never been called a football player before, usually "hey,  Big Guy" or ,"hello, tall, dark,.. etc.  ::)

Thank you Wendy,
I am extremely, *new car smell* new to all of this. It is my hope that somewhere in all of this ranting that I might accidentally help someone as we go along in this 'living with HIV" and have done it now for a long, long, time, and I'm still alive and functioning...

It's so weird, but I am not so worried about dying anymore, I'm more worried right now about living too long and running out of money.. :D

Or course, that could change tomorrow, as I have discovered that every day has some new way to challenge me....nothing remains the same, no matter how much I balk and whine and cry and carry on, so, I might as well get up, get ready,  and face it, as I hate being blindsided.  :-\

Today is Fathers Day, and while it appears that I am going to live a lot longer than I had been led to believe, my  father was killed in a car accident when I was four. This has been a very early lesson to me that "life happens" and there are no guarantees.

So, I live, day by day, and find that there is always something to do,... if I just get off that couch and do it.  :D
« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 10:09:28 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #293 on: June 15, 2008, 10:36:49 am »


LOL  ;D...............Yeah, I can relate to that VERY WELL, as I get that alot (hey,  Big Guy" or ,"hello, tall, dark,.. etc.  ::)

at 6'3 and 190LBS wearing a size 13D.....it's about the same for me ronnie, but the funny thing is? I have never really went for
a Man that was as tall as me, always prefered shorter stocky Men (Bob my otherhalf of 15 yrs. fits that build very well............

I stopped thinking about diying from AIDS way back in 1998 when I went on disability, and it was THEN when I realized, that
"I cannot run up LARGE credit card debt anymore, due to the fact that my imcome had changed for the worst, but after almost
10 yrs. I'm now in a very good place, and, "I've got some peace of mind" don't worry Ronnie, things will come into play, and you will be just fine  :)
« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 10:39:27 am by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #294 on: June 15, 2008, 10:38:58 am »
My Grandfather, whom I called Daddy as we went to live with my Mom's parents after my father died, served on the Battleship of Texas.

He was a quiet man, never raised his voice, always talked in a low rumble, but you heard every word. One of his stories was that he was born in a covered wagon crossing the Oklahoma /Texas border and was brought up by the Apache Indians. He was always talking about his Indian brothers and sisters, but we never found out if he meant 'blood brother' or if he was really part Apache.

 He was always working, being the father of 5 children kept him busy. He smoked a pipe, which I remember the Prince Albert Tins that he never threw away as he would use them to 'fix' things around the house., and give to us kids to play with...

if you were talented enough you blew air through it and it sounded like a bazooka, and you could put things in them, like marbles and other treasures, little rocks and things that you would find.

 He was a carpenter, electrician, plumber, I don't think there wasn't anything he couldn't do. He would even make his own teeth, which if he lost a tooth, he would have this wire and would work on it until he had created his own set of dentures. I think he worked in the kitchen on the battleship. As children,  we would sit listening to the adults talk and one time it was told that working in the kitchen he ate so much that he gained so much weight that he couldn't even stand up. Being a muscular man and always working , this was hard for me to imagine.

 He always wore tan dickies, pants and button down shirt, and I don't remember ever seeing him in anything else. He started out owning a cotton farm , then bought a Trailer Park in Waco. Every Holiday the entire family would come and yes, the land was like a used car lot with all the trucks cars, and RV's. with children running everywhere and food, food, food, ...go lie down holding your stomach and moaning only to hear 'anyone for dessert?"....and dang if you didn't get up and stuff some more in.

Once we went to where the Battleship of Texas was 'moored' and this was before they started closing off parts of the ship to tourists and he took me below to show me where he slept. There was row after row of beds on the walls,  held up by chain links, and I had to ask how did he know which one was his?.He just said.."you just know".....

He died at the age of 97....







HAH...I've been 'edited' by Mom. I sent her a copy of my tribute to Daddy, and she remarked on the posting and thought it was sweet and then she quietly interjects "you got a few things wrong". "NATCH"  I said..'tell me"...

.Daddy died at 98 not 97.

The wagon made it over the border in 1899 so he was born in Oklahoma. He served in WWI. He joined when he was 16 but lied about his age, as did others. (Apparently, they did not check on these things like they so nowadays.)

 After the war he was looking for work and that's how he made it to Michigan. by 'hopping' a train with a buddy of his as they heard that there were jobs in Michigan. (He did not pay, but bummed a ride') He and his buddy were beaten and ejected from the train by the train guards (bullers?) as it was not considered good manners to ride without paying.

I stand corrected. She also has written his story, which I have requested a copy of and she made a tape of him telling of his recollections growing up...which I have also stated that I want.  thanks Mom.  :D



« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 10:45:36 am by rondrond »
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #295 on: June 15, 2008, 11:33:19 am »
That's a great fathers day story ... My dad knowing that I'm broke all time overpaid me to do some yard work for him this week . I took the money and bought my stepdad dinner at a nice restaurant , my best memories of who has been there for me are of my stepdad .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
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Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #296 on: June 15, 2008, 11:46:57 am »
That's a great fathers day story ... My dad knowing that I'm broke all time overpaid me to do some yard work for him this week . I took the money and bought my stepdad dinner at a nice restaurant , my best memories of who has been there for me are of my stepdad .

You are LUCKY, to still have your DAD...........my Dad past away 20 yrs. ago (1988) he was 75 and I was 32............here's some advice, if you can, try and make up this riff between you and your Dad, Life is short, and time waits for NOBODY.........at the end of the day, he's still your REAL Dad  ;) I wish I still had my Dad, just to talk to  :'(
« Last Edit: June 15, 2008, 11:49:38 am by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline rondrond

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #297 on: June 15, 2008, 12:39:56 pm »
That's a great fathers day story ... My dad knowing that I'm broke all time overpaid me to do some yard work for him this week . I took the money and bought my stepdad dinner at a nice restaurant , my best memories of who has been there for me are of my stepdad .

Life is strange. I always considered my GFather as my Daddy. My mother remarried twice. My first stepfather was a violent, sex addicted, alcoholic. What made it even worse, was that he was the 'type' who did not remember a thing the next morning. He would raise Holy Hell during the night and then wake up in the morning all "doe-eyed"...saying ..."what?"

My second step father wouldn't have anything to do with me. He didn't know what to think of a Homosexual being in his home. But Mom would stand up for me and I was 'allowed ' into the house on Holidays..Thanksgiving and Christmas. Then after my diagnosis of HIV, there was a period of ..FEAR, I would get "air hugs" and such. Then Katie needed help...and my nephews...

and eventually everyone started saying "ya know, you're ok, for a diseased Homosexual, I don't care what anybody else says...

and now, I am completely accepted for who I am. There are no references to gay, HIV, unless it is  appropriate. I am accepted as just 'ronnie' who has problems as like everyone else ...

JW, my second step-father, now calls me "Buddy", and will actually talk to me. A complete turnaround I would have never expected 15 years ago. I have told him that I am grateful that he married my Mom as he...

*makes her laugh...he's a character...the first night we met him, was at a restaurant. He was cutting up and I was thinking, "my god, Mom, what are you thinking?"  He got tired of waiting for something to eat as the service was slow and there was a basket of biscuits on the table next to us. He reached over and snagged one, giving them a big wink and stating that a man could starve in this place...they laughed....

*turned her into a cowgirl..I swear I did not recognize her one year in jeans, boots, and riding a horse, that was hers....my childhood memories of my mother have been of perfect hair, dresses/skirts, high heels,(which I was not allowed to play with  ::) makeup all over the place (which, I was not allowed to play with)

*he's been good to her and has showed her a side of life that 'conservative, city girl, career woman"  Mom would never have experienced otherwise. they have traveled....experienced life....and had fun...I got a call from her one time and it was over some mundane life thing. I stated that I would come right over and help and she laughed, stating that would be great, but that they were in Las Vegas....or Oklahoma..or Michigan...dang Mom, are you ever coming home?....
"I'm not done yet"....Glen Campbell

"I may not be exactly where I want to be, but I sure as Hell am not where I was"
Wynnona Judd

Diagnosed/HIV
1993
AZT
Norvir
1994-2001
Crixivan/Epivir/Zerit
No Meds for 7 Years

04jul07/DVT-right leg/Bi Lateral PE's     
16oct08/DVT-left leg
Aug09 Diagnosed: COPD

05may2015
Un-detectable
Tcells 700
44%

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #298 on: June 15, 2008, 05:09:06 pm »
You are so right on it , life is strange indeed sometime .
 I love my dad , but my step dad is the one that's always listened to me when I needed to be heard . He has been a good husband to my mom and one of my best friends .

I'm in a good place with my father , we have reconnected and are getting to know each other again . I'm a lucky guy that I get to have two dads . My love and respect for my step dad takes nothing away from my father . 
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline denb45

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Re: Trials and Tribulations of an Old Poz Queen
« Reply #299 on: June 15, 2008, 06:52:43 pm »
You are so right on it , life is strange indeed sometime .
 I love my dad , but my step dad is the one that's always listened to me when I needed to be heard . He has been a good husband to my mom and one of my best friends .

I'm in a good place with my father , we have reconnected and are getting to know each other again . I'm a lucky guy that I get to have two dads . My love and respect for my step dad takes nothing away from my father . 


 ;D Well now I'm glad you feel that way  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


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