Very scared, please help!!

[jake9618]

About 1 month ago I gave a homosexual man a hand job, no oral contact, just me touching his penis for about 5 minutes. I then immediately washed my hand and avoided touching my hands to anything before i washed my hands. This is the only type of encounter I have had outside my girlfriend for the last year. But about a week ago I began to show symptoms of infection. First unexplainable genital pain, which I had one year ago that cleared with antibiotic. But this time it seems diffrent. I took azithromycin to relieve the genital pain but it returned 4 days after taking the medication. But this time it came back with pain in the back of my leg joints (both legs) and pain in my lowerback, along with blurred vision. I've researched this and it appears to be reactive arthritis, which I have found to be one of the first signs of hiv. I am also experiencing a whitish coated tongue. And I've been losing weight over the last week. I haven't had the desire to eat anything for the last four days and my weightloss seems to be on a steady course. I was tested for hiv yesterday via orraquick which showed negative but it has only been one month.. Please help, am i infected? what are the risks at this point? what are other test to go through for immediate diagnosis? Please help I am very scared and would like to see your opinions.
Thanks

So Your saying there is absolutely no risk to very low risk from this encounter even if hypothetically the man was hiv positive and may have let some semen on my hand. I have read the lessons but would like direct confirmatory advice, as I have never been scared in my life. I think my loss of appetite is most likely due to so much worrying (does that sound like an effect of stress), and anything would greatly help. And Thanks Ann for replying so quickly.

[Ann]

jake,

Touching another man's penis is not a risk for hiv infection. Please read the Transmission lesson which is linked to in the Welcome Thread so you can learn what is and what isn't a risk for hiv infection.

Here's what else you need to know in order to protect yourself from hiv:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

See your doctor about your various physical problems. They've got nothing to do with the fact that you touched another man's penis.

Ann

[jake9618]

I am still very worried, as I can't explain why I am having these symptoms (painful joints in the back of my knees, lower back, irritated vision, general sick feeling that is has provoked a loss of appetite, weight loss, and groin pain) which the groin pain started three weeks after this encounter and the rest of the symptoms have followed. Are these red flags for early hiv infection. All I did was give another man a handjob, and assured that i washed all fluids away immediately. Is there a chance for contracting hiv in this manner and if so what is the risk factor. Do these symptoms add up to suggest possible hiv infection. I was tested yesterday which came up negative but it's only been a month. please help!!

[Matty the Damned]

Nor can we explain your symptoms, other than to say they have nothing to do with HIV since you were not at risk.

The only person who can tell you what is making you ill is your doctor.

MtD

[Ann]

Jake,

Even if you didn't wash your hands after giving a handjob, there is absolutely NO WAY you would have become infected with hiv. Touching another man's penis is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

I suspect this has more to do with feelings of guilt than anything. We cannot help you with that here. See a counselor if you cannot get past this incident.

You did NOT have a risk and you will not be permitted to use this website to continually wring your hands over the fact that you touched someone else's penis. Get over it.

Ann

[jake9618]

I am sorry to have offended you, but i can guarantee it's not guilt i am dealing with. I truly believe I have a good chance of being infected with the symptoms I am experiencing. Being that they have hit me 3 weeks after exposure and they are common symptoms of early hiv infection. This is the reason i am seeking such helpfull advice. Your advice thus far has helped me to begin eating again and after reading through this website I am beginning to understand I shouldn't be worried. Because I have come to realize worrying will do no good. If you would put it simply for me and tell me "There is NO possible way for contacting hiv from this experience" I would feel even that much better about this situation. I'm sorry I'm just so scared, and I'm not so scared for myself as the people around me as I have quite a few people that depend upon me. Please put it simply for me and tell me I'm a hypochondriac!!

[Ann]

Jake,

We have already told you "There is NO possible way for contacting hiv from this experience". What do you think was meant by; "Even if you didn't wash your hands after giving a handjob, there is absolutely NO WAY you would have become infected with hiv. Touching another man's penis is NOT a risk for hiv infection."

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection! No way, no how. No risk. Whatever is causing your symptoms, it is NOT hiv. Go see your doctor to find out what the cause is - we cannot diagnose you here and you cannot diagnose yourself either.

Ann

[jake9618]

I've now developed the flu 5 weeks post exposure, along with the other symptoms. Has anyone ever heard of anyone becoming infected in this way?? I remember there being no cuts on my hands and very little if any semen getting on my hands. What are the risks at this point??  Very upset right now, never cried so much in my life. Please help.

[Matty the Damned]

Oh pull yourself together. This has nothing to do with HIV and everything to do with you feeling guilty because you touched another man's dick.

You do not have HIV, you were never at risk of it. Tugging someone else's weenie is not a risk.

If you're having trouble dealing with the fact that you're a queer (and I'll wager you are), seek some counselling. We cannot provide you with that kind of support here.

MtD

[jake9618]

It's not that at all, I don't mean to offend (to be honest i enjoyed it). I'm just worried about my symptoms. Do you see any reason to test for hiv over this.. Have you ever heard of anyone getting hiv through semen to hand contact. (guarnteed no cuts on hands) I've just never experienced any symptoms like this I've spent 3 of my last 5 days in the hospital, trying to figure this out. Very scared that I may have infected my partner, not really so much worried about myself as I am her. She's my world and If I gave it to her I wouldn't even know what to do. Have you ever heard of anyone getting hiv in this manner? Do ars symptoms happen simultaneously or can they build up as in my situation?? Should the possibilty of hiv be ruled out. And again I don't want to offend, just seeking your professional advice...

[Ann]

jake,

NO, we have NOT ever heard of anyone being infected by giving a handjob. You have been told repeatedly that this is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

You're on the fast track to a time out. If you've read the Welcome Thread like you're supposed to, you will have read the following forum posting guideline:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

If you cannot bring yourself to accept that you gave and enjoyed giving a handjob, then seek counseling. We cannot help you with your guilty feelings here and you will not be permitted to use this forum to wring your hands over the fact that you touched another man's penis.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann

[jake9618]

So you wouldn't recommend any further hiv testing from this encounter...
How long do the flu symptoms generally last?
This will be my last post.
God Bless and Thank  You for everthing!!!

[BT65]

Jake, no, no further testing is needed.  Flu symptoms can last for varying times.  Please remember Ann's warning so you don't get yourself banned in case you need us in the future.

[jake9618]

Despite what you all say I'm pretty sure I'm infected, unlucky I guess. But I'm not looking for risk assessment responses anymore. I'm curious why I've read that starting meds within the first six months can aid disease progression. Is it true that starting meds early after infection improves later progression of the virus? Why six months? If this helped with deterring disease progression wouldn't finding out your positive within six months of infection help with the battle to come?

[BT65]

Look Jake, if you're so sure you're positive, then there's something else you're not coming out with.  If you're that anxious, get tested.  Period.

[jake9618]

There is nothing that I am not telling you guys. Evey single symptom I have points to hiv without any other explanation. First I developed brocitis which followed the very next day with urethritis. I've had urethritis before from an ngu, but it responded to antibiotics. This time it took antibiotics for the urethritis and it disappeared only to return worse than before about 5 days later accompanied by a weird feeling in my eyes almost like blurred vision but not quite it was just a generally weird feeling in my eyes. At the same time i developed joint pain in the back of my legs and in my lower back. I went to the hospital and got loaded up on antibiotics. Which eased the urethritis, but the joint pain and eye thing continued on. I tested for hiv with an Elisa test 4 weeks post this handjob exposure. It came back negative. The joint pain was bad for about a week but It started to go away. The internet equates joint pain, unexplainable urethritis, and conjunctivitis (eye inflammation) to a syndrome known as reactive arthritis. This is where i began to get scared as i read on it pointed that reactive arthritis can sometimes be the first manifestation of the hiv virus. I was worried then and that's when I began posting here. You guys informed me I have no risk, so I blew it off and the symptoms appeared to be going away. But then i started feeling weird sensations in my throat on both sides of my Adams apple, like my lymph nodes are swollen, and a weird feeling behind my ears, like the nodes are swelling there as well. Multiple lymph swelling are linked to either some type of infection or an auto immune disorder like hiv. So the reactive arthritis is pointing to hiv, and my lymph nodes are pointing to hiv. Yesterday is when it all went downhill. I woke up planning on returning to class for the first time in a while, only to be vomiting and couldn't hold anything down, and the joint pain was worse than ever. I'd drink a little bit of water only for it to all come back up instantly. This was the sickest I've ever been in my entire life, I immediately rushed myself to the emergency room, only to be sent home when they didn't find anything. They said It was mostly due to some type of infection. I've been shitting straight water for a couple days and losing weight. Needless to say I'm pretty worried about Hiv, as every symptom i have points directly to the virus. It's just so hard to believe, I thought I was being safe just engaging in giving a casual handjob, something I've always just wanted to try once. And now look at the price I'm going to have to pay. So please see where I coming from, as I truly believe I will be the first person to contract hiv in this manner. But someone please answer the question in my last post about testing and starting treatment during the first six months. Because If starting treatment early after the infection has taken hold will help, i plan on testing very often. But if you guys don't see any reason to believe that starting treatment early will help at all, I'm just going to block all of this out of my mind and wait for the three months.

[Andy Velez]

Jake, it doesn't matter if you write a book of symptoms. Nothing you did put you at risk for HIV transmission. Thoughts and feelings are not facts. There is nothing based in HIV-science which points to HIV as an issue.

Just because your thoughts keep heading mistakenly in that direction doesn't change the facts of the situation. As you have been repeatedly told, discuss your symptoms with your doctor. And some sessions with a counselor or therapist might not be a bad idea.

This is not an HIV situation and coming back here repeatedly with the same insistence to the contrary is going to get you timed out from the site.  We've done what we can do for you here.