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Author Topic: "Go with the Flow"  (Read 7021 times)

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Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
"Go with the Flow"
« on: January 30, 2007, 01:14:02 pm »
It would seem I am flip-flopping between what was and what is now (again).   Nostaglia is very highly overrated...   Reading the boards of late just seems a bit un-nerving for to many right now....  Hang tight........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjiapiq-hqY

Love,
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Offline lydgate

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  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #1 on: January 30, 2007, 01:38:42 pm »
Trying hard not to cry too much on a Tuesday afternoon. Emotional lability setting in. That was beautiful and heart-breaking.

"Truly, though our element is time,
We are not suited to the long perspectives
Open at each instant of our lives.
They link us to our losses: worse,
They us what we have as it once was,
Blindingly undiminished, Just as though
By acting differently we could have kept it so."

-- Philip Larkin

Eric, do you want to elaborate why the forums are un-nerving reading for many these days? Or shall we just forget it and keep movin' on?

 :-* Jay
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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #2 on: January 30, 2007, 01:49:26 pm »
Jay,  I have my ups and downs still .... "Un-nerving for me to read" is what I tried to say...  Folks are having difficulties with all sorts of things it seems and it just hurts sometimes to read.   I get all mushy when my birthday approaches (not telling)...  I keep looking for the "FIX" key on my keyboard, and it just isnt there...

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Offline bear60

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #3 on: January 30, 2007, 02:28:03 pm »
    I think the best thing you can do Eric, is not stress yourself over "what might happen" or "the future".  Just do what is important now.
  Yes, vote for the people who can help the HIV community, send letters to your elected officials ( especially congressmen and senators) and feel as though you have some part in what is happening in the US of A.
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Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline Life

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #4 on: January 30, 2007, 02:40:32 pm »
Thanks Joel...  I have my moments..
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Offline racingmind

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #5 on: January 30, 2007, 02:50:19 pm »
it's weird....I'm drawn here to be part of something, yet sometimes I regret it because it's like a 'smack in the face' dose of reality.  I guess I'm always hoping to read good things...but that, of course, is not always the case. 
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Tested Negative: 5/06
Tested Positive: 9/06 
9/06: CD4: 442 (28%) VL: +100,000
10/06: CD4: 323 (25%) VL: 243,440
11/06: CD4: 405 (28%) VL: 124,324
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10/07: CD4: 324 (27%) VL: 115,454 
Started Atripla: 10/07
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7/09: CD4: 1027 (43%) VL: not tested
10/09: CD4: 1045 (43%) VL: undetectable

Offline Alain

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  • I am.
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #6 on: January 30, 2007, 03:06:33 pm »
Eric,

I agree, go with the flow and don't stress yourself out, just do your best.

Define your limits and stay focused within that space. Not always easy to do.

You can't save the world my friend, but you are making a difference, just by being who you are.

I relate totally about folks having a hard time and hurting including the ups and downs around this place.

The reality; I am far to busy chasing those CD4 Cells right now, rather then spending the energy I do not have arguing for something that isn't right nor wrong, or for the simple reasons of building up my profile's thread count.

I know I am not alone. Keep well.

Alain. 
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Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #7 on: January 30, 2007, 03:17:40 pm »
(HUGS) - I am drawn here to try and develop the skills necessary to survive this..   I am more than I was, but not sure I always like what I see or for that matter feel.   Try to emulate those who "have it together" and see where that leads me...   

Listening to old Freddie songs is probaby not the way to go..... sigh..  Will keeps telling me to "find some happyness please"...   By God, I am searching!

Love,
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #8 on: January 30, 2007, 03:26:14 pm »
And keep in mind we often sell ourselves short.   I bet you're more "together" than you're giving yourself credit for.
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"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #9 on: January 30, 2007, 03:32:15 pm »
Oh for sure...  Thats a given that I am trying to take back!!  Even my rose colored sunglasses won't always fix these feelings....   But at least I know they are there fucking with me... ;) 
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Offline AlanBama

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #10 on: January 30, 2007, 04:00:38 pm »
hey sweetie

It's going to be o.k.; we've been through rough waters before.

hugs & kisses,

Alan  (who KNOWS when your birthday is and won't forget it!)
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"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline lydgate

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #11 on: January 30, 2007, 05:13:08 pm »
And I'm having a total "down" day myself Eric. I can't explain quite why, but I just am. Damn, but all this shit (life basically) can be tough sometimes.
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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline poet

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  • Posts: 934
  • Poet living and working in Central Maine
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #12 on: January 30, 2007, 05:32:01 pm »
Sometimes it helps being a writer, Eric, because while I am part of the forums, I am also thinking about how to 'get' them across to others, so that allows me some distance, although only some.  But as Jay can attest, when a writer is stuck or not writing, a writer thinks of himself or herself as a waste of time: nothing.  When a writer is writing, however, the mood swings back.  Living along the ocean, I know what you mean about 'go with the flow.'  Best, Win
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Winthrop Smith has published three collections of poetry: Ghetto: From The First Five; The Weigh-In: Collected Poems; Skin Check: New York Poems.  The last was published in December 2006.  He has a work-in-progress underway titled Starting Positions.

Offline Life

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  • Member 2005
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #13 on: January 30, 2007, 05:35:24 pm »
Well its great to be amounst company Jay  (Sqeeeze)

It is just not the way we were met to be...  I am thankful for a great many things but whatever powers that be keep yanking on us...   I swear I am going to figure out how the fuck to stay put in the good stuff and not this other muckety muck of my own creation...  

Win,  sorry, I'll tuck your shirt tail back in for you after I let go.... ;)

Keep heading towards the light!

Alan,  I forgot about that......
« Last Edit: January 30, 2007, 05:43:38 pm by Eric »
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Offline Jeff64

  • Member
  • Posts: 256
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #14 on: January 31, 2007, 10:15:19 pm »
Quote from: Eric on January 30, 2007, 01:14:02 pm
It would seem I am flip-flopping between what was and what is now (again).   Nostaglia is very highly overrated...   Reading the boards of late just seems a bit un-nerving for to many right now....  Hang tight........

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fjiapiq-hqY

Love,

Watched Freddie...am now in tears.

I love each and every one of you.

Jeff
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Offline Life

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  • Posts: 2,389
  • Member 2005
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #15 on: January 31, 2007, 10:19:49 pm »
Jeff I know what you mean, I have been listening to that song now for 3 days (over and over again).   Freddie has a way of finding ways how to lift those little hairs on the back of your neck while warming the sole.....
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Offline ndrew

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  • ....-.-.-.-.-.....
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #16 on: February 01, 2007, 01:45:52 am »
Hi Eric,

I hope u find a flow.  I know how it goes.  You should know you have made me smile and laugh more than anyone.  I feel selfish for missing that right now  :)

Drew
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Offline Lisa

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    • http://www.myspace.com/lisanowak58
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #17 on: February 01, 2007, 02:10:06 am »
Yet he was strikingly beautiful, even at the height of his illness.
I haven't heard that song in a long time. Thank you Eric.

::sniffles, and heads for the tissues in the bathroom:: :-[
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No Fear  No Shame  No Stigma
Happiness is not getting what you want, but wanting what you have.

Offline lydgate

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  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #18 on: February 01, 2007, 03:07:19 am »
Eric, it's late (well, where I am). I have been listening to that song over and over... and over.

Edited to delete some over-emotional content.
« Last Edit: February 01, 2007, 09:53:01 pm by lydgate »
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Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline Blixer

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #19 on: February 01, 2007, 05:48:58 pm »
Eric,
Thanks for sharing that song.  I had never heard it. I often comment that I think I totally missed the 80s and obviously the early part of the 90s by living in the rural part of Missouri.  The song struck an instant chord with me and I listened to it several times.  Just waching Freddie sing it and then going out and watching a documentary about him made it all more amazing.  I think one of the amazing things was that he didn't give up.  When he finally told the rest of the group about his illness it was, "now I don't want to hear anything more about this, lets get on with making music."  And he continued to make music and do a great job of it almost right up to the very end.

This week must have been one of those "AIDS" weeks.  It sounds like several of us had a rough day or two.   Hopefully those will be few and far between.
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David
Diagnosed 1/9/06
8/27/2007 CD4 598, 29%, VL 58 (72 wks)
11/19/2007 CD4 609, 30%, VL < 50 (84 wks)
2/11/2008 CD4 439, 27%, VL <50 (96 wks)
5/5/2008 CD4 535, 28%, VL <50 (108 wks)
10/20/2008 CD4 680, 28%, VL <50 (132 wks)
Changed to Atripla in 2012
1/14/2013 CD4 855, 35%, VL <40

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2007, 02:34:15 am »
Eric,
Thanks for that beautiful reminder of what a great talent Freddie was.

Amazing...

When I get down lately I help others...It cheers me up it is like magic.

love all you guys...
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Positive since 1985

Offline DanielMark

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Re: "Go with the Flow"
« Reply #21 on: February 02, 2007, 06:46:08 am »
It may sound paradoxical Eric, but sometimes I find surrendering to what life is more useful than trying to struggle with emotions or thoughts. The trial by fire of seeing other people’s troubles so in-your-face can get tiring I know, but turning to face the dragons is the only way to conquer them I find. If I try to run from them, they just keep chasing me. Who wants to live like that?

Nothing wrong with reminiscing, but here and now is where the possibilities reside. This is where hope lives – among the living.

Daniel
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MEDS: REYATAZ & KIVEXA (SINCE AUG 2008)

MAY 2000 LAB RESULTS: CD4 678
VL STILL UNDETECTABLE

DIAGNOSED IN 1988
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