POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Forums Gatherings => Topic started by: greatcyber on August 23, 2006, 07:03:47 pm
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Let me start by saying that I truly had a wonderful time in Montreal during the past week. We are safe at home in Florida now, only to ready our house to be sold so that we may pursue our new lives in Montreal, as Canadian Citizens! To our amazement, Joe was able to go into the Passport Office on Monday afternoon with his application and we picked up his new Canadian passport this morning on our way to the airport. It's a bit surreal, but I think the fear will be allayed once we are actually there.
To the happy faces that I met in Toronto last year, it was marvelous seeing all of you again. And to the new acquaintances made this past week, it was a rare gift to meet all of you. It is a powerful thing to share the commonality that we all do and come together for the sole purpose of just letting go of the frustration and misery and just commisserating with one another. There were too many names to remember (sorry) but we had some special moments together.
I did not go to Montreal with any intention other than to find support and friendship among brethren. And to share in the union of two wonderful guys who have already been in a committed relationship for so many years. Their wedding brought back the flood of emotion that filled Joe and me at our own wedding in Toronto the year before. Thank God for a little levity during the ceremony that let us all laugh through the tears of joy.
Now for the OMG! part:
For the life of me, I don't remember ever meeting Rich last year in Toronto (if he was even there) and still today, would not know the man if I fell over him. So you can imagine how surprised I was when Rocky told me that he took a nasty swipe at me in the forums the other night while we were celebrating Herman's birthday! I can tell you honestly that I NEVER looked that man in the eyes and said anything, let alone that I was going upstairs to take my narcotics and HIV meds. Yes, it is an unfortunate truth that I do take narcotic pain medication for neuropathy that has gotten progressively worse over the past eight or so years. In fact, at one point I was on 160 Mg of Oxycontin, three times a day - enough to put Mr. Ed down. But I always hated the fact of being medically addicted to pain medication as well as concerned about the potential long-term effects of taking the crap. The side effects have been mind-numbing. (sound familiar?)
While I did share the fact of my taking pain meds with a few folks in Montreal, it was NEVER directed at or about Rich. I was only sharing my own story in my own way. I honestly don't remember if Rich was around me at any of the times I was speaking about it or not. Either way, his paranoid response is unwarranted and certainly unappreciated. My husband told me to forget about it and shrug it off and then filled me in on some of the 'back story' of Rich and Herman. Woohoo! Guess what, we all have drama in our lives, and we learn to live with it. I understand how overwhelming this disease can be but I have never had any tolerance for those with addictive behaviours. This gathering was supposed to be about support, not personal drama that I personally have no taste for (or knowledge of). All I can say is, we have all been there, an if not, hold on, it just may be coming. But that is when it is time for everyone to take control of their own destiny and seek out whatever means may help. That is one reason that these forums are such a blessing for so many...to have a support system.
But some needs go beyond what might be available here and that is what professionals are for. While I understand that Rich is having some difficulties right now and might be emotionally challenged, I never asked to have it dumped in my lap. Let's face it, I rarely even post on these boards. But I know that so many of you have accommodated Rich and advised him to your best ability and that he is now seeking therapy. I'm glad for him.
HOWEVER, he should never have included me in his sick little drama, and I have only one thing to say to him:
DOUCHE!
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Hey Stephen...
I just wanted to tell you and Joe how much I enjoyed meeting the two of you. I won't address the drama of Rich but to say that I too share your affliction with neuropathy and am on painkillers as well. I think many of my fellow AMG members noted my difficulty in climbing stairs while in Montreal. Please don't allow the antics of a single individual to spoil any part of your MONTREAL experience... Take to heart that many who attended Montreal were much impressed with you and Joe and the love you two obviously share for one another. Good luck moving to Montreal and perhaps I'll see you guys there very soon as I fully intend to return to the Village in Montreal again.
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Amazing Stephen!
Wow, I didn't even know about all of this because most of the time I am really not very attentive at these gatherings. I do love watching the goings on, (drama) but I didn't know anything about this event.
As far as Rich is concerned; I do hope he can come to some place of comfort with his own skin, but in the mean time, we must not coddle, or embrace nastiness of any sort here, so let us hope that he will consider his keystrokes before he commits anything to permanence here in the future.
I do hope this event is in your past, and please don't let it be part of your consiousness in the future.
Love you guys bunches!
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Thanks David, for your kind words. It was a pleasure meeting you, too and it would be great to see you again in the future. And Tim, your kindness is unbounding. What a true joy and a blessing to consider you a friend.
Of course, I wouldn't let one negative aspect spoil what in actuality was such a fabulous experience. I just had to defend myself since I fight my own demons with relation to my narcotic medication. It took me such a long time to wean off of it only to find after a short time that I just could not tolerate the misery and pain associated with neuropathy. I was crying all the time and simply had NO quality of life, even with my wonderful Joe supporting me all the way. After I finally relented and went back on the meds, starting first with 10 Mg, and now up to 40 Mg, I can only see the same thing happening again. A doctor once told me that "man has long danced with the poppy", a nod to the fact that once you start using a narcotic your body adjusts to it and hence you need to keep going up on the dosage to experience relief. That is simply not my choice. In fact, since I also have an orthopedic problem in my back which resides at L5/S1, I have decided to pursue the option of undergoing back surgery to avoid some of the pain that radiates down my legs. It is also something that I do not relish, but I simply can't stand the thought of continuing on this path any longer.
Joe and I are planning on spending a LONG time together and I want it to be quality time. I don't want to be an invalid or a drugged out zombie. I will always have Joe's love, support and understanding, and that is my solice. But I felt that I needed to defend myself in what was, in fact, an innocent admission to a friend.
I realize that it is folks like you here on the forums which also form the basis of an extended family that truly understand what it is all about. While I am less tolerant at times than my husband, it is through kind words and actions that I continue to evolve into a better human being.
Please know that I truly appreciate all of you and will ALWAYS look back on Montreal as one great big positive experience and a huge, collective hug from all of you!
Thanks for being there.
Stephen
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All I know is, I certainly managed to sit at the right table at the reception :)
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Me too.... ;)
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And I'm sure glad that you both did! I had a lot of fun and enjoyed you both, sans drama. It was a nice time for everyone, although a bit on the hot side. Still, the company made the evening.