Improbable but Possible

[Jane007]

Hi Everybody.
 
I am new to this forum. Basically my story is kind of strange and I was wondering if there is anyone out there who may have a similar experience.
Basically, I was with the same man for 10 years. I lost my virginity to him and I loved him more then anything. We were engaged to be married. Two years ago we broke up. I met a few guys over the years but it never got further then kissing. Sometimes some hectic kissing but no sex! A few months ago I tested positive.
My ex-fiance has been tested several times and is always negative. Basically - I either got it via kissing or...
Last new years I was at this party, and I felt this sharp stab in my arm, there was no blood, but strangely, my first thought at the time had been, I hope someone has not injected me with something. He he - I know- sounds like some story that used to make the rounds in the 80's.
So its been a few months and well I accept it. Obviously fate meant it to happen. Don't get me wrong, I wake up at night with fear sometimes. Still, it would be nice to know what someone out there thinks of this. I told my doctor but I think no one really believes me.

[Ann]

Jane,

Saliva is not infectious and so it is not possible that you were infected while kissing.

Perhaps your ex is not being honest.

Ann

[appleboy]

Jane,
Have you had multiple tests done to prove an actual infection or was this a single test?  I would assume you were not told you had HIV unless your ELISA Western blot/IFA was both positive.  I am not saying I don't belive your story but I would hope that no one in there right mind would be injecting people with HIV and since it is such a fragile virus if it did happen it may or may not give you HIV.  I agree with Ann and wonder if you ex is really being honest. 
Take Care
AppleBoy

[Jane007]

I know it sounds crazy! The thing is that there is no other explanation. None. I have never had a blood transfusion. I have never taken drugs. I know my ex is negative- I have never seen his results, true, but his reaction to my being positive and the subsequent relief I saw him experience when he had a test tells me that he is not lying. That is very hard to fake. Of course I could be wrong. But even then- we always used a condom, except in oral sex. So yes I have not seen his official results. I have only seen his results to one of those finger prick tests and that was negative. Mine was positive. I have had all the tests. Viral load and CD4 and yes, they show I am positive. There is no other way for me to have gotten the virus. None. I have researched the subject and the centre for disease control does say there is a chance of infection via open mouth kissing. I don't know. All I know is that I have never done anything to make me believe I would be infected. This was a insurance test that started all this. Look I have learnt the improbability of this - 99% = 1% = 10 people out of 1000. Suddenly it does not look that small, does it?

[Life]

Jane not to sound to loud....  Maybe its time to stop focusing on how and now begin the process of living with HIV ahy?  Nothing you do or find out is going to change the fact that your are infected with hiv...  Just sayin...

[DanielMark]

Hi Jane,

I know my ex is negative- I have never seen his results, true, but his reaction to my being positive and the subsequent relief I saw him experience when he had a test tells me that he is not lying. That is very hard to fake. Of course I could be wrong. But even then- we always used a condom, except in oral sex.

If you (and he) had no exchange of bodily fluids then I think your assessment is right. There does exist the possibility that your ex isn't being honest, but I won't question his integrity or yours.

I have to agree with what Eric wrote. What's done is done. There is life after infection.

Hoping you can lay this to rest now and get on with living. Life can stilll be good.

Daniel

[Jane007]

I have moved on. Its been a few nonths and I have fully accepted that I am positive. I guess I just thought that with so many people on this forum that maybe one person out there may have a similar experiance. 

[ARMANDO]

I WOULD ASK YOU EX TO SHOW YOU THE TEST RESULTS STATING THAT INDEED HE IS NEGATIVE.THE FACT THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE POZ AND STILL NOT TELLING THEIR SEX PARTNERS IS EVIDENCE ENOUGH!!!!TRUST ME , I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE THIS AND ITS VERY UPSETTING BUT IT IS A FACT!!!