Assessing the risk of a recent encounter with another man

[Dingo]

I am a bisexual male and a month ago I met and had sex with someone that I don't really know.  I have had sex with a total of three men (all in the last year and a half) and have been the receptive partner each time.  I am married and my wife is aware of my situation and always asks that I be safe and because of that I have never allowed a guy to cum while he is inside me.  We always use condoms, but even with condoms I insist that they pull out before coming in case of any type of breakage.

Well, the last time I did not do that.  I met the guy, received oral sex and then was the receptive partner for anal sex.  I brought condoms and watched him put one on and then turned around.  We had sex for probably a total of 5 minutes before he said he had climaxed.  So he pulled out and I turned around and when I did, I saw him with the condom in his hand.  This sort of freaked me out as I did not hear him take it off nor did I expect to see it off his penis by the time I turned around.  I asked him if the condom fell off and he said that he just pulled it off when he pulled out.  I have read countless stories about people trying to "stealth bareback" someone and began to wonder if this is what happened to me.

After he finished he walked into the kitchen to throw the condom away while I stood in front of his couch.  I do not recall feeling anything draining but I wasnt thinking about that at the time.  He came back and performed oral on me for about 3 minutes until I came and then I left.  I got home probably 25 minutes after our encounter and I immediately checked my underwear for semen that might have drained and then went to the toilet and tried to push anything out that may have been in there.  I did not notice any type of drainage after our encounter.  Can anyone who has any experience with this tell me if I would notice drainage later on if a condom hadn't been used?

I am sorry to be paranoid because I realize that there are people here who are dealing with a lot of things or who have been put in riskier situations and I don't mean trivialize anyone else's situation at all.  I went yesterday for an HIV test. While I realize that it is still early, I have read that the average time to detection would be between 3 and 4 weeks so I thought I would get tested now and then again later.

Thanks

[Andy Velez]

Dingo, this is all really about WHAT IF and not anything based in facts. I don't see anything you have reported that leads me to think you had unprotected anal. Nothing. Aside from anything else you would almost certainly have seen secretions afterwards if you had it without a condom.

I think you are worrying needlessly and I don't think there is any need for testing.

If you're going to have anal again, just make sure the use of condom is evident and the boundaries are well established with your partner(s).

Cheers.

[Dingo]

Sorry for being overly worried but my wife is pregnant and I would die if I managed to give her or the baby anything because of these sexual urges I have.  I have just never had an experience like that and didn't know if the semen could have possibly drained out completely before I put my pants/underwear back on and therefore I wouldn't notice anything.

Thanks again

[Andy Velez]

Your concern is understandable, Dingo. You can't give anyone anything you don't have and I don't see any reason from you have reported to believe your negative status is in question.

As much as an anticipated baby is exciting and joyful, it can also kick up a lot of anxiety as well with new responsibilities and changing family dynamics. So perhaps that is playing a role in these feelings you're having.

In any case I say you are worrying needlessly.

Cheers. 

[Dingo]

OK thanks, man.