New To The Forum

[Scotian]

I have been reading the posts for the past couple months and decided it was time to join in an share my experience. I have found alot of the information very helpful.  I tested HIV+ 8 months ago. I went to my GP with what I thought was a severe and lingering flu. I realize now the seroconversion was underway in late March '08.  The diagnosis was devastating for me --as many others have shared. As well as not feeling well physically -- lost  15 pounds in a month/major fatigue/night sweats/sore tongue/headaches etc my emotional state was very unstable. My doc prescribed Ativan that day in his office. Its' side effects and coming off it has been the worst part of the whole experience. ( The end of May he put me on Cipralex - anti anxiety/anti depressant). My first blood tests showed a VL > 750,000 CD4 310  --then in July VL 670,662 CD4  314  ..the ID doc wanted to start treatment , but said my anxiety was too high --that I was 'unstable'  and she thought I would have a problem with adherence. With the diagnosis I had to leave my part-time job as well as put my own business on hold for  7 months---which all added to the stress. I couldn't answer the phone...afraid to check my email....get groceries...the smallest thing I needed a few close friends, I had disclosed to, to help me. I also told my brothers who have been very supportive. I remember being at the July 1 Canada day parade--I just stood there(with sunglasses on) and cried for an hour. I did alot of crying the first few months. I would just get overwhelmed. Alot of fear.
There's been alot of work---first thing weaning (very gradually) myself off the Ativan-- as I sensed it had more to do with the anxiety than helping it. ( Note: do not try and do this on your own 'cold turkey' -- big mistake I have been meeting with a psychologist provided by the clinic since day one, see a massage therapist ( provided by ASO)who has HIV+ clients and is very supportive -- I also started going to the gym (ASO reduced cost)--for light exercise program. I am very fortunate with all the services available in this city. There is a med school/researchers attached to a local university--so a number of ID docs are available. If you have access --take advantage --I did and it was a  life saver ..and not just physically.
My next bloodwork results were at Sept.11.08 clinic. VL 490,788  CD4 292. It was decided I would meet with the pharmacologist a week later. It was one of the most stressful weeks in my life waiting for that meeting. But, as soon as I met with her --she was amazing-- apparently one of the best in Canada. She put alot of my fears at ease. She  started me on Truvada/Norvir/Rayataz on Sept 17. ( The docs had discussed Sustiva--but because of my mental state/anxiety--thought it best to hold off  ...try it if it's needed down the road)My blood was tested Nov 25..... VL had dropped to 41  and CD4 444. I just remember my ID saying the results were 'fabulous'.  I take the 3 pills all at once, around 10pm. Takes about 10 seconds. I had very minor side effects  and none to mention in past 2-3 weeks.
I'm feeling well --have gone back to part time job and restarted my business.  3-4 months ago I would not have believed it. For those just starting out on the journey --give yourself time, it's OK to have all the range of feelings you go through. Find someone to talk to. Just reading these forums was a big help. Thanks for allowing me to share. I will keep in touch.

[Nashvegas]

What a great uplifting story.  Those first few months can be hard, but it sounds like you've come out on the other side.  Keep us posted.   

[anniebc]

Hi there

Welcome to the forum

It's good to hear you are doing well after a bad start, keep up the good work, attitude and knowledge are the best medicines, (IMHO) and it's good to hear you have a good support team, look forward to hearing more from you.

Cheers
Jan

[tag_man08]

you did the next step...you told your story....sometimes just telling someone makes it feel like you are not alone....with time....you will get stronger....and everyday you will think about your diagnosis a little less....life is still waiting for you....keep dreaming....

[YaKaMein]

glad to hear from you Scotian. Coming forth as you have indicates improvement in your outlook. Keep up the momentum in getting a handle on your life again. Just pick up the pieces in easy, manageable portions at your own pace. There's lotsa info from us here to help guide you. Welcome.

[auspoz]

Hi Scotian,

I'm really pleased to hear how well you're doing. That first part is just so hard, but it sounds like you've made it through. Congratulations on getting back into work, and keeping the momentum going.

Thinking of you, and wishing you the best,

Auspoz.

[Peacock]

thanks for the uplifting story,you explain your feelings and emotions so well. its good for other newly diagnosed to read about what you went through and how youre coping now..it gives hope that things DO get better!
Your results are looking fab...all the hard work youve put into fighting it has really paid off,ey!
Good luck with starting your business, youre an inspiration

[macv]

scotian, glad you are doing well, and as another just diagnosed, your experience has given me hope for myself. keep well. macv

[northernguy]

Welcome.  Interesting they put you on meds so quickly, rather than wait to see where your set point numbers would end up after seroconversion.