POZ Community Forums
Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits => Mental Health & HIV => Topic started by: Tar Heel on November 27, 2008, 11:29:07 am
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I'm Tom. I've been a psych nurse currently working on a crisis stabilization unit/detox in the beautiful mountains of western North Carolina. Psych nursing has been my gig for 22 years now.
I became HIV+ in 2005 and handled with it pretty well. 3 1/2 years later, I'm beginning to have some problems (mentally and physically) with the diagnosis. Now I see I need to support of other people and this site is perfect to help me understand I am not alone in my battle.
I joined back in 2005 and just never saw the need to come around here much. As long as I wasn't symptomatic and was not on meds, I didn't have HIV (in my own little world.) Things change...
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Hi Tom
I'm Joel and am from NC, the Tar Heel state. I grew up in Chapel Hill and have fond memories of all the "southern things" like watching tobacco pickers and buying homemade sausage ( before Jimmy Dean).
Now I am an old fart and live in Philadelphia and have been HIV poz since the 80's.
So, you are on meds now...not sure I understood.
Joel
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So, you are on meds now...not sure I understood.
No meds yet. I go back to the doc next month and I think it's about time to start.
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Hi Tom,
I'm Betty. I was raised in Michigan; now I live in Indiana, but just over the border, only 20 minutes away from Michigan.
I was diagnosed in 1989 and have been on meds since 1990. Good luck. The meds sure are a lot better than they used to be.
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hi TOM ,
I hope you had a great thanksgiving day !
I noticed you said things change , yes they do :o ,
Stay in control , life is good , this is a fun place to unload , most people here
are very nice , and get along ,offer support , that we ALL need sometimes .
Keep in touch , lots of good topics to get your mind in the right place :)
Sometimes just " saying " something is enough to make a huge difference in ones life .
Just knowing we are not alone means a lot !
be good , be healthy ,
Karl :-*
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Hi Tom!
I'm at an interesting point in my life. The week was the "anniversary" of living the last 23 yrs of my in Ohio, and the first 23 yrs. in Charlotte Noth Carolina. ;D (My great-grandmother just to live up in Norwood and we went there every Christmas morning for years and years. Are you anywhere near there?)
Maybe try to take a different perspective on the meds. ;)
Many people (like me and both of my late partners) find out they have HIV (or AIDS) because they are sick. They don't get any "grace period" or time to adjust or even a chance to learn more about this disease before a doctor is telling them that they must begin meds immediately or risk impending death :o I'm not saying your worries aren't valid; but just think about how much more you know about this disease, now that you might be considering meds, than you did when you were first diagnosed. Hopefully, you learned that the meds aren't as harsh and are more effective than past drugs. Starting meds now isn't the end of the world or something, but a good step forward to ensuring your continued good health. (trust me, you want to avoid ever getting sick enough to land in the hospital with PCP or something. That's much much scarier than being worried about some ol' pills ;) )
You know if you take away the stigma (that many of us put onto ourselves for a lot of reasons), this is nothing different from a doctor diagnosing you with a terrible heart condition. If he had pills that would slow down the damage and keep your heart running, I betcha wouldn't hesitate to take those meds. ;) Taking meds will change your life some; but it really doesn't have to be a bad change. Matter of fact, depending on your tcell/viral load counts, taking meds and having them work, could actually make you feel better after some time.
okay, that's my try at putting a (if you'll pardon the pun for the 100th time LOL) more "positive" spin on things for you. ;)
Oh, almost forgot! I'll be landing back in home-sweet-home Charlotte in about 20 days from now, when I fly home for the weekend before Christmas. WooHoo! ;D It's going to be a bitter-sweet trip home though. Last time I was home for Christmas I still had my partner with me; but since he passed away in May, I'll be making the trip alone this year. Though I love my OhioFamily (a local family that "adopted" my first partner and I almost 20 yrs ago!), it'll be nice to connect to my real flesh-n-blood kinfolk.
Happy Holidays!
mikie
(who might just be heading to NC, not so much to see his family, but to get away from the cold snow in OH ;) and to be somewhere for a while where he doesn't get funny looks from the Yankees when he says "y'all" ;D )
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Many people (like me and both of my late partners) find out they have HIV (or AIDS) because they are sick. They don't get any "grace period" or time to adjust or even a chance to learn more about this disease before a doctor is telling them that they must begin meds immediately or risk impending death :o I'm not saying your worries aren't valid; but just think about how much more you know about this disease, now that you might be considering meds, than you did when you were first diagnosed. Hopefully, you learned that the meds aren't as harsh and are more effective than past drugs. Starting meds now isn't the end of the world or something, but a good step forward to ensuring your continued good health. (trust me, you want to avoid ever getting sick enough to land in the hospital with PCP or something. That's much much scarier than being worried about some ol' pills ;) )
mikie
I cannot imagine outliving more than one life mate, you must be a very strong person. I am one of the ones who had to be put on meds immediately upon diagnosis or shortly thereafter further testing. No time to make any decision other than start taking pills, lots of them.
To the OP, hang in there, enjoy life as much as you can because this one is all you have as bad as it might seem at times.
Rex
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just a tiny hijack, if you don't mind Tom ;)
I cannot imagine outliving more than one life mate, you must be a very strong person.
And you know what I found out losing Jim back in May? There are probably a dozen or more here who have lost two mates, and even a few that have lost three!! :o Now that I cannot imagine. This time I do not plan to fall in love again (I really didn't "plan" it last time either. I even tried to "avoid" it, but after 20 yrs of being my best friend, it was easy to be in love with him). Strong? not really. This is just what life has thrown at me and it's what I have to deal with. What other choice do I have; but to try to keep moving forward with my life? ??? ;)
The same applies to Tom, perhaps getting ready to start meds. Just like losing a partner, taking meds will make a difference in your life. (albeit that death makes a bigger difference, a major change in a life is still a major change to that person ;) ) With meds, you hope the difference is for the good (better health. and thankfully, that is the usual outcome of taking meds nowadays); but you can also be worried that the difference might be bad (side effects). But if taking meds is what life is going to throw at Tom next, then he's going to have to "deal" with it somehow. Having been on several regimens myself, I've learned that the easiest way is for you to get knowledgeable about this disease and treatments, take the meds and think good thoughts, because the alternative to NOT taking meds is eventually death.
I've admitted in other threads that I've always had a compliance issue. For many years, through many different meds, it was usually the side effect of throwing up that eventually stopped my adherence. Twice that (going off meds) nearly killed me. The reality of my situation is, that without the meds, death is just a little over 9 months away for me; so I worked with my new doctor (that was a change I made for better health too) to get a regimen that I could tolerate. Unfortunately, I still barf a few times a month but that's been a small price to pay to have some quality and quantity back in my life.
Losing my partner in May, after two months in the hospital, really threw my life into a mess and after being 98% compliant for the last 5 yrs (ironically trying not to die on my partner), I was lucky to be 15% compliance through most of the last 8 months. :-\ Now, that I've been 100% compliant ;D for the last month, I'm having a few new side effects, I think; but I've got a doctor visit coming up in Jan and I'll discuss these new issues then.
I guess I rambled on about my situation some to show you, Tom, that probably everybody has got some mental/physical issues with taking meds; but there's still a pretty big crowd of people here who really have few problems with their meds. You're just going to read more complaints than praise; because, as with everything, when people aren't having a problem, there's nothing to talk about. :D
There's probably a lot of people out there who won't be posting that they took their meds today and everything was fine. ;D Hopefully, when you end up on meds Tom, that'll be how things work out for you too. ;)