POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => I Just Tested Poz => Topic started by: wow1969 on August 11, 2008, 12:41:52 pm
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First, let me say thanks to every one who has responded to my posts. This has turned out to be a resource that has pretty much saved my sanity during this time. However, now I have more confusing information.
1. I was tested five times last year (this is normal for me as I am/was very careful). All of those tests were negative.
2. I have been in a monogomous relationship for the last year. My partner is negative. Because of this, I was not tested until my annual physical.
3. I know that my conversion had to have been December/January.
4. Other than my partner, I have had one other sex partner in the last 15-16 months. I was tested and was negative (Test Date 9-11).
5. When I tested positive I called my ex and let him know the situation. He has tested positive now and has been having some pretty serious emotional trauma over this.
6. I talked to my ex today and he is finally coherent. He says he originally tested poz (Western Blott). So they retested him, using his original blood and it came back negative. He get's his results from another Western Blott this Friday.
I'm very very confused. I know it has to be him. If it's not, I would have to have been poz for a while and then evaded all those tests last year (2 of the 5 were Western Blotts). I just don't see how I could have gotten past five tests in 2007; threee (3) tests in 2006; 3 (three) tests in 2005. I have never had an STD. I'm not a Saint and wouldn't profess to be one, but based on my timelines, he has to be the one.
If my ex turns out to be negative, then how the hell did I end up with this? Better yet, when?
Can someone help me understand this. Has anyone heard of this type of situation?
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Hi wow,
This is like a Sherlock Holmes novel ;)
The only thing I can tell you is ELISAs are very sensitive, if anything they might have given a false positive, but not a false negative if you were tested once finished the window period (3 months).
I'm a little confused about the WB though, both the ones you you said you had and your ex's. WB are confirmatory tests that are only run once an ELISA has turned out positive, so it makes no sense to repeat a WB to see if it's again positive: ELISA positive plus WB positive = HIV positive. Period.
Are you sure you're not confusing WB with ELISA?
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LOL At this point there is no way I would make that kinda error.
I spoke to my Dr. he knows my history and since I had all those negative tests I would have to have been infected about nine years ago and then the virus would have to have evaded the tests for nine years. All of which is highly unlikely. My ID Dr. thinks that my ex just got a false negative which is why they are retesting him and that he going to turn up Poz.
Seriously, this freaked me out a bit since I know when I converted and I know who I slept with. It had/has to be him. I was beginning to think I had some kinda strange new strain htat could evade the tests or something. My Dr. just laughed at that and told me I had the same as everyone else - garden variety HIV.
You know - I hate reading Sherlock Holmes ;)
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Do you wanna bet on whether you have a new test-evading strain? (easy money, easy money!! :P)
Anyhow, I know right now it's difficult, specially given how puzzling the situation seems to be, but eventually you're gonna have to leave behind the "who" gave you the bug, is not the important thing right now ;)
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Loop, I think you are missing the point of what I wrote. I'm not concerned with the "who" as much as I was with the "when". However, the two are not exclusive.
I already know I don't have some kinda supervirus which was making this whole situation even more perplexing.
Just trying to track so that I know what is going on. The more I know, the faster My Squatter can be controlled.
Overall, what i find the hardest to deal with the lack of knowledge. It would be nice to just KNOW.
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I felt the same way you do. I wanted to know, this was my way of getting back the control of the situation. But in my case my last negative test was 3 years and half ago, so finally I had to concede that I was never gonna know for sure.
Your case is different. You have had a much more recent test. Not one, but many: so that does rules out the possibility of a laboratory error. You know when you were negative, you know the risk situations you have had since. You do the math ;)
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I would put my money on your ex being positive. If he already tested positive once on WB, then he's positive. I think he is confused and miscommunicating info to you. If he tested positive once on WB, why would they test him again, as loop pointed out. Hasn't your ex known for like a month now? - why hasn't he already gotten his VL checked and why is he still dilly dallying with anti-body tests? Your ex is positive - no doubt in denial and confused and hearing what he wants to hear because he is hanging onto hope that he's not - but he is positive.
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Wow,
So you THOUGHT you were in a monogamous relationship. You won't be the first nor the last to find out otherwise through a positive hiv result.
What counts now is where do you go from here...? You can choose to live or you can choose to wallow. It's up to you.
Ann
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LOL Ann I do not wallow ... Please do not mistake my desire to understand as wallowing ... to be honest, I think that your comment is rude and inappropriate ... So far, this forum has been a real help to me in trying to understand the process and the effect on my life ... don't ruin that by making assumptions and being rude ... i've being dealing with this for about five weeks so it's VERY new to me ... if you think that I'm not gonna think about it, try to understand and figure out how this started and how it's gonna impact my life you are only fooling yourself ... If I were wallowing, I would not be trying to figure out what is going on so that I can move forward. I started this thread to try to understand what is happening.
Also, I think you need to read my original posting more carefully... I am in a monogomous relationship my partner is negative ... My ex didn't know he was positive ... This is a past relationship, not a current one has lead to this situation. All I am doing is sifting through a ton of information right now.
Best wishes to you
Ann
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LOL At this point there is no way I would make that kinda error.
I spoke to my Dr. he knows my history and since I had all those negative tests I would have to have been infected about nine years ago and then the virus would have to have evaded the tests for nine years. All of which is highly unlikely. My ID Dr. thinks that my ex just got a false negative which is why they are retesting him and that he going to turn up Poz.
Seriously, this freaked me out a bit since I know when I converted and I know who I slept with. It had/has to be him. I was beginning to think I had some kinda strange new strain htat could evade the tests or something. My Dr. just laughed at that and told me I had the same as everyone else - garden variety HIV.
You know - I hate reading Sherlock Holmes ;)
There is no way possible that HIV evaded the HIV tests 9 years. No way possible.
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Wow,
I'm terribly sorry, I didn't intend to sound rude. And I meant your ex, not your partner. My slip of the keyboard.
Perhaps "wallow" wasn't the best choice of words, it was what happened to spring to mind. I should have taken more care and time to explain what I was getting at. I'm not accusing you of wallowing, it was more of a warning to be careful because your quest for understanding of where your virus came from can easily turn into a quagmire. And what really is more important is not what happened in the past - it can't be changed - but where you go from here.
Best wishes to you too. It really does get better, you'll see. But please do yourself a favour and think less of the past and more of the future.
Ann
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Rapid ... I agree I didn't have it for nine years and it was undetected.
Ann ... No worries .. I was just clarifying ... I have actually worked very hard in the last five weeks to not allow this to turn into wallowing. My reason for wanting to try to pinpoint infection date has to do with plotting care and also to rule out other things. It has just been confusing as I am 100% sure it had to be at that time in my life. But I do understand your warning. One of my exes from a few years ago is poz and he said the same thing. Once he realized I wasn't wallowing but attempting to udnerstand he lightened up. My basic personality won't allow for wallowing, at least not for more than 24 hours. I'm just too upbeat to be like that. Most of the time when I post somethign it has happened immediately. What happens is that I deal with stuff immediately and don't allow it to build up. Now that I understand your position and intent better, thank you for your concern and suggestion. I will definitely keep it in mind.
Thank you for the monogomous clarification. My partner wasn't happy when he read that and he's the most laid back person I know. We work very hard on our relationship and take alot of pride in being honest with eachother and supportive. That type of statement kinda underminded that ... now that I understand what you are saying it has now bearing on the current situation. The truth is my ex is still maintaining he didn't cheat which means that he was poz the whole time and didn't know. It also means he lied about getting tested. Strangely, I'm not angry at him. I can't be right now. He's a mess and I'm trying to help him out and be supportive. He's already had a nervous breakdown and has been on suicide watch. No point in kicking someone when they are already down.
Thank you again for taking the time to respond and clarify. I actually feel better about it. As I said this forum has been a real blessing for me. It's been a good place to workout my thoughts and feelings and gain perspective.
Have a wonderful day Ann. :D