Author Topic: Gay doctors (Read 11512 times)

Dragonette · « **on:** August 21, 2007, 07:28:12 pm »

Thank God for gay doctors, especially ID ones. I met one today and he lifted a veil of worryness and stress from my eyes. I saw him privately but he was worth every pound. Thank God for gay doctors, because even if they are not poz they know and care about someone who is. What a difference that was.

Oceanbeach · « **Reply #1 on:** August 21, 2007, 08:00:50 pm »

Hey Dragonette,

When I left Los Angeles, 7 years ago + or -, I asked for a referral for medical care in my new home. I was warned about the lack of care in my new community and welcomed to continue to receive care in L.A.. I was also refered to Dr. Kubota as the best ID doc in the state, and in Santa Rosa. I was not living in Sonoma County and could not get in at the Center for HIV Prevention and Care. I drove 13 hours each way for about the first year for medical care.

Then I heard of Doctor Williamsen, who had been a frequent speaker at many of the "Future of HIV Treatment" seminars sponsored by APLA and other organizations in the Southern California areas. Dr. Williamsen was gay and brilliant, I transferred my care to the local clinic after hearing he was in semi-retirement and living in that community.

I attended his funeral 6 months later. I moved to Sonoma County shortly thereafter and am being treated by Marshall Kubota, who is not gay, and treats only HIV patients in 5 clinics in 3 counties. He was an ER doc when the first HIV/AIDS patients came to that hospital with the unknown disease in the beginning of the pandemic. I moved to Sonoma County almost 3 years ago to be in his care and today, I can say... Dr. Kubota is the best HIV specialist in California. Have the best day
Michael
(who did fall in and out of love with the gay RN at that clinic)

mjmel · « **Reply #2 on:** August 21, 2007, 08:10:46 pm »

Quote from: Dragonette on August 21, 2007, 07:28:12 pm

Thank God for gay doctors, especially ID ones. I met one today and he lifted a veil of worryness and stress from my eyes. I saw him privately but he was worth every pound. Thank God for gay doctors, because even if they are not poz they know and care about someone who is. What a difference that was.

Amen sister! I am glad to hear you are pleased.
My doc is gay too. I definitely lucked out on that coincidence.

Mike

Iggy · « **Reply #3 on:** August 21, 2007, 10:31:41 pm »

My first doc was gay and I actually started using him before I was poz as I wanted to have someone who would think about things like STD's regularly with me. He was a very good doc indeed.

My current doc is a women and I have no clue if she is gay or straight, but she is pretty damn good and unembarressed to talk about anything from sex to diet. I like her a lot.

thunter34 · « **Reply #4 on:** August 21, 2007, 10:44:30 pm »

i would only want a gay doc if i had the choice- for the reasons iggy said. plus, it would be much simpler for me to just communicate openly with a gay doc.

Dragonette · « **Reply #5 on:** August 22, 2007, 01:20:36 am »

yes, it did sound as if I was dissing straight docs and that's not what I meant... I was actually worried later about my phrasing hence apparanetly my awakening at the crack of dawn to correct myself. It does sound like kind of reverse bias. It's just that, since my diagnosis 2 docs identified themselves to me as gay (maybe there were other gay docs but these ones actually said so). One was an eye doc when I was something like 2 days diagnosed and he had to check that I wasn't going to go blind, he just spent time after the actual test on telling me that he knows people like me and that I wil be OK, it will be OK, and he was the first to actually say that and address the void of panic I was in from a place of personal experience.

And this particular doc... his kind eyes and a deep intuition that I have that he knows what it's like to be poz from a firsthand experience (although one can never be 100% sure of course and I couldn't ask), his decades of professional experience, and strangely even a waiting room with gay magazines along the usual women's and lifestyle ones, yes it felt different. It felt like this is what an ID clinic should be. When he tells me things I believe him, whereas I have some level of distrust of my docs in the Netherlands. Not that they are not good professionally, but they don't seem as invested or compassionate.

With my pretty meagre sex life and medicore sex drive I have had a doc tell me that I had HIV coming. Apparently having several partners in 10 years is more than what a respected woman (like his wife?) should have. And no he didn't even ask if my sex was protected or not... I have had another doctor tell me that I will have to "wait and see" regarding lipo, but it "will certainly come eventually". And another tell me that PN is unavoidable and untreatable, except with painkillers. I have had many doctors look at the file, at the computer, but not at me. They don't want to say anything committing either, but this one dares to. He even says yes you can have kids on your regimen and you doctors are simply covering their behind by putting you back on azt for that and that is unnecessary.

So I guess what I meant is, thank God there are some gay docs around and that there are poz doctors too (in a make lemonade out of lemons way, not that I wish any doctor to be poz), it takes away from the clinical lab experience feeling. I haven't felt this trustful of a doctor in a long time

mjmel · « **Reply #6 on:** August 22, 2007, 02:09:07 am »

Dragonette, I recognized from the onstart what you intended to express in your initial post. However this forum does address a broad spectrum of readers.........so I'm hip to the need for your clarification........you might rest easier now.

In 1999 I made my way to a clinic to address this HIV issue I had since 1989 and I lucked out seeing someone who is 'family' which helped my comfort level immensely. In fairness, the concern wasn't the gay or hetero doc as much as someone having an indifferent attitude. I need to believe my doc gives a shit about me. I jokingly told my doc that wherever he goes I will follow. If he moves to Timbucktoo, I'll be packing my shit and moving there too!

Mike

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #7 on:** August 22, 2007, 02:10:45 am »

I umderstood what you meant. I have 2 gay doctors, guess I hit a jackpot. My ID doc and my GYN are gay. I love them both. My ID doc gives me hugs after every appointment. When he first started the hugs, I was kinda thrown off but now looks forward to them. Kinda reminds me of the docs who would give kids lollipops after a visit. My primary doctor is straight and I like him just as much. I guess I hit a trifecta with having 3 good doctors..

BT65 · « **Reply #8 on:** August 22, 2007, 07:48:44 am »

My old ID doctor is gay and has an HIV+ partner (the doctor remains negative). He is a brilliant doctor. He comes to the AA meeting at my church on Saturday nights. He's very kind and compassionate. I remember when one of his patients died earlier on in the pandemic, he was at the memorial service, as was I.

zeb · « **Reply #9 on:** August 22, 2007, 07:57:46 am »

Dragonette,

Great to hear from you! I'm so glad you feel comfortable with this doc.
Hope to speak/meet you soon again!

greetz
Zeb

woodshere · « **Reply #10 on:** August 22, 2007, 08:23:02 am »

My experience isn't quite so good. My former GP doc is gay and is the worst doctor I have ever had. My physical lasted about 10 mins. I asked him to administer the HIV test as part of that physical. Two weeks later he called me at work, told me I was positive and would make a referral. That was the last contact i had with him, unless you count me seeing him at the bars and gay parties all the time.

After that experience I will take the best doctor I can, without regard to sexual orientation!!!

Woods

edited for grammar

emeraldize · « **Reply #11 on:** August 22, 2007, 08:52:50 am »

Drag

I understand what you were posting. My first doc, who soon left for another hospital, was gay and the second, present doc is gay. He's the best. My male nurse is bi and open about it. Between the two of them, I figure there's not much they haven't seen, done or heard and I like their open-mindedness because it translates to my care and my comfort with the clinic. The last thing I want is a judgmental or impersonal medical professional.

They encourage me to do anything I want to do in terms of self care, supplements, etc. as long as I keep them abreast. My doc readily conceded early on " We don't have all the answers!"

BT65 · « **Reply #12 on:** August 22, 2007, 09:50:14 am »

Quote from: emeraldize on August 22, 2007, 08:52:50 am

My doc readily conceded early on " We don't have all the answers!"

That's great he can be so honest, because most of the doctors I've had experiences with would like you to think (or would like themselves to think) the do have all the answers.

gaspode · « **Reply #13 on:** August 22, 2007, 10:50:13 am »

My current HIV doc is gay, but I didn't choose him - just got him when his predecessor left. In 21 years the vast majority of my HIV doctors have been straight, and I don't care what their secuality is - my only concern is that they are good at their job and that I can communicate with them

PeteNYNJ · « **Reply #14 on:** August 22, 2007, 10:51:11 am »

I also have a gay doctor and I love him. I found out I was HIV+ using a home test so I went to him to confirm. He spent an hour with me that day talking about the disease, his experience with it, and what to expect. It was a great relief and was like talking to a very informed friend.

pozattitude · « **Reply #15 on:** August 22, 2007, 02:56:25 pm »

I preffer gay doctors myself but only because I feel more comfortable with them.
I love my ID doc here in San Francisco, he's gay and he has been in practice since the beginning of this shit, so he has seen it all. Besides the fact that I am extremely confident in his expertise, I love the fact that he is so candid about things only another gay man could relate.
For example, I had some parasites sometime ago and when I asked what kind ( I wanted to know if I had gotten it from food or my dogs), he said...you eat too much ass.
now where else am I going to get that kind of answer

Rich

redhotmuslbear · « **Reply #16 on:** August 22, 2007, 03:40:02 pm »

I had a Gay primary doc who did my initial ELISA test in 98, but I had to leave him three years ago after he nearly killed my ex. I broke up with my ex in 2001, and he was HIV-negative. In the summer of 2002 he started running around with a male prostitute who developed syphilis -- they called me to ask what the blister in his cock might be -- and the kid went to our doc who insisted on testing him for HIV. Turned out the kid was HIV+, and my ex was tested but found to still be negative, though he had syphilis, too. Several months later, my ex complained of a cough that would not go away.... two or three months into it, he wound up in the ER with a high fever, got a PCP diagnosis with CD4s less than 100. The doc had not offered any follow-up testing to my ex and didn't put "2 and 2 together" regarding exposure regarding likely exposure to HIV, someone who doesn't take good care of himself anyway, and symptoms that could indicate pneuomonia developing.

My nex primary was Gay, but a prude. My current is terminally hetero but very attractive, and he is enthralled by a Gay man who is so open about his sexual conduct. He's also on the faculty at Georgetown University and feels that treating an LTNP is a great privilege and learning opportunity for him. My ID is a het woman and totally hip, despite several years with the U.S. Army. My dentist, terminally het yet really humpy, but we've known each other since high school -- he cried when I told him the news years ago, and his staff has never been awkward about my care. The only Gay caregivers I have are my NIH protocol researcher and the treatment room nurses there.... mmmm, Public Health Service hotties in their dress-white unfiorms often. Another patient once remarked of the hottest furball nurse "He looks so Officer and a Gentleman." I replied "Yes, but he's after the Debra Winger role!" .... good thing I had been seen already!

bear60 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 22, 2007, 04:15:52 pm »

I totally understand what Dragon meant...and that she was not dissing straight doctors. It IS nice to be treated by someone who really KNOWS.
MY first gay doctor died of AIDS.
My second gay doctor was nice but I thought he was too busy. He was never very attentive. He disappeared for some reason I dont remember.
My third gay doctor had the largest number of HIV positive patients in the entire Philadelphia area.......he eventually had a physicans assistant see anyone who came in for routine visits. In fact he was so busy that he won all kinds of honors and was participating in research programs ( one was for a vaccine). By 1995 he had burned out so badly that he went to a place like Betty Ford for treatment. I dont know all the details but he was an addict by this time, I believe.
My current doctor is a heterosexual woman and she is pretty good but I always remember the gay docs with some nostalgia because regardless of their shortcomings, they really did understand. You didnt have to say..." Eer ah, doctor, I have some pain in my rectal area"...... grimace. And that finger going in really did know what it was doing!

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #18 on:** August 22, 2007, 10:27:03 pm »

" We don't have all the answers!".......That sounds like my ID doc except add to that "We aren't Gods"...

carousel · « **Reply #19 on:** August 23, 2007, 10:48:26 am »

I think my consultant is gay. I'm not sure, but it isn't really that important to me. I don't believe it gives some special insight into my medical care. I get on with him, he's great, but I don't think about him too much.

My GP is female, it's an all woman practice. They are very good, once you get past the bitch on reception.

GSOgymrat · « **Reply #20 on:** August 23, 2007, 10:55:57 am »

My PCP for the past 12 years is gay. I didn't go to him because he's gay but because he was in my insurance network. We have had a very good working relationship but I don't find him any easier to talk to because he's gay. I mainly like him because he sees me quickly and admits when he doesn't have the answers.

jinghua · « **Reply #21 on:** August 23, 2007, 11:18:43 am »

i am seeing a doctor when i am sick, an i think he is gay~~~because he is always looking straight into my eyes and so concern about my every conditions (somehow i am so glad i told him about my status....)

However, he is already 50+ !!! hahaha....not for me...

So agree with dragonette....i wish to have all my doctors GAY~~~

Jing Hua

frenchpat · « **Reply #22 on:** August 23, 2007, 11:43:22 am »

If the doctor I see is competent and caring, I know I can talk about whatever i am doing, or is going on, with my body. And I expect the doc to answer my questions, including with "I don't know", if he/she really doesn't.

A competent doctor is what I am interested in. As to his/her sexual preference they are part of his/her private life. I believe a competent doctor is capable of treating and understanding all patients, regardless of their sexual orientation, skin colour or political party affiliation. I couldn't care less if my doctors are straight, bi, gay or zoophiles, as long as they are GOOD.

Pat

cayucosguy · « **Reply #23 on:** August 23, 2007, 01:44:59 pm »

My current ID in SF is gay, and my HPV specialist at UCSF is lesbian (my former HPV specialist was also a gay man, but he unfortunately passed away earlier this year).
My GP in San Luis Obispo County isn't gay, but he is one of the kindest, most thoughtful doctors I have ever had. I've been seeing him for over 20 years, and I was his very first poz patient. He impressed me with his total dedication to my treatment. He went so far as to take two weeks off to go to special HIV/AIDS training and workshops, just so we both knew what we were talking about. But after the second or third OI, we both agreed that I needed to see a specialist.
It is easier to talk to my gay doc about sexual issues, just because....

buca45 · « **Reply #24 on:** August 23, 2007, 02:15:55 pm »

You know I had to laugh when I first read the title of this thread as it broughtback memories of the one and only gay doctor I have had.
It was during my first physical and I just got a feeling that he was more interested in me and my body than he was in my illness. I hadnt given it much thought until I had read a few articles that told of gay docs 'hitting up' on their clients when it dawned on me this flake fit into that category.
Looking back at the physical, he took way too much time examining my crotch, both front and back and almost got the feeling he was stroking me rather than examining me. Same with the rubber glove exam....one thing i can say is that he was more than thorough!! That was the longest most uncomfortable exam I've ever had. EEWWWW getting chills at the thought of how he behaved during my initial exam and the subsequent one.
I finally had enough of his 'oh so close' whispering in my ear that I got my scripts for 5 months and spent that time finding a new doc. But it didnt stop there...the guy (not his office or nurse) called me repeatedly to see why I wasnt coming back in.
Never again, I look for wedding rings, pics of kids, inquire about wives...anything I can to assure I have a str8 doctor. As far as exams, my latest doc glanced over my privates and asked me to move my tool around as he didnt like to 'violate his patients' privacy (as he put it).
No, I don't want or will accept another gay doc again.
Oh yeah, yes I am gay.....

LatinAlexander · « **Reply #25 on:** August 23, 2007, 06:14:36 pm »

One of the issues with a gay doctor is that if the doc happens to be hot or nice, or sexy or all of them, well, you would have to give an awful lot of explanations for the "male-between-my-legs-when-a-hottie-is-around" thing

I had a VERY HOT doctor before being HIV+ (Once he told me he used to be a model). I simply had to leave him. Couldn't handle his hot-ness

Alex

milker · « **Reply #26 on:** August 24, 2007, 12:05:29 am »

When I saw my ID doc for the first time I thought "woohoo a gay doctor!". My gaydar totally failed me. He's str8. With a killer smile and a sweet voice, a goatee and polished nails. Go figure.

But he fingered me at my first visit.

Milker.

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #27 on:** August 24, 2007, 12:30:23 am »

I tapped into an entire Gay Mafia medical community in NYC. My HIV doc was gay, as was my dentist, my dermatologist, my butt hole doctor, my psychiatrist... I'm probably forgetting someone.

Most also took all insurance payments "on assignment" and didn't charge me any co-pays or deductibles for 8 years or so.

milker · « **Reply #28 on:** August 24, 2007, 12:33:02 am »

ok i'm the only one that has no gay doctor, no gay dentist, no gay proctologist

Milker (who notices that the spell checker offers "cryptologist" as an alternative to "proctologist").

Miss Philicia · « **Reply #29 on:** August 24, 2007, 12:34:22 am »

My gay butt hole doctor was even a Radical Faerie

buca45 · « **Reply #30 on:** August 24, 2007, 12:48:22 am »

Quote from: milker on August 24, 2007, 12:33:02 am

ok i'm the only one that has no gay doctor, no gay dentist, no gay proctologist

Milker (who notices that the spell checker offers "cryptologist" as an alternative to "proctologist").

LOL at cryptologist.....

you missed my post about being taken advantage on the guise of a physical.
No gay docs here and dont want one!!! Str8 men only please......

+Man · « **Reply #31 on:** August 24, 2007, 01:12:29 am »

Love my gay doctors - A month ago my regular doctor asked, "Where did you get those underwear?" I was like, "GinchGonch.com, lady"

Forums Index

Welcome

Author Topic: Gay doctors (Read 11512 times)