To Blessed To Be Stressed

[Afraid]

I just needed to come online and vent, and share with you all the things that I have been going through the last couple of weeks.

OK I had shared with you all that I was going through problems with my job, you know being able to get time off etc, for my appointments. I haven't been there a year so I don't qualify for EML, so I am just assed out when it comes to job protection, I wasn't feeling the best for a couple of days and I decided to say F*ck it, and call off from work to go see my PCP, I am not sure what happend but the next thing I know I was having a seizure, which never happend before, I can't even tell you how I made it to the hospital because I don't remember. So comes to find out I have epilepsy, they took me out of work for a month. I went on STD, and when I returned back to work it happend there. so I am now back out again. I am really stressed out concerned about if I'm going to loose my Job or what have you. I don't know what to do at this point. I am just praying that my job understands. I had to disclose my status to the person that was handling my STD case, which made me cry. It just made me realize that I am going to be going through this for the rest of my life. as I was crying my phone beeped and I looked and it was my best friend in the whole entire world.


I answered and she was hysterical she told me that her brother was killed and that she has witnessed the murder. I didn't know what to say. I just talked to her made her laugh about certain things her brother did or said. I told her to call me whenever she needed to vent about her loss.

She called ad told me that his service was being help that Friday, and I was like well I would be there.
I got to the service and the most weirdest feeling entered my body. It was so packed with people I haven't seen in years.  I walked into the room where the remains was being held, and I seen my Girlfriend she embraced me and I held on to her we just hugged and talk to one another for like 15 minutes. I haven't seen her in almost a year and it was said that it had to be under the circumstances.

The preacher began to speak, and he had my attention as he spoke I just began to reflect on my life, and all the things that I have to be grateful about. here it is this 22yr old man was laying in a casket life stolen from him, he doesn't have a chance in the world to fight for his life like I do. I t just made me appreciate so many things that I was taking for granted like that fact that my life isn't over. Even though I have to make adjustments. I still have a life.

I can fight for my life. I have the opportunity to to whatever it is that I want to do.
On that day I decided to no longer feel sorry for myself, but be happy that I am still alive and healthy and happy. My life isn't the fairy tale that I always dreamed about, but I will try my best to get it as close as possible to it, as I can.

It's just sad that it took my best friend to loose her brother for me to realize that I am to blessed to be stressed.

Camry

[ubotts]

Life is strange at times..
One never knows and walks around in a daze, consumed by there own grief, until
they hear about someone Else's troubles..

In this matter death..

Its a bitch being Ill and having to hide it from some people, but Life goes on for you and myself as well..

Just take it a day at a time.....Shit happens and we have no choice but to deal with it.
Its good to vent.. and iam glad you posted.

We are all here for each other..Some of us have good days and some days we would like to stay under the covers........

Things pass, and you move on...You get blocked now and then with too much on your plate, but ya keep on going.....

We are amongst the living..So live life the best you can...

I try to do that every day, because everyday is a gift from god

[BT65]

Wow Cam-
  You just made me realize that my problems I'm having right now aren't quite the mountains I make them out to be.  It was really inspiring to read you thread.  I'm so sorry about you having epilepsy.  That's got to suck.  Are you on medication for that now?  Also sorry to hear about your friend's brother.  I don't know what I would be like if I saw a murder of anyone, let alone my own brother. 

Thanks for that.  I needed to read it.