Author Topic: HIV as a disease of convenience. (Read 11049 times)

aupointillimite · « **on:** March 25, 2007, 10:09:13 pm »

In that I use it to make my life more convenient in the oddest moments.

Sometimes, I love it so much, I could kiss it.

For example, if I owe the IRS money, when I call them I tell them that I have AIDS. I don't have teh AIDS, but it's fun to take advantage of other people's ignorance if I have to suffer from the same from time to time. I cough a little into the phone during the conversation, and I'm allowed to make really low monthly payments.

Thank you, HIV.

When my roommate finds a dead mouse in her bed, I don't have to pick it up for her because, "I might catch something from the corpse."

Thank you, HIV.

Do I not want to go out and deal with stupid people who have been blowing up my phone? Sorry, my meds are making me feel like shit... so I'm gonna stay in and drink beer with my awesome friends.

Thank you, HIV.

And the most recent happening. A friend of ours called Liz to ask if she could spend the night at our place. This particular friend has abused our hospitality before (a couple months ago, it took us almost a week to get rid of her... after she ate our food and smoked our cigarettes and didn't pay us back), and Liz had the insight to realize she was ill and said, "Sorry sweetie, you're sick. Benj can't be around that." I can, of course, but our friend doesn't know that. And we get to turn her out without being overtly rude.

Thank you, HIV.

Personally, I feel like I'm owed this... since stupid HIV puts all of us through so much crap... if I choose to cynically manipulate other people with it, I feel like it's no big deal.

Does anyone else do this? I bet you do.

puertorico2006 · « **Reply #1 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:31:55 pm »

i dont have to clean the cat shit anymore so thats a plus i suppose lol....

im sure if i were to fall behind in school i could play that card also (but that would never happen hahaha)...

i guess its ok to do if you dont abuse it....

but dont play that card too much or people realize your full of shit haha

milker · « **Reply #2 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:39:07 pm »

aupoint this has nothing to do with HIV. You're twisted and you would find any reason that would scare the shit outta people to avoid something.

Something like "I'm just back from Nigeria and i'm not feeling well, but it may be because I didn't get the yellow fever shot before going there?

?" will do too.

I have a problem using HIV to scare people, seeing how it already scares people that I'm just trying to be friends with.

Milker.

aupointillimite · « **Reply #3 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:39:36 pm »

Quote from: puertorico2006 on March 25, 2007, 10:31:55 pm

but dont play that card too much or people realize your full of shit haha

Never, ever play your trump cards too much.

That's when people expect them... so you have to be judicious in your use of playing things to your advantage.

But seriously... who can say no to HIV?

That's what I thought. Nobody.

aupointillimite · « **Reply #4 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:40:13 pm »

Quote from: milker on March 25, 2007, 10:39:07 pm

aupoint this has nothing to do with HIV. You're twisted and you would find any reason that would scare the shit outta people to avoid something.

Something like "I'm just back from Nigeria and i'm not feeling well, but it may be because I didn't get the yellow fever shot before going there??" will do too.

I have a problem using HIV to scare people, seeing how it already scares people that I'm just trying to be friends with.

Milker.

Get back to me when you've had it longer than a month.

kthxbye

milker · « **Reply #5 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:42:43 pm »

Quote from: aupointillimite on March 25, 2007, 10:40:13 pm

Get back to me when you've had it longer than a month.

Will do. And you'd better be ready

Milker.

egello · « **Reply #6 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:43:50 pm »

however, i did notice that guys that used to flirt with me, don't flirt with me anymore, as if they have closed my chapter for good....

but it could also be that they realize that I have been with my partner for 4 years now...

but maybe they don't realize that we are having semi open relationship

aupointillimite · « **Reply #7 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:44:59 pm »

I've noticed that, too... which sucks a lot.

So, I try to make good things for me happen from it.

Good things like "no touching mouse bodies."

aupointillimite · « **Reply #8 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:46:49 pm »

Quote from: milker on March 25, 2007, 10:42:43 pm

Will do. And you'd better be ready

Oh, I'm ready for pretty much everything.

Except for natural disasters and a nuclear war.

Woefully unprepared for those.

milker · « **Reply #9 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:48:02 pm »

Quote from: aupointillimite on March 25, 2007, 10:46:49 pm

Oh, I'm ready for pretty much everything.

Except for natural disasters and a nuclear war.

Woefully unprepared for those.

Duct tape, baby. Trust our Homeland Security. Duct tape.

Milker.

Dachshund · « **Reply #10 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:50:23 pm »

Quote from: aupointillimite on March 25, 2007, 10:46:49 pm

Oh, I'm ready for pretty much everything.

Except for natural disasters and a nuclear war.

Woefully unprepared for those.

nuclear war would be nice

Life · « **Reply #11 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:51:49 pm »

Sick, twisted, bent, perverted, evilish, devlish and wise....

WWIII coming to a theater near you.......

Lis · « **Reply #12 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:52:39 pm »

I REALLY like it when i cant breath or speak ... its totally fun to see who can get the nebulizer firsts!!!

ROCK ON!!!

not

fearless · « **Reply #13 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:53:58 pm »

All the time, Benj.

Membership has its privileges.

milker · « **Reply #14 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:54:11 pm »

I'm just waiting for the opportunity to spank Aupoint. And yes, it will be on xtube.

Milker.

Dachshund · « **Reply #15 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:54:28 pm »

Quote from: Lis on March 25, 2007, 10:52:39 pm

I REALLY like it when i cant breath or speak ... its totally fun to see who can get the nebulizer firsts!!!

ROCK ON!!!

not

at this very moment i really love you

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #16 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:57:40 pm »

Only you could come up with using HIV as an excuse, Benj.....

I use my diabetes as excuses not to go places with friends or to stay home....You know like, nah I got the jitters cause my sugar is too low, which happens to me and I hate it. Or, the opposite, I'm getting a headache, my sugar must be high, I think I'm gonna chill. I only use these excuses on a personal level...nothing professional...

thunter34 · « **Reply #17 on:** March 25, 2007, 10:58:37 pm »

I'll own it! And I think the statement Benj made about "taking cynical advantage of their ignorance when I have to suffer from the same" sums up my motives pretty well also.

I can't think of any specifics at the moment, but I will if I think on it. I do know that I have played that card to avoid unwanted social engagements before.

I think if you used judiciously, it can be filed under: making lemonade.

HIV provides a steady supply of lemons.

PS- People can bark all they want about this thread. I think Benj gets kudos for naked honesty.

Dachshund · « **Reply #18 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:01:46 pm »

benjaltens is spot on think how many times you have used hiv...just talking to yourself.

Lis · « **Reply #19 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:03:18 pm »

I care for Benj more then he knows..... be well dear man.....

aupointillimite · « **Reply #20 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:05:16 pm »

Quote from: thunter34 on March 25, 2007, 10:58:37 pm

I'll own it! And I think the statement Benj made about "taking cynical advantage of their ignorance when I have to suffer from the same" sums up my motives pretty well also.

I can't think of any specifics at the moment, but I will if I think on it. I do know that I have played that card to avoid unwanted social engagements before.

I think if you used judiciously, it can be filed under: making lemonade.

HIV provides a steady supply of lemons.

PS- People can bark all they want about this thread. I think Benj gets kudos for naked honesty.

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka... and have a party."

-Ron White

And thank you, Tim. Although regarding naked honesty, I know that my autopsy will reveal that that my mouth was too damn big.

aupointillimite · « **Reply #21 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:05:59 pm »

Quote from: Lis on March 25, 2007, 11:03:18 pm

I care for Benj more then he knows..... be well dear man.....

I know you do, Lis!

I shall be well... and you do the same!

thunter34 · « **Reply #22 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:08:55 pm »

To clarify: Some of those social engagements I mentioned above involved things like trips to visit members of extended family. Be it known that the farther reaching branches of my mountain family tree include redneck / hick folks of the "goddam niggers and faggots are ruining the country" variety. I would likely be expected keep my lips shut in the interest of the peace.

So yes, I will quickly and happily deal out the HIV Card for such occasions.

And no, it isn't entirely a lie to say that "I think I might get too ill to make it through a visit like that"

Lemonade.

Dachshund · « **Reply #23 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:14:11 pm »

Since we are always dealt from the bottom of the deck, women, gays and people of color can play any fuckin' card we want to.

aupointillimite · « **Reply #24 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:14:29 pm »

Quote from: thunter34 on March 25, 2007, 11:08:55 pm

To clarify: Some of those social engagements I mentioned above involved things like trips to visit members of extended family. Be it known that the farther reaching branches of my mountain family tree include redneck / hick folks of the "goddam niggers and faggots are ruining the country" variety. I would likely be expected keep my lips shut in the interest of the peace.

So yes, I will quickly and happily deal out the HIV Card for such occasions.

And no, it isn't entirely a lie to say that "I think I might get too ill to make it through a visit like that"

Lemonade.

And instead you come to see me and my vodka.

Party.

Lis · « **Reply #25 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:16:46 pm »

NOOOOOO

it was my RUM!!!!

thunter34 · « **Reply #26 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:18:29 pm »

Quote from: aupointillimite on March 25, 2007, 11:14:29 pm

And instead you come to see me and my vodka.

Party.

ABSOLUTE ly.

I mean really, folks: If you were facing a social engagement of that caliber, you wouldn't consider playing the HIV card?

Thought so.

Queen Tokelove · « **Reply #27 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:19:55 pm »

Damn, Aunty, you're right. I got a few cards to play...a woman...2 minorities....black and puerto rican....diabetes and hiv...I have a trifecta.......I knew there was a reason why I love you......

Dachshund · « **Reply #28 on:** March 25, 2007, 11:24:09 pm »

Quote from: Queen Akasha on March 25, 2007, 11:19:55 pm

Damn, Aunty, you're right. I got a few cards to play...a woman...2 minorities....black and puerto rican....diabetes and hiv...I have a trifecta.......I knew there was a reason why I love you......

my point is you are the only one with a right to bitch...four hundred years of slavery sealed that deal.

Bucko · « **Reply #29 on:** March 26, 2007, 01:33:57 am »

I'm sitting at Lis' table. She's got rum.

Brent
(Who enjoys a tall cool one on occasion)

StrongGuy · « **Reply #30 on:** March 26, 2007, 02:12:36 am »

I have in the past here and there but never too specific ("I'm tired a bit under the weather today" and people usually put two and two together), but it recently backfired on me a few months ago.

It was my nephews b-day party and I had a long stressful work week and all I wanted to do was hang low so i told my brother I was feeling under the weather to avoid going. An hour later I had my mother and other siblings calling all worried and I felt SO GUILTY stressing them out I vowed no more lies like that again when it comes to the family...

Work and annoying friends, that's another story -- but I wouldn't make a habit of it. I don't want Karma biting me in the ass...

penguin · « **Reply #31 on:** March 26, 2007, 08:00:29 am »

to get a seat on london's public transport network, and to get appointments, yes, sometimes

the key, of course, is to get just the right amount of crazy behind the eyes, as you mutter I've got The Aids ... you're looking to create a sense of unease, unpredictability here, rather than all out panic

also been used by friends (on my behalf) to get an extra ticket for a concert...and (once, just once) to get a table at a very busy restaurant - i was looking pretty rough at the time though, so i don't think anyone suspected.

kate

Coffeechick88 · « **Reply #32 on:** March 26, 2007, 09:39:32 pm »

Oh yeah, HIV is a good thing to fall back on if you need it. It helped me in college in the form of extra time for assignments and more time to take tests. Sure when I was at my sickest, I did need it, but even when I was on meds and feeling better, all they had to hear was HIV and suddenly I got all this sympathy and they were willing to work with me if I needed more time for this or that, etc. I use it to get out of family gatherings (the ones who love Bush, always hated my black boyfriends, and hated my very straight guy friend because they thought he was gay simply due to him being in theater)--the under the weather excuse works. It works to avoid my mom. "No, I can't go out with you and your sisters, my meds are giving me issues today." and then I stay in, invite some people over for drinks. I definitely will let ignorance work in my favor at times.

Though I have learned you need to be careful in how often you use it. Right now, the people who I am closest to, like my grandmother know I am full of shit so it doesn't always work.

sdcabincrew74 · « **Reply #33 on:** March 27, 2007, 03:52:32 pm »

I play the AIDS card very rarely. However, if you are in urgent care or at the ER and you say that you have AIDS (which technically I did at one point) you do not have to wait for treatment, LOL.

AlanBama · « **Reply #34 on:** March 27, 2007, 07:20:05 pm »

I've played the AIDS card over my 20 year history when I needed to, and I'm sure I will do so again.

The sad part is when you HAVE to play it, for real. As in: "I am on my deathbed and I really cannot make the payment you are demanding."

or "No I can't come into the doctor's office today, because I cannot stand up."

I guess what I'm trying to say is I want to play the AIDS card, and not let it play me. Does that make any sense?

tigger2376 · « **Reply #35 on:** March 27, 2007, 07:49:22 pm »

i've more used the fact that I have disabled status...scream the 'd'iscrimination word, and people get very nervous! Tried both with my bank though,and theyr'e still fleecing me.
I try not to use it, but hey, there have to be SOME advantages?

milker · « **Reply #36 on:** March 27, 2007, 07:58:50 pm »

I hate my dentist but he's so fucking good that I stick with him, and I called today because I have a cleaning appointment, and said "I have to tell you that I'm HIV POSITIVE" hoping that he would have a moment of silence or something that I could use against him but his answer was "Oh thanks for telling me, you know this doesn't change anything about how we treat our patients! How are you feeling? I look forward to seeing you and don't worry at all about this related to your dental treatment! It's good that we know, in case we find something suspicious. See you next week !"

Grrrrrrrrr

Milker.

DingoBoi · « **Reply #37 on:** March 27, 2007, 10:37:06 pm »

I have played the 'aids' card for personal gain. I did it with a stalker, which didn't quite work out quite right.

He still liked me and I thought that was my 'trump card' to get him to stop.

I suppose I do use that in my work attendance as well.

I don't sleep well and am often late, by a minute or two to work. I roll out of bed and go to work.

Of course, my FMLA leave has been in a 'FUCKING PENDING STATUS' for nearly two FUCKING YEARS.

And that would be HEWITT ASSOCIATES.

Oh, they have been slowly working their way through the process and I'm on my last determination from an 'independent' doctor.

Lucky for me the law lets me dictate that we have to agree on the doctor and I will never do that, because they can't find a doctor who meets my requirements of having the majority of their practice dealing with hiv (the last doc they picked for me had 14% of his patients having hiv and of those most were 50+)

I don't consider him an expert no matter how long he's treated hiv people.

My current doctor treats about 67% of his patients with primary hiv infection. No other doctor in orlando comes close except his practice partner who my company wouldn't approve.

Sorry Hewitt, but there's only one good practice for hiv fags in orlando.

And as much as they have fucked me around with delaying my 'approval' for fmla (which is primarily needed due to a highly restrictive attendance policy) for almost two years.. I'm getting pissed.

I should be pissed and i want to be pissed.

and I need to file a formal complaint with the department of labor.

This should not take, for the entire proceedings nearly 2 years to approve or deny.

How fucked up is that? It leaves me wondering and worrying if I'll still have a job when I go to work the next day. Stress isn't good for the hi-fivers.

milker · « **Reply #38 on:** March 27, 2007, 11:38:38 pm »

I'm sorry Dingo, but I didn't understand ANYTHING about your post $:-\$

puertorico2006 · « **Reply #39 on:** March 27, 2007, 11:40:31 pm »

Quote from: milker on March 27, 2007, 11:38:38 pm

I'm sorry Dingo, but I didn't understand ANYTHING about your post $:-\$

i didnt either.....i thought it was just me having one of those foggy days ...i got lost

DingoBoi · « **Reply #40 on:** March 28, 2007, 02:15:22 am »

you both have aids dementia.

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Author Topic: HIV as a disease of convenience. (Read 11049 times)