POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: newbernswiss on July 31, 2007, 02:33:14 pm
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Just wondering who is the most influential Hiv Positive person in your life (other than yourself) and why this person has made such an impact on you.
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Do you mean in person or online? I don't know any other poz person here except for my gay friends and since they just got diagnosed, I can't say them. If online then it would be a few different people and for many different reasons...
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Would this be someone who is :
1 alive
2. we know personally
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Because I guess the person who had the most influence on me was my doctor, who died of HIV, and who has had a clinic named for him. His name was Peter Mazzoni and I remember well the shock of learning he was rapidly declining despite all efforts to keep him alive. I remember finding out how he had tried to maintain his practice and keep his HIV positive patients well tended to despite being so ill himself. I remember seeing him for the last time in the hospital when he was the patient and thinking how ironical that the roles had been reversed for him. I remember that he was in a section of the hospital exclusively dedicated to AIDS patients. I remember going to his memorial service and being so glad that his family chose to honor him with a clinic in his name.
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great question newbernswiss,
i actually have 2 positive folks who are very influencial forces in my life.
the first is my wife & life partner, cindy, who has been both a stabilizing force in my daily life, as well as my greatest supporter.
over the past 13 years that i have been involved as an aids advocate, cindy has supported my every effort, by taking over my insurance agency, so i could leave it to attend the vast number of meetings, conferences, functions, mentoring, public speaking and legislative visits. at the same time, she has been willing to stand with me in disclosing our hiv status to the media and to those we do public speaking for. i could not have possibly participated in these activities to the extent i do and maintain a profitable business without her willingness to take control of my office and without her undying support.
recently i have considered leaving the insurance business to pursue a paying job in the aids field, which would obviously create a financial sacrifice on our part. but she is so convinced i would be much happier in this thing full time that she has done nothing more than encourage me 100%, even though she would need to pursue alternative employment in the process.
this means the world to me, especially after coming out of a first marriage where i had no support whatsoever. she is my rock!
the second person of influence is regan hofmann, who, to me, represents the heterosexual face of aids that i have lived for the past 22 years. the big difference between she and i, however, is that i am not in a powerful enough position, like regan, where hetero's, who choose to hide behind their disease, can see the positive difference outing oneself can bring to our lives, and at the same time, help to reduce the stigma associated with this disease.
in just the short time regan has held her position as editor in chief, she has landed on oprah, diane sawyer, and become a world-wide representative for positive hetero females during her recent trip to southeast asia & australia.
my hope is that with each new venture regan is involved in, more and more hetero's will get to see that it is ok to be public about your hiv. that folks should fear the virus, not us. and that hetero's start to become more involved in advocasy and aids organizations so that we have more of a voice.
kellyspoppi
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The people I know on this forum because without them I would be alone. The only time I am around other HIV+ ppl is when I am waiting at the CDC clinic to see the Dr. But, If I had to choose ONE PERSON it would be Moffie.
Dan
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My friend Pedro.
Many of you may know Pedro, he was the face of AIDS for the entire MTV generation on The Real World San Francisco.
I met Pedro when we were in high school but we did not become friends. It was later, after I went to college and came out that I met Pedro again. By this time Pedro had full blown AIDS and he was going to testify in Congress and he was making his video for the casting of The Real Word.
Pedro was full of life, he was gorgeous, kind, everything you could ask for in a man. Most important, he was an activist who gave AIDS a the face for an entire generation of MTV viewers and change the way we look at this disease.
I miss Pedro, I wish I had more time to get to known him better :'(
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I would have to agree with Dan and say the people here on the forums have been an inspiration to me for many different reasons...
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The only real exposure I've had to other + people has been online (besides a couple of exceptions). This might come across as sounding cold or something, but the snuggily, warm, supportive thing isn't what makes me admire someone for living with this - it's the people that have it, but don't let it define them. Or the people that are able to look at all the crap they have to go through and all the crap they have to watch the people they love go through and still manage to be there for other people and let other people be there for them. I don't think it's a matter of who is the most open about it or who does the most activism (even though it helps, I don't think that's what makes someone influential).
I'm just a normal person, so knowing that there are other normal people out there that have all these issues to think about every day yet still manage to be humorous and fun and happy and compassionate and don't let those issues get in the way of those things. I'd like to think that I can live without the HIV thing being brought up in my face or like, I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, without the need for ME to bring it up all the time.
I'm rambling now so I'm done, but, yeah. And there are a handful of people that have pretty much defined this for me and I love them so much. I would be so depressed all the time if I wouldn't have met them.
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Two out of my three best friends are HIV+. I guess I should say that they're the most influential but really they're not. I've known both for 17 years, so they're old friends.
One was infected about a year before me, but didn't go on meds until quite some time after me and has always played around with HIV meds so much he's only taken about half and still never had resistance issues. He's currently on a 2-year holiday with seemingly no ill effect, though he's known to take creative license with any and all personal information so I don't ask about such things but so much -- you know the type! Don't get me wrong. He's one of my bestest girlfriends but I know her number well. He can be good emotional support at times though, and was immeasurably a good support my first year just to have a best friend who was in the same boat. Most people don't have that.
My other positive friend was infected quite some time after me, and has not gone on meds yet which is great for him. He had a bad meth addiction for years (oddly didn't hurt his numbers) and I had to be The Interventionist and our friendship got somewhat damaged with the drama. It's been slowly on the mend now the past two years but I question whether it will ever return to what it was.
Overall though my biggest support has come from an HIV negative heterosexual girl, but that's not the answer we're looking for here.
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The only real exposure I've had to other + people has been online (besides a couple of exceptions). This might come across as sounding cold or something, but the snuggily, warm, supportive thing isn't what makes me admire someone for living with this - it's the people that have it, but don't let it define them. Or the people that are able to look at all the crap they have to go through and all the crap they have to watch the people they love go through and still manage to be there for other people and let other people be there for them. I don't think it's a matter of who is the most open about it or who does the most activism (even though it helps, I don't think that's what makes someone influential).
I'm just a normal person, so knowing that there are other normal people out there that have all these issues to think about every day yet still manage to be humorous and fun and happy and compassionate and don't let those issues get in the way of those things. I'd like to think that I can live without the HIV thing being brought up in my face or like, I don't know if this makes sense to anyone else, without the need for ME to bring it up all the time.
I'm rambling now so I'm done, but, yeah. And there are a handful of people that have pretty much defined this for me and I love them so much. I would be so depressed all the time if I wouldn't have met them.
This was written by someone who is inspirational! The words chosen speak volumes as to why he inspires me. (hope it was ok to change influential to inspirational)
Woods
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The most influential to me was a single mother with AIDS I knew in the early 90's, who unforunately, died what seems like a long time ago. :'( She was divorced; her ex- (the father of her two adorable girls) never paid her any support. She worked as a waitress until she was so exhausted from the ravages of the virus, she was leaning up against the wall between taking orders, just to keep food on the table for her girls. She lived through a LOT of prejudice. Her ex's new wife called the school her oldest girl went to and got the word out about Laura. The kids at the school would make fun of her oldest daughter at recess saying things like "ha ha ha, your mom's gonna die." Laura gave her daughters love and compassion, even in her dying. Her youngest daughter drew a picture one time, without prompting, of the earth with a band-aid on it and wrote "The world is hurted." The ASO here made it into a t-shirt. It was a sad day when Laura passed. But she taught me a lot about peace and what's important in life.
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my dear little mouse,
i wasn't quite sure how to take your post and since i'm not that computer savy i will have to try to comment on it from memory.
first of all, since you are new to this world of hiv, having been infected only a few years ago (age 14), i will let slide the "warm & snuggy" comments about my post, as well as your assumptions about who i am with my hiv, and what my life might be like living with it. because you are in your late teens, i will forgive you for not understanding what i've seen, or what i've been through in the last 22 years, nor my wife who has been infected for as long as you have been alive.
what i would like to tell you though, is that if it wasn't for those here today who have chose to pick up & carry the torch of activism, reluctantly let go by those brothers and sisters we've lost along the way, your life with hiv might be a living hell, or worse yet, a death sentence.
i'm just as "normal" as you are. the difference is, i'm not walking through life with blinders on, thinking that if i don't say anything about my hiv, or make a fuss about decreases in funding for our meds and services, know one will know who i really am and life will continue to be normal.
you know what. if i was your age and this were part of my life, as it is yours, knowing what i was doing back when i was 16 or 17, i wouldn't want this thing ruling my life either. i would want it as far out of my life as possible. that is your right of passage as a teenager. have your fun now while you can and do the things kids your age should be doing.
but don't think for one second that you know enough about me to be judgemental about my life and how i chose to live it. especially when it is people like me that may be the ones saving your ass from a living hell when you get to be our age. it is the LTS's on this forum that are paving the way for you to live a long and healthy life with your hiv, and are trying to make it as "normal" for you as it can possibly be.
we are fighting the fight in congress so that you will have access to care when you need it most. for you, that may be when i'm long gone from this earth. i just hope that when the day comes that you are viewing a panel of the names project quilt for my wife and i, you show a bit more respect than you did in your post. i believe we earned it.
i go to concerts, i like to play sports, i like to go to the beach, and i love to party.
but i also know that if i do not try to do something to control my life with hiv, those idiot politicians will strip me of ability to live that "normal" life you speak of. and if i can't feel free enough at this age of my life to talk to others about my illness, without fear of reprocussions, then shame on me for not trying.
you know what is the best thing about being the second mouse through the door?
HE ALWAYS GETS THE CHEESE!
kellyspoppi
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you know what. if i was your age and this were part of my life, as it is yours, knowing what i was doing back when i was 16 or 17, i wouldn't want this thing ruling my life either. i would want it as far out of my life as possible. that is your right of passage as a teenager. have your fun now while you can and do the things kids your age should be doing.
but don't think for one second that you know enough about me to be judgemental about my life and how i chose to live it. especially when it is people like me that may be the ones saving your ass from a living hell when you get to be our age. it is the LTS's on this forum that are paving the way for you to live a long and healthy life with your hiv, and are trying to make it as "normal" for you as it can possibly be.
we are fighting the fight in congress so that you will have access to care when you need it most. for you, that may be when i'm long gone from this earth. i just hope that when the day comes that you are viewing a panel of the names project quilt for my wife and i, you show a bit more respect than you did in your post. i believe we earned it.
KP,
I don't think that the Smaller One was commenting on your post as such. I think he was offering us an opportunity to understand what a kid with HIV goes through and those things which inform his view of the world, particularly with reference to his life with HIV.
I think your ponderous and misinformed criticisms of Squeakie are somewhat out of place. Nowhere in his post did I read anything was disrespectful towards you or people like you, and after reading your paternalistic and condescending comments to him I would say you've got a fair way to go before you're entitled to his respect.
You counsel the boy not to be judgemental. Perhaps a dose of your own advice might do you some good. Jaser is not "new" to the world of HIV. Most of his teen years have been dominated by it. Nor were his comments on activism in any way dismissal of what work you or others like you may have done. You might be interested to know that the Little Man has participated in activism himself and suffered considerable discrimination and harassment because of it.
Allow me to say you know very little about Jaser. Those of us who do know Jaser know exactly what he meant in his post.
MtD
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my dear little mouse,
i wasn't quite sure how to take your post and since i'm not that computer savy i will have to try to comment on it from memory.
first of all, since you are new to this world of hiv, having been infected only a few years ago (age 14), i will let slide the "warm & snuggy" comments about my post, as well as your assumptions about who i am with my hiv, and what my life might be like living with it. because you are in your late teens, i will forgive you for not understanding what i've seen, or what i've been through in the last 22 years, nor my wife who has been infected for as long as you have been alive.
what i would like to tell you though, is that if it wasn't for those here today who have chose to pick up & carry the torch of activism, reluctantly let go by those brothers and sisters we've lost along the way, your life with hiv might be a living hell, or worse yet, a death sentence.
i'm just as "normal" as you are. the difference is, i'm not walking through life with blinders on, thinking that if i don't say anything about my hiv, or make a fuss about decreases in funding for our meds and services, know one will know who i really am and life will continue to be normal.
you know what. if i was your age and this were part of my life, as it is yours, knowing what i was doing back when i was 16 or 17, i wouldn't want this thing ruling my life either. i would want it as far out of my life as possible. that is your right of passage as a teenager. have your fun now while you can and do the things kids your age should be doing.
but don't think for one second that you know enough about me to be judgemental about my life and how i chose to live it. especially when it is people like me that may be the ones saving your ass from a living hell when you get to be our age. it is the LTS's on this forum that are paving the way for you to live a long and healthy life with your hiv, and are trying to make it as "normal" for you as it can possibly be.
we are fighting the fight in congress so that you will have access to care when you need it most. for you, that may be when i'm long gone from this earth. i just hope that when the day comes that you are viewing a panel of the names project quilt for my wife and i, you show a bit more respect than you did in your post. i believe we earned it.
i go to concerts, i like to play sports, i like to go to the beach, and i love to party.
but i also know that if i do not try to do something to control my life with hiv, those idiot politicians will strip me of ability to live that "normal" life you speak of. and if i can't feel free enough at this age of my life to talk to others about my illness, without fear of reprocussions, then shame on me for not trying.
you know what is the best thing about being the second mouse through the door?
HE ALWAYS GETS THE CHEESE!
kellyspoppi
How vain.You automatically assume that my entire post was about you? It wasn't. It actually wasn't the slightest bit about you at all.
If you're the sort of person that's supposed to be 'saving my ass' when I get older then I'm even more worried about my future than I was before. I would HOPE that my life would not be directed by people who were so caught up in themselves that they fail to see anyone else's point unless it was directly related to them. I'm sorry I couldn't appeal to your ego more.
If you actually cared to look any deeper into what I said then what might be construed to be about YOU, then maybe you would realize that I was trying to say that you don't have to be a hero to have people appreciate you and the impact you have on their lives. Some people can't go out and push for the rights that we deserve, some people won't - for various reasons, but if they're good people and have made an effort to make their lives and the lives of the people around them better despite their challenges, they're deserving of just as much respect and admiration as anyone who has ever gone out in public and protested anything.
As for the respect YOU deserve, you'll have to show me more respect before you get anything like that from me.
I don't respect anyone who talks down to me and tries to make me seem like some young, ignorant little twit. I don't care how much you think you've earned it.
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Kellyspoppi i'm surprised by your post. You blame him for being healthy and not thanking you everyday that he's not going to die tomorrow?
Of course you and many others battled to get us newly infected being able to get through this without the torments you had to go through, but how many times do we have to thank you? How can you blame a teenager for wanting to live his life as normal as possible?
Please stop saying that YOU are fighting and HE is not. Please stop rehashing the "we, LTS, have paved the way for you to live a normal life". We know that, but please understand that WE, newbies, will continue your battle. Shall we suffer as much as you did to continue it? Is suffering a rite of passage so that we can talk equal to equal?
I can't imagine Mouse just living his life with HIV like if it was just a cold. Of course he will battle, of course he will help build a defense against this disease, find a cure, whatever can be done, but give him the credit of wanting to do this while living, since he has the opportunity to do it that way.
Many LTS will be proud for making him be what he wants to be. Be proud, not jealous. I'm proud of the LTS, I'm proud of people like Mouse.
As for the original question, I haven't lived with this long enough to be able to answer yet.
Milker.
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I'd have to say my mate Grant in the UK.
He's been a great mate to me over the years and very influential in my life. He also just happens to be HIV +, and therefore fits your criteria, but his influence comes from the fact that he is a great guy, the fact that he is HIV+ is secondary.
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Although Mouse is quite an inspiration...but I would have to say the man that I have fallen in love with. He is the most +ve person I have come in contact with...and I hope that I can share this with him!! He shows me everyday what means to be be alive and what it means to love!
I say thank you mister for that blessing everyday!
I love you!
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"This might come across as sounding cold or something, but the snuggily, warm, supportive thing isn't what makes me admire someone for living with this - it's the people that have it, but don't let it define them. Or the people that are able to look at all the crap they have to go through and all the crap they have to watch the people they love go through and still manage to be there for other people and let other people be there for them. I don't think it's a matter of who is the most open about it or who does the most activism (even though it helps, I don't think that's what makes someone influential)."
MTD,
my initial post praises my wife for all her support so that i can do my activist thing, so am i wrong in interpreting his "snuggly, warm, supportive" comment
as an act not worthy of being influential? or his "i don't think it's a matter of who is the most open about it or who does the most activism" comment as an act not worthy of being influential? i believe his comment ends with "i don't think that's what makes someone influential."
i'm sorry if you don't agree with my interpretation matty, but i think the quote speaks for itself.
in a previous post of mouse, he claimed he was infected at age 14, so in my interpretation, that is not a long time living with hiv. hiv may have been in his world all his life, but he wasn't living with it all those years.
if he has been involved in activism, as you claim he has, then i commend him for it. he said he hasn't been around allot of people with hiv except for on this site, so i misinterpreted that to mean he hadn't worked with other poz's in activism.
my mistake.
the point is, and i quote, he admires "or the people that are able to look at all the crap they have to go through and all the crap they have to watch the people they love go through and still manage to be there for other people and let other people be there for them". a daaaaa, where does he think the major portion of activists come from? what was their source of motiviation?
we are folks who lost partners, or family members, lovers, etc, etc. we were left with an option with our hiv. cry or try to do something about it. not only for yourself, but for the benefit of others who can't speak for themselves. if he's an activist, he should understand that.
but because i choose to advocate, that does not define who i am. and because i choose to be open about my status, it is not because i'm looking to be the best hiv positive person i can be. it is to try to put an end to stigma because i am fed up with positives still living in fear with this disease! 25 years of this crap is enough and i want to try to make a difference.
sorry we don't see eye to eye on this MTD.
and mouse, keep up the activism. that deserves respect!
KP
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"This might come across as sounding cold or something, but the snuggily, warm, supportive thing isn't what makes me admire someone for living with this - it's the people that have it, but don't let it define them. Or the people that are able to look at all the crap they have to go through and all the crap they have to watch the people they love go through and still manage to be there for other people and let other people be there for them. I don't think it's a matter of who is the most open about it or who does the most activism (even though it helps, I don't think that's what makes someone influential)."
MTD,
my initial post praises my wife for all her support so that i can do my activist thing, so am i wrong in interpreting his "snuggly, warm, supportive" comment
as an act not worthy of being influential? or his "i don't think it's a matter of who is the most open about it or who does the most activism" comment as an act not worthy of being influential? i believe his comment ends with "i don't think that's what makes someone influential."
i'm sorry if you don't agree with my interpretation matty, but i think the quote speaks for itself.
in a previous post of mouse, he claimed he was infected at age 14, so in my interpretation, that is not a long time living with hiv. hiv may have been in his world all his life, but he wasn't living with it all those years.
if he has been involved in activism, as you claim he has, then i commend him for it. he said he hasn't been around allot of people with hiv except for on this site, so i misinterpreted that to mean he hadn't worked with other poz's in activism.
my mistake.
the point is, and i quote, he admires "or the people that are able to look at all the crap they have to go through and all the crap they have to watch the people they love go through and still manage to be there for other people and let other people be there for them". a daaaaa, where does he think the major portion of activists come from? what was their source of motiviation?
we are folks who lost partners, or family members, lovers, etc, etc. we were left with an option with our hiv. cry or try to do something about it. not only for yourself, but for the benefit of others who can't speak for themselves. if he's an activist, he should understand that.
but because i choose to advocate, that does not define who i am. and because i choose to be open about my status, it is not because i'm looking to be the best hiv positive person i can be. it is to try to put an end to stigma because i am fed up with positives still living in fear with this disease! 25 years of this crap is enough and i want to try to make a difference.
sorry we don't see eye to eye on this MTD.
and mouse, keep up the activism. that deserves respect!
KP
KP, it's not a matter of whether Matty agrees or not with your interpretation of my post. The fact of the matter is I'm telling you your interpretation of it was wrong. As the one who POSTED it, I would hope that's enough clairification for you.
I'm sorry I wasn't born 20 years ago so that I could have had this disease longer. I don't think I have to live up to any of your standards for how long a person has had to have had this disease in order to have their opinion worth anything. I think that's complete and utter crap. I wasn't putting down your method of dealing with this, but it seems all you have to do is put down my point of view of what an inspirational person is like. My point is I never EXCLUDED activists or people like that from that group in my mind, that would make absolutely no sense, instead I said, yes, those people do good, but that is not neccesarily the RULE for what an inspirational person is or has to be. I was trying to remind people that there are those that are working outside of the protests and meetings and that they deserve as much recognition as anyone else.
But of course, you had to misinterpret my post in order to make a condescending post of your own. Way to drag the thread to hell.
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Simple for me it was Ryan White. I went to visit him at Riley Children's hospital here in Indianapolis. Saw Elton coming in as I was leaving. Great kid. Fought a very hard and biggot-ed battle.
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Before this thread goes completely off the rails please allow me to stick in my 2-penneth.
After Mouse/Jaser posted last night I started trying to compose a post of my own but tiredness won out. What I was going to post before collapsing in bed (and now wish I had) was something on the lines of this:
Jaser, your posts on here never cease to astound me. For a 16 year old youngster you have an amazing knack of encapsulating what many of us think in much fewer and terrifically eloquent words. And just as you never cease to astound me, I suspect I will never cease to admire you and the way you have coped/are coping with your diagnosis and your views to many life issues in general.
Kellyspoppi, I implore you to think again about your interpretation of Jaser's post. After reading the posts prior to Jaser's post and then reading his post, I in no way connected it with anyone else's post. I saw his post as being the honest thoughts of a teenage boy - no more no less - and I felt nothing but admiration for his succinct and articulate response. I think I know Jaser well enough to know that he's all about tackling things head-on and would very rarely (if ever) take a backhand swipe at someone, especially in a thread like this one. I really really believe you have got the wrong end of the stick on this score and ask you to re-read the boy's words again, including his responses to your responses.
Now back to the thread topic:
I have many amazingly influential HIV+ people in my life, all of whom know how much I love and admire them.
If I have to mention one in particular though, it would be Jonathan (jkinatl2). For me, he represents one of the harsh realities of HIV/AIDS but in spite of all the daily hellish crap he has to plough through, he still manages to produce the most spell-binding and thought-provoking blogs, maintains the most engaging and entertaining chats, has the wickedest sense of humour, is the most loving daddy to his ferrets and mixes the best martinis! Oh and of course he's a cutie cutie pie! ;)
And JK has my vote for MMM here on the forums: Most Missed Member. :-*
Edited to add: I also wish to mention the website's lovely Christine who I find both influential and inspirational. I always admire the way that no matter how crappy she may be feeling or what a rough time she's been having, she never has a bad word to say about anyone and doesn't hesitate to post kind wishes and thoughts in other peoples' threads. Another member who never ceases to amaze me.
Jonathan and Christine are just 2 of the many unsung heroes I'm fortunate enough to have in my life.
Melia
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That would be my partner. The encouragement to push myself on those down days, I get from or because of him. The ecouragement he needs on his down-n-out days, I give to him. For me it's in the everyday living of making choices. Jeff's influence is daily--and the most effective ally in this phase of my life.
xxx,
Mike
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There's not one poz person whom I would deem most influential in my life. However, sum total, this site represents my most influential daily source of information, comedy, truth and even fiction, all of which is related to and mostly from HIV positive people. And, I have always felt that if or when the day comes that I need support, whether insight or medical info, I would post here and get relevant, thoughtful replies. So, it's all of you.
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I can’t say that I am strongly influenced by anyone in life really, HIV+ or otherwise. However, I am impressed most by people who meet adversity with grace and humility instead of moaning or maintaining a defeatist attitude. I have had friends do great harm to themselves that way, including one (John) who drank himself to death instead of waking up and meeting the challenges of his life with dignity.
And then there was an ex of mine (Steve) whose family was so belittling of him even being Gay that they buried the fact that he died of AIDS-Related Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. So deep was their denial that his partner at the time sat alone at the back of his funeral instead of up front with the family. I asked him to join me and a friend of mine but he declined. I thought that was sadder than Steve’s death actually. Or perhaps pathetic is a better word.
I admire anyone who honestly meets whatever challenges they have, and who shows strength of character while doing so.
Daniel
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My partner is the most influential HIV+ person in my life. Other than people on AIDSmeds I don't know any HIV+ people, not as friends anyway.
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Hmmm..... the two trite answers would be:
1. the Scandanavian sex stallion who gave me HIV.... but he was one-time lay never to be seen again
2. my current partner of five years who was diagnosed long before me, but I have been a greater influence on his self-care
The five solid answers are difficult to rank, as they were all men I met in the mid to mid 1980s to late 1990s during my young and blissfully ignornat phase. Each imparted invaluable lessons about inner strength, resilience, hope, and self-advocacy. Of them, I place as the Top Two David Hornemann, who taught me a broader understanding of spirituality, and ACT-UP notable Steve Michael who was a great model for advocacy and "constructive shit stirring." Steve died the day my Western Blot came back, and I cried for three days over not being able to attend his politcal funeral in front of The White House due to a serious bout with hep A http://www.actupny.org/reports/SteveMichael.html (http://www.actupny.org/reports/SteveMichael.html)
"Honorable mentions" go to James Ratzell, Bob Emmett, and Larry Uhrig.
Peace,
David
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I would have to say it would be William, my husband. He has been so supportive to me over the past two years since both of us tested positive. He has had alot more life changing events in his life than I, and hiv, as he puts it "is just another". I aspire to find that peace that he has within him and try to live as he does..
Other than that, I look to people here at AM for friendship and support, as I have no other pos friends to interact with...
Eric
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Most of my friends have died from aids cancer and other dieases..Its really sad..Only have a few friends left
from the bronx where i grew up..
I guess the answer to your question would be Tim Horn..and these forums..
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Q: Who's the most Influential HIV POSITIVE Person in Your Life?
A: My doctor! Luv him to pieces
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:-[ mouse :-[,
when i posted my response to matty, i had not yet seen your response, only his. and now that i have had time to review yours & several others who have posted here, i can clearly see that i have misinterpreted your original post. my deepest apologies go out to you, mouse, for thinking you were dissing my post and choices (most influential).
i hope that you will accept my regrets for over-reacting at an obvious misinterpretation. and you have obviously gained much respect from those who attend these forums. therefore, my apologies to them as well, for jumping to the wrong conclusion.
i would like to comment, however, on something milker asked "but how many times do we have to thank you?"
milker, i would ask that you review the posts i have made in these forums, especially those that pertain to advocasy issues, or the views i have submitted on "poz views" for further validation of my position here.
i understand that it takes time for newbbies to go through the process that is necessary in order to become comfortable enough with your status, and/or mad enough to want to get involved. hell, it took me 8 years.
if we chose to become advocates it is because we came to a point in our lives where we felt this was something we had to do, for whatever the reason(s). each persons reason is his/her own.
i got mad at the lack of media coverage in my city for a world aids day event, making it seem like aids wasn't in our community. i decided right then and there to do something about it. i was healthy at the time but still expected, sooner or later, that the hammer was going to drop. therefore, i wanted to make sure meds and services were still going to be there when i needed them the most.
that was 1994.
i do not ask for, or want thanks , for this is the life path i chose for myself. however, it has been my experience, over the past several years now, that the sense of urgency in the hiv community is lacking, and that is what concerns me most.
the numbers of those out there advocating , in washington especially, is dwindling and it is because of that we saw the ryan white care act reauthorized in 2006 in a very damaging way to all of us.
so my intent in these forums is to try to make poz's aware that we are losing services slowly but surely because those in congress view hiv/aids as a manageable disease. ie. under the new act, transportation to support groups will no longer be made available to plwa's in our area because it is no longer a fundable ryan white covered expense under the new formulary.
now to plwa's in large epicenter cities where providers are within walking distance, that may not be an issue. but for those who live in rural areas where support groups are their only means of connection to the pwa community, this is a huge loss.
so yes, i am getting frustrated that those in gov't don't seem to care, and tired because there is little to no new blood filling the shoes of those we lost.
i hope this clarifies my concerns and answers your question concerning "thanks".
i don't want thanks. i want bodies & concerned angry voices.
KP
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I know KP, I've read your posts before that's why I was surprised by your reply to Mouse. I don't really want to hijack that thread so I won't write a long response, but I think we're on the same page, as long as the "but look at all we did for you" card doesn't get used each time someone hiv+ says that he is feeling good and wants to enjoy life as normal as possible! I think everyone here respects the work/contributions made by the long term survivors and those who suffered and died in this battle.
Milker.
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KP, as long as you don't jump to conclusions with me and my posts (or with anyone else here for that matter) or speak to me in a condescending tone, then we'll be cool. There is nothing I hate more than being spoken to like I'm some ignorant child (ask anyone here who knows me, that's why I choose not to share everything (aka a lot) that goes on in my life, as one of the youngest [the youngest maybe?] member of these forums, a lot of people assume that I'm not capable of handling myself or think that my personal wellbeing requires everyone to step in and try to make decisions for me - I can't STAND that. I appreciate the sentiment behind it most of the time, though. Instead I get advice/speak about certain topics to specific people I know I can trust to not do that.)
I guess what I'm getting at is that I expect to be treated as though I'm on an equal level with any other member of these forums, and being spoken down to is something that I seriously will not tolerate in any form.
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;D
hey mouse, as my son would say to me....
WORD!
SORRY WE STARTED OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. I'LL TRY TO BRIDGE THAT HUGE GENERATION GAP WITH YOU IN THE FUTURE.
KP
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Hey Mouse..
Guess your not a mouse after all..you said what was on your mind, and people
should treat you with the same respect as others..no matter what your age is.
Bravo ............ ;)
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I'm adding to those who state their partners.
In my case, I am both a little nervous and in awe of just how out my boyfriend is with his HIV status. His work knows, his family know, by some of his t-shirts that he wears announcing it - well, the whole world knows!
He is without shame (as it should be) and without fear....well, maybe he isn't without fear - but he controls the fear vs. it controlling him. He sees the virus for all the reality of it: the sickness, the death, the nonsugar coated future of what the virus and the meds do to our bodies, but he has gone through enough of that reality to known that those truths are enough to deal with and refuses to allow anyone to add things such things as discrimination, hate, and ignorance to the pot.
As a direct result of knowing him and loving him and he loving me, he is teaching me to overcome a fear of possible stigma from others by combating the self imposed stigma and the world of "what ifs" that I have placed on myself.
For that there is no question that he is my answer to your question.
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Mine would be Falkore who is one my best friends. He is the one that helped make my transition easier since he's been positive about a year longer than I have. It is he who helped me cope and realize that being HIV+ wasn't the end of the world. He gave me a shoulder to cry on, and a warm pair of arms to fall into when I needed it.
For being an Atheist, he has been one of the greatest blessings in my life. I couldn't ask for a better friend (and adopted brother). :D The irony is that I would definitely call him a God-send and even a little bit of an angel in disguise. ;)
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The most influential person in my life has passed away over 10 years ago. Ed was a flight attendent for American Airlines, diagnosed HIV+ in 1981. There was little research available in HIV and even less money being spent. Ed had originally trained to care for zoo animals and had worked as an Elephant Trainer in Denver before moving to L.A. and becoming a flight attendant. Because of this training, he was able to read and understand available research and became most active in his personal health.
ASO's were few and far between in the early days and the airline showed concern over the lack of services for their employees and their families. Ed and another flight attendent began an organization called AIDS Resource Network, the goal was to start a group in every base. Continental Airlines was expected to utilize this organization as well. The other founding member was the lover of the Creative Director of a world-wide advertising agency. Having owned and operated a small town advertising agency, working with people at this level was astounding to me.
Ed died before the project was completed. In my eyes, he was a pioneer in AIDS Activism and I am honored to have known and have worked with him. Have the best day
Michael
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My friend James who I met in the waiting room at a doctor's appointment. It was early on in my diagnosis and he sat next to me and struck up a conversation. He was diagnosed 4 years earlier than me and gave me a first-hand account of living with HIV. He is such an optimistic person Iwho instilled a sense of empowerment in me at a time when I was working through some issues. I met the majority of my HIV poz friends through him (along with my bf) and he's the one in our group who everyone goes to for a reality check when they're feeling down. If there are Angels, he is mine.
Mike ;)
(who hopes his bf isn't going to be mad that I didn't say him, but knows he will understand)
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I don't think I could pick the single most influential HIV+ person in my life. My husband is certainly one of them. The deals with the same crap as I do ('cept the PCP and a few minor things) like they are nothing. It doesn't mean he's ignoring them, but that he's dealing and handling them. I, on the other hand, rely on him a lot for support, compassion, and the 'warm snuggly' thing when I need it.
Besides him, there is a group of LTS' here on the forums that are helpful, supportive, and have so much insight that they willingly share with others. Alan, Mark, Christine, Dad1216, kellyspoppi, Brent, Lis, and so many more that I can't think of right now are all amazing to me. The fact that they've lived with and through the BS of HIV / AIDS and are still as 'human' as they are says a lot about them. The fact that they are so willing to help others makes them extremely influential to me (and I imagine many others).
David
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The guy who invented the protease inhibitors, I guess without them I wouldn't be typing this reply
Bob
edit
ooops he's not +
but I'm still sticking with him/them
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I would have to say it would be all of you here that provide me support and,I feel, Love. I have only met 1 other positive person for lunch and she was an absolute pleasure to meet. But again , I meet her through the forums so it's all of you. There are several here that specifically inspire, gross out or make laugh but I will not name names. I am grateful for you all. Cristy
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In my previous post, I neglected to mention a lot of the fairly newly infected people here. I've gotten a lot of great support and advice from them too. In short, I can't really say that I have one single most influential person. It's more like a lot of people; almost all are members of these forums.
David
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The people on this forum, if I had to pick one it wd be Aztecan,
he's cool, he's wise, he's gentle and he inspires me to keep on going.
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The guy who invented the protease inhibitors, I guess without them I wouldn't be typing this reply
Bob
edit
ooops he's not +
but I'm still sticking with him/them
:D that's okay, gratitude is a beautiful thing
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Each on you have posted such meaningful, thoughtful, inspirational, deep, caring, emotional, spiritual, influential, moving remarks about the most influential HIV POSITIVE person in your life. Where ever your Influential HIV positive person is they are also blessed to have such a special person such as you in their life. Each of you have shared such personal feelings and thoughts that I have to thank each of you for answering my question. I love to hear such positive reflections. And now for my most influential person in my life.
His name was John Dixon. We both came out together in the late 70's. We were best girlfiriends. Learning about gay life and culture. We shared our ups and downs. We were in-separable. We shared everything, but we never had sex together. Our friendship meant to much for each of us. When John was diagnosed, there were no meds, no ADAP, no ID doctors in our town. No one knew what AIDS was. We both had heard of the gay disease on the news but knew no one who had such. John lived in Orlando, Florida at the time but returned home to New Bern, NC to die. He was an only son. I stood by my best friend, the one who I was not afraid to tell I was gay, the one who I went to a gay bar with first, the one who went cruising when we didn't know where and how to cruise. The one whom I shared all my gay secrets with. My first gay friend. When John died, he was buried in his small family cemetary, That was 1981. In 1987 I did a panel for the AIDS quilt to remember my friend. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of John. I've come full circle now. I live in Florida and I have HIV. The difference is I have meds, doctors to take care of me and we all know what AIDS is. I miss my firiend and thank him for being a AIDS pioneer when AIDS was a death sentence. He faced AIDS as he faced life, with all the spirit and zest he could give.
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When i read your question...only one name popped into my head...and rather quickly too.
I actually met this man on another forum...but he is one of your own here too. This man has been a godsend to me. His openess and willingness to spend time talking to me has made a world of difference in my life...which in turn overflows into my son's life. I can ask him anything and everything...and believe me I do. Other than my son, he is the only person that I know who is HIV positive, and his knowledge is a great comfort to me. Instead of spending what could be hours, looking for answers, I just call him up on messenger and ask him. Whether we chat for 10 minutes...or an hour...just talking to him gives me a comfort that I can't describe. This man will never know how much I appreciate his friendship.
Thank you Rodney / a.k.a. Rapidrod
hugs,
Scarlett (kim)
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Kim, you're more than welcome.
Rodney