ED

[JohnM]

This is really strange for me. I've never had a problem getting and maintaining an erection before. I've been single for most of my adult life and masturbation was the main way to relieve myself. However...I've gotten a special man in my life and I have been with him 4 times. Once I start to penetrate...the erection subsides. He's very patient but I really want to satisfy him, you know? I'm a long-term survivor (diagnosed with AIDS in '98) and have maintained an undetectable viral load for 14 years. I've been on Sustiva and Combivir for God knows how long....LOL!

Someone please help, ok? I really don't want this potential relationship to end because I can't perform!

[Jeff G]

Have you tried a ED drug ? . Worry about erection issues can lead to erection issues sometime too , so I would talk to my doctor and see what he/she has to say about what the problem may be and make a treatment plan if its needed .

And Welcome to the Forum !

[Ann]

Hi John, welcome to the forums.

ED can often be linked to emotional issues such as nervousness - and not necessarily your own. If you're picking up on your new partner's nervousness, even on a subliminal level, that can affect your performance. You don't mention his hiv status, but if he's negative, could this be a root issue?

Getting around ED issues can sometimes involve doing other sexual things together and only gradually building up to full-on intercourse. There are other ways to satisfy you both, such as using dildos. Sometimes all it takes is a gradual building up of mutual trust.

Sometimes pelvic floor exercises (called Kegel exercises) can work too. You can do them anywhere and nobody will ever know what you're doing. You may benefit from watching this short video: http://www.webmd.com/sex/video/ed-exercises-better-sex

And of course as Jeff points out, there are also ED drugs available. Talk to your doctor, not only about the available drugs, but also to get checked out for any possible underlying causes.

Good luck!

[JohnM]

Thanks Jeff & Ann! My friend is poz also (not as long as I have been, though). I failed to mention that I had been on citalopram (for fatigue issues) for over a year and, when I talked to my doc about the issue, we decided to change to Wellbutrin. I've been on the new med for a little over a month. I asked him about an ED med and he was okay with the idea but said he'd found that a lot of men became psychologically dependent on the ED drug (thinking it was the only way they were going to get an erection). It certainly is a thought to consider. I'll be looking at the video, Ann.

Thanks, to you both, for your continued help and support! I think I've found an  awesome way to get help from others! Thank You!

[Ann]

Thanks, to you both, for your continued help and support! I think I've found an  awesome way to get help from others! Thank You!

You're more than welcome, John. That's why we're here.

You've been living with hiv for quite some time now, so I'm sure you will be able to help others here too. Please do join in any time you have something to contribute. Newly diagnosed people love to hear from people who have been living with this virus for years, for example. It gives them hope.