Life An Times Of the Numb One!!!

[Dwayn20]

As many of you read a few days ago I found out about my younger brother dying of this dreadful disease.For three days I was Numb Body an Soul don,t get me wrong I have lost a lot of friends also but when it hits this close to home an not being there when he died is the hardest thing I honestly had to face in my life.I wait patiently by the phone waiting for it to ring but it,s not happening.Oh well after three days I am going back to what I normally do.But now I have to find a new way of cooking because one of the test is to high an the other is to low.And me being Cajun that all I know how to cook. An the sad part is I went to Job Corp,s when I was sixteen an seventeen to learn how to cook an bake then had to relearn how to cook for just for two.The courses I took were two years Long an completed them in ten months.So now must do every thing over again.Because I tend to cook to many fatty foods.I was so occupied with getting my V-Load an T-Cells where they should be I wasn,t paying much attention to much else.I am feeling a whole lot better for now.But some days it feels like you are numb an running on auto pilot.I,m I the only one that feels this way?Sometimes I am positive I,ts the Meds that do this.In twenty years I have become resistant to a lot of the meds so they have had to switch them often.Just when you get your body use to one they say well we have to change this one or that one.I am not trying to scare any of the Newbies but these are only the fact,s at least in my case.Have to stop now my hands are starting to shake to much to type.Dwayne 20 (Scooter) P.S. Song that gets me though the ruff times is The Promise by WHEN IN ROME!!! Check it out? Dwayne 20(Scooter)

[aztecan]

Hey Scooter,

I think we all operate on auto pilot sometimes. In fact, there are times I don't think we could continue all the time without it.

I love Cajun food. But right now, I have to eat like an herbivore.

Hang in there.

HUGS,

Mark

[knittygritty]

 I'm sorry about your brother.
I think auto pilot becomes a way of life. Some times you have to let auto pilot take over or you'd just shut down.

  I love eating. Cajun food sounds sooo good right now. Sometimes I get a little bummed cuz I'm a little chubby - just short for my weight I mean. But I think back to when I was real sick and weighed 87 pounds I love the 145 pounds I weigh now and grab another serving of whatever is in front of me.

[AndyArrow]

Autopilot is a great mental protector that unfortunately sometimes we just really need.

I really sympathize about learning how to cook & eat all over again.  With my esophageal problems I dropped down to 79lbs and then when I was able to start eating normally the doctors encouraged me to eat anything and everything ... and I did!  Now, I'm at 6'3 and 190lbs -- which doesn't sound so bad but I carry it all in my gut (the worst place) so now along with exercise I have to change my diet.  Having said that if you want to send some deep fried catfish & hush puppies my way I wouldn't say no.   

Great Song ... I still mainly listen to UK groups!

Hugs,
AA