skinny neck

[antibody]

maybe i'm just self conscience but when i look at myself i see an emaciated bag of bones. don't know if this worked properly i attached a pic. let's see if it shows up

[attachment deleted by admin]

[antibody]

okay it worked! so anyways this pic was taken a few months after diagnosis and 3 years before starting atripla. i hope i didn't wait too long before going on treatment but as you can see i'm terrified by losing anymore fat. my boyfriend say's i look great but still feel so conscience about my disease.

[SirPrize]

Knock it Off !  When viewing your photograph, I see a trim, fit, and lean fellow.  Your  boyfriend is right, you look fine.  Why do you not believe him?  We can ALL (and most of us do) pick parts of our bodies we would like to change.

Seeing that your VL is "undetectable" and your CD4 count is in the 700's, count your blessings.  You are still able to turn heads, my friend.

[GSOgymrat]

You look good to me. I think we are often our worst critics.

[antibody]

thank you for your kind words.    i do believe we are our own worst critics. i do try to think positive but can't help the feeling i get when people stare at me on the street or in public somewhere. it makes me feel like everyone knows. like it's all over my face.

[SoSadTooBad]

Anti - I see a sexy guy in the picture you posted.  Your body is lean and worked out, and your face is cute.

Happy Holidays !

[bobino]

Hi Anti,

First of all, I think you look not only fine, I think you look really good in the picture you posted.  We should all be in that kind of shape.

Nevetheless, I don't know what you looked like *before.*  You may be reacting to the *changes* in your appearance.  In other words, unlike those of us here who have only seen this one picture of you, you can see the *difference* between how you look now and how you looked before.  If there have been significant changes, those may be disturbing to you.  So your reaction may be completely understandable.  I'm in a somewhat similar situation -- I don't think that I look sick (and no one seems to think I do), but I know I don't look the way I did before HIV started causing all these fat changes.  This makes me feel self-conscious, no matter what anyone else says.

All I can say is that I doubt seriously that anyone looking at you would think that there's anything going on.  You look great and it seems that your health is good.  Be grateful for that, and just keep an eye on the fat changes.  If they get worse, talk to your doc about finding a lipid-friendly combo.

Good luck,

John

[pozatlguy]

Antibody and bobino I can relate to what both of you wrote.  I look at pics of me 15 , 10 and 5 years ago and I see a huge difference in my appearance.  Not just signs of ageing but looking like a totally different person. And knowing that I've changed so much has been one of my biggest worries.  I ask a couple of my close friends about this and they say I look fine and that I worry to much.  I often think they are just responding that way because in their mind it is a way to protect me and to lesson my concern and worry.  They think they are doing me a favor by protecting me.  I have felt resentful of them on this issue because I want them to be just honest with me.  I want to know that I'm not starting to go insane here.  I've gotten to the point where I don't believe them anymore so I don't ask them about it anymore.  I'll be the first to admit that this has caused me a lot of stress the last few years.  I don't go out much anymore in fear of running into someone from my past who would notice the change.  I also have developed mild depression because of this one issue. 

While the opposite of you I see my face and neck as getting fatter or generally swollen and out of proportion to the rest of me.  While I have seen sever cases in some people I'm not at that point, but that is probably my greatest fear of it getting worse and not stopping.  People I meet for the first time don't seem to notice or know that I have HIV but when I run into someone who hasn't seen me in years and I see their reaction in their eyes and I know what they are thinking.  I won't even look people straight in the eye anymore for fear of them recognizing somehing is wrong with me. 

I realize this is something that I probably need to accept as part of this illness and possibly see therapy to deal with it.  I just keep hoping that it isn't getting worse.  I'm not on any meds known to cause this so I think is from some the ones I have been on in the past or maybe it is the HIV that is causing it as I've become a long term survivor.   

I have gotten to the point where I take pictures of my self now about once a month just so that I can monitor it.   

I wish you and others to be well and that we all can find some peace within ourselves when we encounter challenges that come at us like these.  I don't want to end this posting on a negative note.  I'm really blessed to be alive after over 17 years and having never had anything worse then a kidney stone.  So putting this in perspective I know I should be thankful to God for all that he has done for me but I just wish it wasn't a constant reminder everytime I look in a mirror.

-F

[antibody]

thanks again everybody for helping put it perspective. yea i totally feel i look different and fear running into people from my past. i feel so much better that i have talked about it. thanks it really helps to know others understand just how i feel. i am feeling a little better about my weight  i have managed to put on 4 pounds and keep it on for about 2 months now. i know it's  not alot but when your my size every ounce counts.

[megasept]

Hi. While I agree you look pretty good (lean and handsome) if you really want a thicker neck...exercise your delts and lats, like with a "lat pulldown" behind the neck. Holding the contraction (not moving for two counts) will allow your neck muscles to aid as "secondary muscles to the resistance. It will work. You can gain an inch or so, and it will be 100% muscle, not fat.

If you don't want to go to a gym, go to your bathroom mirror. Face foward. Put your two hands together (like in prayer). While pushing them together hard tighten your neck as well. Do this while breathing out and hold the contraction for up to seven seconds, while still breathing out. Release the contraction(s) and breathe in. Repeat as many times as you can stand it, but not more than 15 reps max.

2 minutes a day; isometrics works! Isometrics is "cardio" and ought to be incorporated into every rep in resistance training. You don't hear about isometrics because there's no $ to be made from it!

Give it a try and PM me if you have any questions.    -megasept

[Ihavehope]

Great bod and the neck looks pretty normal to me. Trust me Anti, I got a small gut that I been trying for years to get rid of but have come to the conclusion that I will have to live with it because I am a lazy guy.