POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: tommy420 on March 18, 2007, 11:58:42 pm

Title: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 18, 2007, 11:58:42 pm
I went to a strip club in Tijuana 2 weeks ago. While I was getting a lap dance from a fully nude stripper, she rubbed her vagina with her fingers, and used the same fingers to rub my penis. Specifically she rubbed her fingers on the opening of my penis and she gave me a hand job. She also did this with her saliva. I just read that HIV has been increasing at alarming rates in Tijuana. Should I be worried about any possible exposure to HIV? What about other possible STDs?

This is the stupidest thing I've done, and I have a gf. I don't want to give her anthing. Is it warranted for me to test for HIV? Thanks
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Bucko on March 19, 2007, 12:55:35 am
Tommy-

Mastrubation is a non-risk activity for HIV, no matter where her hand/fingers had been previously. And saliva is not infectious.

Use condoms and water-safe lube for vaginal and/or anal intercourse and you'll be safe.

And I gotta say that if getting a lap dance is the dumbest thing you've ever done then you're a pretty smart guy. Read through the lessons section on this website and get even smarter.

Brent
(Who loves lapdances)
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Andy Velez on March 19, 2007, 08:20:27 am
Tommy, your question has been moved over to this section. It's inappropriate for you to be posting in any of the HIV+ sections. You are NOT HIV+ so stay out of them. And please keep anything you have to say in this one thread.

Masturbation such as you have described including your details is not in any way a risk for HIV transmission. What IS a risk in this 26th year of the epidemic is for you to know so little about the basics of transmission. That's a luxury no one who's sexually active can afford. Read the lesson on Transmission on this site and you will get all the basics there. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

You have no cause for concern about HIV in relation to this incident nor any need for testing.
Title: To Mr. Velez - Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 19, 2007, 07:42:18 pm
Mr. Velez, I apologize for posting in the wrong forum. I guess when you have concerns on your mind, you don't really think straight. I understand that mutual masturbation doesn't pose a risk for HIV, however i'm not sure if you're overlooking my statement. Although she used her hand on me, she used the same fingers to rub her vagina, immediately after which she proceeded to give me a hand job and I distinctly remember her rubbing her fingers (the same ones she used to rub her vagina) on my urethra. Can't the HIV virus penetrate my urethra putting me at risk? I mean isn't that how HIV is spread through heterosexual sex? To make matters worst, I read a couple of articles dated early 2006 indicating that HIV rates have been increasing at alarming rates in Tijuana, and this woman is pretty much considered a sex worker if she's giving handjobs in a strip-club. Does your assessment change? Thank you soo much..
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Andy Velez on March 19, 2007, 09:18:32 pm
Tommy, do yourself a favor and take a nice deep and slow breath right now. I mean it. No kidding. And let it out slowly. And then do it again. And remember to do that everytime your mind gets you tensing up about this stuff, which it might do for a while, even though you absolutely were not at risk during this incident.

If (and this is a big if), IF the woman you were with was actually HIV positive, her fluids which would be of concern are in the cervical area, way further up from where either her fingers or yours would reach. Additionally, HIV is a fragile virus and doesn't survive well in the air. So the idea you have mistakenly got that somehow fluids would then pass on HIV to you through your urethra by hand has absolutely no basis in HIV science.

Believe me if there was any doubt on our part  we would say so. We are not careless about what we talk about in terms of risk.

If you haven't already read the lesson on transmission or even if you have, read it again. You get all the basics there. You were not at risk for HIV in this situation, no way, no how.

Cheers,
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 19, 2007, 09:47:04 pm
Hi Andy, I really appreciate you taking the time and replying. I feel a bit better after talking to you. I guess the reason I'm stressing is b/c I called a couple of hotlines and they all told me that I have the possibility since I was exposed. It's the combination of the vaginal secretion + rubbing against my urethra + being in a dirty place such as a strip club in Tijuana, which was making me concerned. I've never had this experience before, as I am in a committed relationsihp. The thought of catching HIV is a bit less of a concern for me now...I will continue to do the breath exercises as you posted. Now I gotta focus on other STDs. Thanks again
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Andy Velez on March 20, 2007, 07:51:15 am
Good. I'm glad our exchanges have helped. I'd like to wring the necks of some of the people on hotlines who give out disinformation that is unnecessarily alarming.

I've thought that your being in a relationship might be somewhat fueling your fears about this incident.

I do expect you to come out of this ok, your fears notwithstanding.

Cheers,
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 20, 2007, 07:20:03 pm
Thanks again Andy, and I won't bother you with this thread any longer except for my last question. I am new here...are you and Anne certified specialists in this field? I'm just curious as to what your roles are. You guys run an amazing site and I've learned quite a bit reading through everything.

Also, do you reserve your commentary only to HIV, or do you discuss other STDs as well. Reason I ask is b/c I was wondering about other STDs I could have acquired through my contact, but you did not really have an opinion. The hotlines I called said I could have acquired herpes, syphilis, even gonn/chlam. However, since they also said that I was at risk for HIV, I trust your opinion more than theirs. If you don't comment on STDs and limit yourself only to HIV, then that's cool. I was just curious, thanks a million and have a great day.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: jkinatl2 on March 20, 2007, 09:02:20 pm
If you read the "About us" section at the top of this page, you will indeed garner the credentials of many of the participants in this forum. Mine are available upon request.

However, a simple aegis.com or ther scientifically quantified journal site will, if you research properly, give you all the information you need. YOU can be an HIV expert if you so desire.

Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 21, 2007, 12:03:48 am
Btw, one thing I found very interesting in this threat was the differentiation between cervical vaginal secretions and how they have higher levels of HIV virus than the secretions on top of the vagina. In my case, the stripper most likely had the outer vaginal secretions on her fingers, as I did not see her fingering herself. However, if she had an STD, say syphilis or herpes on the outside of her vagina and had those secretions on her fingers, wouldn't those secretions be the equivalent of cervical secretions in terms of the level of HIV they have. After all i've read that STDs make the transmission of HIV much easier. I appreciate the advice.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Bucko on March 21, 2007, 12:32:43 am
Tommy, you have it somewaht twisted.

If someone is already infected with an STD, then their chances of contracting HIV are increased. It is not that their virus is somehow more virulent when teaming up with some other nasty.

You were never at risk, so no transmission is possible.

Brent
(Who reads all the angles)
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Andy Velez on March 21, 2007, 09:05:05 am
Tommy, I sent you a PM about this, but I want to make sure that you understand you are not supposed to be posting in any of the HIV+ sections. You've done it twice now. This is your last warning. If you do it again you're risking being banned.

Thanks for your cooperation. 
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 21, 2007, 10:48:12 pm
FIrst and foremost, I apologize for posting in the "I justed tested poz" forum...i truly did not know it was exclusively for HIV+ people.

I'm posting again because I am completely freaking out right now. I don't know who to turn to and I feel very alone. I feel like an ***hole for posting my comments b/c I feel that others might have a more genuine concern about their exposures than me, but I truly feel that I was at risk. It's now been 4 days and I've come down with a fever, severe sore throat, body aches, and stuffy nose. I called an HIV hotline which does testing today, and they told me that I was describing ARS symtpoms, and although most people take 2-4 weeks to show symtpoms, a couple of days is possible. I am really freaking out and crying every hour. I don't know how to deal with my situation. I missed work today and have been in bed all day, pretending like i'm not feeling the things I'm feeling. My biggest concern is the fact that most of the statistics on HIV transmission are based on factors found within the United States, including the fact that most women are actually not infected with HIV. However, since my possible exposure occurred in Tijuana, Mexico, which is a very dirty place, I feel that I was at a miuch higher risk...especially since there are many articles involving studies done at San Diego University discussing the alarming rate at which HIV rates are rising in Tijuana. They stated that 1 out of 150 people has HIV in TJ. Considering I was in a dirty place (strip club), with a stripper, who basically shoudl be called a sex worker doing what she was doing, I feel that the fact that her vaginal secretions entered my urethra puts me at great risk. And now I'm sick with a viral infection that my body is trying to fight...i don't feel that it's a coincidence. Meanwhile, I have a beautiful girlfriend and it breaks my heard everytime I think about what happened. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm sorry for bothering everyone, if my posts are annoying you, plz let me know and i'll never post again.

What's the soonest, most reliable HIV test I can take?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: thunter34 on March 21, 2007, 11:41:47 pm
I'm going to take a guess on your scenario here:  You got jerked off by a stripper or something, right?  And now you're in an HIV panic because you're feeling guilty.  Am I close?

I can tell this without looking by all the sweeping judgements made in your post here about TJ being "dirty" and how this girl should basically "call herself a sex worker" because she's a dancer & stuff.  I don't think it's very fair to cast such an eye at people.  She can't be a dancer without follks like you there ready to pay for the dances, now can she?  For that and the handjobs or whatever:  takes two to tango. 

I'm not saying for you to never post again or anything.  I'm just saying that you're battling an infection of guilt, not HIV.

EDITED TO SAY:  Yup.  It was the ol' stripper handjob, alright.  You are not going to get HIV from a slippery handjob.  You're beating yourself up with guilt for messing around on your girlfriend. Take a regular test at 6 weeks like everyone else if you need the extra reassurance. 

Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Andy Velez on March 22, 2007, 09:56:06 am
Whatever the country you're in doesn't change the science of HIV. Nor do any of the subjective judgements you make about a woman in another country. The science is still the same. And no matter how your mind and any shame you have about the incident try to twist things around, you were not, absolutely not at risk for HIV transmission during this incident.

And I don't care who tells you otherwise. They're wrong. Got it? W R O N G.

Now you can continue to make yourself miserable about this or you can try a different approach. I suspect you won't rest easily about this until you get tested, which you should do at 13 weeks past the incident when you can collect the inevitable negative result. In the meantime stop this self indulgent wallowing and get productively busy in your life. You will be amazed at how quickly the time will pass.

And no matter what your head says you were NOT at risk for HIV. Period.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: ACinKC on March 22, 2007, 10:06:59 am
Thunter is spot on with his assessment on this one.

Guilt is what you are fighting the most.  Go ahead and get tested at 13 weeks for your own piece of mind. 

And get out of bed and go to work.  Wallowing in self pity is not "pretending" not to feel what your feeling.  Going to work and moving on with your life is what you should be doing!
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 24, 2007, 10:51:05 pm
Hi Andy, wouldn't you regard my situation to be in a slight higher risk than someone who receives unprotected oral sex. The reason I ask is because there were vaginal secretions involved, as opposed to saliva. I just don't see how you can saay my risk was 0 when there were vaginal secretions involved going into my urethra from a stripper in Tijuana. On top of that, 2-3 days later, I got a sore throat and fever, which continues to last till today (7 days after possible exposure). I feel that i'm one of those unlucky ones who will have become infected through a remote exposure.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: milker on March 24, 2007, 10:57:47 pm
Tommy,

I read your posts, and it looks like you've Googled too much and you're in awe reading all those stuff and not applying it to your situation. There is nothing in your description of your encounter that would remotely trigger an HIV infection.

If you're calling a hotline with flu symptoms and they say "OMG OMG YOU HAVE ARS" then I'd sue this hotline.

Milker.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on March 25, 2007, 08:03:38 am
tommy,

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus. When it finds itself outside the human body, it quickly becomes damaged and when it's damaged, it cannot infect. Successful hiv transmission occurs INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse.

You did not have a risk. 

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 26, 2007, 12:07:57 am
Ok..so i've decided that I want to test to alleviate my fears. It's now only been 1 week since my incident. What's the earliest, most reliable test I can take to ease my mind? I've heard both good things and bad things about the DNA  PCR. Besides teh cost, which I'm willing to pay, what is the down side of taking this test at 28 days?

I feel that no one has really addressed my main fear, which is the fact that her vaginal secretions entered my urethra. I understand that HIV is a fragile virus, however her rubbing her vagina and then rubbing my urethra was pretty immediate. I'm sure not all HIV viruses on her hand died if she was in fact infected. You guys don't have to comment any further on my incident however, b/c i've been reading my thread and I sound like an annoying douchebag.

I wanna get tested soon. The fact that I'm having flu-like symtpoms my first week is stressing me even more. I don't want to regret having taken a trip to TJ. Thanks
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on March 26, 2007, 07:20:56 am
What would you benefit from a non diagnostic test that isn't approved? What will you achieve from taking a test that early, when you still have to take it again at 13 weeks? There is nothing you can do now even if you were positive. You wouldn't be given meds and you wouldn't have follow up appointments for months. I see no benefit of early testing. Just use a condom consistently and correctly.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 26, 2007, 10:35:27 pm
I just tested positive for Gonorrhea today from my encounter at the Tijuana strip club. I know for a fact I got it from there b/c I was completely clean before last Saturday. I feel like my life is going to end. The doc said that I might be positive for chlamydia also, but he won't know until later. He gave me a 250mg Ceftriaxone injection and 1000mg of Azithromycin. I discussed my activity with him and he was "shocked" that I even tested positive for gonorrhea. I feel like I'm going to be the first person who has tested positive from HIV with such an encounter as mine. The doc told me that Tijuana is a dirty place and there are a lot of diseases floating around, including HIV. As I had posted in my earlier post, I do remember the Stripper leaving a stain on my pants since she was also grinding on me totally nude. When I told the doc, he said that was probably discharge as a result of the stripper having Gonorrhea, in addition to whatever else.

That discharge, in addition to other vaginal secretions, entered my urethra. I don't understand how I wouldn't have acquired HIV. I feel like my life has ended today. Especially since when I read the "I just tested poz" forum, there have been many posts where people have tested positive even though they were 100% safe. I obviously wasn't 100% safe, even though I didn't have actual penetration, and it's apparent b/c I got STDs. I'm more scared than I've ever been in my life. I don't know what to do anymore.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on March 26, 2007, 10:43:34 pm
Give up the drama, we've all, heard it a million times. You didn't have a risk and that's the end of the subject. Read the lessons on transmission found in the "Welcome" thread.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 26, 2007, 11:01:00 pm
RapidRod, why do you think i'm dramatizing? I've never tested poz for an STD before in my life. I don't understand how you don't think I was at risk when all the doctors who claimed that I wasn't at risk also claimed that I wasn't at risk for any other STDs. Why do you feel so positive about me not being at risk? Make me understand and then maybe i won't worry as much. I've read the "transmission" lesson on this site, and am very well aware of how HIV is spread. Assuming the stripper had HIV, i feel that my chances are high, especially since she had gonorrhea and possibly syphilis.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on March 26, 2007, 11:05:42 pm
Feelings are not facts. The facts are, you don't get HIV from being masterbated.

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 26, 2007, 11:13:52 pm
Rapiddog. I'm sorry for upsetting you. That's not my intention at all and I would appreciate it if you don't ban me. I'm not going to post anymore since I feel as if I'm starting to annoy people. I guess I should talk to a counselor b/c I'm obviously getting f#@ked up in my head.

But just for the record, my situation wasn't a simple masturbation. It involved her vaginal secretions/gonorrhea discharge entering my urethra.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on March 26, 2007, 11:16:44 pm
You're saying she opened up the head of your penis and forced fluid into the head? Is that what you are saying?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 26, 2007, 11:24:13 pm
RapidRod...believe it or not, you're not too far from the truth. I'm not being delusional despite my fear, so please don't question my facts. What did happen is on numerous occasions (more than three), she rubbed herself, and then IMMEDIATELY thereafter rubbed her wet fingers on my urethra. She didn't necessarilly per se physically open up my urethra, but she did rub her wet fingers on my urethra...rubbing your urethra does cause it to expand and take more in. Does this fact still not change your opinion about my risk?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on March 26, 2007, 11:29:33 pm
So she stuck her wet finger down the head of your penis? Guess what?, vaginal fluid is not what is infectious, it's cervical fluid that is infectious. Rubbing her vagina and then masterbating you is not a risk.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 26, 2007, 11:37:23 pm
I understand that...but what about the Gonorrhea discharge she was most likely experience and which was most likely on my pants the next day according to my doctor. Doesn't Gonorrhea discharge contain high volumes of HIV? Aren't people who have other STDs such as gonorrhea and chlamydia more infections when it comes to HIV if they do have HIV?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: risred1 on March 26, 2007, 11:46:29 pm
Get Tested for all STD's.

The only way to ease the apparent panic your in.

Go to your Doctor and Get Tested.

And go to thebody.com and do some research on your very question. You can even post your question to doctors.

Go to your Doctor and Get Tested!!!!
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on March 27, 2007, 04:32:01 am
risred1, please stay within your own thread. If you have a concern start your own thead.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Andy Velez on March 27, 2007, 08:09:31 am
Tommy, your head is playing with you. If a person has an STD, they're the one who is more vulnerable to HIV transmission because it means their immune system is weakened.

Someone having such an STD does not make them more likely to transmit HIV.

As you have already been told, you did not have a risk for HIV. No matter what your mind is telling you to the contrary, this is not an HIV situation. Period.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 28, 2007, 01:14:52 pm
I want to thank everybody for answering all my questions. I've decided to stop posting and spend the next miserable weeks waiting for my 6 week mark to go ahead and get tested. One major reason I'm going to stop posting is b/c at another site, everyone keeps trying to convince me that my current g/f gave me gonorrhea as opposed to my incident, and it's been really bumming me out on top of all my other worries. My g/f did not give me gonorrhea b/c she tested negative for all STDs at her routine checkup 2 months ago, we always practice safe sex, and i don't believe she's been unfaithful to me as I have been to her (which i'm having a really hard time dealing with also). Everybody is surprised that I got gonorrhea from my incident, but my doc said it's theoretically possible if the stripper had gonorrhea puss and when she rubbed herself and then rubbed my urethra, she could've transferred it to me. What's making me more concern is that the gonorrhea puss, since it's related to an STD, would have higher concentration of the HIV virus than the vaginal secretions, and if that puss obviously entered my urethra, HIV would have also.

I think posting is bumming me out more than not posting, so I'm going ot stop. I appreciate all the advice and will follow up with my test results in 5 1/2 weeks. I wish good health to everyone and stay safe out there!
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: ACinKC on March 28, 2007, 01:19:42 pm
You've got the science COMPLETELY wrong on this one.  You are backwards with it.  As Andy said the person with the STD is MORE LIKELY to be infected because of a weaker immune system.   Being that you don't know what the stripper rubbed you with you cant be sure that puss was even involved in this incident.

Unless you both get tested together regarding the gonorrhea you cant be 100% sure WHERE you got it from.  She may have strayed, we are all human and it has been known to happen.  At the time I was diagnosed with HIV my then wife would have sworn up and down it COULDNT have come from me.

You didnt have a risk for HIV and I hope you can move on.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 28, 2007, 09:57:27 pm
Just an FYI...I found this on a government website for San Francisco health departments on the link between gonorrhea and HIV. As you can see this is why I am a bit more concerned about having gotten HIV...especially since everyone is trying to convince me that I might have had gonorrhea before this incident, which means that my immunte system would have been more susceptible to HIV. Even if I didn't have gonorrhea before and got it from teh stripper, that means she would have been shedding more HIV viruses if she did have HIV.

"Why worry about gonorrhea?
If you are HIV+ and have genital inflammation due to gonorrhea, the inflamed tissues contain highly concentrated amounts of the virus. If the gonorrheal infection is in your penis, you can shed 8-10 times more HIV in your semen.

If you are HIV- but have gonorrhea, the disease-fighting cells of your immune system are especially susceptible to HIV if you have unprotected sex with an HIV-infected partner. Rectal gonorrhea increases the risk of contracting HIV by ten to twenty times."

Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: milker on March 28, 2007, 10:57:24 pm
There is nothing in your posts that would trigger an HIV infection. Other STDs like gonorrhea are easier to get, I think Ann had a post on this.

If someone is weakened by an infection, they are opening the door to other infections, that's what the website says. Now if people would stop generalizing doctor's statements and take a deep breath that would help. What you're not seeing in those reports is that the patients have a history that is absolutely not relevant to you.

Milker.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on March 29, 2007, 06:03:17 am
Just an FYI...I found this on a government website for San Francisco health departments on the link between gonorrhea and HIV.....

"Why worry about gonorrhea?
If you are HIV+ and have genital inflammation due to gonorrhea, the inflamed tissues contain highly concentrated amounts of the virus. If the gonorrheal infection is in your penis, you can shed 8-10 times more HIV in your semen.

If you are HIV- but have gonorrhea, the disease-fighting cells of your immune system are especially susceptible to HIV if you have unprotected sex with an HIV-infected partner. Rectal gonorrhea increases the risk of contracting HIV by ten to twenty times."

tommy,

You didn't have unprotected sex. You were touched by a stripper. Hiv is NOT transmitted in this way, even in the presence of gonorrhea. Hiv is NOT transmitted outside the human body.

You said your gf tested negative for STIs TWO MONTHS AGO. She didn't have gonorrhea two months ago... maybe it's time she tested again?

Yes, it is possible for you to have been infected with gonorrhea by the stripper, but it's more likely you got it from much more intimate contact than what happened at the strip club.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 29, 2007, 05:32:35 pm
Ann, Andy, or anyone...

I couldn’t help it…I needed to post again. Please give me an answer. Theoretically, if I did get gonorrhea (and who knows what else) from my contact with the stripper, and I got it according to what my doctor told me which was that gonorrhea produces puss so when the stripper rubbed herself, she might have had some puss on her finger, then wouldn’t my HIV risk theoretically be a probability rather than a non-existent as so many of you put it?

The 2nd probability is if I already had gonorrhea for whatever reason, then my chances of catching HIV would be high since I was already infected with an STD.

I believe the first scenario is more accurate, but either way I see a likelihood of HIV transmission if the stripper was in fact infected with HIV. I’m just trying to understand why I keep getting the answers that I do in this thread, which basically keep telling me that I had no risk. Believe me, I would like to believe that I had no risk and was 90% convinced until I was told that I had gonorrhea, which completely shocked and devastated me. I’m just trying to understand why you keep telling me to brush off my HIV risk, since it’s non-existent.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: ACinKC on March 29, 2007, 05:39:18 pm
It seems the only way you will be satisfied is by testing so go ahead and test at the appropriate time.  You came here and asked us what we thought, based on our experience we told you what we thought.  You disagree with that.  And thats fine, you can, but please try and refrain from coming back over and over again asking us to justify what we've told you when we already have.

You used the phrase she "might have had puss on her finger" and "if the stripper was in fact infected with HIV" so we arent exactly dealing in the realm of facts with you.  We tried to show you the facts on HIV transmission, have you read them? 

My advice, test at 13 weeks, collect your negative result and stay out of strip clubs for your own piece of mind.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on March 30, 2007, 01:03:24 am
I plan on getting the 13 week test. I also plan on getting the 4 week DNA PCR test. If, say, I already had gonorrhea before this exposure, how much riskier would my exposure make it for me to get HIV?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Bucko on March 30, 2007, 03:21:47 am
Tommy-

This is an internet support website, not a gambling table in Vegas. We don't do odds.

As I said right off the bat and has been repeated as nauseum, mastrubation does NOT spread HIV. No particulars can alter that fact.

You will test negative for HIV because you were never at risk, based on the scenario you provided. HIV is caused by unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or sharing IV drug works.

Brent
(Who hopes Tommy takes a break)
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on March 30, 2007, 04:54:09 am
tommy,

The DNA PCR test is NOT approved for diagnostic purposes because they have a high rate of false positives. You don't need this type of testing - just imagine what you'll put yourself through if you get a false positive.

You don't need hiv testing over this specific incident at all. If you do insist on testing, wait until six weeks and get a regular ELISA done. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. I'm fully expecting you to test negative.

If you go ahead with your plans for DNA PCR testing, please be aware that you do so at your own risk. I've seen the fallout from a false positive result on a DNA test and it ain't pretty!

Ann


Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 03, 2007, 11:39:43 pm
To Ann or Andy,

I understand that the DNA PCR test is not approved by the FDA, mostly b/c it is an expensive test and if approved, the clinics could not afford to give it to patients. I also understand that there is a chance of false positivity, although most of the providers say that those are worries that shouldn't exist with current testing procedures. Also, the provider said that Lab Quest would do the test, and they are a well known company. How reliable is a DNA PCR test at 28 days? I just don't think i'm going to last as long as 3 months, and would most likely not be calm with a negative antibody test before the 3 months. What do you recommend I do? My encounter would not have worried me as much if I didn't get gonorrhea from it. The fact that I caught an STD means to me that I could have gotten anything, especially since there are many reports which state that the HIV rate in Tijuana, Mexico is extremely high
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 04, 2007, 03:49:32 am
You are bringing this anxiety all on yourself. You did not have a risk, so you have no guidelines on testing. Go tomorrow and get your negative test if that is all you have done sexually.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on April 04, 2007, 05:27:07 am
tommy,

The expense isn't the reason the DNA test isn't approved for diagnostic purposes, it's because of the high rate of false positives. You'd be paying for the test out of pocket, so the lab or clinic won't care about the cost.

The RNA test IS approved as it has a lower rate of false positives, but you don't need one of those. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six WEEKS, so why not wait for then to test with a standard ELISA and collect your negative?

We don't seem to be getting through to you at all. Gonorrhea and hiv infect in totally different ways. Just because you got gonorrhea does not automatically mean you were infected with hiv. From your encounter, unless you've become hiv positive because you've been having unprotected with your girlfriend, you are going to test hiv negative.

And don't come back to tell me you "know" your girlfriend is hiv negative. Unless you've tested together with her, after three months of being strictly monogamous and wearing condoms, you don't know the state of her sexual health at all. Wise up and start using condoms. Every time, NO EXCEPTIONS and that includes with your girlfriend.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 04, 2007, 10:30:37 pm
Just an FYI,

My girlfriend tested for STDs and was negative. Therefore she was NOT the one who gave me gonorrhea as most of you assumed. I knew that I had gotten it from teh stripper, b/c there was a lot of vaginal secretions on my penis. She had told me that she was really "wet" after our lap dance. That is why I'm worried that a lot of secretion entered my urethra. I just wanted to let you konw that it wasn't my girlfriend who gave it to me. Her and I have been in a long term monogomous relationship and this is teh first and only time I've strayed. I know I never will again.
Title: Re: scared for my wife
Post by: tommy420 on April 08, 2007, 04:21:45 am
I'm not an expert, but an HIV negative test after 12 weeks is CONCLUSIVE. That means you DO NOT have HIV. Btw, how did you get chlamydia from the stripper if you had protected sex with her? Did you have oral sex at all? Or did you somehow come into contact with her fluids?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on April 08, 2007, 05:07:17 am
Tommy,

I removed the post you made in another person's thread and placed it here, in your own thread, which is the ONLY place you should post on this forum. You do not have the knowledge to be giving advice on this forum, so please, don't. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 16, 2007, 12:09:46 am
I had a follow-up question: In my situation, you guys told me that my risk of acquiring HIV would not increase simply due to the fact that the stripper had gonorrhea. However, the CDC website (http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/qa/qa24.htm) states that a person who has an STD is "three to five times more likely than other HIV-infected persons to transmit HIV through sexual contact." Why does the CDC say this if this isn't true. I've been struggling with this quite a bit now. I just hit my 4 week mark and into my 5th week. I'm trying to convince myself not to take the DNA PCR test so I don't deal with the possibility of a false positive. And I know that if I take an antibody test right now and it comes back negative, it's not going to ease my mind until I take one at the 3 month mark. I just don't knwo what to do. I'm still having a hard time with the fact that I contacted gonorrhea through this exposure. I'm hoping that the meds cured it, although i saw my doc 10 days after taking the meds and told him I was still having symptoms, and he told me I don't need to retest and that the meds would've cured it.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 16, 2007, 03:17:41 am
First of all you are trying to assume that in your situation that the girl had HIV. You don't know that she did or didn't. It doesn't matter that she had an STD or not. You didn't have a risk. Did you contract an STD? Stop with all the what ifs and move on.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on April 16, 2007, 06:19:49 am
tommy,

If you'd had unprotected intercourse with this woman, THEN you would have been at increased risk of hiv because of her gonorrhea. You didn't have intercourse, unprotected or otherwise. Hiv isn't transmitted via mutual masturbation - which your situation was - no matter what sort of spin you want to put on it.

Test all you like for hiv, just don't be surprised at the negative result. By the way, the DNA PCR isn't approved for diagnostics, the RNA is. BUT, it is only approved for very specific situations; yours doesn't qualify as you had NO RISK.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 16, 2007, 06:15:57 pm
Thanks for the response Ann.

Rapid Rod, I contracted gonorrhea from this incident. I"m going to get a full STD panel end of next week (almost 6 week mark). Wish me luck.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 17, 2007, 01:12:20 am
Can someone explain to me about the different strands of HIV? I understand there are 2 subtypes: HIV-1 and HIV-2, and HIV-2 is predominently found in Africa. How about strands however? How many different strands of HIV-1 are there, and what are the significant differences between them?
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 17, 2007, 01:48:32 am
Read the lessons section.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on April 17, 2007, 06:39:35 am
tommy,

Let me put it to you this way. Those of us who are positive don't know - and don't care - what "strain" (it's strain, not strand) we have. It doesn't matter. Not one bit. It doesn't matter where you are concerned either.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 17, 2007, 03:12:31 pm
Hi Ann. I was just curious about the different strains b/c I knew nothing of them. Anyway I decided to take your advice and not go ahead with the DNA PCR. I'm going to take an antibody test next week (it'll be 2 days short of 6 weeks)...hopefully it'll come out negative.

I know that you base your answers in these situations to general occurrences of HIV in the general population. But befire I go, I want to reiterate one thing: Everyone kept telling me that you don't get HIV from hand to genital contact, and that HIV is very fragile and it dies as soon as exposed to air. My sitation is different in these two ways:

1) The stripper rubbed her vaginal secretions into my urethra. Now she didn't open the urethra with one hand, and then reach inside...however she rubbed herself and then immediately rubbed my penis, rubbing the tip on numerous occasions.

2) She rubbed my urethra as SOON as she rubbed herself. Granted HIV virus cells do not do well once exposed to air, however it's not far-fetched to say some of them were to survive if she did have HIV. Furthermore, I got gonorrhea from this incident, meaning that her vaginal secretions (possibly gonorrhea puss as my doctor said) obviously entered through my urethra.

This is why I'm concerned. If I simply received an average hand-job, I wouldn't be posting on this website. It's everyone above plus the fact that I was in a dirty city in an even dirtier place, which I will never go to again.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on April 17, 2007, 05:48:47 pm
Tommy,

Have you ever heard of frottage? Frottage is the rubbing together of genitals, without penetration. Frottage is not a risk for hiv infection, not even when a penis is rubbed against the outside of a wet vagina. Frottage is not an hiv risk and neither is your handjob scenario. You didn't have an hiv risk. Period.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 18, 2007, 09:57:18 pm
I posted my situation on another website's forum (I hope you don't feel that I'm cheating on you :0) and here's what teh doctor had to say:

"Tommy, of course getting gonorrhea means your HIV risk was elevated. The risk still is very low; doubling a miniscule risk still leaves miniscule risk. If you are nervous, the way to deal with it is to get tested. Ventilating online is like masturbation: feels good at the time but ultimately unsatisfying."

As you can see, this makes my nervous level go from a 10 to a 20, especially since a docctor is telling me that my HIV risk was elevated, dispite the fact that he believes it was still miniscule. Does anyone agree with his comment? Did my gonorrhea risk increase since I caught gonorrhea? I understand that the Dr. is saying that since my risk was small before, even doubling or tripling my risk would still make it small, but did I double/triple my risk?

The past 5 weeks have been the work weeks of my life. Everyday I keep convincing myself not to take a DNA PCR and just wait for the antibody test, but it's hard. I try to keep myself busy, but I can't tell my situation to anyone, especially my beautiful girlfriend. We've been together for a while and I've never done anything like this to her, and I feel horrible. I just want everything to turn out ok in the end.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 18, 2007, 10:17:33 pm
I don't buy your story. Give us the URL that you posted on and got your reply.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 18, 2007, 10:23:20 pm
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/HIV/messages/969.html

Read the last 5 postings
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 18, 2007, 10:30:06 pm
Yeah, you tried to argue with Dr. H and you got the same damn information that we gave you. NO RISK!

Tommy, of course getting gonorrhea means your HIV risk was elevated. The risk still is very low; doubling a miniscule risk still leaves miniscule risk. If you are nervous, the way to deal with it is to get tested. Ventilating online is like masturbation: feels good at the time but ultimately unsatisfying.

Feel free to email yourselves or to take your discussion to some other forum. I will delete any further comments here.

Note: The same response goes here like you were told on Medhelp. Feel free to email yourselves or to take your discussion to some other forum. .
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 18, 2007, 10:41:14 pm
Rapid Rod, I understand that people like me who seem to present no actual risk in your minds must annoy those who have had a very serious risk, i.e., unprotected anal sex with a confirmed HIV positive person. But you have to understand, I am very worried b/c I have never put myself in a situation like this. If a doctor tells me that not only was I theoretically at risk for HIV, but I've increased my chance b/c of a gonorrhea infection, that's going to flip me out. I'm sorry if my posts annoy you or anyone else, but since I can't talk to my g/f or anyone else about this, I take comfort in hearing from you guys.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 18, 2007, 10:47:53 pm
You were never at risk and there has never been a documented case of contracting HIV or the clap from masterbating. Now you can worry yourself all you want, but don't be doing it here. Take it elsewhere.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 18, 2007, 10:51:15 pm
Fine, I will...but guess what? My situation wasn't a simple "masturbation" and I CAUGHT THE CLAP FROM MY SITUATION. So DOCUMENT IT! Everyone just keeps on quoting statistics. Well, I caught gonorrhea from the situation I engaged in. It makes sense, vaginal secretion in the urethra, why not get gonorrhea if it's easy to get and she had it. HIV is more difficult, I understnad, but it's still a possibility and it's that possilibity that i'm worried about, espeically since I went against odds and caught gonorrhea
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: RapidRod on April 18, 2007, 11:03:14 pm
GOOD BYE!
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Ann on April 19, 2007, 04:52:42 am
tommy,

Theoretically, there is a minuscule chance of getting hit by a meteorite the next time you step foot outside your house. If you don't wear a hard hat, you increase the chance of getting hurt by a meteorite. THEORETICAL risks just don't happen in the real world. Theoretically, you could walk outside your house and find a 10 million dollar winning lottery ticket lying in the gutter. Is it going to happen? No. Are you going to be hit by a random meteorite tomorrow? Again, NO. Neither are you going to get hiv from this situation.

Ann
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on April 25, 2007, 09:06:22 pm
Hi Ann, Andy, and anyone else except rapidrod,

I'm going in for a full STD panel tomorrow morning at Planned Parenthood, which will be my 39th day mark. Please pray for me as I have for you. One thing I'm concerned about is that for the past 5 days, I've had pain in my testicles, and am fearing that maybe my gonorrhea was not cured although my doc promised me that the shot he gave me would've cured it. Hopefully, it'll be something else, b/c I don't want to give anything to my g/f. Please think about me. Thanks for all your help.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on May 06, 2007, 08:47:41 pm
Hi Andy, hope you're doing well. I read a lot of your writings on hear and really need your opinion. I need you to hear me out, b/c i've been freaking out everyday.

I took a full panel STD test on Friday, which will check for HIV, hep B, hep C, syphillis, gon/chlam and herpes. Friday was my 47th day post exposure (2 days short of 7 weeks). I understand that everyone keeps telling me I had no exposure and I shouldn't worry about HIV. Obviously, the only reason I'm worried about HIV was b/c I got GONORRHEA from my exposure, and I've read everywhere that having gonorrhea can increase your chances of getting HIV AND someone who has gonorrhea and HIV is 3-5 times more contagious when it comes to HIV. I read this on the CDC website. Now, I understand that my exposure wasn't high risk, but since I got gonorrhea, shouldn't I have a reasonable/legit concern about HIV? Especially since I was in a strip club in Tijuana, Mexico, and obviously i wasn't the first person this stripper gave a hand job to. I know I got the gonorrhea b/c as I had said, she directly rubbed my urethra after she rubbed herself. If she had gonorrhea  puss on her fingers that entered my urethra, that would obviously increase my HIV risk.

I know you've probably never heard of anyone getting HIV this way, but have you ever heard of anyone getting gonorrhea this way either? I'd appreciate your words. Thanks.

p.s. I should get my test results on Tuesday or wednesday.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: flight62 on May 06, 2007, 10:46:32 pm
tommy
The saying "me think you protest too" keeps floating around my 19 yr hiv infected brain. If I were a betting man, I just might bet there was more around your penis than a wet hand!! Guilt can cause us to do and say many things to justify that yerning to be set free of that guilt. If I am wrong, my sincere apologies, but your story comes across as about as sincere and true as Howard K Smith's intentions to help Anna Nichol Smith with countless drugs.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on May 06, 2007, 10:58:20 pm
Hi Flight, I'm not sure I understand what you're implying. Are you implying more than a hand-job occurred and I'm just not saying so? If I had full on unprotected sex with this stripper, why wouldn't I say it? I'm anonymous in this forum. The hardest thing I'm dealing with right now is to convince people that I'm telling the truth, and that has been hard for me, in addition to worrying about HIV. I don't know how I can convince you or anyone else that I did actually get gonorrhea through a handjob with vaginal fluids. I had a urethral swab test performed for gonorrhea 1 week after my exposure and my doc said it tested positive for gonorrhea. I believe that it was a stain test b/c I got the results in the office in 10 minutes.

Please believe me, I have no reason to lie. I've only come to this forum for support so I don't drive myself crazy. Do you have any comments on my original question?

p.s. I accept your apology
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: flight62 on May 06, 2007, 11:18:59 pm
I understand the craziness with not knowing. It took five years to not panic over blood results. (they will go up and down)

Bottom line is until you get your results you are probably gonna act crazy. We have ALL been there. Just stop panicing. Whether you want to believe this, you ARE protesting way too much! I can only hope you are being truthful in your intention so just try and use the time until you get your results and reflect on what you did and why you did it. This could be an excellent time for you to reflect on your life and if negative, be graious and learn from your situation. If positive, you will join an exclusive group of men and woman that are in the same boat and who are just trying to make good out of an unfortunate situation. IF you were to test HIV positive, you will be in a much better place in 2007 than I was in 1988. HIV is NOT a death sentence.

Perhaps it's time to have a nice heart to heart with your girlfriend.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: tommy420 on May 08, 2007, 10:15:11 pm
got my results today after testing at the 47th day after encounter (a day and a half short of 7 weeks).

Hep B - negative
Hep C - negative
Herpes 1/2 - both negative
Syphilis - negative
chlamydia - negative
gonorrhea - negative
HIV-1 ab - negative

Should I retest for HIV at 13 weeks?

Should I test for HIV-2 as my encounter took place in Tijuana, Mexico?

I still have pain in my left testicle (I had acquired gonorrhea from this same encounter and was treated). I was worried that the treatment hadn't worked but according to my results it seems that it might have.

I just want everyone to know that I was truthful about acquiring gonorrhea through my encounter, and it is POSSIBLE to get an STD from a hand-job with vaginal secretions used as a lubricant.

Thanks to all that have been there for me.
Title: Re: I'm very worried...please help me with advice ASAP!
Post by: Bucko on May 08, 2007, 11:26:19 pm
got my results today after testing at the 47th day after encounter (a day and a half short of 7 weeks).

Hep B - negative
Hep C - negative
Herpes 1/2 - both negative
Syphilis - negative
chlamydia - negative
gonorrhea - negative
HIV-1 ab - negative

Should I retest for HIV at 13 weeks?

Should I test for HIV-2 as my encounter took place in Tijuana, Mexico?

I still have pain in my left testicle (I had acquired gonorrhea from this same encounter and was treated). I was worried that the treatment hadn't worked but according to my results it seems that it might have.


Tommy-

You tested negative for gonno. Why don't you believe the test results?

Trust all the test results and the sage advice given to you here from the very beginning. You cannot contract HIV from a hand job...period.

Brent
(Who knows that Tommy's negative)