POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: Lis on February 21, 2007, 07:41:00 pm
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I could not be more greatful ::)
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What's wrong, dear?
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hey babe...
nothing any more wrong then normal... I find it odd that people are freaking out about the fact that they may have AIDS... Said souls have been quite accusatory of the "old timers" until the NEED them... go figure...
I'm a mess, i have shitty insurance... blah blah blah... that's my life...
there is the fact that I have 2 kids that keeps my head screwed on straight...
thanks for the moment of venting!!!
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Lis, we're old honey, but look at it this way, "We're not dead." ;)
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It was a bit disappointing to see folks lecture people on their "fears" only to have those same individuals (well one in particular) have a meltdown because of his own fears of a label. Hopefully now he has an appreciation that life is lived in the gray area (full of fears), and not this black and white (remember the forum is on the internet) simplistic world.
We all have fears. They may be different. But they do exist in all of us.
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Well, Lis, at least you have insurance ::)
People who have never experienced real loss can never imagine what we live through, and perhaps that's best. As Rod says, We're not dead (yet).
Vent away-
Brent
Added to say that I agree with Cliff on this, too.
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Cliff, I know exactly what you're talking about. It's always been said to watch what you say, it could come back and bite you on the butt. That's what happened.
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Lis, I hear you. And its one of the reasons I went away. And trust me, taking the high road is really hard when the "I told ya so" is sticking in your throat like a piece of wood.
I certainly hope that recent events have caused some of the newly diagnosed to reconsider their ostricization of the HIV/AIDS veterans.
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Yeah....
It sucks when you fully realize that you have a disease that isn't going to go away and you have to settle in for the long haul. When you suddenly see with great clarity that you don't always have control over it. Sometimes it will kick your ass, be it with illness or the mental load of just living with it.
Makes that 'manageable' term fade a bit into the background.
Hey Lis. Sorry to hear the insurance is still a bitch.
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Jonathan, I'm glad to see you back. I've been keeping up on your blogs.
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I'd have to agree also.
We really do need people who tell others "if you don't learn how to cope with the stress better, you will not last long with HIV" when they're in the middle of a crisis. That was really helpful JK. No doubt.
One would think some people would have the capacity to try to go back to the time when they were trying to get used to their status and all the implications, stress and baggage that comes with it, and show a semblance of empathy, but instead you hear the usual condescending "your naive" chatter and talked about in a special little thread - really helpful I tell ya!
They make statements like "I find it odd that people are freaking out about the fact that they may have AIDS" and then they wonder why there is such a divide, hostility, between generations.
Then again, as the saying goes, "oftentimes those who require the most empathy are usually the ones who lack the capacity to show any to others."
I'm also glad your back JK. I've always enjoyed reading your posts.
Love,
Mike
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Mike, your antagonism towards me will not be tolerated this time out. I urge you to find your target elswehere. I will be banned from here before I let you get away with it again.
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It was a bit disappointing to see folks lecture people on their "fears" only to have those same individuals (well one in particular) have a meltdown because of his own fears of a label. Hopefully now he has an appreciation that life is lived in the gray area (full of fears), and not this black and white (remember the forum is on the internet) simplistic world.
We all have fears. They may be different. But they do exist in all of us.
Yes sir.... preach and I will listen!! Can I get an Amen?!?!
Lis... Anytime and I do mean any time... I hope you know what I mean. Juney says to tell you hi :)
As you can see you are loved :-*
(((BIG HUGS)))
Thomas
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StrongGuy,
You will NOT be permitted to follow Jonathan around these forums again, harassing him, like you have in the past. You will NOT be warned about this behaviour again - you will simply be given your second (30 day) time out.
Ann
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I would dare say the antogism and harassment has cut both ways (and other who can vouch for that, and I can document it) but I made my point and have the utmost respect for you Ann so I will end it and not escalate this to the point of time outs.
I'll just use the report button instead.
Apologies...
Mikey
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StrongGuy,
You started it THIS time and I WILL put an end to it if you continue. What went on before was MONTHS ago. Enough is enough.
I'll be watching closely, mark my words.
Ann
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I got it... :)
I won't be around much anyway with spring and summer busy work time travel.
I sent ya a PM.
Mike ;)
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How about the ignore button over the report button?
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I hate when there's board baggage and drama that I know nothing about.
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{{{{{Lis}}}}},
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Hugs,
Alain.
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It was a bit disappointing to see folks lecture people on their "fears" only to have those same individuals (well one in particular) have a meltdown because of his own fears of a label. Hopefully now he has an appreciation that life is lived in the gray area (full of fears), and not this black and white (remember the forum is on the internet) simplistic world.
We all have fears. They may be different. But they do exist in all of us.
Couldn't agree more Cliff.
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Hey Lis,
I haven't forgotten about you honey.....been meaning to pick up the phone, but time is short and so is the 'energy level' these days.
Yep, us old timers can sometimes come in handy can't we? LOL. I realize that our "issues" may be very different from more newly diagnosed people, but hopefully we can all support each other. I just received a notice from my Medicare Part D provider (Sierra) that I am going to be "dis-enrolled" effective the 28th for non-payment of premiums (by the State of AL Medcap program)....
just got home from the AIDS clinic in Bham, complete with half hat and stool sampling kits....oh joy. I have hauled more s**t than Carter's got pills....now I get to haul it to B'ham!
Life with the big A isn't always so rosy kids....
???
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*shakes her head*...Nope, I'm not gonna feed into this one. I think what I stated under my avatar says what I think. I do agree with what StrongGuy is saying regardless of his issues with other members. But who doesn't have an issue with another forum member at some point.
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I hate when there's board baggage and dram that I know nothing about.
Ditto. I feel like a new co-anchor on the View.
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Ditto. I feel like a new co-anchor on the View.
Can I be Kathy Griffin?
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Can I be Kathy Griffin?
You're Rosie and you fucking KNOW IT!
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Hey Benj,
I think if brain fog serves me right, that you went on a HSA at work too... I was super stressed about the ability to get my medication.. I maxed out a couple credit cards to get to the 4000.00 copay..
I think you both look like Vanna White!! :P
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Hey Benj,
I think if brain fog serves me right, that you went on a HSA at work too... I was super stressed about the ability to get my medication.. I maxed out a couple credit cards to get to the 4000.00 copay..
I think you both look like Vanna White!! :P
Your brain fog has lifted... they are doing that to us... and I know it's a code for bankruptcy... I'm starting to go a bit crazy looking for another job... while working over 50 hours a week. Awesome.
And thank you for the compliment! I wonder if letter turning would come with health insurance as a benefit... hmmm... ;)
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And I would like to say that everyone here... in both public threads and through PMs has been absolutely amazing during this nerve-wracking time.
You guys have been great... and I can't say enough how much I appreciate it.
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I hear it comes with MORE benefit then that!!!! :-*
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Queen's quote (under her avatar) and Mike are right on (except for busting on JK). How many here have lost a parent or child and feel like the world's coming to an end and don't know how to cope? We've all needed support at one time or another and to criticize one group (newbies) for needing emotional support isn't what it's all about. I can see that, as we become more experienced with this crap called HIV & AIDS, our support needs will change. My needs have certainly changed; now, I have more questions about the long-term survival instead of needing as much emotional support. For that, I look to and respect those who've lived with HIV & AIDS for a long time.
It's almost like some of the 'old timers' resent the fact that some haven't had to deal with this as long as they have. I've always listened to the advice anybody gives me here (with a few exceptions) and decide what's best based on the advice, research, and my Dr. People need time to adjust to this; some take longer than others to accept it. Some go for 10+ years with no meds and some progress very quickly. I can certainly see why somebody who's just found out they're poz, know they were fairly recently infected, and quickly progress to OI's or an AIDS diagnosis would be a bit freaked out.
I certainly hope my post yesterday (or was it the day before) about HIV vs. AIDS wasn't misinterpreted as anything other than trying to figure out what my status is. I've read the CDC info and still don't have a real understanding. I also meant it as a bit of humor. It strikes me as humorous, for some reason that, if I'm really considered to have AIDS, nobody told me. I'm definitely not overly concerned about it or upset.
Remember, we all were newly diagnosed once, have had bad health situations, etc. I think we forget how stressful these periods can be when we've dealt with them for a long time. Let's try to be a bit more compassionate and just skip those posts that, for some reason, irritate us.
David
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David..
I really think you are on to something.. If we old folk would have had the benefits of medication that some newly diagnosed had then our lives would have been very different.. there would I would hope,not be a list of dead people and funerals , the fear that we were next.. only.. I hope i react well to the meds.. this shit is ugly , no question, it just sorta feels like a smack in the face ..
perhaps it's supposed to hurt, perhaps not...
respect to ALL!!!
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David..
I really think you are on to something.. If we old folk would have had the benefits of medication that some newly diagnosed had then our lives would have been very different.. there would I would hope,not be a list of dead people and funerals , the fear that we were next.. only.. I hope i react well to the meds.. this shit is ugly , no question, it just sorta feels like a smack in the face ..
perhaps it's supposed to hurt, perhaps not...
respect to ALL!!!
Lis,
The thing that I think I'm most fortunate about, in living with this crap, is not the newer drug options. It's that I haven't lost all friends and loved ones that some have. That, to me, would be almost unbearable. Reading the posts where people talk about all the folks in their lives that have died ... well, brings me to tears. I understand where you're coming from, though, and I too live knowing that it's not going to be an easy ride. And yes, deep down, it scares the shit out of me. Take care.
David
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I believe that each one of us, whether newly diagnosed or Long-Term Survivor, has our own set of 'issues', that are equally as important as anyone else's issues.
There is no reason why we can't all be more tolerant of each other and put some pettiness aside and get down to the real issue of SUPPORT, which is what we are here for.
Let's all grow a little bit thicker skin, and let's all be respectful of where someone is on the journey.
As a side note, one thing I would like to mention is that practically everyone I have ever known who is a long-term survivor of AIDS (many of whom I have met through this site) is as TOUGH AS NAILS. We've had to be. Moffie, RAB, Lis, Lisa, Joe, Herman, Dan.....each of us is very different, but similar in that we are all incredibly strong people. Sometimes that strength may come across as a bit overbearing, but as for myself, I only want to help someone else find their way, not tell them that my way is the ONLY way.
In the words of another LTS, "Just sayin"......
with love and respect for ALL !
Alan
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When I was first diagnosed, about a year and a half ago, I was at my wits end, trying to find out anything and everything about HIV and how to cope with it, I perchance happened to stumble onto the old forums. I lurked for weeks, then finally summoned up my courage, registered, and posted for the first time.
Who welcomed me? A whole host of people, most of them what some would consider to be old-timers. It was Moffie who sent me roses and told me how glad he was I didn't jump in front of a bus. Alanbama, JK, RAB, Joe and a whole bunch of others that I no longer remember helped me muddle my way through, assuring me it would get better when I just KNEW I was never going to be able to deal with this. I really regret not going back and printing out those first posts before the old forum went away. Their words at that time were uplifting, calming, and inspiring to me. To have contact with folks who had lived with HIV about as long as I ever knew about the disease gave me great hope for the future.
They also gave me a wake up call, that despite the pretty boys in the ads and the rosy uplifting words by some health workers, HIV is a serious disease that requires serious attention if you are to live a long life. I learned from them that it was possible, but it wasn't going to be a walk in the park. I learned things that could make me less vulnerable to sickness, and I learned that meds, while miraculous in their performance, do come at some cost. Sometimes a great cost. I also learned that sometimes it just boils down to dumb luck and good genes.
There were some newly diagnosed I met those first weeks (Steinway, I wish you'd come back here). We cried on each others shoulders, worked through questions, compared notes, and sorted out all sorts of feelings that it is easy to forget that I ever had. Those first weeks/months are a blur to me now, several months of pure misery and unpleasantness, during which these boards were about the only support I had.
So there is a place for both the experienced and the naive here. There is room for each group to learn from the other. The old can remember the angst and fear they once felt, the new can learn how to maybe make their lives with HIV go just a bit easier, or, at the very least, not be blindsided by what may come their way.
I for one am glad the more experienced of those among us have returned. I've missed them, and think the boards were a lesser place without them.
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Thank you for that, Whizzer.
Wow time flies doesn't it? Only a year and a half ago we were welcoming you...and look at where you are now, giving great advice to others and seeming to be very well adjusted with your own place in "the journey".
Hugs,
Alan
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Gee Whiz (no, I didn't just write that, did I? ::) ),
You said a mouthful. We aren't playing king of the hill here.
We are all on a journey and nobody's journey will be the same, simply because we are all so varied and individual.
That said, I guess I fit the long-term survivor label, or maybe that should be "golden oldie."
I understand the difficulty people newly diagnosed have learning to live with this bug. I also know what its like to have lived with this thing for decades.
It boils down to each of us has something to offer here. I am invigorated by the youthful banter, etc., and by the hope that many of the more newly infected bring to this forum
At the same time, I hope I am able to pass along a little of my experience and what knowledge I possess to assist those just starting down their path.
Isn't that what we are here for?
Hey Lis,
Just wanted to say I'm glad your here. Love ya.
HUGS,
Mark
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Lis,
Have you tried these alternatives for support. Hope they help.
(http://www.bra-g.com/SiteCM/i/upload/B94B6E3EC98895722551F1427DEA63382AE99872.jpg)
Or
(http://www.boundarysports.com/products/resize_images.php?file_name=jock-strap.jpg&max_width=400&max_height=400)
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Lis,
Have you tried these alternatives for support. Hope they help.
(http://www.bra-g.com/SiteCM/i/upload/B94B6E3EC98895722551F1427DEA63382AE99872.jpg)
Or
(http://www.boundarysports.com/products/resize_images.php?file_name=jock-strap.jpg&max_width=400&max_height=400)
AC, I say this with no intent to offend, but sometimes, you see just demented! (but in a good way and always funny. I appreciate a sense of humor similar to my own). ;)
David
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I like the fact you like bubble butts like mine!
Say hi when you get to KC!
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We are all on a journey and nobody's journey will be the same, simply because we are all so varied and individual.
That said, I guess I fit the long-term survivor label, or maybe that should be "golden oldie."
I understand the difficulty people newly diagnosed have learning to live with this bug. I also know what its like to have lived with this thing for decades.
It boils down to each of us has something to offer here. I am invigorated by the youthful banter, etc., and by the hope that many of the more newly infected bring to this forum
At the same time, I hope I am able to pass along a little of my experience and what knowledge I possess to assist those just starting down their path.
Can I nominate this for best post of the entire week??!?!
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186 funerals of friends that I knew and loved
23 years living in a country with their eyes, ears, and minds firmly locked shut to a world wide pandemic
23 years of living as an "outsider" to the "normal" population
12 years of personal struggle to stay alive while fighting OIs and pills that kill
2 two ASO creations that were sucessful, yet failed because the audience didn't want to hear the truth
too many friends currently struggling with life and death issues
5 candle light marches that involved over 25,000 each
1 riot that tore up San Francisco
Sorry people, all of the above qualify me to be a bit cranky, impatient, and maybe just a tad bit intollerant of pablum issues that have little or nothing to do with HIV survival.
As far as the newbie/oldie bullshit; well, please let me become HIV negative and I will gladly enlist in the ranks of the newbies with their long term outlook for a trouble free HAART existence. I would give anything for that to happen.
REALITY CHECK
I am a long term survivor, I don't care what anyone defines it as, and yes, I do have knowledge that will be useful to those inquiring. I do know that the unreasonable stress about infection will damage the immune system more, I also know that anyone unable to face reality is in for a really rough road. This goes for the population of the planet, not just HIV+ people.
Just my asshole and pissed off thoughts this very fine day!
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186 funerals of friends that I knew and loved
23 years living in a country with their eyes, ears, and minds firmly locked shut to a world wide pandemic
23 years of living as an "outsider" to the "normal" population
12 years of personal struggle to stay alive while fighting OIs and pills that kill
2 two ASO creations that were sucessful, yet failed because the audience didn't want to hear the truth
too many friends currently struggling with life and death issues
5 candle light marches that involved over 25,000 each
1 riot that tore up San Francisco
Sorry people, all of the above qualify me to be a bit cranky, impatient, and maybe just a tad bit intollerant of pablum issues that have little or nothing to do with HIV survival.
As far as the newbie/oldie bullshit; well, please let me become HIV negative and I will gladly enlist in the ranks of the newbies with their long term outlook for a trouble free HAART existence. I would give anything for that to happen.
REALITY CHECK
I am a long term survivor, I don't care what anyone defines it as, and yes, I do have knowledge that will be useful to those inquiring. I do know that the unreasonable stress about infection will damage the immune system more, I also know that anyone unable to face reality is in for a really rough road. This goes for the population of the planet, not just HIV+ people.
Just my asshole and pissed off thoughts this very fine day!
Although Daddy Tim's much more of an activist than I ever was (or shall be), he defines the issues like no one else. And his humor in the face of everything he faces astonishes me.
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Dearest Liz,
Venting is always a good thing, as long as you keep it in perspective. Based on the challenges that you face you are possibly one of the most highly spirited individuals here. You have real issues and challenges and when you need to rail against the machine, well you just let it rip.
And a thanks to Whizzer as your post really said it all. Maybe we should all stop worrying about how to label each other and just get back to the job of support. We will always have this difference between the newer diagnosed and longtime survivors and there is much that each group can learn from each other.
Yes this forum must reflect the "truth" regarding HIV, but that does not mean we ignore the hope that will always be there. No body likes to have their feelings or experiences belittled and many of you would absolutely be in awe of some of our members here, who have faced more challenges in the past twenty years than most people do in a life time.
Does the fact that our experiences and perceptions differ mean one is better than the other??? No, just that each of us are unique. I make no apologies for most of my posts, even when they might appear to be preaching. I suppose losing a hundred or so friends, to this virus, gives me some insight that newer pozzies could learn from. I lived the history that I share and I know, first hand, how apathetic our country is toward pozzies and I offer my experience because I know it makes a difference. I share history and insight in the hopes that others will avoid past mistakes and that new AIDS activists would step forward.
Like Tim, I have lived the horror and I rail against the machine, because I know what our country is capable of doing, or in our case, not doing. They have turned thier backs on the poz population for 25 years and even today it is still more important to fund new weapons, than to add a few hundred million dollars to the Ryan White program, which would wipe out waiting lists for HIV services accross this country. So much of the history that we "oldies" share is a warning that the battle for adequate health care for pozzies is still raging.
No one here is the "enemy", so stop acting like some of us are. I need you as much as you need me. Accept that and all the rest is just "fluff". Granted labels can be useful to identify differences, but not when those same labels become weapons.
When I need help, all I seek are people who will empathize with me and if appropriate offer constructive criticism. I believe that shared need to both offer and receive help is the bond that binds us all as we face our challenges of being poz. For many of us, we have enough crap to deal with just staying alive so I do not care what you want to call me, just don't exclude me.
Like I said, I need you as much as you need me and to me, that is a very good thing.