POZ Community Forums
Off Topic Forums => Off Topic Forum => Topic started by: wolfter on December 01, 2011, 08:57:23 am
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I just need to vent a little bit this morning. I'm in that place where confusion and anger are diametrically opposed to the heart. I took a leap last night and invited Stephen to the V. I had an officer's meeting and he enjoys my brother's company so I thought it'd be great if they spent time together while I attended my meeting.
Everything was going great until too much alcohol flowed. I realize he had a 2 hour headstart and considering he was with my bro, it could be considered a 4 hour headstart. ::) We finally had a little time alone and I didn't appreciate some of his comments. I realize he is recently diagnosed but that gives no one the right to displace that anger!
I took his comments to heart until I thought through them. I was accused of not being enough of an advocate and speaking to this disease. This coming from a man who stayed in a marriage and has a young child born of a lie. But hey, I'm not judging?
There's a bit of truth to his comments but he doesn't know me enough to make those determinations. When Bill and I first got together, we had to overcome a lot of obstacles and we faced those challenged head on. We both had young children and had to put that interest first. We were activists in our own way; we showed our community that a gay couple could live a productive life without being the perverts to be feared. We maintained a nice home, worked and were awesome weekend parents. Our home became the center of activity and the neighborhood parents eventually accepted and trusted us with their children.
We broke a lot of barriers in our own way. I was too focused on fighting the court system on a regular basis trying to prove that my lifestyle wasn't a detriment to my son's well being. That was a regular fight for over a decade! I guess I believed that living a productive life and crushing the stereotypes of a gay couple was as important as any activism.
I just don't need someone who falsely chose a hetero lifestyle for most of his life to judge me tell me the facts of life. And to have him tell me that I don't understand? I so wanted to bitch slap him.
Thanks all! I just needed to write all of this. I could have written in my journal and moved on, but I was so angry that I almost posted on FB. Imagine that....lol
Wolfie
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I think you should still bitch-slap him. Especially now that he's had time to sober up.
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Hey Wolfie ... sounds like the liquor was talking . I guess the only thing to do is have a sober conversation with him about it . If he is the type to discuss serious topics while intoxicated you may want to discuss that while sober also . It takes work to maintain friends and lovers alike .
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Is this guy by any chance a Republican?
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Is this guy by any chance a Republican?
Aren't all closeted gay guys? ;D
I'm still in that stage where I'm processing how much I am willing to invest in helping someone deal with their demons. I'm not sure I have it in me at this stage of life. 30 years of being closeted is going to require a lot of cleaning. He qualifies statments such as never allowing his ex and child to know and has no desire to ever be completely open about his sexuality. I was there once, like 20+ years ago.
Or maybe just continue the status quo and and physical relationship until something better comes along? Shallow; yes, realistic; yes.
Wolfie
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I need to do some catching up with your life ,it seemed only awhile ago I wishing you luck on the first date.
3 thought ,s come to mind. 1. is introducing Stephen to the notion that the person is political it was simply a political act fighting to bring up your child within a gay relationship.
2. alcohol is to sense as the euro is to stability. 3 . you really have been a busy man and boy.
luv&stuff
m