POZ Community Forums

HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Paul23 on October 11, 2006, 07:44:41 pm

Title: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on October 11, 2006, 07:44:41 pm
Hi, I got extremely drunk about 7 weeks ago. I fell on the street and busted my head open pretty bad. The police were after me the whole night asking who I was where I was going etc. I eventually came out of my drunken stupor and realized I had cuts all over my hands and face. Some of them really deep took 3 weeks to heal and as they were healing it looked as if a needle had entered me. So the question I’m asking myself was I attacked by a drug addict. The whole night in question was pretty hazy a police man asked did I have any blood borne diseases. So I’m scared but allot of the time strangely calm. I’ve had symptoms of early HIV the rash is the most disturbing cause I got that a month after the incident before I even new it was a symptom so I cant simply put that down to my mind playing tricks on me. I’ve read allot about HIV and I feel I have a pretty good understanding of the contraction at least and there’s a good chance I could have it. If I do its threw my own foolish behaviour. I am going to get tested at the 3 month point I don’t want any one poking and prodding at me for the time being I know that may not be the wisest choice but it will keep me sane for the moment. I’ve done some out of character stuff since the incident that I wouldn’t in a million years have done before hand one thing in particular I’m perhaps not ashamed of but disturbed by. I am a really shy honest well mannered individual 90% of the time and I like that about myself (not that has anything to do with status)

I know the chances are slim of me not testing positive but what are the chances of  not getting the disease if the punctures of a empty needle are deep I know if there not deep there is very little chance of contracting it. I know this is a desperate question and this post in general is nothing  but a cry for attention but I feel myself slipping into a poor attitude especially to my future after the test.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: RapidRod on October 11, 2006, 08:16:54 pm
The chances that you were poke by a needle are slim to none. You were drunk, you don't know what happened, so to relieve your anxiety, go get a test a 13 weeks past your incident.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on October 12, 2006, 10:41:25 am
I have an idea what happened i had these awful flash backs. All though I cant remember an attack pacifically i can remember phoning my friend for help. the marks on my right hand looked like they were made by a needle and there was a puncture made to just over my lip and under my nostral im nearly sure it went the whole way threw as far as my gum. it took ages to heal 3 weeks after wards there was still small bits of fluid coming out of it and there was a tiny little cut big enough for a needle.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on October 12, 2006, 11:44:54 am
OK! The hell with this. I'm leaving this site alone for the remainder of the time till the test. Its a great resource but be dammed I'll only use it if i have to i know enough about contraction if I've screwed myself I've screwed myself.

Thank you and my best to everyone.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on November 23, 2006, 09:09:14 am
I had wrote a big long rant about what I was feeling but I decided not to post it as this forum is  really only for assessment purposes. Instead I’ll try keep the drama to a minimum. I’m going to get tested this Monday and I’m terrified of getting a positive result as the symptoms I’ve had quiet frankly just have been intimidating the last 3 months have not been hell but certainly limbo. Things will either get really shite for a long time or really brilliant instantly I’ve learned allot in the past 3 months it’s a pity I did this to myself to learn it. I don’t know why I’m posting this at all. May luck be on my side. 
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Queen Tokelove on November 23, 2006, 11:02:14 pm
Paul~~

Good Luck on your doctor's visit on Monday. I know you are nervous about it which to me would be the normal reaction but don't drive yourself crazy about it. Just wait and see what the tests reveal. And when it comes back that you are ok, then no worries...
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Andy Velez on November 23, 2006, 11:22:34 pm
All of your worrying notwithstanding and despite all of the details related to the incident, nothing you have reported in anyway suggests to me that HIV was or will be a problem.

If blacking out from drinking is a problem for you then I urge you to get into a program to deal with that.

Otherwise as far as HIV is concerned I still expect you to test negative.

Cheers,
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on November 24, 2006, 11:13:10 am
Hi Andy hi Queen thank you for the replys its appreciated.

Andy, There was marks on my hands that  looked to have been scraped by a needle and there was marks that looked exactly like the tip of a needle that’s what has me worrying. But the thing about it  is I was running away from the guards and I’m pretty sure I took a fall at great speed and possibly down some steps (I know the area it happened in) I may have had a bottle of vodka in my hand as well so that may have broke causing some of the cuts. There was a hole in my rain coat as well which looked as if it was made by a needle. So its really hard to truly know what the hell happened. And I’ve every classic symptom for acute HIV at the correct time it may be in my mind but still very worrying.

I did something else that may be a cause for HIV. I had sex with a prostitute. Using a condom but it was a very sloppy and rough experience (so rough my foreskin got turned up possibly exposing me) So the condom slipped and may have broke. I was confused as hell while doing this. I was thinking of someone else (some one I adore but have no further contact with) and I let some stuff slip out of my mouth I said the word “love” I didn’t tell her I loved her or anything but you do not say the word “love” to a prostitute it’s a excellent way of spooking them out. I pissed her off in the way I was touching her and the shite that was coming out of my mouth.  I didn’t have control over the condoms so I have an irrational fear she infected me with something. I didn’t cum nor did I enjoy the experience but I’m not going to feel guilty for it either. I was a virgin before all of this happened. Would have rather have lost it to some one I cared about or at least liked. I know it was my choice though to do what I did.

As regarding my drinking. It’s been a problem on and off since I was 17 (I just turned 23 this month). The funny thing is I can go for sometimes months with out touching a drop then I go mad. So yes I need to do something about it cutting it out all together is the best option or at least until I’m more comfortable with myself cause I know what elements of my personality fuel the heavy drinking and  the self destructive behaviour.  If the results come back negative no more of this thing of telling myself I’m not good enough that contributed to allot of what I’ve put myself threw

All the best and thanks again.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Andy Velez on November 24, 2006, 11:54:18 am
Dealing with alcoholism, whether ongoing or episodic, is not something to struggle on with by yourself. Getting help in a program is what I have found through the years is what is most helpful to people. By your own description this has been a part of your life for over six years. Don't make the mistake of thinking you must and will solve this through sheer willpower. Get help. There is no shame in that. Quite the contrary. Drinking is a disease and it's most effectively addressed by getting support from others.

It does take humility to recognize and accept that.

As for your concerns about HIV, you're going to get tested.  Just make sure it's at 13 weeks after the most recent questionable incident and you'll get a reliable result. Despite what your head is telling you, I still expect you will test negative.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on November 25, 2006, 12:36:09 pm
The last questionable incident was I think 7 weeks ago. I know It’s best I wait for the 13 week result but from what I read 6 weeks is reliable so I’m getting tested on Monday rather then driving myself mad. And I all so read blood to blood contact threw needles is the most sufficient way of spreading it so if I got it at all I got it from the night on the street.

About the alcohol abuse. It has humbled me something terrible. What little bit of arrogance that’s in me comes out when I’m drunk so the questions I’m asking myself do I want to get my self into trouble over booze anymore do I want to be an ass hole when I’m drunk. I don’t know if a AA meeting is for me. I’ll get counselling for it defiantly.

I have felt some what optimistic over the weekend. Spent time with mam and dad (they don‘t know about this). They were asking me was I drunk or high or something cause I was extremely giddy the past few days. It’s strange how you act out when you put your self under pressure. Any way thanks again Andy I hope your right about me getting a negative result. You all never seem to wrong as regards peoples risk Factors. I’ll probably no a good indication of the results on Monday as they use rapid tests as well as the blood test. These dam symptoms have driven me mad. I have a dam rash on me chest at the minute when I had the flue like symptoms I got these flat spots (probably not symptoms) on my arms which didn’t disappear but turned to bruises before they did go away which is just dam scary any way enough symptom shopping.  I’ll let  you all know how it goes anyway.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on January 24, 2007, 06:16:35 pm
Hello all,

Well I went to a clinic just two weeks ago. Got the results there on Monday. Thank fully everything came back negative.
But the people at the clinic are slightly concerned about hepatitis C, The test came back negative but there was still room for doubt as they made me take more tests for syphilis HIV and Hep C but not Hep B. But hepatitis C was the main concern. I am mildly worried about HIV but I’ve tested negative 17 weeks after the needle stick incident and 12 weeks after the incident with the prostitute. Any way I’m sure things are ok but if you could let me know what you think that would be great
Thanks. 
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: RapidRod on January 24, 2007, 06:20:53 pm
There was never a reason to test with to begin with. You were never at risk like you've been told over and over again.
Title: Re: Silly behavior
Post by: Paul23 on January 24, 2007, 08:11:07 pm
Yeah your right. My appologies for trying your patience. Thanks to everyone who responded to my messages. Now I'm off to get on with my life. Ive learned allot by all of this believe it or not.

Thanks a million
Paul