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Author Topic: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse  (Read 14460 times)

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Offline WillyWump

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Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« on: April 25, 2012, 11:00:08 pm »
Some of you know my mom has been fighting Lung cancer for about 2 years now. She's a tough old (66) thing and has given it a valiant fight but as Lung Cancer often does it has spread to her brain. 20-30 Mets, including one large one on or near her brainstem it seems.

Monday night she was having problems standing and was very confused so I took her to hosital, and that is when they found that it had spread.

They've given her some drugs to shrink the swelling in her brain so she is pretty lucid and "with it" for now, which is nice, because at any moment that could go away again. She will begin Whole head radiation on Friday.

It really doesnt get any worse in regards to cancer, it is now in her Adrenal glands, bones , brain and brainstem (interesting enough the Chemo has cleared her lungs completely) but the buggers just keep moving around. Prognosis is clearly very poor. They are saying she has anywhere from a couple weeks to 3-6 months with the radiation. a few days without. She wants to continue on with the radiation so that is what we will do.

On top of all of this^ Mom will have to be coming back to live with me. She's not happy about it and I cant say Im totally thrilled but Im her only child and I will do whatever it takes and there is really no other option. I've tried to have nurses at her house over the past year, but she has kicked them out, not to mention I really cannot afford them full time.

Hospice is potentially in play here, we are just waiting on a firm diagnosis on prognosis from the doc which will probably come tomorrow or friday as they are still running tests.

So for the last few days between being at the hospital all day Ive been trying to get my house in shape to accomodate her. But I must say Im not real sure what to do in that regard. I will be meeting with a hospital social worker tomorrow who supposedly can hep me with home healthcare and getting beds, etc, that I might need.

So much to do and no time to do it in.

I'm up and down. I usually get real down as I drive to the hospital so then I walk in with big tomatoe eyes, but after that I'm usually fine.

On the upside, she has a cute nurse, and mom told me today that he was quizzing her about me. So we had a nice laugh about that. ;)

Wish me luck.

-Will.e.Wump.
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Offline Buckmark

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2012, 11:09:32 pm »
Will,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom.  She's fortunate to have a good son like you who is taking good care of her.  I will say several prayers for both of you.

Hugs,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline Jody

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #2 on: April 25, 2012, 11:12:36 pm »
So sorry about your mom Will, she is also lucky to have you as you are a wonderful son.  I hope her remaining time will be happily spent with you and your loved ones.  I am also an only child and elder care is tough, like you I try to handle it with patience, kindness and compassion.

Be well friend, Jody
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Offline anniebc

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2012, 11:14:03 pm »
Hi Will

Your mum is only two years older than me, she is too young to be going through this, I'm glad she has you beside her.  Even though it's not something you are not happy about I'm sure it will turn out OK for both of you, but it sounds like the Hospice will be the best place for her in the long run, if you are out working during the day there is no way you can give her the nursing she is going to need.

Thinking of you both.

Aroha
Jan :'(
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
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Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #4 on: April 25, 2012, 11:16:58 pm »
Oh Will, this is too bad. She is actually too young to be dealing with so much.

Just letting you know that you and your mom will be in my thoughts.  She is indeed blessed to have you by her side.  Sending you both many hugs.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #5 on: April 25, 2012, 11:23:30 pm »
I'm so sorry your mom is not doing well. Cancer is such a horrible thing. Hang in there.

Ford

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #6 on: April 25, 2012, 11:25:10 pm »
Will , I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your mom . My thoughts are with the both of you . Please remember to take care of yourself as well . BIG HUG .
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #7 on: April 25, 2012, 11:39:52 pm »
Thinking of both you and your mother, Wumpy
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #8 on: April 26, 2012, 01:54:38 am »
My thoughts are with your mom and you.  Stay strong!  I hate to even imagine this with my mom.  It is encouraging that she hasn't given up hope and still wants to kick some butt.     

Offline spacebarsux

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #9 on: April 26, 2012, 03:08:01 am »
I'm sorry to hear about this Will. Best wishes and all the strength to you and your mother.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline Growler

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #10 on: April 26, 2012, 05:59:09 am »
Willy, take care of yourself mate and try to find and share with your mum as much happiness and joy as possible in the time she has left.
GROWLER
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline bocker3

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #11 on: April 26, 2012, 07:25:04 am »
Will,

So sorry that your mom is in this shape.  I'm sure she knows how very fortunate she is to have such a good and caring son.
As you take care of her, please remember to take care of you too!  Get some exercise to help reduce your stress, and please try to eat well too.
Will keep you and mom in my thoughts.

Hugs,
Mike

Offline J.R.E.

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #12 on: April 26, 2012, 07:56:05 am »
Will,

Sorry to hear about you mom. Keeping both of you in my thoughts.


Ray
Current Meds ; Viramune / Epzicom Eliquis, Diltiazem. Pravastatin 80mg, Ezetimibe. UPDATED 2/18/24
 Tested positive in 1985,.. In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started on  HAART on October 24th, 2003.

 As of Oct 2nd, 2023, Viral load Undetectable.
CD 4 @676 /  CD4 % @ 18 %
Lymphocytes,absolute-3815 (within range)


72 YEARS YOUNG

Offline aztecan

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #13 on: April 26, 2012, 09:21:09 am »
Hey Will,

I am very sorry to hear of your mother's turn for the worse. I know this is a difficult time for you and for her.

I will send as much supportive energy as I can muster. You both will be in my thoughts.

(((((HUGS))))

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Ann

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #14 on: April 26, 2012, 09:55:12 am »
((((((Will)))))) Thinking of you and your mother both and sending you strength, positive energy and peace.
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Offline denb45

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #15 on: April 26, 2012, 10:04:15 am »



 Sorry Will.e.Wump.  :(   mothers are special and you only get one in your entire lifetime, do whatever you have to do for her, and I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you young man  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline pozniceguy

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #16 on: April 26, 2012, 10:29:11 am »
so  sad   Will,  a major  setback  for  both of you.... glad you are able to help with taking her in and arranging care.... lots of  good thoughts and positive energy  coming your way  and a few prayers as well...


Nick
remember the good times...honor the past but don't live there
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Offline LM

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #17 on: April 26, 2012, 10:29:39 am »
I'm sorry, I wish you and your mom much strength.

Offline Joe K

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #18 on: April 26, 2012, 12:05:25 pm »
What horrible news Will, my thoughts are with you and your mom.  We just lost Stephen's mother and the hospice/hospital staff were excellent in helping to set up her house, so she could go home and die.  Take advantage of their offers to help.  I'm also a only child, so I empathize with all the duties falling squarely on your shoulders.

Please remember to take care of yourself as well.

Joe

Offline wolfter

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #19 on: April 26, 2012, 12:25:35 pm »
So sorry to read this.  Stay strong and take care of business.  Your mother is very fortunate to have such a caring son. 

Have you considered contacting veterans organizations?  I know VFW's have inventories of hospice needs equipment that they loan out for free.  It doesn't matter if you have a veteran affiliation or not. 

Take care and best wishes.

Wolfie
Being honest is not wronging others, continuing the dishonesty is.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #20 on: April 26, 2012, 12:26:33 pm »
I am so sorry Mr Wump ,and I am wishing you all the luck I can.Your Mother sounds great,certainly the bit about the fixing you up with the nurse.
michael
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline RAB

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #21 on: April 26, 2012, 01:00:05 pm »
Well crap Wumpster.  This is just awful.  I'll keep you and your mom in my thoughts and prayers.

As others have said make sure you take care of yourself too.

Love and Hugs

RAB

Offline Lugzsoo

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #22 on: April 26, 2012, 02:23:45 pm »
Sorry to hear this hope everything turns out good for you and your mom . God bless you both

Hugs to you both

Offline thunter34

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #23 on: April 26, 2012, 07:32:44 pm »
Hey, Will.  So sorry about your Mother.  Sending love and positive energy your way.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline OneTampa

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #24 on: April 26, 2012, 08:42:39 pm »
Will,

I join everyone in saying that I am sorry to hear of your mother's illness.

I am sure she knows that she has in you a precious son at her side.

Bless you and your mother.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #25 on: April 26, 2012, 09:06:39 pm »
Will -
I am so sorry to hear this.
Please give your mother a big hug from me.
Also, give yourself one too.
I am sure that it means so much to her that you are there for her.
Enjoy every conversation and your time together with her.
If you do go the hospice route - just know that they are truly angels. They have to be some of the most amazing people I have ever met.
Having been through the process with my dad a little over a year ago - I can't speak highly enough about how they made a difficult situation much more bearable.

I will be keep you and your moms in my prayers and my thoughts.
Make sure you also take care of yourself.
Much love to you.

-Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #26 on: April 26, 2012, 11:13:25 pm »
Will,

I'm so sorry to hear this.  Sending you lots of positive energy and keeping you in my thoughts.
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Biktarvy. 
Last regimen:  Atripla (with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline BT65

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #27 on: April 27, 2012, 04:35:19 am »
Willy, this makes me sad.  I'll continue to keep you and your mom in my thoughts and well wishes.  As you know, I helped take care of my mum in her last days with lung cancer.  Not a good way to go (but what is).  Hospice is a tremendous blessing, so getting set up with them is great. 

Please take care of yourself, you're going to need all the strength you can muster!
Much luv,
Betty
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #28 on: April 27, 2012, 06:24:06 am »



   I'm sorry to here of your mother's grim condition.  Having gone through this myself with my own mother I know it's not easy.  No words can make it any better...  hang in there Willy.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #29 on: April 27, 2012, 06:25:58 am »
Christ Wumpy. :(

Matty the Damned doesn't pray but he will keep your mum in his daily anxieties.

MtD

Offline MarkB

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #30 on: April 27, 2012, 04:25:17 pm »
Will

My Mum died from lung cancer: I will be thinking very especially of your mother, and of you, where I am.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #31 on: April 29, 2012, 08:30:48 pm »
Thanks everyone for the kind words and thoughts.

This is tough as SHIT. Mom is now on a rented hospital bed in my living room. She goes from the bed to a recliner, and thats it. I use a wheelchair to take her back and forth to the restroom.

Luckily I have a home health care aAid coming in Mon, weds, fri to bathe and help with grooming.

She fell the other day and I could barely get her up, it's like deadlifting 150 pounds.

I guess she really should be in a facility, but She starts daily radiation tomorrow, and im hoping some of her abilities will return.

Doc and I are going to guage her response to radiation, and then decide on Hospice.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #32 on: April 29, 2012, 09:39:56 pm »
Will, I'm so sorry. I hope things improve.

Offline forrest

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #33 on: April 29, 2012, 10:02:55 pm »
Sorry to hear about this Wil.  It's always tough to know what to say... but thoughts are with you as you go through this difficult time.  Thank goodness she has you! Hang in there!
2011-03-26:  Tested Positive

Date           |VL        |CD4 |4%  |CD8 |8%  |C4:C8
2011-04-06 |48,653 |603 |32.0 |646 |35.0 |0.61
2011-05-23 |64,324 |577 |36.0 |576 |36.0 |1.00
2011-08-02 |18,319 |574 |36.3 |587 |37.2 |0.98
2011-12-06 |10,375 |480 |30.1 |616 |38.7 |0.78
2012-02-22 |  9,674 |570 |33.6 |655 |38.7 |0.87
2012-05-04 |  8,439 |559 |30.4 |706 |38.4 |0.79

Offline buginme2

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #34 on: April 29, 2012, 10:10:59 pm »
Sorry to hear you are having a difficult time.  Your mother is so fortunate to have you as her son.
Don't be fancy, just get dancey

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #35 on: May 13, 2012, 08:04:17 pm »
Hi, So an update of sorts.

I had to make the decision to put mom in Hospice a decision that came with great struggle from within myself. But nevertheless she is in Hospice, in a Care facility (read nursing home). I think this is like her 5th day in the facility, after spending 10 days in the Hospital.

Doing well, already surprising the docs. THey were saying "a couple weeks" a couple weeks ago. and she is still very alert even if somewhat confused.

anyways it's tough.

We celebrated Moms day in the "care facility ::), flowers, fresh Oatmeal Raisin cookies, and Sea Island shrimp House takout for lunch. I got her out of bed and rolled her out to the Rose garden, where there were no roses. There were however several of those big apartment style bird houses that were brimming with birds, which mom took great delight in.

I'm doing well mostly, sometimes its very tough but as we know a good cry really cleanses out the soul.

Nayways my cuz is in town visiting mom so I got the night off and thougt I would see if I could wreak some havoc around here with you people

-Will

« Last Edit: May 13, 2012, 08:06:48 pm by WillyWump »
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
11-6-14 CD4- 871, UD
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #36 on: May 13, 2012, 08:17:16 pm »
I confess I got choked up reading your post, it being Mother's Day. It reminded me of when my mom was in hospice. There is really nothing I can think to say but that you both are in my thoughts.

Offline tednlou2

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #37 on: May 13, 2012, 10:55:23 pm »
This is indeed sad all together, but especially on Mother's Day.  It is good to hear you got to spend some time with Mom today and can also get a little break.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #38 on: May 14, 2012, 09:56:59 am »
Sounds like you and your Mom are doing as well as can be expected in this very difficult situation, Willy.

You can only do your best, angels can do no more.

Hoping that things continue as well as possible for her in the hospice and sending best to you.

Cheers, bud.
Andy Velez

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #39 on: May 14, 2012, 11:20:49 am »
I know she is very happy and lucky to have you there by her side.  Hopefully she will pull through and take on the world.  I wish you all the best and a whole lot of positive energy to you, yours and the world.
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #40 on: May 14, 2012, 01:10:35 pm »
You're a good son, Wumpy -- now return the phone call I just made to you :)
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Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #41 on: May 14, 2012, 05:23:15 pm »
Hi, So an update of sorts.

I had to make the decision to put mom in Hospice a decision that came with great struggle from within myself. But nevertheless she is in Hospice, in a Care facility (read nursing home). I think this is like her 5th day in the facility, after spending 10 days in the Hospital.

Doing well, already surprising the docs. THey were saying "a couple weeks" a couple weeks ago. and she is still very alert even if somewhat confused.

anyways it's tough.

We celebrated Moms day in the "care facility ::), flowers, fresh Oatmeal Raisin cookies, and Sea Island shrimp House takout for lunch. I got her out of bed and rolled her out to the Rose garden, where there were no roses. There were however several of those big apartment style bird houses that were brimming with birds, which mom took great delight in.

I'm doing well mostly, sometimes its very tough but as we know a good cry really cleanses out the soul.

Nayways my cuz is in town visiting mom so I got the night off and thougt I would see if I could wreak some havoc around here with you people

-Will

Brings back memories of when my own mother was in hospice.  As she lay in bed during her last I remember stepping outside and seeing all the cars zoom by on nearby I-95.  It's weird when one's world stops how so much keeps moving.... doesn't seem right.

Anyways, enjoy these moments and try to take every second in.  It will be gone before you know it and all that's left are the sporadic dreams and fond memories.

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Offline OneTampa

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #42 on: May 14, 2012, 07:46:45 pm »
Will,

You and your mother remain in my thoughts.

Take care.
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #43 on: May 15, 2012, 02:52:16 pm »
I just talked to La Wumpella for a good 40 minutes on the phone. He seems to be doing OK all things considered.
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #44 on: May 15, 2012, 03:14:21 pm »
I just talked to La Wumpella for a good 40 minutes on the phone. He seems to be doing OK all things considered.

Thanks for sharing ... Willy , you have been in my thoughts .
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #45 on: May 15, 2012, 04:03:50 pm »
Thanks for sharing ... Willy , you have been in my thoughts .

Willamina said hearing my high pitched nelly voice completely ruined all of his masturbatory fantasies he had of me. You know, a girl's gotta keep it real.
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #46 on: May 15, 2012, 04:08:43 pm »
Willamina said hearing my high pitched nelly voice completely ruined all of his masturbatory fantasies he had of me. You know, a girl's gotta keep it real.

Please ... your voice is all Lauren Bacall from cigs , booze and coke unless its klonny Thursday and then it goes up a couple of octaves . 
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Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #47 on: May 15, 2012, 08:33:35 pm »
my condolences...
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Offline BT65

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #48 on: May 16, 2012, 04:38:30 am »
So sorry to read this, Will, but it seems she's in a good place.  Keep doing what you are, and peace to you and your mom. :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline WillyWump

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Re: Momma Has Taken a Turn for the Worse
« Reply #49 on: May 17, 2012, 09:11:58 pm »
I just talked to La Wumpella for a good 40 minutes on the phone. He seems to be doing OK all things considered.

Yes, I am actually doing pretty good, dealing with the situation better.

What doesnt kill us makes us stronger, and all that. (didnt Jesus say that)

Mom keeps outliving her prognosis, tough old bat. The nurses keep telling her she is in "rehab", so she keeps complaining that no one is rehabbing her. Over the last few days she has shown an improvement in her condition mentally, kind of like she was "getting better", but nurses say it could just be a rally before the end.

We will see.

-W

ps, thanks again for all t he kind words. and yes, Missp voice wreaks of Nelliness and rainbows.
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