Made a mistake!

[athatcher123]

Hi everyone,

Just here for some advice.  Last weekend, I went to  bed with a guy I've known for about 5 or 6 years.  Haven't known him too well, but still do know him and have mutual friends etc.

First of, he claims he hasn't had sex in a year, and got tested and was negative (I asked him three times).  On the third time, he said "For the third and final time, I'm sweet".

Anyway, last Saturday night/early hours of Sunday morning we went to bed. Throughout the night we didn't do anything risky - no penetration, however he did push his penis against my anus.  He did look for a condom (can't remember if I told him to look for one, or if it was of his own accord). Anyway, here's the part the worries me:

I fell asleep for a short time (he said 10 mins max, but he didn't realise, he just thought I'd "gone quiet") but I woke up and he was still fingering me/thrusting penis against my anus.  I tensed to stop it from going in.  I later asked him if we fxxked and he said "no".

Eugh I'm just paranoid! I worry what if he penetrated me during the time I was asleep? We were supposed to go out tonight, but in the end I was too tired from work. We're going out on Monday night for a few drinks (I think he wants to get a bit more serious with me). 

His penis is extremely "fat" so I'm thinking if he had penetrated someone as tight as me (sorry for the graphic-ness) I would have surely had some sign the next morning? I'd like to emphasize he is very "thick".

Either way I'll get tested, but just keep freaking out

Thanks for your time

[RapidRod]

You would have known if he penetrated you when you were asleep.

[Jeff G]

I really do think you would have known if you were penetrated so I a with you doubting that happened , nothing else you mention is a risk for HIV and I did read carefully .
 Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do not need testing at this time for this incident , anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

[athatcher123]

Thank-you Rapid Rod and Jeff for your responses, I appreciate it.

I understand what you're saying that I would have known if he penetrated me (I thought that too), but I felt throughout the night had I not tensed his penis would either have slightly penetrated - or penetrated completely.  It's worth noting I suppose that I've never had sex before (either gave or received), so I'm sure there would have been some sign had he been in.

Ah well, I'll get tested and see how it goes. Thanks once again for letting me vent

[Ann]

at,

Believe me, if you've never had anal intercourse before, you'd certainly know about it the first time, tensed or not. You'd know.

Ann

[athatcher123]

Thanks for your reassurances Ann! It's helped.  I was out with him last night and he assured me he tested etc and I definitely won't have gotten it etc.

But would I definitely have known if he had penetrated me during the period I was asleep? Last post, I promise! 

[Ann]

at,

Believe me, if you've never had anal intercourse before, you'd certainly know about it the first time, tensed or not. You'd know.

Ann

[athatcher123]

Just bought the 7-day subscription. The reason for this is nearly 14 days to the hour after the incident, came down with a fever.  Had to go to bed and woke up the next morning with an aching back (literally felt like someone had beaten me it was that sore).  Took aspirin and paracetamol, which helped although I felt tired and had to go to bed again later for 2 hours.  Then was in bed from 10 last night until 10.30 this morning.  Still feeling feverish, with retro-orbital headache, bad taste in mouth and also woke up with slight sweating. Painkillers seem to help.

Just a bit concerned as this seems too coincidental :/ (ARS)... No-one else in my house has flu or is showing symptoms :/

[Ann]

at,

Believe me, if you've never had anal intercourse before, you'd certainly know about it the first time, tensed or not. You'd know.

Ann

At,

If you cannot bring yourself to believe us that you had NO RISK, go test and collect your inevitable negative result.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned!

Ann