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Author Topic: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker  (Read 6865 times)

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Offline Matty the Damned

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Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« on: April 29, 2010, 07:30:42 am »
No I'm not talking about our Kevinly Father's decision to hike durri taxes by 25% from midnight tonight.

Rising fag taxes are an inexorable fact of life. Matty the Damned can live with that.

What he can't live with is the Self Extinguishing Cigarette.

Oh these things are hateful. They taste revolting. My beloved Winfield Blues



now taste like shredded non-recyclable shopping bag smeared in dog poo and rolled in a dirty football sock. :(

MtD
(Who is off to have a gasper)





Offline Jeff G

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2010, 08:08:53 am »
I was thinking the same thing Matty . Its my fear they are gonna keep adding things to cigarettes so they are not healthy anymore LOL
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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2010, 08:19:46 am »
I was thinking the same thing Matty . Its my fear they are gonna keep adding things to cigarettes so they are not healthy anymore LOL

Monstrous isn't it?

Here I am, a Horny Handed Son of Toil with precious few pleasures in his miserable existence save for his Winnie Blues and the obligatory breakfast vodka.

I accept that Da Man is gonna take his cut through ever increasing tobacco excises.

I have resigned myself to smoking outside in a sweaty huddle with others of My Kind.

I have even adjusted to health fascist gore porn:



blazened across each packet.

But to adulterate the Working Man's only comfort with dangerous chemicals in the name of fire prevention is just not cricket.  >:(

MtD


Offline Jeff G

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #3 on: April 29, 2010, 08:28:24 am »
I'm the lone smoker amongst my friends who have all quit . When they give my shit about it I remind them they are jealous because they have nothing to look forword to every fifteen minutes like I do .

I have answers for every retort ... when they ask when are you gonna quit smoking I say 30 minutes after I am cremated . And when they tell me second hand smoke kills I tell them not fast enough .
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Offline fearless

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #4 on: April 29, 2010, 11:29:42 pm »
And you can kiss that lovely blue pack away too Matty.

Cigarettes in Australia will soon only be available in standardised plain packages;

Be forgiving, be grateful, be optimistic

Offline darkerpozz

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #5 on: May 05, 2010, 01:09:02 am »
someone's palate seems widely experienced in a plethora of items...I am a non smoker and I do agree you smokers are being pushed out in the cold, but here in San Fran they are being denied period just barely. I don't smoke but I feel with all the information out there about smoking and people still can't or won't quit leave them alone.

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #6 on: May 05, 2010, 11:49:49 am »

What he can't live with is the Self Extinguishing Cigarette.

Oh these things are hateful. They taste revolting. My beloved Winfield Blues

now taste like shredded non-recyclable shopping bag smeared in dog poo and rolled in a dirty football sock. :(

MtD
(Who is off to have a gasper)


Oh God, I hope yall keep that self extinguishing crap over there....I enjoy my "burn the house down" versions much to well.

-Will
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #7 on: May 05, 2010, 11:55:13 am »

Oh God, I hope yall keep that self extinguishing crap over there....I enjoy my "burn the house down" versions much to well.

-Will



I think the self extinguishing ones are all you can buy here already or will be soon . I was smoking them a week before I realized it .
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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #8 on: May 05, 2010, 01:30:08 pm »
LMAO@jg1962.....I love your replies....I have tried quitting but started smoking due to be stressed out. I did notice that when I did quit that habit made me want to smoke more than the nicotine. I think the Wellbutrin helped with that.

All of my parents, adopted and biological smoked. They say smoking causes cancer but with my folks the cancer didn't come til once they stopped smoking. I just thought that was weird. And I can't imagine a cigarette that puts itself out.
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Offline BT65

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #9 on: May 05, 2010, 01:31:13 pm »


I think the self extinguishing ones are all you can buy here already or will be soon . I was smoking them a week before I realized it .

Maybe in 'Bama, but not in my god-forsaken area.  Mine still burn, and burn down good.  Maybe other brands are, and not the brand I puff on.  But, I smoke so fast anyway, I probably wouldn't have noticed.  
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Offline Jeff G

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #10 on: May 05, 2010, 02:42:34 pm »
I met a really goodlooking guy a couple of months ago at a friends birthday party .

He pulled me aside and told me he wanted to ask me out on a date but just couldn't handle dating a smoker . I had a few glasses of wine by then and told him to check back with me in a few years because by that time you will be ugly enough that you cant afford to be so damn picky .   
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Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #11 on: May 05, 2010, 03:06:34 pm »
I met a really goodlooking guy a couple of months ago at a friends birthday party .

He pulled me aside and told me he wanted to ask me out on a date but just couldn't handle dating a smoker . I had a few glasses of wine by then and told him to check back with me in a few years because by that time you will be ugly enough that you cant afford to be so damn picky .   

I used to have a pretty open policy on smoking where I would just deal with it.  Now however it's just this huge hassle for those of us who don't smoke.  I'd like to say I'm still open to dating smokers/dippers but I definitely hold it against someone.  Honestly, I'd be trying to figure out a way to get someone to quit if I found the man of my dreams and he smoked.  Slipping chantix into his coffee or something.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #12 on: May 05, 2010, 04:55:54 pm »
I used to have a pretty open policy on smoking where I would just deal with it.  Now however it's just this huge hassle for those of us who don't smoke.  I'd like to say I'm still open to dating smokers/dippers but I definitely hold it against someone.  Honestly, I'd be trying to figure out a way to get someone to quit if I found the man of my dreams and he smoked.  Slipping chantix into his coffee or something.

If I didn't smoke I would feel the same as you . I do not and will not allow smoking in my house because of the smell . I do want to quit .   
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Offline palerider

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #13 on: May 06, 2010, 02:08:14 am »
Now the Aussie Govt. has decided to put the tax on cigarettes up by 2 dollars a pack. They now cost, on average, about sixteen dollars.
And, they will not be allowed to have any recognizable logo on the packet, plain white packet, no branding, and just a health warning.

I gave up 12 years ago, after heavy smoking for 31 years.
I just can't even feel what it would be like to have them back in my life.
If you wanna smoke, go ahead, but boy it's nice not to.
The money I save on smoking, i go on an overseas trip every year.
Next year, Cambodia/Laos.

Offline BT65

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #14 on: May 06, 2010, 04:17:33 am »
Now the Aussie Govt. has decided to put the tax on cigarettes up by 2 dollars a pack. They now cost, on average, about sixteen dollars.

$16 US dollars a pack?!  Wow.  And I think paying $5.76 a pack is terrible.  I know in Chicago, smokes cost around $10/pack. 

I want to quit someday, just not right now.  And I know from past experience, that unless I truly want to, it ain't happenin'.  I've used patches to quit, and Chantix.  The last time I used Chantix, I got pretty aggitated, and had pretty bad anxiety. I didn't get the suicidal stuff, though, that some do with Chantix.  So, when I quit again, I'll probably use the patch.  Or gum; I have a friend who's using the gum and swears by it.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline john33

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #15 on: May 06, 2010, 06:43:32 am »
Bt,
go with the patch, when i tried the gum it was so awful i went back to the ciggies

Offline hudstar

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #16 on: May 08, 2010, 04:18:23 pm »
Just ask your local Asian grocery store for some "under the counter" Chop Chop.
diagnosed 1988
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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #17 on: May 08, 2010, 04:21:28 pm »
Just ask your local Asian grocery store for some "under the counter" Chop Chop.

Yeah but chop-chop is such shit. Blech.

MtD

Offline hudstar

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #18 on: May 08, 2010, 04:43:47 pm »
i never actually heard of it until recently - must write to channel 10 and tell them thanks for the info  ;D
diagnosed 1988
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Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Fuck This for a Bad Joke or The Plight of the Aussie Smoker
« Reply #19 on: May 08, 2010, 05:01:49 pm »
i never actually heard of it until recently - must write to channel 10 and tell them thanks for the info  ;D

. . . and to ask if Ron Wilson will beat Tim Bailey to death.

MtD

 


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