Finding an ob/gyn

[morethanpoz28]

Hello everyone,

I need to find a new ob/gyn and I need help!  Can anyone in the NYC area recommend someone who has a warm bedside manner and is knowledgeable about HIV related issues?  I have been to 2 since my diagnosis in Jan 07 and they left much to be desired.  Feel free to PM me if you feel funny about posting.  I know there are many compentent doctors out there but I rather get recommendations from people who share similar issues.  I have checked with my ID doc as well but the clinic's gyn only comes in once per week and I work.  I dread the whole disclosure process as well.  In my head I know I have nothing to feel ashamed of yet when I have to disclose my status...its like a knife through my heart.  I hope this gets easier!  I need to get an attitude!  Sigh...thanks for your help.

[BeTheLove]

Hello MoreThanPoz,

I don't have the name of any OBGYN's that I could recommend in the NYC area, but I would suggest that you call some HIV specialists in your area (primary physicians who work with HIV patients) and see who they recommend for great OBGYN's.  You could also contact your local HIV services as I'm sure they will have a list of qualified and compassionate people they can direct you to for compassionate treatment. 

In regards to disclosure, it gets easier...I promise.  My first few gyn appointments after testing poz I broke down balling and shaking with my legs in the stirrups and everything.  Not too easy to get a pap smear when you're contracting every muscle in your body having an emotional breakdown.  Having a gyn appointment after testing poz was one of the most humiliating experiences I've had to date.  But not because the gyn wasn't good or compassionate, rather, because I was being my own worst punishing enemy at the time. 

There will come a time when you no longer feel the knife in your heart when disclosing, trust that.  I think you are already on the way to getting that "attitude" you speak of too.  Afterall, you've made a direct point to find a good gyn with a compassionate bedside manner.  That must mean the greater part of you believes that you deserve that--that's attitude building right there!  And you also created a member name "MoreThanPoz" that I would think is an attitude shaper as well.  Damn straight you ARE more than poz!  I'd be more concerned if your member name was "LessThanShit"--than you'd really be going the wrong direction with the attitude piece.

Give yourself credit for the powerful attitude you've already created and surely it will only continue to grow and serve you,
Peace out and within,
BTL