Law of Karma

[lucas clay]

Just sitting here trying to remember.
I must have done some bad $hit to someone in my life.
For the life of me, i cant remember what i did or who i did it to.

                                ( Happiness it staggers on down street)
                                                                                        Lucas

[Ann]

Lucas,

If you really do believe in Karma and have studied it to any extent, then you'd know that it probably has nothing to do with anything you did in THIS life. That's why bad things happen to seemingly good people, and how some really rotten people seem to lead charmed lives (but woe-betide them next time around!). It's how things go according to the laws of Karma.

"Instant Karma" is more a phrase coined by John Lennon than an acknowledged principle of Karma.

Lucas, the trick is to deal with what life throws you with grace and courage, so as to not create more bad Karma for future lives.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx

[cmhjeff]

Mr. Clay,
I often ask myself what did I ever do so bad in life to deserve PML. I worked hard, volunteered many hours and loved my partner and family. It's still hard to accept  at times but maybe it's true bad things just happen to good people. It's easier to think that than it is to believe PML was just Karma for my life.
I truly hope happiness returns to your life.

Hugs

Jeff

[minismom]

Lucas, I wish I could make it all better for you and Nadine.  I'll give the kiddies a big hug and kiss and not tell them who it's from.  When you get that warm feeling, you'll know why.   

Mum

[Iggy]

Lucas,

When things turned really bad for me a summer or two ago, I kept wondering over and over what I had done to the universe to feel so stymied by it.  I still remember the moment when I screamed at the top of my lungs "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?"

I never got an answer - which I think is the answer.  At least it was for me and I hope will help you.

I don't think there is a Karma or some guiding force or anyone/thing that keeps a record book of rights and wrongs and then guides our paths and destiny - outside of ourselves.  I'm not implying that you are punishing yourself btw, only stating that only you CAN punish yourself....just as only you can reward yourself too; everything else is either the crap or joy that happens on its own in this life.

I'm not offering you an answer and I'm not even offering you advice.  I am saying though that I dispute the Law of Karma because even if it exists - it can't hold a candle to other forces such as either self determination, or when that seems questionably in the face of a bunch of(or even one)  insurmountable obstacles, just the willingness of others to be there when you ask for help...Know that my hand is personally extended in anyway possible.

Mark

[sharkdiver]

Here's another story for you Lucas. It might not be Karma, but it was a moment of understanding.

 I call it THE ALIEN POOPMAN STORY

2 months before my partner passed, he was having major bowel issues. I was changing his Depends every 30 minutes. So Much I rarely got any sleep during the night. Plus I was gagging everytime I cleaned him up.

Finally one night, about 3 am I donned my white surgical mask, white latex gloves and only wearing my white briefs, (he laughed and said I looked like an alien) I cleaned him up, cursing the entire time. I went out to the front yard which was pitch black, not bothering to put a robe on.

    While I was swimming in my own self-pity, holding another filled diaper I yelled to god  "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!"   just then....
All of the sensor lights in the front yard went on
Two cars slowly passed by and stopped
I saw a camera flash
The cars sped off

I immediately thought,  "OK ....I get it.... it's not about ME" and I didn't have any issues with changing him anymore

When I went inside, I told him what happened and we both started laughing hysterically. So much I had a tiny "accident"

I think what I'm trying to say is that I learned it wasn't about me and at the same time IT WAS about me.  I needed to let go of my ego
and my attachment to my own suffering, so that I could fulfill my purpose of helping him along.

Sometimes life is the shits, but I'm trying really hard to turn all the crap into fertilizer.

hugs,
Sharkie
(who is still waiting to see if my picture turns up somewhere on the internet)

[leatherman]

THE ALIEN POOPMAN STORY

i'm cleaning spewed cola off my monitors now. Thanks for the story, Sharkie.

[Miss Philicia]

I don't believe in karma, but I'm quite sure that this one queen placed a Santería hex on me in 1997.

[Queen Tokelove]

I don't believe in karma, but I'm quite sure that this one queen placed a Santería hex on me in 1997.

I can only ask, what did you do to piss her off?

[Miss Philicia]

I can only ask, what did you do to piss her off?

Refusing further dates, I assume.  I'm notorious for being a heartbreaker.

Actually there are a couple other potential sources from my Santería hexes.  I totally forgot the Santería priest I tricked with in the South Bronx that I met in an AOL chat room.   *giggle*

[emeraldize]

i'm cleaning spewed cola off my monitors now. Thanks for the story, Sharkie.

Holy Crap Leatherman--You're watching this show on more than one monitor? You on the Mother ship?
Cola spew. That got me going just thinking about you being caught off guard by
Alien Poopman.
Oh how I needed this giggle.

[Snowangel]

Funny story, Sharkie!

Lucas- When I found out I was pregnant with trip  lets in 2002, I was actually getting the pre-abortion ultrasound in a abortion clinic.  The women asked me if I wanted to know anything about my pregnancy which I thought was strange, so I said Yes.  Lo and behold, there were 3.  The reason I was going for the abortion was I was deathly ill.  I had had my older son in 98 and this pregnancy was totally different and I thought something was wrong with the baby due to my disease.  The reason I was so sick was the amount of hormones I had going through my body really did a number on me(plus I had 3 additional people living off me).  I was shocked and scared out of my mind but I left without the abortion. Two weeks later, the trip  lets father just disappeared without a call, a note, a fuck you- whatever, nothing.  Five weeks after that they put me in the hospital for a week for early contractions, they let me go home after a week of begging and pleading that I would stay in bed, I needed to be with my son, I can't get any sleep in the hospital, the food sucks, etc.  I was on full bedrest for 45 days.  45 days of having my mother come to make sure I had food everyday, to take my son outside to play, to go to the store for whatever I needed,. I had nurses come in take care of me and help me wash, people I didn't know stopping by with food.
For the first couple of weeks of complete despair, I laid there and I was saying to myself " Why me?"  I had just started the pill and thought I good to go.  The company I had worked for for 10 yrs had closed down, I was still on un-employment, how the hell can I afford this  by myself.  Where would I get money? I was in a 2 bedroom condo, where would we all live?  I had a little car that sat 5 that would never fit 3 car seats, how would I get around?  I had never heard of anyone pos having triplets would they all be healthy, would I make it to term? How could I physically be able to feed and take care of 3 babies by myself?  When my older son was born he was on meds for the first 6 wks every 12 hrs(if I remember, right) and that was hell for one kid.  How would I be able to do with 3?  you get the idea?  I was putting myself through hell thinking like that.  My mother had brought me some catalogs and one of them had some pillows with sayings on them.  One of the sayings was "  God does not give you anything you can't handle.....I just wish he wouldn't trust me so much." or something along those lines.
So I started thinking I can do this, I will do this, I have to do this...THIS is just what I have to do and it all worked out.  Most of it.  I am not going to lie, it was hardest thing I have ever done.  But I survived and so did my kids.
Try to change the way you look at things and maybe you will see things aren't really as bad as you think.  I wish you the best and I will be thinking of you and yours.  I had gotten a little small worry bead like thing with an angel in it and I rubbed it everyday, it helped me get through on the really rough days.  Want some snail mail ? 
Take care of you,
Snow

[sharkdiver]

Lucas,

how are ya man? just checking in.

Sharkie