to lts

[initforlife]

After reading some of the post of the ones like me who were recently dx . Seems even after  30 some years people still feel as though they were given the plague and some still treat us as if they will still catch it from us.. Did any of y'all think in this many years later that hiv would still have this kind of stigma attached to it? and what do we or can we do to help change it.. I know I want to speak out but for the fear of rejection of my friends and family I find I  can't tell any more then I already  have about my hiv.. Everyday there is more and more that come to this site who are scare and lonely I was one and still am one..  and Thank God for this site.  y'all have kept it real and me somewhat sane these last few weeks . I could not even image what it was like for y'all some many years ago. and thinking about that brings tears to my eyes  Thanks again for all   y'all do to help us!

[Mrmojorisin]

 I think the best way to end the stigma attached to HIV is #1. Education. People fear what they do not understand. #2. For as many of us that can to be out about it. This is a complicated issue. Some see others who have been convicted of crimes on the sole basis of having HIV. Even today there are those who have been kicked out of schools and work places because they are positive.  That keeps some from being public, which in turn, in a small way, reinforces the false assumptions.

[harleymc]

I had a good belly laugh about the idea that early in the pandemic the long term survivors like myself were in any way interrested whether there would still be stigma more than 30 years on. We battled stigma at the time as best we could but were not concerned with long time scales.
At the time we were all very busy trying to stay alive and to support our brothers and sisters who were also very sick.

[BT65]

To be honest, I think perceptions about HIV have improved some over the years.  There is just so much more known about the virus, there are many more public educational programs available through ASO's, health departments etc., and I believe the younger generation does not hold such stoic beliefs that perpetuated stigmas surrounding HIV.  I know when I've done education in the local high schools, the students are very receptive.  Different today than when I used to do education in universities years ago, and other public organizations.

However I know it still exists.  Especially within certain demographics.  When I worked at the local ASO, our African clients were very, very private about their status.  They wouldn't even share it with their pastors for fear of being ostracized.  And we had a mother and daughter who were both positive, where the mother knew about the daughter's status, but the daughter had no idea about the mother. 

I've always been out about my status, though the last place I rented, only a couple neighbors knew my status.  This was due to the other renters in my building being a little behind the times, not educated, red-necky (is that a word), and knew they would not understand.  Which, had it been just me wouldn't have bothered me, but I have grandchildren who visit and did not want them to have to live with any prejudice, incorrect ideas etc. 

I agree with Morrison, that education and actually knowing real people who are HIV+, helps erase stigma with those who are HIV-.  For instance, my mother and father were married in the Catholic church, then my mom converted to Seventh-Day Adventism.  So she was homophobic.  However, after me testing positive, and her meeting my gay HIV+ friends, the homophobia fast faded; because she actually met real people who were gay, thus smashing preconceived stereotypes and judgments.  And when people meet me and are open-minded, whatever ideas they may have had about HIV that were incorrect, quickly change.

Knowing correct info about the virus usually equals fading stigma.  That's my idea anyway.

Betty

[mecch]

Hmm, initforlife, I wonder if your experience is determined somewhat by a mix of your own ideas and the culture that surrounds you.
When I got HIV about 6 years ago I told all my Swiss friends who were kind and helpful about it at first when I needed it and now its basically a non-issue.
Second, about 10 years ago my bf got HIV (when I was neg and no he didn't transmit to me).  One time I was home talking to my sister in NY and shes in human services. I was very upset and taking it hard and my sis was quite chilled about the medical aspects and tried to dedramatize the whole thing and said there was great treatment and I had to stop being such an emotional mess and think about the basic facts...

[initforlife]

I know I feel the way I do about hiv is due to the fact where I live. I'm ashamed I have worked in health care for 30 years and really didn't know much about Hiv, How sad is that?  It wasn't till I got it that I started to learn more and more about how you transfer(not sure that's the word I want to use) from one to another other then sex . I know I can not tell anyone one in this area. as I told my sister who I'm very close to and she acted in such a way I was in shock at her response and action . and it prove to me We are way behind the times in this area. I know not many have it here it is more in the cities. I want to scream sometimes I have hiv and it is not as bad as yall think.. but that would be death to me in this area. I just can't image how all y'all dealt with all that and trying to live to.. I wish I was brave enough to face everyone with the truth. but I just can't! maybe in time?

[wolfter]

You've asked, so I'll oblige.     Whenever I hear or read about stigma, I immediately wonder about the person feeling it.  Ask yourself a couple of heart felt questions; what were your true impressions and/or stereotypes of people living with HIV/AIDS?  What did you do to assist in this battle before it affected you personally? 

A true lack of empathy compounds perceived notions of stigma.  It's also not just for HIV.  Human kind has a way of stigmatizing anyone who differs from themselves.  Perhaps I don't notice stigma because I learned a long time ago that it's not about me but rather their ignorance. 

My advice?  Refuse to accept and more importantly, refuse to own it.  Stigma ends on a local level.  We've seen it with politician and such who suddenly embrace homosexuality after a loved one "comes out".  I single handedly brought my closest family members out of the dark ages.

Even ridding the stigma of being gay was huge in my family.  It took all my strength to finally tell my beloved family members that I was willing to live the rest of my life without them if they couldn't accept the basic facets of my life.  My mother never referred to Bill as anything other than my "room mate".  But she truly came to love and adore him. 

And a funny thing happened on our journey over the colorful rainbow; the younger generation didn't have to deal with that fear.  Hell, my young gay nephew is now the greatest thing since sliced bread. 

wolfie

[initforlife]

Wolfter, to be honest I never really thought about hiv/aids before now. I'm afraid I was one of those people who thought that would never happen to me.  So no I have not  done anything for hiv/aids .. No I don't judge people never have. just never thought about it is all!   So I'm here learning and asking questions about a virus I knew nothing about before march of this year.. Yes I'm new here and I may be judge for asking stuff but I truly want to know how people feel and deal with this virus.. I have had a rough time it is getting better. just being here on this site helps, knowing I'm not alone in my feelings, and fears and lots of tears!

[mecch]

Where are you. Inquiring minds want to know... USA? what region? rural? small town?

[initforlife]

I'm in a rural area in  Missouri