POZ Community Forums
HIV Prevention and Testing => Do I Have HIV? => Topic started by: Idiot Raja on September 21, 2012, 11:41:52 pm
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Iam an Indianfrom New Delhi . My Name is Harsh . Boss Iam terribly worried and scared to death . Since May this years to July I think I had sex with 5 or 6 sex workers in New Delhi and paid then around 1000 to 2000 rupees. I didnt go to Gb road coz iam so worried about HIV aids but since iam aingle and 28 years old I couldnt control my sexual feelings for women and i was fed up of masturbating really. I am so worried abt hiv that not only did I have sex with either durex or man force condoms I even used condoms for blowjob and if only 1 condom was there i wouldnt go for blowjob . Yaar I never sucked breast also just coz of fear their milk might infect me . Also . I never licked their vagina for fluids. Now iam worried coz I had chest infection and severe fever two weeks back and Iam alright now but I have lost weight and also weakness coz of fever . Iam so worried what if I caught HIV and I might have fever again . Iam not sure if the condom broke coz I never even ejaculated inside any of the sws. Also I was reasonably drunk. Yaar Iam fearing to get married coz I dont want to pass my infection in my would be wife and my would be kids. Please help me my parents think Iam a very innocent boy and when they will come to know about my HIV status they will die before I do . Please iam so regretting I hate myself now and Iam complaing to God why he gave me a penis to get disease from those ***** unclean sex workers, I wanna commit suicide and chop off my penis forever. Kindly tell me how can i die peacefully coz i dont wanna die with the pain of AIDS. Even while writting this Iam crying . OH WHY DID I HAVE SEX EVEN WITH CONDOM SHAME ON ME IAM THE MOST BIGGEST ******* ON THE EARTH . I dont have courage to go for test If I have HIV positive test I will collapse right their and die .
edited by Ann to change thread title
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Raja,
I removed your post from the thread where you originally posted it in the Living forum and I also removed another post you left in the Living forum. As someone who has not tested hiv positive, you are only permitted to post here in the Am I Infected forum.
If you read the Welcome Thread (http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=220.0) before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:
With the exception of the “Am I Infected?” and “Off Topic” Forums, the AIDSmeds.com Forums are intended for people who have been diagnosed with HIV (or their loved ones/caregivers). If you are questioning or unaware of your HIV status, please refrain from posting messages or questions in the Forums intended for HIV-positive people.
Please consider yourself warned!
All this drama for nothing. You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.
There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.
You have NOT had a risk and you do NOT need to test unless it's part of a yearly sexual health check up that you should be getting as a matter of routine.
Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:
You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.
To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.
Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.
ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST FOR HIV SPECIFICALLY OVER PROTECTED INTERCOURSE OR GETTING BLOWJOBS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.
If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.
Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv. Some of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.
Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!
Ann
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Hi ANN
Kindly Pls try to put urself in my situation. Iam visiting washrooms every 5 mins to check my whole body Whether I have a blister on my penis or in my anus. Offcourse I know that I do have sexual feelings for women coz iam not yet married . But iam afraid of HIV and I do drink only two bottles of beer . What If the vaginal fluids comes out and penetrates the condom and gets into my urethra . Iam checking symtops every time and thinking that very soon iam gonna fall sick . Iam not able to concentrate on my job . Even im seeing dreams that i visites a sex clinic and the nurse said we r sorry ur hiv positive. Oh my god Iam cheking my weight evry 1 hour and also my fever. Sometimes my mind says when i was drunk did i fogot to use the condom and sometimes I think but I never felt the skin to skin touch . ANN as a godly and brave woman pls help me . HIV anxiety is killing me Iam visiting churches and temples to pray to god pls save me . I have been a blood donor and my reports have been non reactive untill april 2012. what is the second report comes reactive oh my god pls help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :-[
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How in the world can we help you? We have told you that you did not have a risk.
Your fears sound absolutely awful. Perhaps there is a professional counselor or therapist you can see. There are very effective therapies for overcoming this sort of irrational fear. It will take time, of course, and a real commitment to getting better. But I certainly hope that you try.
Life is too short to spend it in terror.
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Hello Sir,
I certainly understand. But kindly understand its a life treatening disease. And specially the one you get from ur own sinful deeds. Now i regrett why I couldnt control my stupid lust for those pathetic sluts. I called the owner of those fsws yesterday to check if those girls are still alive whom i penetrated and the owner replied that they have shifted to a new area where they r paid more . I think he is simply lying they all must have got hiv and the owner also. Whoso ever has sex with prostitues ends up in this disease.
Sir kindly i need ur help at this moment , I think I will be fired soon from my job as i cant concentrate on my work and my parents think I have gone crazy. What if I start falling sick and getting low grade fever . Iam pressing my throat hard and armpits to check if they r swollen. Even a sneeze kills me . I Keep pressing me penis every min to check if it has got some infection and anus for herpes.
I promise I will never have sex again in my life . Oh my God help me . Whenever I see the movies on HIV postive ppl on youtube in horrifies to an extend that i start sweating and lose my sleep. Sir Please help me , Iam emotionally very disturbed and I look myself into mirror and see that this guy is POZ. OH my god help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Please for god sake. :-[ Your guys are so god fearing and down to earth kindly do something for me . Somtimes I think what if I have tuberculosis or may be pneumonia and then death.
Iam sorry If i hurt you kindly forgive me . But Iam in a bad shape. Where should I go. Sorrryyyyyyyyyyy to every human being on this earth.
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You want to know what's also a sinful deed?
Judging other people.
I'm outta here. Best of luck with that whole slut problem.