JR Ewing Or Good Guy

[joyluckclub]

I just feel like people can use me and then when I need something, oopps, can't do it.

I think I have this dark side, the kind of one focus, one ambition to get what I want and forget others.

I've made huge efforts not to let that side see the light of day.

The last six years has given me a different viewpoint.

I felt abandoned, alone, and used.

I'm in a much better place now. I just prefer not to be used again.

Anybody have some suggestions? Any thoughts?   

[mecch]

Your first sentence is about how you can't rely on other people when the chips are down.  So you feel USED BY THEM.

Second sentence, you seem to be saying that you have a dark side, and that YOU USE PEOPLE.   Or, I don't understand:  "Get what I want and forget others."  Pursue your needs and ambitions and forget other people?  Or forget other needs and ambitions???

Nobody likes to feel used, that's for sure.  Real friends, or lovers, boyfriends or girlfriends, who finally have a bust up and someone feels used.  Often it takes two to tango.  I think the only thing to do is live and learn.  Protect your boundaries as you go through friendships and relationships.  Accept that sometimes we use each other a bit, for whatever reason, and its not always nice but its not always out of meanness or cruelty or selfishness.  So forgive... But don't forget...

I do think there are some people who are born more generous. More respectful.  More selfish.  Or more taker, than giver.  Its just like that.  All takers are not horrible mean people, but the rest of us have to keep our guard up around them, that's for sure.

[joyluckclub]

Mecch,

Thank you for your comments.  The response makes sense to me!

[mecch]

Yeah. Of course its easier to say it and maybe know it, than to feel it.  Horrible feeling, to feel used.  Except in certain kinky situations 

[joyluckclub]

LMBO....very good point.