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Author Topic: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...  (Read 17618 times)

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Dan J.

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I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« on: March 03, 2008, 01:24:32 pm »
Life sucks at the moment. Herman & I are no longer "together". I question if we ever really were. He is a good friend & I'm glad we had what time we did have, but all that is over now.

More bad news

I am being kicked off TennCare & Medicare refuses to pay for my hospital bill from my scrotum fiasco in November-December.  That bill is over $80,000.00. I am loosing QMB that covers my Medicare Part B premiums & helps with doctor visit co-pays etc. Now that I have to adjust my monthly budget & have to pay the $86.00 a month for my Part B insurance . Now I don't have the $ to pay for my drug co-pays when I get my refills every month. SSDI only goes so far, but the way things are going I am probably going to loose that too.

I have been trying to find a part time job to make up the difference, but I am not having any luck. I reopened my Vocational Rehab case in March of 2006. I am still waiting...  I am almost at the point of going up to that woman's office and going off on her. I call her multiple times a week & I always get her voice mail.

As each day goes by and a new obstacle presents itself I feel myself becoming more and more disconnected with the world around me.

Sorry for the down post, but I had to get this out somewhere...

I will go back into my hole now.

Dan
 >:(

Offline 27years

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2008, 03:18:53 pm »
You are not alone I do have days i feel like its one problem after the other but at the end of the day life goes on and things get better with time.  Just take a day at a time things will be fine.
Nobody dies a virgin life screws us all up

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2008, 03:48:39 pm »
Oh dear Dan, why are you being kicked off TennCare?  And why is Medicare refusing to pay your hospital bill?  That doesn't make sense.  It sounds like you need to contact someone at your ASO who can make sense of it.  My thoughts are with you, sweetie.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2008, 06:13:28 pm »
I am being kicked off TennCare and loosing QMB because I live with my parents and they refuse to provide information on how much they pay for utilities, phone, groceries etc...

They also refused to provide that information with my local ASO, so I am no longer a client of West TN Legal Services.

Medicare has refused to pay all of my hospital bills for most of last year.

I've decided to stop meds, get sick, & go into hospice. I have already discussed my decision with my hiv doc. He isn't happy about what I am going to do, but it's my choice.

Offline VM-Bass

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2008, 06:18:14 pm »
You are in my thoughts and prayers.  Please don't lose hope...
1/11/08                  4/14/08         6/12/08

CD4: 927                    838               883
CD4%: 42                    40                 47
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Offline AlanBama

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2008, 06:28:24 pm »
Dan,

I'm so sorry to hear this sad news.   My heart goes out to you, honey.   

Keeping you in my prayers.....

Hugs,

Alan  :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Jody

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2008, 07:59:46 pm »
Dear Dan...You have been in a bad way before, life has certainly shown its ups and downs to you in living color, no doubt about that.

But don't give up, plug away...Can't you talk to your parents about divulging this simple info, is there some reason for their not wanting to provide it?

Go to the ASO in person (don't just call) and sit there calmly but firmly (don't lose your temper but don't lose your perseverance either) and get answers and results.

Good luck Dan, hang in there, and keep us posted.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
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Grateful Dead

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2008, 08:38:09 pm »
Dan, I understand you're in a very bad place, but please, please don't stop fighting.  There's got to be an answer to this.  I'm keeping you in my thoughts, definitely. :-*
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2008, 09:04:33 pm »
Dan---

I am sorry to hear that you are going through such hell at this time. Different scenario but I have been there and no how it is to feel like there is no hope. I am sorry to hear that you and Hermie have split up, I know you are hurting about that but at least you are still friends and no bad feelings. I wish I could take that hurt away.

Please don't stop taking your meds and try to live just one day at a time. I am worried about you..
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

Offline minismom

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2008, 09:55:50 pm »
Dan your post has put such a burden on my heart for you.  I'm sorry that things aren't going well for you right now.  I wish, like Queen, that i could take away all the bad stuff.  I wish I could say something that will make it all better. Just know that our prayers and thoughts are with you.  Please don't stop you meds.  There has to be a way...there just has to be.

Mum
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Offline Teresa

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2008, 10:05:07 pm »
Dan,

Im so sorry you are going through this. I hope your parents give them all the info so you can continue with your benefits. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs
Teresa
Hubby HIV+ 5/5/06
CD4:320
  %: 26.7
 VL: <20
Atripla (started it 8/24/06)

Offline komnaes

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2008, 11:03:22 pm »
Hey Dan, this got me really worried... :-[

The last time we chat you sounded really cheerful and upbeat.. and that wasn't so long ago, 2 months?

Of course your doctor wouldn't allow that sort of talks about letting yourself to get sick. Is the problem more complicated than it sounds (i.e. your parents refused to provide some seemingly easy information like utility bills)?

I really hope you could find a way out of this soon!

Big hugs baby... Shaun
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Offline edfu

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2008, 11:30:09 pm »
Terrible news.  My heart goes out to you.  But I don't understand...why is Medicare refusing to pay???
"No one will ever be free so long as there are pestilences."--Albert Camus, "The Plague"

"Mankind can never be free until the last brick in the last church falls on the head of the last priest."--Voltaire

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2008, 11:30:22 pm »
Said a prayer for you. Y'know, sometimes to me it seems what's 10 x more stressful than the meds themselves is the question of "How am I going to get my meds without complete bankruptcy?" It's like a catch 22. I feel for you big time. I can only imagine that so many others suffer in silence, for example people without computers. Hopefully the new president can make much needed changes to our country. {{{Hug}}}

Offline Snowangel

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #14 on: March 03, 2008, 11:31:08 pm »
Dan-
I am sorry to hear you are having such a hard time and you and Herman parted ways.  Do you have any friends and family that do not live in TN,that you could go live with?  I might be wrong in thinking this, but aren't some states easier to get health insurance through so that you could stay on your meds.  Do what you have to take care of yourself.  I hated to do it but I HAD to file bankruptcy last year, I am on disability too and was killing myself trying to pay all my bills.  It's time to come out of your hole and talk to as many people as you can, as my grandfather used to say, "There is more than one way to skin a cat"  Get as many ideas as you can, so you can work through this.  Please try to stay strong!  My best to you.
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

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Offline Longislander

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2008, 12:00:20 am »
wow Dan, sorry to hear about your latest troubles. I hope you can find a way out of this. Maybe a call to your congressman/senator/someone?
I can't imagine why a state like Tenn, or the fed gov't would consider an adult mans parents income/expenses in any way, just because he lives in their home.  If you lived with a roomate, they check their finances as well??

I wish you the best
Paul
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline Jeffreyj

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2008, 01:11:55 am »
I question if we ever really were


I don't understand this comment??? All of those trips, all of those stories....WTF?
Positive since 1985

Offline Jerry71

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #17 on: March 04, 2008, 01:12:02 am »
Dan sorry to hear about you and Herman. You better take those meds or I will have too make a special trip down to see you! :o

Offline lucas clay

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #18 on: March 04, 2008, 03:35:15 am »
Dan
i hope you rethink this, i don't have the meds problem. But i am going thru the other.
It will make you want to give up, but you can work through this.
The red tape with the state can be worked out.
The broken heart, hell when i come up with the answer ill let you know.
I am thinking of you  buddy.
praying for you also.

                                          Lucas

Offline dixieman

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #19 on: March 04, 2008, 12:47:33 pm »
Dan, I'm sorry to hear about your news... I'm not sure how Tn works for people on ssdi and all but, I'll check with friends to see what you can do... but, please do not give up! John

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #20 on: March 04, 2008, 01:22:47 pm »
I can't imagine why a state like Tenn, or the fed gov't would consider an adult mans parents income/expenses in any way, just because he lives in their home.  If you lived with a roomate, they check their finances as well??

Hi Paul. In agency lingo it's called "in-kind services" or something like that. It's a flawed and cold and pass-the-buck premise which doesn't ask that maybe just maybe a gay son that lives with his parents might have a volatile relationship with them. As if to say "Well if you live together then you must be the Waltons or the Partridge family." Ha, what a crock. Let's say I help a lady carry a baby carriage up a flight of steps- well, it doesn't mean I'm going to buy her a box of baby formula and daipers too. Um, not the best analogy but you get the point.

To Dan: I would just say you have an extremely volatile relationship with your folks and they've made their decision not to disclose their personal info and further persistance on your part will result in you getting thrown out of the house. Sometimes you have to spice it up a little.

Offline StrongGuy

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #21 on: March 04, 2008, 02:29:20 pm »
I don't have much experience with Medicare other than what I've read and heard, but I hope thingsworks out and get you toe  abetter place. The bureacracy and BS that goes with these systems is an outrage.

Wishing you well...

Mike
"Get your medical advice from Doctors or medical professionals who you trust and know your history."

"Beware of the fortune teller doom and gloomers who seek to bring you down and are only looking for company, purpose and validation - not your best physical/mental interests."

"You know you all are saying that this is incurable. When the real thing you should be saying is it's not curable at the present time' because as we know, the great strides we've made in medicine." - Elizabeth Edwards

Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #22 on: March 04, 2008, 02:30:48 pm »
Herman & I are on good terms with one another. We didn't have a falling out or anything. We both realized that there is no way that I can afford to go live there on what little $ I get from SSDI every month. & He can't come live in the U.S.A. I had to move on with my own life here in the U.S. He will always be an important person to me & I will always love him. He knows that.

My parents will not give me the info I need to fill out all these forms completely and correctly. I am NOT going to ask them again. Me asking for the info causes arguments. I have gone through this with them every year since I became disabled in 2003 this year they absolutely refuse to divulge that info.

I'm tired of fighting with them over everything & I really mean everything.  It has gotten to the point that during the day when they are at work I stay home until they off . As soon as they are home ,I leave.  & I don't come back until they are in bed for the night. If they are off for the day, I am gone all day.

I have an hiv doc appointment today at 1:40 PM. I don't want to go and here him bitch at me. He doesn't live with this disease inside his body, I do.

If I have to live the rest of my life broke with nothing to do everyday then I would rather be dead.

Offline bear60

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #23 on: March 04, 2008, 02:46:30 pm »
Dear Dan
I am so glad you came back to respond to all the people who care about you! Talking about your problems is a start.
I am thinking of you!!!
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #24 on: March 04, 2008, 08:26:10 pm »
Dan, I hope you can find a resolution to this.  Don't give up.  Thinking of you........
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Iggy

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #25 on: March 04, 2008, 10:06:15 pm »
I will go back into my hole now.

Like hell, you will.

Dan,

While I admit sadness that you and Herman could not make it work, I know as you already said it is more about practical reasons than personal.

As far as what is going on in regards to finances - I have no practical advice, but you know you have friends here and we care.

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #26 on: March 05, 2008, 06:53:33 am »
Dan, what about getting your meds from the drug companies.  They usually offer assistance like that.  I wouldn't worry about the hospital bill.  I've had several unpaid medical bills in the past; they know how to write things off.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline bear60

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #27 on: March 05, 2008, 08:34:33 am »
Dan
I'm still trying to figure out what information your parents wont give up so that you can't fill out the forms. My guess is income.
I dont remember that Kurt had to have anything from his parents when he filed....why is it necessary to have your parents involved?  My guess again: you live with them. or what?
Joel
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #28 on: March 05, 2008, 11:43:05 am »
Dan
I'm still trying to figure out what information your parents wont give up so that you can't fill out the forms. My guess is income.
I dont remember that Kurt had to have anything from his parents when he filed....why is it necessary to have your parents involved?  My guess again: you live with them. or what?
Joel

Yes Joel, Dan stated earlier that he lives with them.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #29 on: March 06, 2008, 04:03:57 pm »
I had my meeting with my DHS worker. Since my parents did not provide th e information that they required I lost my QMB assistance for the Medicare Part B premium. I will now have to find someway to pay the 96.00 a month premium. That seriously cuts into the copays for my prescriptions. I don't know where I am going to find a way to pay for both. My med co pays are 44.60 s month.

I am pissed off to say the least.  Once I run out of my "stockpile" of current meds I will be in serious trouble to be able to afford both. So, when I run out of the meds I have there won't be anymore refills.

My case worker told me that living at home hurts me as far as assistance goes and strongly encouraged me to try and move out on my own. I can't afford to pay rent/ utilities and maintain a car payment. I am looking into selling the car & trying to find something cheaper to drive. Where I live you have to have a car or you walk everywhere, I quess I'll be hoofin' it if I want to go anywhere.

I've been off meds a week and can already feel the effects it is having on my health. Nght sweats, headaches and just feeling tired all the time. I am prepared for the outcome.

It's' been nice knowing all of you,

Dan
« Last Edit: March 06, 2008, 04:10:56 pm by Dan J. »

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #30 on: March 06, 2008, 04:14:58 pm »
I had my meeting with my DHS worker. Since my parents did not provide th e information that they required I lost my QMB assistance for the Medicare Part B premium. I will now have to find someway to pay the 96.00 a month premium. That seriously cuts into the copays for my prescriptions. I don't know where I am going to find a way to pay for both. My med co pays are 44.60 s month.

I am pissed off to say the least.  Once I run out of my "stockpile" of current meds I will be in serious trouble to be able to afford both. So, when I run out of the meds I have there won't be anymore refills.

You're on disability, right?  I dunno about TN, but here in GA you can still collect that in full even if you earn up to about $12k a year (I think).  You were working from home before and having trouble with all that and payments and stuff...has anything happened on the work front since then?  I recognize that HIV / AIDS can throw a serious wrecking ball to anyone's "career" track...I know this personally.  But I wouldn't think it would be that difficult to find some form of PT work that could drum up $96 a month or less, right?  Heck, spring is almost here.  You can mow a lawn or two and manage that much.  It sucks,  but what can ya do?  To forego simply doing a little something to come up with that shortage of funds in favor of just saying, "Fuck it all.  I'll just stop taking my pills and DIE!  That'll learn everybody a thing or two!" is just lame. 
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #31 on: March 06, 2008, 04:19:14 pm »
PS:  Still don't understand what your folks' issue is/was with providing that needed information.  Is it possible they were trying to give you a hard "push" to get you going on something?  I say this because I know how depression operates and it can shut you down big time.  Sometimes the only thing that can pry you out of its grip is the force of dire necessity.
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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #32 on: March 06, 2008, 04:23:28 pm »
Timmy,

I don't work from home for the law firm anymore. I look for something everday, have put in countless job applications from everything fom retail to office positions. I don't hear anything from any of them. My hope is to find something soon, but I am becoming very disappointed that no one seems to want to hire someone part time.

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #33 on: March 06, 2008, 04:36:56 pm »
Timmy,

I don't work from home for the law firm anymore. I look for something everday, have put in countless job applications from everything fom retail to office positions. I don't hear anything from any of them. My hope is to find something soon, but I am becoming very disappointed that no one seems to want to hire someone part time.

Which is why you may have to initiate a Plan B.  Print up a flyer or two and offer up some mowing or something.  You like cars - how about car washing?  Anything like that on a Saturday may be enough to keep the ball rolling. 

And look:  I'm not saying this to be mean to you or anything, but I gotta say...

When I consider people like Christine who we've lost and now Kate who is valiantly struggling to stay with us, it's more than a little offensive to listen to somebody respond to "hurdles" like this that pale in comparison with "I'll just give up and die."

This forum is for support, but not coddling.
« Last Edit: March 06, 2008, 04:38:34 pm by thunter34 »
AIDS isn't for sissies.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #34 on: March 06, 2008, 04:50:17 pm »
I am not asking to be coddled. Just stating what I am having to deal with at this time. You have to have a lawn mower to mow a yard & I don't have one, nor can afford to go out and buy one.

Sorry if I offened you.


Won't post anymore because I don't want to upset anyone.

Bye,

Dan

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #35 on: March 06, 2008, 05:04:53 pm »
I am not asking to be coddled. Just stating what I am having to deal with at this time. You have to have a lawn mower to mow a yard & I don't have one, nor can afford to go out and buy one.

Sorry if I offened you.


Won't post anymore because I don't want to upset anyone.

Bye,

Dan

*sigh*  Drama.  Look...post away.  Whatever my feelings are the subject, I am a Big Boy and can handle it and move on.  I'm just trying to give you a little shake, Dan.  You don't have a lawn mower?  Don't your parents have one?  I'm hard pressed to believe they wouldn't let you use one in the name of drumming up some money to afford medical needs.  I mean, they do support you otherwise...letting you live there and all, so they can't be all that unsympathetic to your needs.

Unless, of course, they don't have a lawnmower and have their lawn taken care of by a service.  In which case, you must live in some pretty decent digs there with them.  Most people who can afford such services live in pretty nice houses.  Is that the case with you?  Do they have one, or do they get their lawn done through a service themselves?

In any case, you side-stepped my other option:  Washing cars.  You don't need anything for that but some rags and some washing stuff.  And that is not out of your reach, Dan.

And this "I'll not post anymore...goodbye" crap is just another way of saying:

"Never mind....just forget it....I'll run off and die now.  Don't think about me.  It doesn't matter."

It's more of that pity mess, Dan.  And I'm not going to let you get away with it.  I'm not doing you wrong, I'm doing you a favor.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #36 on: March 06, 2008, 05:12:58 pm »
I know what your trying to do and I appreciate it. Sorry, for bing on the pity pot at the moment. A solution will be present itself somehow, someway.

We have a very, very old lawn mower. Hopefully my Dad will by a new one sometime this summer. Maybe he will let me use it. It's kind of cold to wash cars at the moment, so I will need to wait until the weather is a little warmer.

I really appreciate your input.

Love Ya YTP!

Dan

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #37 on: March 06, 2008, 05:32:04 pm »
A solution will be present itself somehow, someway.


There we go.

 :)

By all means, continue with your thread here...just try to direct it from that perspective as best you can.


I know depression, kiddo.  We had this discussion in SF.  And I know how it can leap on things like this instantly and try to drag you down into all out surrender mode.  There ain't nothing I said above that didn't come from personal experience.

 :-*


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Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #38 on: March 06, 2008, 06:07:38 pm »
Dan, what about getting in touch with the drug companies about the patient assistance programs, where you would probably qualify for free meds from them?

Look, I've suffered from the 'I want to die' thing.  But I found out, if I try hard enough, things work out.  Of course, I have to try. 

Good luck to you.
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Offline bear60

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #39 on: March 07, 2008, 08:52:41 am »
I find it difficult to understand why your parents would.....by denying you necessary information....prevent you from getting medications that you need to survive.
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #40 on: March 07, 2008, 10:46:03 am »
My first thought was exactly what Timberly touched on -- they want him to move to his own place.  Not sure if this is truly the case, but it was my first thought.
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Offline Robert

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #41 on: March 07, 2008, 11:07:44 am »
Dan

I remember one day in SF you, Herman and I were walking down Powell St, back to the hotel.  Some car turned in front of us, just as we were stepping off the curb.  Instead of flipping them off (which would have been my natural reaction), you started telling us all about the car: the make, the model, the year,  engine specs etc.  Everything.  I was so impressed. 

With your knowledge I would think a car dealer would hire you in 2 seconds.   The one thing I've noticed about car dealers is that they either hire family or people who don't know shit (actually, they're both the same, aren't they?). 

anyway, give a car dealer a shot.  What have you got to lose?

robert
..........

Offline BlueMoon

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #42 on: March 08, 2008, 08:57:17 pm »
Anyone with a reliable car that's not too bad on gas should be able to make a couple hundred bucks a week delivering pizza a few nights.
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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #43 on: March 10, 2008, 12:27:47 am »
Anyone with a reliable car that's not too bad on gas should be able to make a couple hundred bucks a week delivering pizza a few nights.

My car insurance will not allow me to deliver pizzas with the coverage that I have. Besides I wrecked my Civic in the snow storm we had Friday evening. They had to tow it away. I don't know how I am going to come up with the deducible to pay to have the car fixed. As far as I am concerned Honda Finacial Services can come pick the damn thing up.

I have enough credit on my mastercard to purchase a plane ticket to Brussels. I want to be with Herman. I miss him very, very much. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. & Damnit I am going to find a way for the two of us to LIVE together.

Offline LordBerners

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #44 on: March 10, 2008, 06:40:33 am »
What the f**k is wrong with your parents??   Refusing to provide that information is idiotic.

You should remind them every day at the dinner table that they're killing their son.
Please, just call me Berners.. or Baron.

Offline Dragonette

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #45 on: March 10, 2008, 07:10:33 am »
What the f**k is wrong with your parents??   Refusing to provide that information is idiotic.

You should remind them every day at the dinner table that they're killing their son.

Wanted to to write you the same thing Dan... I don't get it. Don't they ever need your help with anything, and won't they need it more over time? And Goddamit how could they be so heartless?

Maybe you should work on that dispute, if it's possible to reverse the canbcellation of the benefits, even with someone from the ASO as mediator btw you & them? Or what if you write a guesstimation of the household costs? Are they really going to check it 1/1?

Wishing you the best Dan, I hate to think of you off meds, you were so lively (and good lookin') when I saw you in A'dam, and that was so close to your bout with the infection at the hospital. You've been thru so much and survived so well, it doesn't bear thinking that you give up b/c of a collaboration btw backward parents and an evil system. There is so much going for you...

Besides as other have pointed the costs of meds are not at the level that you should give up completely on finding a way to pay them. Hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel, however dim it is now 
"If you keep one foot in yesterday, and one in tomorrow, you piss all over today". Betty Tacy

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #46 on: March 10, 2008, 10:45:35 am »
I could just about hurl.

Talk about enabling.  Jesus H. Christ on a Popsicle stick.  You can't deliver pizzas because you don't have the right insurance package?  Now I've heard everything.  An excuse for every occasion.  You don't want solutions, Dan.  You just want a pity party.  And folks here seem to be willing to give it to you in spades. 

Take that last little bit of credit, get the appropriate insurance for your car, deliver the pizzas, save some money for meds and your next trip to Belgium. 

There.  Problem solved.

(Although I'm sure the next round of "but, but, but's..." will be coming along shortly.)

It really takes the cake.  You're gonna sit here and blame your parents for everything. You're going to sit by and let them be called murderers - these people that are still pretty much taking care of your every need at 40 what?? 

Look:  we've always gotten along fine, but gross, Dan.  Just gross.

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Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #47 on: March 10, 2008, 10:50:27 am »
Oh, but you see, if Dan moved to Brussels, then Herman could take care of him while he was 'dying.'
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #48 on: March 10, 2008, 10:52:42 am »
Oh, but you see, if Dan moved to Brussels, then Herman could take care of him while he was 'dying.'

I thought that they broke up 7 days ago.  I need a neck brace for all of the whiplash.
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline thunter34

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #49 on: March 10, 2008, 10:59:26 am »
Oh, but you see, if Dan moved to Brussels, then Herman could take care of him while he was 'dying.'

Yes, the Herman he is "no longer with...not sure if he ever really was with" or whatever from just the other day.  Here we go again.  Roud and around and around and around.  

I mean this makes no sense at all.  You have no money to pay the deductible to get your car fixed, yet you're somehow magically going to manage to cover a trip to Belgium??  WTF?   OK - so you've got a litte bit of cash on your credit card for airfare...then what?  Airfare along ain't gonna get ya very far....unless you're expecting (as Betty says) Herman to take care of you.  

And to sit here and even propose that you will spend this last bit of credit for airfare is preposterous.  Here's a little tip:  get a cash advance on that credit card and get your damn pills or something.  Jeezus...work it out already!  This is not some insurmountable obstacle.  Stop acting like all avenues are exhausted...nothing left to do but fly off into the sunset and die.

We all know what this really is....another Oscar worthy performance.  

Enough already.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Ann

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #50 on: March 10, 2008, 11:09:27 am »
 

Enough already.

Agreed. Enough already. Tim, Betty, Philly, if what Dan posts in his threads bothers you, don't read the thread. There. It's that simple. Leave him alone already.

Yes, you're all warned.

Ann
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Offline mjmel

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #51 on: March 10, 2008, 11:44:22 am »
Dan, if you can work in a law office you can find the intelligence and resourcefulness to bring your current dilemma under control. If you put your mind to it I bet you will succeed.
I don't know your folks personally but I do know they love you and whatever is going on at the present--well, I don't think we have the whole picture here. I know this because I was able to read a post you wrote, posted, then retracted it shortly afterwards. But what you wrote then touched my heart at how much they cared about you.
 
Don't let your car be repossessed if you can help it because as you well know it'll ruin your credit.
Acquiring meds is problematic for you both in the relocating senario. He, if he moves here. You, if you go there. So it's not an option at this time. Maybe later, eh? By solving this problem you are encountering now, you show your abilities at problem solving and then guarantee there will be a time of reunion for you and Hermie, if your heart is set on this.

At about 38 years of age I had to take a job as a dishwasher in a small Greek restaurant in Denver, Colorado. Sheesh!. It was not fun and I felt it was demeaning. Hated it. But I did it till I found a job more suited to my skills. That took two months. As you may suspect, yes, I put myself in the position of having to wash dishes through my own rash behavior when quiting a job I had grow to dislike. Actually, it was the people I disliked not the job itself. There was nothing to be done but suck it up and earn some wages. No one else was going to take care of me. So just to let you know, all kinds of folks go through mundane stuff at a time in their lives when they surely didn't expect to do so. I suppose you already know this but think of this paragraph as a reminder.

I wish you strength and wisdom. However, I believe you already have those qualities. Use 'em.
Determined not discouraged.
Then, you can recall this thread as Growing Pains.  ;)

Mike
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 11:47:39 am by mjmel »

Offline Iggy

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #52 on: March 10, 2008, 12:06:59 pm »
Dan,

I know what you are going through and I have felt it acutely myself in the past, and am dealing with it to a small degree right now in my own job search.

I call it going Tharn which is a term from the novel Watership Down and is used to explain the moment a rabbit freezes in the road when a car's headlights hit it; it knows it needs to move and even how to move, but somehow it just can't.

There is no easy answer for this feeling and I disagree with those who have offered you certain advice - only because sometimes it just doesn't work as easy as doing anything - sometimes there are other factors that are not apparent to others.  If you need acknowledgement of that - you have it from me.

However, that said, I do agree with the intentions of most here and that you can't just remain in Tharn mode as sooner or later that metaphoric car is going to hit you.  I don't know what you can do to get out of it outside of make certain that you understand that what you are feeling right now is as dangerous as the actual lack of a job. 

The only practical advice I offer in relation to the above is to get offline a little bit.  The computer can be a debilitating crutch in many ways that enables one to remain stuck, and if nothing else, taking this simplest action sort of reinforces in your mind that you can affect changes in your world and that you have some control. 

Good luck with the job search and keep looking - it is hard - but it is worth it.

Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #53 on: March 10, 2008, 01:50:38 pm »
I need to step away from the keyboard because I am about to go off on all of you. But not Iggy & Mike who seem to be the only people in this thread can offer any type of support.
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 02:24:43 pm by Dan J. »

Offline Queen Tokelove

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #54 on: March 10, 2008, 10:18:10 pm »
I am a bit surprised by some of the color commentary on here. I have to wonder is it advice being given or just beating someone down even further? I am a believer in handing down some "tough love" but I think it truly depends on the circumstance. Do any of us know personally what Dan is going through? I would think the person who would truly be close to knowing all the details of the matter other than Dan would be Hermie and even then not really because Hermie is not living it but knows it from what Dan shares with him. What some of you consider being tough love can actually throw someone deeper into depression if they are already feeling depressed. Damn, I had a Dr. Phil moment there but then again just puffed on a doobie... ;D

I do think that maybe Dan's parents may be trying to push him out the door by not giving him the information he needs. Not sure if you looked at it this way, Dan. It does amaze me that your parents allowed you to live with them that long. You don't see that too much. But I think that something definitely has to give in your situation, YOU have to try something and not give up. I am thinking of you and rooting for you too.
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
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Offline MOONLIGHT1114

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #55 on: March 10, 2008, 10:36:08 pm »
Dan, you can come live in my townhouse with me in Maryland.  :)  There is a great Health Department here (with docs from Johns Hopkins in Baltimore) and you can go to my support group with me on Friday nights, where 95% of the attendees are gay men.  ;)

All funniness aside, I was unemployed last year for about 7 months.  I have a college degree and took a job doing DATA ENTRY (yuk!!!!) last December, with kids 15 years younger than me.  Not moving all day caused my injured neck to become quite aggravated, so I pooled my resources.  I called my old recruiter and the planets aligned.  I now have a great new job in Potomac, Maryland, just outside of DC, counting millions of dollars that aren't mine, lol. 

I will put my favorite quote to self in here, I tell it to all of my GFs in the Dating Thread....

"No one will ever know you exist unless you try."

I know you're tired, I know you're beat and worn down, I know you miss Hermie like hell.  Take baby steps and start earning a little money.  Although it may not be enough cash at first, just by getting out into the workplace and socializing and networking, that in itself will ultimately lead you to where you need to be (but you can always come mow my lawn ;)  ).

I'm a firm believer in that.  Yes, I am.  :)

Prayers for you, tonight, my friend.

~ Cindy
« Last Edit: March 10, 2008, 10:39:04 pm by MOONLIGHT1114 »
HIV+ since '93, 1/12 - CD4 785 and undet.   WOO-HOO!!

Dan J.

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #56 on: March 13, 2008, 08:56:17 pm »


I do think that maybe Dan's parents may be trying to push him out the door by not giving him the information he needs.

Yes, my parents are wanting me to move into my own place & I NEED to do it! Not because they want me to, but because it's time I had my own home. Right now, that just isn't possible unless I LIVE in my car! I have plenty of available credit (paid off cards with 0 balances) Right before I left for Europe in December I received a debt consolidation loan  so now instead of 3 credit card payments a month I have one. I did use my card to  pay the deducible on my auto insurance to get the Civic fixed.  My "economic stimulus $ "or at least 1/2 of it is already spent. I will use the remainder to pay my medicare part b premium & hopefully by then I will have a part time job to cover that expense. . Yesterday I had an interview with Sears for a part time (20 hours a week) position in the cash office. Hopefully, I will hear something soon.

Herman and I did not break up 7 days ago. When I left him in Belgium on January 23rd I knew that it would be a long, long time before he and I could possibly be together again. I felt that ending relationship as lovers and stay friends was the best thing for both of us. He needs someone in Gent & I need someone here in TN. The reason I said I doubted we were ever truly together was because seeing each other once or twice a year for a few weeks didn't really "count' as a real relationship to me, but I was wrong.  Yeah, I could use those cards to buy meds, but my budget is so tight I really don't want to use the card unless I know I will be able to make a payment.

When all my ducks don't line up in a row like I want or need them to be I get frustrated, and depressed..   I have been looking for another job since March 06 when I reopened my Voc Rehab case. My job working for the law firm from home ended on Sept 13 2007. I get out everyday and apply for jobs, & follow up on previous applications.  I am getting very discouraged because I haven't found anything.  I don't spend all day on the computer surfin' the web or reading the forums no offense to those that do but I find all of that to be very boring.

So, I can understand why my saying fuck it all I'm giving up ruffled some feathers and I am truly sorry for that.

I am not going to "pack up my toys" and go home, but I'm not going to be hangin' around here too much either. It doesn't do me or anyone here any good.

See ya when I see ya
« Last Edit: March 13, 2008, 09:53:10 pm by Dan J. »

Offline BT65

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #57 on: March 13, 2008, 09:07:18 pm »
D Herman to "take care of me" because Danny pays his own way. I found that remark by Betty to be rude and insensitive. Would you have said the same thing if it  we were a straight couple? I don't think so.
I

Give me a frickin' break already.  I'm a self-proclaimed lesbo when it comes to relationships.  No, you saying I wouldn't say it if you were in a 'straight' relationship is just an excuse to try to justify some of your meandering on & on. 

I apologize to the mods if this seems offensive, but when someone makes a wrong judgement call about me, I like it to stand corrected.
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Offline joemutt

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #58 on: March 14, 2008, 01:01:31 am »
Dan, I hope you will manage to break away from your parents,
it seems to be the most essential part to get some of your problems solved. (though life will always spit up enough new problems and I think you have been courageous in solving what you could in the past few years). So that's my wish for you.

Offline allopathicholistic

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Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #59 on: March 14, 2008, 12:08:58 pm »
Ever heard of this?


TN SHIP, TN Commission on Aging & Disability
Helpline: 877-801-0044 Toll-free

Website: http://www.state.tn.us/comaging/ship.html

It says TN SHIP counselors must have least 18 hours of training, which sounds okay. So consider calling them - It's toll-free anyway.

Quote
In Tennessee, SHIP operates through the state's nine Area Agencies on Aging & Disability (AAADs). These agencies offer a variety of services besides SHIP, all aimed at helping persons who are elderly and/or have disabilities to live better lives. SHIP is funded by the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), an agency of the federal government under the Department of Health & Human Services

Still keeping my fingers crossed for you.


Offline Queen Tokelove

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  • Smokey the Smurf
Re: I couldn't think of a "snappy title" for this thread...
« Reply #60 on: March 14, 2008, 12:47:39 pm »
Dan----

You do what you can, ok? Trust, I know about frustrations of things not going the way you want them and it causing you to be depressed. I have my own issues going on but for now they are on the back burner because I am helping a friend. If there was anything I could do to help you, know w/o a doubt I would. I know it is not easy trying to make it on your own when there is nothing out there to give you a "hand up instead of a hand out".

I am one of those ones who surf the web, day in and day out but that will soon change too once it gets warmer and folks won't be seeing too much of me either. Remember change is good no matter how small the change may be. Love ya to pieces.. :-*
Started Atripla/Ziagen on 9/13/07.
10/31/07 CD4-265 VL- undetectable
2/6/08 CD4- 401 VL- undetectable
5/7/08 CD4- 705 VL- undetectable
6/4/08 CD4- 775 VL- undetectable
8/6/08 CD4- 805 VL- undetectable
11/13/08 CD4- 774 VL--undetectable
2/4/09  CD4- 484  VL- 18,000 (2 months off meds)
3/3/09---Starting Back on Meds---
4/27/09 CD4- 664 VL-- undetectable
6/17/09 CD4- 438 VL- 439
8/09 CD4- 404 VL- 1,600
01-22-10-- CD4- 525 VL- 59,000
Cherish the simple things life has to offer

 


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