Author Topic: Anal sex with ill fitting condom (Read 6975 times)

LY · « **on:** January 29, 2008, 01:37:37 pm »

Hi,
2 weeks ago I had an encounter which I believe was low risk. Oral sex (no ejaculation) However shortly after he came he inserted his finger into me. I'm 90% sure it was the other hand, not the one he j/o off with. Since the encounter we've been e-mailing back and forth, he seems genuine and said he always plays safe and is negative (You can never be sure though can you).
Saturday night 2 weeks post encounter I got a canker sore and white tongue (I have had this before though). Yesterday I was on the treadmill at the gym and started to itch like crazy. I got home and had what looked like 8 large insect bites on my body, combined with red rash with small bumps all over my body, I had a golf ball like swelling under my neck and a very sore eyelid. I got home took a cold shower and some antihistamines and the next day the rash has completely disappeared. I'm hoping this sounds more like an allergy. I have just stopped taking pain-killers and stupidly I did drink a few times with the pain killers.
I know the only way to be sure is not to dwell over symptoms and get tested, but I'm really freaking out!

Ann · « **Reply #1 on:** January 29, 2008, 01:59:14 pm »

LY,

You didn't have a risk at all. Along with read the Transmission Lesson which is linked to in the Welcome Thread, here's what you need to know to remain hiv negative.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do not need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and cosistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann

LY · « **Reply #2 on:** January 29, 2008, 02:50:21 pm »

Thanks Ann,

I feel a little better now

The symptoms I had yesterday though were scary - with the canker sore in the mouth, white tongue, mild night sweats (on my pillow only, not the bed)and severe rash it definitely feels like something definitely is not right - some kind of infection, and it's a little odd that all this is happening 2 weeks post encounter, which is typically when seroconversion starts. What about the other part I mentioned? - If the guy had got cum on his finger and inserted it into me (sorry for being so blunt), wouldn't that pose a medium risk? I doubt this happened but can't be 100%

I know you can't go by symptoms etc etc, but I've never had a severe rash/swelling like that in my life and it scared the hell out of me.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #3 on:** January 29, 2008, 02:54:54 pm »

NEVERTHELESS, you were not at risk for transmission during that incident no matter what your mind maybe saying to the contrary.

If you are still having symptoms you should discuss them with your doctor. Like Ann I do not see this in any way as an HIV situation.

LY · « **Reply #4 on:** January 31, 2008, 08:55:18 am »

Thanks for the quick replies.

I would like to believe that oral is a theoretical risk.I've read stories of people on this forum claiming to be infected via oral or oral in combination with protected anal (I do not believe all that I read, but what if half were telling the truth?)
I once spoke to a doctor (The local gay and lesbian center referred me to) who was adament there was a 1 in 10 chance from oral sex.
I did not believe this, and was surprised a doctor would say this??
From what I have read on various 'legitimate' sites/forums opinions seem to vary from no risk to medium risk. There is a chart in the South Beach testing center on lincoln road in Miami (CVS)which shows oral with no ejaculation as been low risk and with ejaculation medium risk.I would love to believe you guys.

My gums are not always in the best shape and sometimes bleed!!!!!!

My symptoms have just been too strange to shrug off. A terrible hives rash and swollen neck which disappeared overnight followed by a sore throat and headache which still hasn't disappeared two days later.
They started 2 weeks after the encounter, which is typically when seroconversion begins.

I'm still freaking out and can not concentrate on my job.
I'm not a US citizen, so I would lose my job/partner and have to go back home if I tested positive.

Ann · « **Reply #5 on:** January 31, 2008, 09:08:12 am »

LY,

What you describe sounds nothing like hiv seroconversion - it sounds like a coincidental allergic reaction. Go see a doctor - it's nothing to do with hiv.

Ann

LY · « **Reply #6 on:** January 31, 2008, 09:33:55 am »

Was probably an allergic reaction, however could it have been an allergic reaction to the HIV virus entering my system?
Sorry if this sounds ridiculous, but I have heard of people being allergic to chickenpox etc
Would a sore throat still persist a few days after an allergic reaction. I also have a canker sore in my mouth which could possible indicate an infection.

Thanks for the advice Ann and Andy, I do appreciate it,
I'm a total hypochondriac and will probably still test after 6 weeks and 3 months even if just for peace of mind. Still worried, hopefully I'll eventually calm down and get back on track.

Ann · « **Reply #7 on:** January 31, 2008, 09:45:29 am »

LY,

NO, you would not have an allergic reaction to hiv. It just doesn't work that way.

Ann

LY · « **Reply #8 on:** January 31, 2008, 06:03:24 pm »

Sore throat persisting for 3 days - this has never happened to me before, usually it's a day or two max.No fever though, but a bit of a constant headache.

Maybe I'm being paranoid, but I've heard of drug resistant strains of HIV. Could certain new strains be much less fragile/stronger and able to resist saliva/bacteria in the mouth?
Also, coming back off xmas holiday I caught some virus - like flu but without a fever and a dry cough (definitely not std) probably because half of the plane was coughing. I'd just got over this and still had a bit of a cough during the encounter - my immune system was probably weakened?? the cough could have slightly irritated the throat making hiv entry possible if pre-cum was present? Could a virus i caught on the plane still be making me feel unwell 4 weeks later?

Sorry if I seem like I'm ranting on like crazy. My mind goes into overdrive sometimes.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #9 on:** January 31, 2008, 06:10:22 pm »

You ARE ranting. You keep piling on your symptoms. They are not in any way suggestive of HIV.

Go see your doctor and get a proper diagnosis. No matter what your fears and mind are saying to the contrary, this is NOT an HIV situation. Really.

LY · « **Reply #10 on:** February 13, 2008, 02:00:22 pm »

The hives incident after visiting the gym put me off going for a few weeks.
However, I went back to the gym yesterday, and after sweating I broke out in hives again?? The white tongue has not disappeared either and i've had a mild sore throat for about 3 weeks. Add on/off stinging urination to the list.

Sounds like an allergy you may think, but i've never been allergic to anything in my life ,I haven't eaten anything recently that I haven't already eaten a million times before, haven't changed my detergant etc etc - very strange?

I know HIV symptoms are non-specific etc, but something definitely feels really wrong, it definitely feels like my body is fighting off something.
I do not want to see a doctor unless it's an emergency, as i don't have health insurance, and last time I went it cost a fortune and all I got was a few pain killers.

I would not worry about this incident if I was symptomless, but this is too much of a coincidence, and I just can't stop worrying - I wish I could

I'm a little scared to get tested too because a few years ago I got a false positive for hep c.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #11 on:** February 13, 2008, 03:15:48 pm »

You can call it strange and coincidence and everything else that thousands of the worried well have done before you. And then tested negative.

This is not an HIV situation. Get it squared away with your doctor. We've done what we can do for you here.

LY · « **Reply #12 on:** February 18, 2008, 03:25:00 pm »

was planning on getting tested on Saturday, however just realised that will be 39 days (Just short of 6 weeks) Should I wait another week or does it really matter?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #13 on:** February 18, 2008, 05:43:27 pm »

It ain't gonna make a difference. You weren't at risk so this uproar is all about feelings and nothing based in HIV science. More hypochondria is what getting all worried about which day for testing when there wasn't any risk to begin with.

Test if you must and collect the inevitable negative result.

LY · « **Reply #14 on:** February 19, 2008, 03:43:51 pm »

Just want to clear this up-

Maybe you were thinking I just received a bj? I didn't make it clear in my original post it was oral both ways.

my gums do sometimes bleed a little after brushing.

I heard people can have a slight allergic reaction when anti-bodies are produced
(i.e the hives)
The fact there was no ej makes it a little less riskier.

Matty the Damned · « **Reply #15 on:** February 19, 2008, 03:59:47 pm »

No we understand what you're saying and our answers will not change. You were not at risk. You don't have HIV. You don't need to test, but if you do, that test result will be negative.

MtD

LY · « **Reply #16 on:** March 27, 2008, 11:42:48 am »

Hi,
Not exactly proud of this, but the other day I performed anal sex on a guy using a condom.
The condom was a little tight and at some point my penis was probably only covered 2/3. The head was covered at all times.
Did I put myself at any risk here? Is there any chance body fluids could've got inside the condom if it didn't fit all way down?

LY · « **Reply #17 on:** March 27, 2008, 11:46:43 am »

p.s. though the head was covered, the condom may have sliden a little, this worries me a little bit.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #18 on:** March 27, 2008, 12:15:00 pm »

You were absolutely not at risk for HIV transmission. The key thing is to have the head of your penis covered which you have reported was so.

As for your self-judgements about having had anal sex with a guy, that's something for you to sort out. As far as risk was concerned, you didn't have any. Keep those condoms handy and use one everytime. And make sure you're using a size which fits you comfortably.

Cheers,

Ann · « **Reply #19 on:** March 27, 2008, 12:21:33 pm »

LY,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann

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Author Topic: Anal sex with ill fitting condom (Read 6975 times)