Author Topic: peace of mind - andy, ann, rapid etc (Read 10883 times)

capaAUSTRALIA · « **on:** October 25, 2007, 12:43:49 pm »

G'Day,

Two weeks ago I started on antidepressants. I mixed it with a little alcohol, met a girl from interstate and we went up to her hotel room which was in the same complex. The next day I woke up and HIV has consumed my mind. This anxiety has never happened before and I think it may result from the antidepressants BUT now i'm experiencing symptoms!

Basically I received oral sex with a condom she supplied and I fingered her as we kissed now and then. However, I had elective surgery about three weeks earlier on my shoulder for a mole. In the heat of it all, while I was just concerned that there was a condom in sight, I forgot that the recent wound was uncovered. I had not felt a need to cover it earlier in the night as it appeared fully healed - it was just pink and I could go to the gym etc. It was not bleeding or anything. My paranoia is that perhaps she or I touched it after coming in contact with her vaginal fluid. I actually "got lucky" two weeks before this and had it covered with a waterproof patch (did not get nervous then).

As noted, from day 1 I have experienced intense fear about HIV. I don't know why. I discontinued the antidepressants after 3 days because of this. The fear continues. I have been shaking and my heart has been pounding for two weeks, it is contantly on my mind.

First few days I experinced nausea and vomiting (probably the meds) and a runny nose/comgested sinus in the morning. Note that I have been smoking 2 packets of cigarettes per day and drinking 10 cups of coffee out of EXTREME worry.

It got better. Only a few days ago, I began to experienced a frequent need to urinate, tender testicles and a night sweat - my back was wet. I had drank a lot of coffee that day. That night I remember just staying awake all night and staring into space just dreading an infection. I was really worried. I didn't experience a fever, just felt a little cold when getting out of bed.

I ceased the coffee and the urinating and tender testicles went - It only lasted a day. But on the day of ceasing the coffee I experienced a very mild night sweat the next morning - almost unoticeable and I was slightly cold.

I don't know what to think. My only exposure is protected oral sex and some foreplay. But I had that wound on my shoulder ...

Could this just all be anxiety?

Thanks so much

Andy Velez · « **Reply #1 on:** October 25, 2007, 01:07:16 pm »

Cap, even if she had sucked you without a condom you wouldn't have been at risk for HIV transmission. In the entire history of the epidemic there's never been a case confirmed of transmission to a guy through getting a blowjob. It's safe to say you won't make history by becoming the first.

Fingering is NOT a risk for transmission either. And your shoulder and all of the other details you've thrown into the mix -- just more "stuff." None of it put you at risk.

For whatever personal reasons, your mind is just having a field day with this but there's no basis in HIV science for you to be concerned nor to get tested.

If you haven't already read it, read the lesson on Transmission on this site. There's a link to it in the Welcome thread which opens this section.

Let go of this worry and go on your way. Really.

Cheers,

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #2 on:** October 25, 2007, 01:12:58 pm »

Thanks Andy. I don't know why i'm so worried but now these symptoms are getting me even more worried.

I have read all the litrature and know i'm not at risk. But these symptoms...

Now i'm thinking maybe she tempered with the condom as I didn't se her take it out of the packet - I was just happy she had one! (because I forgot mine). It was blue, maybe raspberry. . .

Maybe I'm being tauight a lesson for swinging!

Ann · « **Reply #3 on:** October 25, 2007, 01:38:38 pm »

capa,

Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms means nothing when it comes to hiv infection. You did not have a risk for hiv so whatever is causing your symptoms, it won't be hiv.

See your doctor about how you've been feeling, preferably the one who prescribed the antidepressants. Make sure you explain that you have been drinking alcohol and excess amounts of coffee during your adjustment phase. The excess ciggies won't be helping how you feel much either.

FYI - You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Although you do NOT need to test over this specific incident, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

This is not an hiv situation. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection and you won't have an hiv situation in future either.

Ann

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #4 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:40:49 am »

Okay thanks! I'm just a little scared about all this sweating at night... maybe its the stress or something I don't know. I told my doctor who said it is all anxiety and stress. We'll see what happens from now on.

Ann · « **Reply #5 on:** October 28, 2007, 05:45:46 am »

capa,

All sorts of things can cause sweating at night, including stress and sometimes medications can have this effect on some people as well. See your doctor again if it doesn't subside.

Whatever is going on with you, you did not become infected with hiv when you had your penis sucked. It doesn't happen that way.

Ann

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #6 on:** October 28, 2007, 09:37:45 am »

Thanks Ann. Sorry for all the questions.

My first night sweat occured when blood was drawn for a PCR test. My result was negative.

Given that this first "symptom" occured on the night my blood was drawn and that diarrhoea was present even before the test, viral load should have been high. Therefore, clearly, something else is causing this sweating and diarrhoea.

Okay so just to confirm. Even if vaginal secretions were massaged onto my back or somehow came into contact with my sore, it could still not cause transmission?

I'll leave it and just get on with seeing what the problem is with my doctor if this persists.

Ann · « **Reply #7 on:** October 28, 2007, 10:27:49 am »

capa,

You did not have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #8 on:** October 29, 2007, 01:40:19 pm »

Thanks Ann. I know, but I still cannot sleep due to these symptoms.

My doctor said that had I been infected then the viral load would certainly be detectable by 10 days. I was told by various people that viral load sky rockets in the first few days and continues to multiply until the immune system takes action. An HIV counselor said that given my load was undetectable at <40, I have nothing to worry about as all infected people have a detectable viral load within a few days. In fact he said it should be in the thousands.

He said I should rest assured that, based on these results, I am not infected.

Do you agree?

Andy Velez · « **Reply #9 on:** October 29, 2007, 05:50:19 pm »

What I agree with is that you didn't do anything which put you at risk for HIV transmission.

All of these other details and assurances you are throwing into the mix are completely irrelevant. You were not at risk. Period.

Go ahead and get tested if you must. Totally unnecessary.

This is all about feelings and not any facts grounded in HIV science.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #10 on:** November 01, 2007, 04:15:45 am »

Okay thanks - I have seen three different doctors and they all said it is just stress... they were quite amused by my sexual adventures.

I was just really scared about my sweating at night (on two nights it was severe) but understand that I was VERY stressed to the point of insanity so I agree - I had insomnia, low lobido, extreme anxiety etc = STRESS. I also chain smoked and had excessive coffee consumption, and, the body "sweats" out these toxins during sleep on the ecent of caffeine and nicotine intoxication.

I guess I am just paranoid - the only way I could have aquired anything was by some "foul play" but i'm sure that wouldn't happen.

Thanks again for the comments.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #11 on:** November 02, 2007, 01:39:55 pm »

Hi Andy and Ann,

I just want to double check with both of you as you are knowledgeable in HIV transmission. My rational mind is starting to accept that I am okay. However, I just need to run this by you just to be sure.

11 days after I began to have severe night sweats that lasted 4 days. Some mild diorrhoea and feeling a little warmer, fatigued and just out of it. Heaps of insomnia.

Does this sound like anxiety and stress and doesn't look suspicious?

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #12 on:** November 03, 2007, 09:26:59 am »

Hi. My research, discussions with several doctors and an HIV counselor have resulted in my rational mind concluding that I could not have possibly been infected with HIV from receptive oral sex with a condom, even if it was from several women in one weekend. HIV is a fragile virus that needs a proper environment in which transmission needs to be effective and given that I wore a condom there is no risk of HIV infection, especially from oral. Hand to genital contact has never been documented even with cuts and sores and lots of virus needs to be present - hence unprotected insertive vaginal sex being the most common form of heterosexual transmission, and even that bears a 1 in 2000 chance provided the female is HIV+.

The doctors said that given I did not have vaginal sex and wore condoms for oral, I should not be worried. I could not have acquired HIV. It is just impossible and I keep telling myself that.

Accordingly, my question is this: can being convinced you have HIV cause such intense anxiety that you can have severe night sweats? I have spoken to several people who have had similar "symptoms" after being "convinced" despite low risk activity, and yet a negative result followed. These severe night sweats (one drenching, two moderate and the rest very mild lasting about a week) are my only concern because the only possible way I could have been infected with HIV by such a low risk activity is by some kind of foul play - which is just ridiculous in hindsight (it was just protected oral sex with some fondling and no vaginal contact!). A part from some mild fatigue, diorrhoea and feeling warmer, I felt fine but very anxious and worried. As my night sweats were ending, I went to see the doctor who said my temperature was in the normal range. That day the night sweats ended and I have slept soundly for 2 days.

Does this sound like anxiety? Is this type of anxiety with these symptoms common? Two doctors have said itis stress related but the sweats were quite severe on two nights (3 days apart).

Thanks

Andy Velez · « **Reply #13 on:** November 03, 2007, 09:41:41 am »

Please keep all of your comments and questions in this same thread. I've merged your latest one with your previous. Thanks for your cooperation with this rule.

You're asking us to evaluate or diagnose your sweats. We can't responsibly do that. I can tell you that all sorts of symptoms can be triggered by anxiety including sweating, shakes and many other physical manifestations. It's always good to check things out medically to see what's up. Once you have done that or along with doing that, talking with a counselor or other such professional can be very helpful in sorting out the emotional component of whatever is going on.

What we can say is you do not have an HIV problem. You may have a problem ABOUT HIV, but that is quite different from having had any real risk for transmission.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #14 on:** November 03, 2007, 07:30:51 pm »

I agree, thanks. I'll have an antibody test in 3 weeks just to be sure.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #15 on:** November 05, 2007, 06:25:03 am »

Hi Andy and Ann,

I just wanted to thank you so much for your encouraging words - I have accepted that I am okay.

Anxiety causes mild symptoms that causes further anxiety than prompts caffeine and nicotine intoxication that, together with further anxiety, intensifies symptoms that causes a total melt down!

Everybody says not to worry and have recommended against an HIV test despite my night sweats - moderators from 3 different HIV sites, four different GP's, a nurse from a leading sexual health clinic, an online HIV specialist familiar with my concerns, and both of you. I can finally put my fears to rest. I made myself sick and was really silly with worry.

I do not have an HIV problem, just a problem about HIV.

The HIV specialist explained the timing of my symptoms and how it relates to my PCR test, and, my paranoid idea that somehow the women pricked me with a needle or something (stupid I know) just faded, because, my paranoia was corrected with science.

Okay thanks again. I probably will test in 6 weeks but am sure it will return negative.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #16 on:** November 05, 2007, 09:07:07 am »

You can test as many times as you like. You weren't at risk so you're just going to collect a bunch of negative results.

I suggest you consider talking with a counselor or other such professional to get some help with the emotional aspects of this experience and your subsequent unwarranted concern. Under the best of circumstances life is too short to be spent worrying. Talking with a professional in a safe setting can be very helpful in eliminating this kind of worry from your life.

This is NOT and HIV situation. Period.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #17 on:** November 15, 2007, 09:12:53 am »

Apologies, serotonin flooding has ceased and I am rational once again. I did see an HIV counselor while the antidepressants had the anxiety effect and the VL test at 10 days which returned <40 was the basis of using science to overcome iirrationality - the HIV counselor explained the science behind it etc.

So thanks, Andy for all your help! Where possible, I'd like to clear up uncertainty surrounding transmission for my own curiosity.

I got really scared when I read all these stories about people contracting HIV from oral or people not knowing when they were infected because they "always" have safe sex. Are these people just very unfortunate because the stories do not correspond with science. It just got me scared that some people claim they got HIV through these no risk acts - maybe there were certain circumstances - like badly bleeding wounds.

I saw a sexual health nurse while in my state of serotinin flooding and she said the ONLY way to get HIV is through unprotected anal or vaginal sex and/or IV drug use. That is it. Unless, of course, you have a massive bleeding gushing wound in your mouth and perform oral sex. She said the wound would need to be quite severe - like having ones wisdom teeth recently removed, not simply biting ones tongue.

Andy Velez · « **Reply #18 on:** November 15, 2007, 10:01:59 am »

The nurse was giving you the real deal.

Excercise some self-control how about it and stop surfing sites to feed your endless stream of unfounded fears.

It's time to get on with your life.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #19 on:** November 16, 2007, 01:31:16 am »

Hello,

I do not have HIV. However, I thought I did! Why? Because there are SO many stories online by people who claim to have acquired HIV through safe sex or oral sex. This made me scared.

During my state of anxiety, I went to a sexual health clinic and spoke with the nurse who told me there are only 3 ways to get HIV:
1) Unprotected vaginal or anal sex
2) Shared IV drug use
3) Oral sex with GUSHING and BLEEDING wounds in the mouth. An example she used was having ones wisdom teeth pulled out.

Is this accurate?

Ann · « **Reply #20 on:** November 16, 2007, 09:48:41 am »

Capa,

I've rejected the two new accounts you attempted to create today. Having multiple accounts is against our Terms of Membership which you agreed to when you became a member. This information is also contained within the Welcome Thread, which you should have read by now. So really, you have no excuse.

If you attempt to create a new account again, you will be permanently banned, no questions asked.

You have not had a risk for hiv infection and the answers are not going to change if you use a new screen name. I hope when you read the Welcome thread, you also take note of the posting guideline which says:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Please consider yourself warned.

Ann

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #21 on:** November 16, 2007, 10:05:45 am »

I'm sorry Ann - that was really stupid of me. I just really want to know the answer.

I am legally blind so not really knowing what women do when having sex sometimes gets me paranoid... I guess I just need to trust that they are responsible.

All I know is that I can feel the condom is on, I can feel that is latex, I can feel that it is not broken and that's it. When I have sex, all I can know for sure is that the condom is on. The rest is just guesswork.

So, despite my blindness, so long as I know 100% that a condom is on, then, I know 100% that I am not at risk?

Again, I apologise.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #22 on:** October 12, 2008, 07:04:17 am »

Hi, me again. I developed severe flu like symptoms last week – fever, nasal congestion, some chesty cough etc. Anyway, I started dating and have had the following sexual encounters with women (I am male).
-Vaginal intercourse with a condom and receiving oral sex without a condom three weeks ago, then receiving unprotected oral sex two weeks ago
-“fooling around” with a girl naked in my bed, and she sat on my penis. There was no penetration, her vagina just pressed against my shaft. Then I put on a condom and we participated in frottage. I’m not sure if it slipped in but the condom looked like it was still in tact as my semen was caught by it and she did not say anything. She speared very careful, which was good. A broken condom would have been noticeable, right?
-I did go to a brothel once before I decided to date around, but I had protected oral sex on me on that occasion. I actually feel safer in brothels, because some girls I’ve dated are actually not concerned about having men wear condoms. I couldn’t believe it, maybe because my generation did not grow up with the AIDS scare of the 80’s.

Thank you so very much for the peace of mind you are about to give me.

Ann · « **Reply #23 on:** October 12, 2008, 07:17:16 am »

capa,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep all your additional thoughts or questions in one thread.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.

Nothing you did or had done to you was risky for hiv infection. Protected intercourse is just that - protected. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. And yes, you would notice if the condom broke.

Getting a blowjob, with or without a condom, is not a risk for hiv infection. Frottage, with or without a condom, is also not a risk for hiv infection.

You have not had a risk. Keep using those condoms and you won't have a risk in future either.

Ann

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #24 on:** October 12, 2008, 07:19:33 am »

Thanks Ann. Your responses always put my mind at ease. One more question: had the condom broke or failed, what would it have looked like? Would it have covered the head, for example?

Thanks again.

Ann · « **Reply #25 on:** October 12, 2008, 07:36:13 am »

capa,

A broken condom generally looks like a hula skirt around your penis.

Ann

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #26 on:** October 13, 2008, 05:35:15 am »

Thanks very much. Being legally blind, I felt it but could only feel wetness (lube probably which was amply applied). The girl also looked at it and did not say anything after suggesting I remove it myself for fear that she would hurt me. She probably would have said something.

Each time I have sex, would you suggest feeling for latex around the head of my penis would be sufficient or should I just ask?

Ann · « **Reply #27 on:** October 13, 2008, 06:46:41 am »

capa,

You should be able to feel if the condom is still in one piece or not.

Ann

Andy Velez · « **Reply #28 on:** October 13, 2008, 08:30:18 am »

When a condom fails it's not about teensy weensy little holes. The whole thing gives way and as Ann said, it ends up like a fringed hula hoop on your penis. Even with limited eyesight you would be able to tell that just by touch and I daresay your partner would say something about it as well.

capaAUSTRALIA · « **Reply #29 on:** October 14, 2008, 03:21:33 am »

Thanks Andy. You just made me feel a lot better.

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Author Topic: peace of mind - andy, ann, rapid etc (Read 10883 times)