Slightly unusual question

[Drunken_Scot]

Hi folks.  I'm not sure this is really the right place to ask this but I'd appreciate it if you could help me out.  I am a straight guy who on Saturday night went to a party and got pretty drunk.  I fell asleep in a bed with a girl and another guy, who I happen to know is bisexual.  I woke up a couple of hours later lying on my back and he sort of had one of his legs lying on top of me, and seemed to be cuddling me.   I had my underpants on and I believe he did too.  Nothing at all happened while I was awake - I can say that much with certainty - but I just wonder if it's remotely possible that anything could have while I was asleep.  Put it this way - if for some reason he'd taken advantage of me, do you think I'd've woken up if he was trying to force his way into me?  I mean presumably that would hurt enough that you would definitely wake up even if you were really drunk and a bit stoned too, as I was?  I studiously checked my underpants and my next few bowel movements - no sign of blood or anything otherwise untoward.  I should point out I've never had anal sex.  I don't think there's any reason to believe I did on Saturday, but I want to put my mind at rest.  If you think there's any way I could have had sex without knowing about it, please let me know and I will go along for a test in three months.  I should point out I didn't feel sore afterwards or the next day, though I've felt a bit irritated down there today - possibly just because of stress (also stress at work), or concentrating on it too much, or possibly even from the harsh toilet paper at work.  Felt fine yesterday (Sunday) anyway, other than very hungover.  Please let me know what you think.  Is this a risk or am I just being paranoid?  Please don't give me a lecture about prejudices - I assure you I'm cynical about human (particularly male) nature rather homosexual male nature.  In return I won't put myself in vulnerable positions in future.  Many thanks.

[Ann]

Scot,

If someone tried to insert their penis into your anus, you'd know about it. Just because the other guy is bi doesn't mean he is going to jump your bones the moment you fall asleep.

Along with reading our Welcome Thread and following the link found there to the Transmission Lesson, here's what you need to know to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

While you were not at risk in this non-incident, if you've ever had unprotected intercourse, no matter who it was with, you should test for hiv. A test three months or more past your last unprotected incident will be conclusive.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple.

Ann

[Drunken_Scot]

Thanks for your response Ann.  However, I was recently reading about a case where a woman was drunk and was raped in her sleep - she didn't know about it until video footage emerged later.  If this is possible with a female then why not with a male?

Also two weeks after that I started having bad headaches which lasted several weeks.  I felt pretty under the weather, though not feverish as such.  Should this worry me?

Thanks again,

Scot

[thunter34]

Thanks for your response Ann.  However, I was recently reading about a case where a woman was drunk and was raped in her sleep - she didn't know about it until video footage emerged later.  If this is possible with a female then why not with a male?

Because girls have a Va-Jay-Jay and boys don't.  That's why. 

The vagina is naturally much more elastic than the rectum- and especially for someone who claims to have never had it up the bum.  I am absolutely certain you would know it if it had happened.

Come on- are you for real with this?  When I read posts like this, I can't help but think it's written from someone who deep down wishes something would have happened more than has actual concerns about an event.  You're worried that, in your slumber, a devious bisexual covertly slipped you the salami in the back door.

Really?  Really??

If you are still having headaches, go see a doctor- but it isn't HIV related. 

[Drunken_Scot]

Well, fair enough.  But do you not think it's at least a bit weird my arse was hurting during the week?

[Ann]

Scot,

Please re-read my very first reply to you. The bottom line here is that if you think you've been at risk, then go test. If you're a sexually active adult you should be having routine sexual health check ups anyway.

Ann