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Author Topic: Newly Positive and Newly Single  (Read 4655 times)

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Offline kcinrwraahcs

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  • Posts: 5
Newly Positive and Newly Single
« on: August 12, 2014, 01:08:09 pm »
Hi guys. I've been reading the forums since I found out I was positive on July 11th and it's definitely been helpful reading your stories. I wanted to introduce myself and maybe have a new outlet to talk about things in general. So on to the about me

I was in a relationship for almost a year and hadn't been tested since we started dating(stupid I know). We had a semi-open relationship in that we had other guys over together. At the beginning of June I started having feeling for one of the guys that we regularly had over and he was worried about STDs, and rightfully so. So we all went to get tested together. On June 26th we all went. Both him and my boyfriend were negative, and I got the news that I was positive.

I looked online to find all of the reasons that it could have been a false positive and held on to hope that I had some other disease that wasn't sexually transmitted, but alas, on July 11th I got my confirmatory results and was positive.  I took it surprisingly well since I read through all of these posts and have a friend who is positive as well. My CD4 was 493 and viral load was 4000. So not in a bad boat I guess. But this is when I decided that I needed to end it with my boyfriend, against most people's better judgement.

I'm still waiting on results from the resistance tests as the first time something was screwed up at the lab and they had to redo my bloodwork 2 weeks ago. I really just want to start meds and get back to a normal kind of life.

But on top of all that, I was really falling for the other guy, and he was for me too. HIV changed all that though, and now he's afraid to touch me. We still hang out and he still is attracted to me, but he can't seem to get past the fear of catching it from he. He did PEP and is now on Prep, but it's only been a few days.

Anyway, I'm sad today and wanted to vent to someone and didn't really have anyone to vent to. Sorry for the long post. Hope to get to know some of you better.

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: Newly Positive and Newly Single
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2014, 01:21:56 pm »
Welcome to the Forums and thank you for sharing your story with us . I can see that you have a great attitude and that will go a long way in helping you lead a great life despite HIV .

Its been 30 years since I found out I had HIV and the last 10 has been the best years of my life . I'm wishing you the best and looking forward to hearing more from you .
HIV 101 - Basics
HIV 101
You can read more about Transmission and Risks here:
HIV Transmission and Risks
You can read more about Testing here:
HIV Testing
You can read more about Treatment-as-Prevention (TasP) here:
HIV TasP
You can read more about HIV prevention here:
HIV prevention
You can read more about PEP and PrEP here
PEP and PrEP

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Newly Positive and Newly Single
« Reply #2 on: August 12, 2014, 02:22:10 pm »
I was in a relationship for almost a year and hadn't been tested since we started dating(stupid I know). We had a semi-open relationship in that we had other guys over together. At the beginning of June I started having feeling for one of the guys that we regularly had over and he was worried about STDs, and rightfully so. So we all went to get tested together. On June 26th we all went. Both him and my boyfriend were negative, and I got the news that I was positive.

But on top of all that, I was really falling for the other guy, and he was for me too. HIV changed all that though, and now he's afraid to touch me. We still hang out and he still is attracted to me, but he can't seem to get past the fear of catching it from he. He did PEP and is now on Prep, but it's only been a few days.


Welcome here.

May i poke around this a bit.  Why did your new interest need PEP?  You 3 had unprotected sex? If he was afraid of STDs, why was he OK to have unprotected sex with you 2 while not knowing your status? 
I'm sorry you got HIV.  But at least its good your ex and the new guy were spared... 
I presume he is now on PREP so he can feel "more protected" -- but who is that aimed at, if not you?  Does he prefer unprotected sex in general? Is this for "double protection" - plans to have protected sex AND be on PREP?
I hope he chills out soon enough because whats the point of being on PREP if you are still going to be afraid of contact with HIV+ people?

Anyway, good luck - I hope you get the relationship you want!
« Last Edit: August 12, 2014, 02:25:16 pm by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline kcinrwraahcs

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Re: Newly Positive and Newly Single
« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2014, 08:57:11 am »
To answer your question, we all thought we were negative, but it had been 6 months since I was tested. I'm not sure about the new guy's last test but he hadn't been with many other people. We did all have unprotected sex several times. But I had never came in him until 2 days before we were all tested. Since I came back positive he got on PEP.
As for who the PREP is aimed at, I guess just everyone in general. We were all going to get on it actually, but obviously not going to work for me. He's not normally into hooking up at all. And was just trying new things I guess. At first he was OK with my status and we just used condoms, but after about a week of PEP he started getting depressed and everything changed I guess. And I'm not in his head, but I assume while he was depressed he over thought things and just made it worse.
He's not hooking up with anyone now, but is still worried he might be positive, so he doesn't want to do anything until he gets his results again from after PEP. But he flat out told me he was afraid of me...so I don't know what will happen.

Anyway, thanks for the response and well wishes.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Newly Positive and Newly Single
« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2014, 06:04:57 pm »
Yes seems hard to predict how his mind will go.  He has had a scare.
What about you how are you holding up?
Did you read around the forum at all? Anything of interest to you?
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline leatherman

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  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Newly Positive and Newly Single
« Reply #5 on: August 13, 2014, 07:24:43 pm »
As for who the PREP is aimed at, I guess just everyone in general. We were all going to get on it actually, but obviously not going to work for me.

....but after about a week of PEP he started getting depressed and everything changed I guess. And I'm not in his head, but I assume while he was depressed he over thought things and just made it worse.
actually if Truvada is part of your regimen, you will be on PrEP. LOL And that is a good thing! The chances of a successfully treated HIV+ person (meaning adherent to meds, undetectable for more than 6 months or more) transmitting HIV is virtually zero.

now if Truvada is the PrEP med your friend is on, be aware that one of it's most common side effects IS depression. Of course, worry for himself and concern for you could be the contributing causes; but it could also be a temporary issue because of the med.

Quote
The most common side effects of Truvada are diarrhea, nausea, fatigue, headache, dizziness, depression, insomnia, abnormal dreams and rash.
http://www.aidsmeds.com/archive/Truvada_1584.shtml
leatherman (aka Michael)

We were standing all alone
You were leaning in to speak to me
Acting like a mover shaker
Dancing to Madonna then you kissed me
And I think about it all the time
- Darren Hayes, "Chained to You"

Offline kcinrwraahcs

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Newly Positive and Newly Single
« Reply #6 on: August 15, 2014, 08:45:49 am »
I'm doing surprisingly well mecch. I guess googling everything and reading stuff here and other places has put me in the right mind frame for this. It 's bad, but manageable. My doctor and nurse have talked to me about stuff. And the nurse actually had an hour sit down with me to go over any questions I might have and just to talk about whatever was on my mind. Which was very helpful. I'm still grasping it I guess and just want to get started on meds as soon as I can. I wish that the first resistance test wasn't screwed up.

And leatherman, as long as the resistance test comes back fine, my doctor wants to start me off on Stribild. So yeah, it will have truvada in it. And he is on Truvada, and has a history of depression apparently. It was also part of his PEP. So I'm hoping for his sake that the depression side effect goes away quickly, whatever he ends up deciding to do. But he is debating just not taking it anymore also. So, we shall see I guess.

 


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