Need some reassurance

[ekaboka]

Hello all, thanks in advance for answering my question. I am 99% sure that there was no risk in what I did, but would still like some reassurance.

Yesterday, I visited a local Asian massage parlor. Got a table shower, a massage and a handjob in the end (I think she used baby oil). I know the handjob is no risk. But during the handjob she spit into her hand and used the saliva on my scrotum. Not on the penis, I told her not to do that.

To the best of my knowledge, there should be no risk of transmission of HIV here. I don’t think I had any cuts/nicks on my balls. But please let me know your opinion.

The reason I ask is: this morning I have a small sore on my lower lip, looks more like a pimple, might not even be a sore...but my mind started racing with "what if's"...

I am also worried because I feel so guilty for having done this, I just couldn’t control myself. I just moved to the area with a new job and I don’t know anyone here. The loneliness just got to me, I succumbed, I hate myself right now, but what is done is done.

Anyway, sorry to vent here.

Is there any risk? What about other std’s?

Do I even need to test at 13 weeks?

Thanks again, John.

[RapidRod]

You were never at risk and saliva is not a risk of HIV transmission. You do not need to test.

[ekaboka]

Thanks RapidRod...any thoughts on the lip sore?

[Ann]

ek,

What on earth does your lower lip have to do with a handjob? Unless you're a contortionist, I fail to see the connection.

Hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus that is primarily transmitted INSIDE the human body, as in unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. The use of condoms prevents this.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex with a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through all three condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Please also read our Welcome Thread and follow the link to our Transmission Lesson.

Correctly and consistently used condoms prevent hiv. It really is that simple!

Ann

[ekaboka]

Thanks Ann... and sorry, I meant do you think the lip thing could be an STD? But anyway, as long as there is no HIV risk, I am relieved.

[Ann]

ek,

Nobody can diagnose what's on your lip over the internet. If you're concerned about it, take it to a doctor.

Whatever is going on with you, you did not have a risk for hiv during the incident you bring to us.

Ann

[ekaboka]

Thanks again...

[ekaboka]

Sorry people, it's me again. I have read the lessons and searched the messages, but still wanted to clarify ... did not want to start a new thread

Last Sat, I did "frottage" with a woman ... sorry for the details ... basically she rubbed up and down my lubed penis with her butt-crack (as if she was ridng me, with her back towards me). Is that risky? I dont think I penetrated her, would have known if I did, right? I dont think there was any transer of body fluid, but what-if's crowd my mind ... please tell me your opinion.

Thanks again ...

[Ann]

eka,

Frottage is not a risk for hiv infection. And yes, you'd know if you penetrated her.

Ann

[ekaboka]

I am not trying be difficult, promise this is my last question:

Similarly, I would have known if I had penetrated her vaginally, too, right? I mean during the frottage, it might be hard to penetrate the anus but it might be easier to penetrate the vagina. What if some vaginal fluids got on my shaft or into the urethra?

Once again, sorry to keep asking questions, promise to let go this time...

[Andy Velez]

You're wandering around to no good purpose in the arena of "what ifs."

Just going from personal experience I would say that you would definitely know the difference between frottage and actually penetrating a vagina. Yes, they are significantly different in a purely sensory way.

You are worrying yourself needlessly.

[ekaboka]

Hello everyone,

I have a dilemma, and hope one of you experts can help. I will be going home for Thanksgiving later this month. I was planning to ask my fiancee to marry me (I will see her after a while). Do you think it is safe to do that now? Or should I wait 13 weeks, then test and tell her after making sure I get a negative decision?

Thanks, ekaboka.

[Matty the Damned]

Why do you need to test? Have you had unprotected anal or vaginal sex lately? And don't start with the frottage stuff again. We've told you that frottage is not a risk in terms of HIV.

MtD

[Andy Velez]

BUT, if you are going to continue to hang on to this unwarranted fear and indulge in all sorts of drama about it, then go ahead, get tested and collect the inevitable negative result. A waste of time, energy and resources, but it's up to you. You already know what we think and that you weren't at risk.

Sometimes that doesn't seem enough and people just have to get tested. It's your move...

[ekaboka]

Thanks Matty and Andy,

I hear you both ... I never doubted you guys ... sorry, I know I should let go.

Thanks again!!