POZ Community Forums
Main Forums => Living With HIV => Topic started by: LatinAlexander on October 20, 2008, 11:25:39 am
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Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.
Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.
Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.
I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.
Alex
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Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.
Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.
Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.
I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.
Alex
Alex,
You did do it right. The bad thing is that you have no control over his actions / reactions. Just don't let other's bad behavior have any control over your good behavior. The only good thing I can see from it is that you found out early on that he couldn't handle it (not that that makes it any easier). I'm sorry it didn't work out for you.
David
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Alex, if he left, good riddence. He was probably not worth the effort, because it takes a real man to face HIV, and there are so few out there.
Moving on.... Next time one will say "so what?", then you know you have a man of spirit.
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Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.
Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.
Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.
I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.
Alex
Well hunnie, if he took the high-road when he found out about your HIV+ status, then he really wasn't for you, I admire your honesty, and don't worry, you'll find someone else, I find it VERY INTERESTING that after 23.2 yrs. of AIDS, that people are still very ignorant about how you can get HIV and AIDS, and that it can be prevented ??? guess he just wasn't interested in SAFE SEX, or he may not know what that even is, I do hope he gets EDUCATED about all of this before it's too late.............he may already have HIV and STD's and may not even know this ::)
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Alex,
although I agree with all the above , i admit "it sucks"....
jesus..... why can't they just follow their heart....
hug and love to you Alex
Hermie
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Alex,
You're an honest man and you did do the right thing by being up front with him. It's his loss and not worth your time thinking about it. I know it's easier said than done and no one likes to go through reactions like that but keep your chin up buddy. Smile.
Pleasant surprises are always just around the corner! ;)
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thank you guys. I had to work only half time today, so I went to lunch and went to have a drink on y own. It is just that the feeling of abroken toy so so strong. And I ean, he was cute.and it was nice while it lasted. you know? I gave him my phone number, after I told him, just in case. even though in that momentbi knew he will never call.
yes. I am a little bit drunken. just a little bit. even when it is early here. whatever, who cares.
I just arrived to my tini place. I just wanna sleep. and cry. but even the tears reuse to com out .
alex
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Alex, there are many rejections in life over many subjects this one hit a really sensitive nerve..you did the right thing..he wasn't the one for you..
Nick
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Dear Alex
I can't really add anymore to what the guys have already sais except to say it's definately his loss.
{{{hugs}}}
Jan :-*
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Hi,
Hi: Just wanted to share this with you. Itīs kinda pathetic, but hey, I guess I can vent here.
Well, over the weekend, I decided to go out to a pub. It was a nice place, and I met a guy there. I mean, for me it is sooo very difficult to meet people, and approach others. Anyway. We began talking, and all of a sudden, we were kissing.
Things were getting "warmer" (You know what I mean). So I told him that before doing anything else, there was something he had to know. So I told him I am HIV+. And well, I guess he panicked. I wanted to be honest. To do the fraking damn right thing for once in my life. To try to do it right this time.
I just hate this f*cking thing. F*cking mess.
Alex
I'm sorry you had this reaction. But as others have said, this guy wasn't worth your time. There are better people out there for you. Way better !
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Alex,
I'm sorry this guy wasn't able to handle it. After I decided to go back out after my diagnosis, I told two guys I ran into ( that I had dated before) that I was now HIV pos, and they both reacted the same way. "So, I've dated pos guys before" . I was stunned by the responses. The third guy I told I ended up dating for a year. His reaction was different than the first two as he wasn't sure how to react, but knew he liked me enough to try and deal with it. The difference between that scenario and yours, is that we dated for a month WITHOUT sex before I told him. I let him get to knew ME first, before my medical history.
I've become leary of disclosing again, to the point of finding other excuses to stop seeing a guy because I don't think I'll continue to run into guys who are ok with it, and I don't think I'm going to like how it will feel.
Go ahead and let those tears out today, but no more drinking in self pity, ok ??
I hope that you can take this from this experience and learn from it- YOU DID PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE AND MET A GUY! He could have told you he doesn't date a Pisces man ( or whatever sign you may be~)! Get out there and do it again, but let the guy get to know you first before sex.
Be well,
Paul
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Alex,
I disclosed to my current partner immediately after my diagnosis and long before we became sexually or emotionally involved. Hell we weren't really much more than correspondents on the net! We've now been together for three years and I couldn't be happier! Conversely, after I disclosed and also well before I and my partner became involved, I disclosed to someone else under the same circumstances and he rejected me.
Bottom line, don't let this incident mislead your perception of what is important. The chance of a piece of ass isn't. Creating trust and building something worthwhile is!
Don't get discouraged and don't lower your morals.
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Alex,
I know, I know! No matter how well we intellectualize it or explain it as another's loss - it does hurt to be rejected over our status.
Allow yourself to be hurt (and angry too if that helps) but then move on from this expereience.
I'm proud that you did disclose, and I am hopeful that you will meet someone who will be attracted to your honesty and character.
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Thank you all guys and gals on your replies. They are really valuable to me.
Nothing that time, work, and a facial peeling cannot solve. It will hurt for sometime, but as everything else, this also shall pass.
Alex
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Thanks for sharing Alex. I think we have all been through this and you definitely did the right thing so I am proud of you. When you do it each time it even gets easier and gets rid of the bad apples right away.
The Best of Everything to You Alex.
David